A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who is reading and reviewing this story! I'm completely overwhelmed by all the positive feedback I've received so far and glad that so many of you are enjoying this fic. And now without further ado, another new chapter for your enjoyment! Happy reading! : )
Measure After Measure
Not surprisingly, Teal'c was happy to kel'no'reem in the living room. He even went so far as to plant himself at the foot of the stairs – the better to protect Sam from intruders – despite her assurances that it wasn't necessary.
Their friendly neighborhood Jaffa's behavior reassured Daniel that he wasn't the only one feeling overprotective right now. As unlikely as it was that the Goa'uld in Conrad would track Sam down, Daniel knew there was still a chance he would come after her and try to negotiate access to the stargate in exchange for her safety. Factor in the standing threat the NID posed, and Daniel was left feeling as though they weren't doing nearly enough to keep her safe.
The lingering worry that someone somewhere might one day choose to make Sam disappear again weighed heavily on his mind, making sleep elusive despite his recent estrangement from Hypnos. Given how his mind raced with enough material to fuel months' worth of nightmares, Daniel couldn't help but feel that maybe his sudden insomnia was a blessing in disguise.
Lying in the dark, he resisted the urge to toss and turn until he found a comfortable position for fear that he'd wake Sam. Ever the gentleman, he'd intended to sleep on the floor, but she had nixed the idea immediately. Instead, he lay sprawled across one half of the bed, listening to her deep, even breathing. He was glad she was asleep and hoped she would stay that way; her body had been through the ringer in the last few days and desperately needed the rest.
The exhausted ache in his muscles reminded him that he hadn't exactly spent the week taking walks in the park either, and he sighed quietly, rolling onto his side. He'd be more comfortable on the floor – free to toss and turn as he pleased – and Daniel knew it, but Sam had wanted him close for a reason, had even come right out and asked for it; he'd be damned if he disappointed her.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Even though her heart was pounding, Sam kept her breathing slow and rhythmic, feigning sleep. As tired as she'd been going to bed, she hadn't been able to drift off. The instant Daniel had killed the light, her other senses had kicked into overdrive, compensating for her reduced visual acuity.
Though she kept still, every creak the house made as it settled on its foundation set her heart racing, sure that someone was creeping through the darkness, coming after her. It was completely irrational – if an intruder did manage to get past Teal'c, the victory certainly wouldn't be achieved quietly – but she couldn't shake off the uncomfortably familiar feeling of being hunted.
Knowing how drained Daniel had been after too many consecutive sleepless nights, she tried hard to minimize any outward signs of her growing distress. It wouldn't be fair to ask him to stay awake any longer simply because she was losing her nerve and, she was starting to think, quite possibly her mind as well, so she continued pretending to be relaxed in sleep.
It would be so easy to give in to temptation, to sneak into the guest room, close the door behind her and call Jack. She knew he was sincere in his offer; he wouldn't mind if she rang even though it was late, and she had promised she would call if she needed to talk. But even if she picked up the phone, she had no idea what she would say. 'I'm terrified' wasn't exactly a conversation starter, and Sam wasn't sure she'd be able to follow up with an explanation of why. The way she was feeling right now, after 'I'm terrified' she might very well give in to the tears that had been threatening for hours and spend the remainder of the night bawling into the phone.
But she couldn't call and wake Jack just to have him listen to her break down again. He needed rest as badly as Daniel did, and he'd already endured enough sleepless nights on her account.
Which left Teal'c. She knew he would gladly sit up, listening to each and every thought in her head as they came to her, offering advice born from over a century of life experiences and calming her with his steady, solid presence. He would keep her confidence and wouldn't let the words that spilled from her affect the high regard he held her in.
But he too had set his own well being aside for the last few days, ignoring his symbiote's need for kel'no'reem in favor of finding her. In a way, it was far more dangerous than giving up sleep. A human pushing himself too long and too hard would eventually pass out, thus getting the rest he needed, but a Jaffa was immune to such autonomic defenses. Teal'c had the ability to push through exhaustion indefinitely, stopping only when his health was so seriously compromised that even his symbiote was unable to heal him without rest.
No, Sam couldn't – wouldn't – allow Teal'c to jeopardize his own life any further. Not for her.
Beside her, Daniel shifted restlessly, and it was clear that even in sleep, he was being conscientious, trying to sprawl out without jostling her.
That made the decision for her. Even dead to the world, Daniel was doing what he could to ensure that her sleep wouldn't be disturbed. The least she could do was return the favor. She would leave her teammates to get the rest they needed; she wouldn't ask one of them to sacrifice any more for her sake.
Mind made up, Sam slowly rolled over. Despite the voice in her head screaming for her to stay flat on her back, granting her a clear view of both the bedroom door and the window, she gently eased on to her side. She hated sleeping in that position, only did it when she had to, but it would bring her face to face with Daniel and she craved evidence that she wasn't alone. Not tonight.
When Sam turned her back to the window, leaving herself exposed to possible threats lurking outside, she expected her heart to speed up and the blood pounding in her ears to drown out all other sounds.
She didn't expect two sets of surprised blue eyes to meet in the dark.
"Sorry, for waking you," Daniel breathed quietly, berating himself for not being able to hold still. She needed rest, and here he was jostling her awake. "Go back to sleep."
