Chapter 11: Incomplete
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I tried to go on like I never knew you
I'm awake but my world is half asleep
I've prayed for this heart to be unbroken
But without you all I'm going to be, incomplete
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AN: So this chapter is officially shitty, because I had it written and it was totally awesome and then my computer ate it. It's gone. So this is basically the abridged version of the other one, which was written about a month ago so of course I couldn't remember anything that happened, and it absolutely horrible.
I apologize in advance.
I also just moved into my new apartment so things have been kind of crazy, sorry it took so long!
After an agonizingly awkward conversation with Mr. Schue and Miss. Pillsbury, Rachel was finally able to leave McKinley High School. Like she did every day she went directly to the hospital to see Jesse, but today she felt like something was different. When she got to the hospital she could see her Daddy talking to the doctor, and she couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. They had been trying to approach the Berry men about taking Jesse off the ventilators and letting him try breathing on his own but neither man had given them permission to do so, as if the test was a failure the other man would die. She came up beside her daddy and smiled at the doctor who looked from her to her baby bump awkwardly before mumbling something about charts and bolting from the room. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes as she approached the bed and grasped Jesse's hand, a tear rolling down her cheek when she noticed that the physical aspects of the coma were starting to have an effect on him. She heard a knock on the door and she looked up, smiling when she saw Quinn Fabray leaning in the doorway. Quinn hesitated a moment but came in and sat down on the chair next to Rachel, refusing to make eye contact with the boy in the bed before them.
"You actually came in." Rachel said off handedly, surprised. "I thought you'd never make it past the doorway."
"I didn't want to, but…I'm trying." She smiled weakly and Rachel nodded before smoothing down a curl on Jesse's head that seemed to want to go astray. She knew it would kill him if he could see the state that his hair was currently in so when she came to visit she tried to smooth them out the best she could, which really wasn't that good at all.
"I know…you're a good friend, Quinn."
"Not so much." The blonde girl said, laughing darkly. "If I was a good friend we wouldn't be sitting here right now."
"This isn't your fault."
"It isn't yours either."
"Someone needs to take the blame." Rachel said quietly, pretending to be engrossed with Jesse's hair. It was growing back rather quickly, and she knew that it was horrible but it was a relief to her. She knew that if he woke up and found out that his hair was gone, the shock of it would probably send him into a second coma. On the outside she looked calm and collected but on the inside she felt like she was about to break, talking about the situation always made her feel helpless and it was a feeling she hated experiencing.
"That doesn't mean it has to be you, Rach." Rachel nodded and stood up quickly, stating that she'd be right back, before bolting from the room and into the corridor. She stood outside the room and took deep breaths, closing her eyes and counting to ten. Even just talking about the situation made her heart race like crazy, and it was almost too much for even her to bear. She took a few more deep calming breaths and braced herself, knowing that when she went back in the room she'd have to undoubtedly endure more questions. When she opened her eyes she was surprised to see a pair of piercing blue eyes staring back at her, their person dressed in blue attire that looked suspiciously familiar to the outfits Vocal Adrenaline had worn while performing Another One Bites the Dust.
"Are you Rachel Berry?" the stranger asked curiously, taking in her appearance with a questioning glance. She could feel his gaze settling between her face and her baby bump and she snapped her fingers in front of his face, bringing his line of vision back up to her face.
"Does this question have any relevance as to why you're here? I don't believe I know you?"
"I've heard a lot about you."
"Oh? How so?"
"Jesse talked about you nonstop, when he was talking that is. He said you were the most talented female in Ohio, which totally pissed off Giselle."
"Oh…and you are?"
"My name's Aiden. I came to see Jesse; we were on Vocal Adrenaline together." She resisted the urge to roll her eyes or sigh in exasperation as he used his association with Jesse in the past tense, but she was saved from having to do so as he continued to speak.
"The team really misses him; it's a really shitty deal what happened."
"He's not dead you know." She snapped in exasperation. "There's no need to talk about him in the past tense."
"I know he's not dead." Aiden said in frustration, realizing that this girl was just about as dramatic as Jesse and it was probably why they'd been so good together. "He just quit the team before he got in the accident, is what I meant."
"…what?"
"Coach Corcoran and Jesse got into it after she said we were doing drug tests and he had a fit and stormed out, apparently."
"How do you know this?" Rachel asked her voice barely above that of a whisper.
"She told us that Jesse had just quit Vocal Adrenaline right after we took a break and then two hours later she got a call and said he was in the hospital."