"I wasn't sleeping," she confessed. There was no point maintaining the illusion any longer, not when they were both suffering from insomnia. "I feel like all my senses are on high-alert, waiting for something else to happen. I'm too keyed up to sleep."
Sighing heavily, his hand found hers and he twined their fingers together, squeezing reassuringly. "If you want, we could head back to the SGC and let you get some sleep in your quarters?" he offered.
It was late, he was exhausted but even now he was looking out for her, trying to do what was best for her with no regard for his own needs. She loved him for it, but she also wished he would stop being so sweet. If Daniel kept giving her the opportunity to return to the SGC and the sense of security being there gave her, she would eventually give in to the part of her demanding that she return to the barbed wire, armed guards and countless security checkpoints the base offered.
For the moment, she still had enough will power to refuse.
"I can't hide under the mountain forever," she argued. Reasonable. Rational. Two things she certainly wasn't feeling at the moment.
"Sam, we found you less than twenty-four hours ago. Give yourself a break; no one expects you to have bounced back come morning."
"I do," she refuted quietly. There was no bravado, just blunt honesty in the words.
"Well then you're going to be disappointed," he warned, trying to reason with her. "This wasn't 'nothing', Sam. What happened to you was bad, I don't have to tell you that, and there's no shame in needing a while to recover from it. It's going to take time; you have to be patient."
He was right and she hated it. Every moment she spent recovering was one more moment in which Adrian Conrad had power over her. Each time she fell victim to her crippling fear of doctors, strangers, loud noises, riding along in windowless vehicles, she granted him another tiny victory. She needed to wake up in the morning and be herself again, otherwise she might as well still be locked up in Saint Christina's; holding her captive psychologically was as bad, if not worse, than doing it physically.
With a defeated sigh, Sam slid across the mattress. She nestled against Daniel's side and settled her head on his shoulder, immensely grateful when he took her unexpected cuddling in stride and wrapped an arm around her waist. Lying still, she listened to the soothing, steady rhythm of his heart beneath her head and let her mind replay his words from earlier in the evening.
She was still alive and back with the people who cared about her. Meanwhile, Conrad had become a prisoner in his own mind. She'd won and he was paying for his crimes in the most terrible way Sam could think of. She wouldn't have wished becoming a host on anyone, but she didn't have any sympathy for the wealthy man either. He'd chosen his fate. Things hadn't worked out the way he'd planned, but it had been a calculated risk on his part; he'd known what it meant to let a Goa'uld crawl inside his head and he had allowed it to happen anyway.
"You're going to be okay, Sam," Daniel assured quietly, brushing her hair back.
"I'm having flashbacks," she murmured. "Probably having flashbacks. Possibly."
She knew he'd been there for a few of them, but still, she felt like it needed to be said. Because even if she reached a point where she no longer suffered from irrational, debilitating fears to nice, normal everyday things, there was still a chance the Air Force would decide she was unfit for service, let alone field duty.
"I know," he murmured, using the pads of his fingers to rub tiny circles against her scalp. Daniel was painfully aware of how much it had taken for her to make that admission to herself, never mind saying it out loud.
"Janet said it's too soon to say if they're flashbacks or not. If they are…"
"If they are, we'll deal with it," he said calmly, confidently. In his mind, there was no question of whether he and the others would be there to help her work through the consequences; it was a foregone conclusion.
"But what if I lose SG-1?" she insisted, sick with shame at thought of her field career meeting such an inglorious end. So many things had come close to breaking her over the years; it seemed unfathomable that Adrian Conrad might be the one to finally manage it.
"You might lose your field status, Sam, but you'll never lose us," Daniel promised, pulling her closer and kissing her gently on the forehead.
The conviction in his words moved right through her, forming a protective barrier between her mind and all the fears and worries clamoring for her attention. She'd needed to hear the words so desperately, but hadn't been able to ask. Now that they'd been spoken out loud, a promise had been made and she knew Daniel would do anything and everything he could to keep it.
Safe in the knowledge that, whatever the coming days brought with them, she would face it with her teammates at her side, Sam quickly fell into a deep, easy and much-needed sleep.
oOoOoOoOoOo
Teal'c's well-trained ears noted when the voices drifting down from the bedroom fell silent again. He waited patiently to see if the two scientists would strike up a new conversation, counting out a full ten minutes in his head before climbing to his feet. As silently as he could, he made his way upstairs to check on his teammates, employing all the stealth lessons Master Bra'tac had drilled in to him decades ago.
When he reached the door to the master bedroom, he pushed it open just enough to poke his head inside, a hint of a smile crossing his features at what he saw. He was relieved that Daniel and Sam had finally managed to fall asleep, curled up together on the half of the bed nearest to him. Their faces were relaxed in sleep, no trace of the week's worries and stresses marring their features, and the slow, gentle sounds of their breathing reassured him that neither was lost in a nightmare.
Confident that he had kept his word to Jack, Teal'c withdrew, closing the door quietly behind him. In no time at all, he was settled at the foot of the stairs once more, a silent sentry standing guard over his friends. He needed to kel'no'reem but would do so reluctantly. Although he was confident he would quickly snap out of his meditative state should there be any hint of trouble, he still wished he could stay up all night, the better to ensure no harm befell the people sleeping overhead.
Finally, he could wait no longer. Closing his eyes, Teal'c relented and slipped into kel'no'reem, giving his symbiote the time it needed to heal his body so that he would be at full health, should the need to act in defense of his friends arise in the days to come.