Rachel knew that Aiden was still talking but all she could hear was that her mother had known that something was wrong and had continued on with rehearsal like nothing was amiss. She felt the rage bubbling under her skin and she had to close her eyes and count to ten again before she was able to get them into check.
"Can you do me a favor, Aiden?"
"Uh…sure."
"When you go back to Carmel, would you be able to take me back to the high school?"
"Sure, I guess…but I'm just going to go say Hi to Jesse first. Be back in a few." She nodded and sunk down onto the corridor floor, cradling her head in her hands as she let the implication of Aiden's words wash over her. After what felt like an eternity he came out of the room and she followed him outside to his range rover, climbing in as they made their way to Carmel High.
"Do you want me to wait here for you?" He asked when they got to the school, not liking the idea of leaving Jesse's girl to fend for herself in a town where no one really liked her all that much. She shook her head and said that she would get one of her parents to come get her and with that he drove away from the school.
She took a deep breath as she stood outside of the school, wondering how she would confront the mother she'd never got the chance to get to know about her implication in Jesse's ordeal.
*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*
Shelby watched her group perform in perfect unison as she half heartedly wondered whether or not they should even bother continuing their rehearsals. After Jesse had left the group their numbers seemed to have gotten worse and worse and no one was even really trying anymore, including herself. She had reassigned Jesse's solos and re-choreographed the numbers but they just seemed off without their lead male vocalist…and no matter how good their new lead vocalist was, he would never compare to the likes of Jesse St. James.
Shelby was about to call the practice to an end when she heard the auditorium doors whip open with a slam, ricocheting off the walls as they slammed into them. She looked up and felt all of the color drain from her face when she realized who the irate person coming through them was, and she instantly called rehearsal to an end. After every single performer had left the theatre, Rachel approached her angrily and looked as if she was about to hit someone.
"Did you know?"
"I'm sorry…did I know what?"
"Don't play coy with me, Shelby." Rachel seethed, practically shrieking. Her small frame was shaking and Shelby noticed that she didn't look well at all. "I know that you kicked Jesse out of Vocal Adrenaline when he refused to take the drug test…and I know that you didn't even try to go after him when he stormed out. Aiden told me everything!"
First of all, when the hell had Rachel started talking to one of her performers? And second…oh shit.
"Rachel, it's not what it sounds like…." She started to explain, getting cut off mid-sentence by her irate daughter.
"Really? Because it sounds like your lead vocalist threw an out of character fit and stormed out of rehearsal, and you just continued on like nothing happened."
"Baby…"
"Don't baby me; I'm beyond angry with you." Her daughter was crying now and Shelby wanted nothing more than to take her in her arms and hold her until the pain went away, but she knew that she would never be able to do so. That was Leroy and Hiram Berry's job.
"You let this happen. You could've stopped all of this."
"I tried to talk to him…"
"Really? Like you tried to talk to me after you forced him to play espionage for you? You don't try, you expect things to come easy and then when they don't you run scared in the opposite direction."
"I told him that he was like a son to me and—"
"If you really cared about him you would have cared less about your perfect show choir and more about making sure he was okay." Rachel said through her tears, trying to contain herself. "The fact that you knew and did nothing…that you kept on with your rehearsal…" She was shaking like a leaf now and Shelby was afraid that she was going to collapse at any minute. She tried to wrap the younger girl in a hug but Rachel pushed her off.
"I hate you." She spat, scrambling out of the auditorium doors. As Shelby watched her go she couldn't help but notice how the most important people in her life seemed to be making it a habit to storm out using those particular doors.
Maybe it was a sign.
*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*
Rachel didn't make it very far before she collapsed to the ground, sobs overcoming her entire body as she picked up her phone and made a phone call. She didn't want her Daddy and Dad to see her so upset so she called the one person that she knew wouldn't be bothered by her tears to come get her. When his truck pulled into the parking lot she managed to pick herself up off of the ground and thank him for coming before dissolving into tears once more. When they pulled up outside of her house he asked her if she wanted any company but she declined, thanking him for leaving his x-box behind to come and rescue her. She'd never thought a day would come when she'd be thankful for Noah Puckerman, but it had.
She managed to make it upstairs and into her room before fully giving into her emotions, pouring out everything she'd been experiencing and holding in since she'd found out that Jesse was in the hospital. She managed to pull out her cell phone and dial Quinn's number, hoping that the other girl would be able to make sense of the nonsense running through her head.
She didn't know what to think anymore…or who to trust.
*GLEE*GLEE*GLEE*
AN: Short and Horrible, I know. The other one was SO much better; I'm very disappointed that I lost it. EPICFAIL. Hopefully the next chapter makes up for it!
