Because You're A Hero
Al, Tom and Michelle left the courtroom that day feeling slight bewildered, Al was trying to sound as hopeful as possible, for Tom more than anything but he wasn't sure that it was working. Al and Tom knew that going back to PQL HQ would be a waste of a journey, there wasn't much they could do there at this point in time so they figured even before leaving it'd be best to save the journey there and back and just stay here in town in a hotel.
Al had relayed the info to Michelle who absolutely disagreed with it and demanded that they come stay at her house. Al and Tom had both known they didn't want to intrude, but she had practically thrown them into their car and demanded they follow her back. So they did and as soon as Al had climbed into that wonderfully soft bed last night he'd fallen right off, forgetting that he was supposed to call Beth and let her know how it went.
Morning came quicker than Al wanted, after asking Michelle if he could make a long distance call and she agreed he excused himself to the bedroom once more and left Tom with Michelle in the kitchen.
"Hey hunny." Al said as she picked up the phone on the other end, he could hear the sounds of kids playing and his daughters chatting in the background. He felt his heart melt when she spoke. "Al! How are you? Where are you?"
"I'm fine, we're all fine, much the same as when you left us. We had the Committee meeting yesterday as you know in town, I met up with an old friend of mine from the army, she's helping us with the case, actually she's helping us out in a lot of ways, she's given us a warm bed and roof over our heads with the promise of dinner, lunch and breakfast for however long this takes."
"That's great hunny, I miss you so much, everyone says hello." He smiled warmly feeling his heart glowing, for though he didn't look or act like he missed home, he sure as heck did. He missed his kids and grandkids, the sights and smells of home. Again inside his head he was thanking Sam over and over for giving him all of this. "Tell them I said hello too and that I miss and love them all so much."
"I will hunny, so tell me everything that happened with the committee yesterday…." Beth trailed and Al began… "Well…"
"Oh my lord." Michelle sparked, almost dropping the tray full of chips to the ground, luckily Tom was at hand, ready and waiting in her shadow to catch the tray, luckily spilling only a couple over the side. Thankfully and even more luckily the dog was to Tom's hand, eating the spillage before they had a chance to stop him. "Oh Mack, go on shoo, shoo!" She ushered the dog out the way and out the door, allowing Tom to pick up the remnants.
"Dogs!" Tom laughed lightly, dumping the bits in the bin. "Here, let me help you with these…" He took a couple of the plates from her and she smiled thankfully to him. "Thanks Tom, I think I could do with an extra pair of hands right now."
"Well you know, I'm always trying to be helpful in some way. Can't stand around and do nothing, it makes me nervous."
"Are you kidding?" She laughed, "You army men do nothing but slurp that beer out on the battlefield." She winked and walked to the door, opening it for them. He laughed "You were there when I was in 'Nam?"
"Hmm, no but I could say that maybe that's what Al would have been doing, or actually did do before he became a POW." She chuckled lightly as they walked the massive garden, at the very end behind the small bushes there was a massive swimming pool, her twenty five year old daughter still lived at home and wanted to have a pool party for her birthday, so she invited all her friends and Michelle became the designated chef for the day.
There were a heck of a lot of people in and out the pool, which was almost like an Olympic swimming pool in size, there were also a heck of a lot of people around patio tables eating and Michelle was finding it hard to keep up with the food making.
Thankfully again, Tom and Al had repaid her service to them by helping out with this party, as a side gesture, Michelle managed to contact quite a few of hers and Al's friends yesterday who she told that he was in town, if they wanted to meet up and chat about the good old days they were more than welcome.
Most of them had agreed and more than invited had turned up, now it was becoming an all out party mayhem and she felt she was being lost in the middle. She knew most of them had really only come to see Al as she tried to keep in regular contact with them anyway, so she hoped Al wouldn't be too long on the phone…
Placing the tray down on the table she breathed deeply and looked to Tom. "You know it's as hard being a mom now as it was when she was 10 and having clowns here making balloon animals." Tom laughed and looked out across the massive garden to them having fun in the pool. "I can bet, kids can amazing when their that age."
"Do you have kids Tom?" She asked, he shook his head. "Not yet, but I had a young sister back in Ilk Ridge - a while ago obviously as she works with us on the project now, when Katie was young she was in to everything." He laughed at the thoughts.
"Well they are a handful; I can't see why a married man like you hasn't decided to have kids yet. How long have you been married?" She pointed to the wedding ring on his finger and he blushed fumbling with it to take it off. She wondered what she'd done wrong and felt her stomach sink slightly.
"Tom?" She asked when he kind of looked away but more gazed out again at the pool area. "She err…We were… We were married for a day…" He kind of laughed at the end with a small 'ha.' She took a deep breath and laughed "Oh my god what happened? Is that the shortest marriage or what?" she continued to laugh thinking that it was a case of the groom being jilted on at the honeymoon suit. "Yeah…" He laughed nervously and looked down. "I should err…Yeah I should go check on those cheese puffs…" He commented turning quickly and walking towards the kitchen.
Michelle felt kind of odd, she didn't know what she'd done wrong, but Tom had made a swift exit and she hoped she hadn't upset him. Staring at him, she was oblivious to Al coming up behind her and wrapping his arm around her shoulder laughing out with a cigar in his fingers. "Thanks for letting me use the phone Michelle, hey gawd I haven't seen these guys in YEARS." He laughed, but he could tell she wasn't really listening.
"Michelle?" He asked again, she finally looked to him. "Yeah great…Al is he ok?" She asked changing the subject quickly. He looked to where she was pointing and saw Tom entering the kitchen slowly. "Yeah I think so…Why? Did he say something?" Al was curious, it wasn't like Tom to be rude to a lady, he'd never known it before and not since they'd met up again, even to Beth he was very polite.
She thought for a moment before turning to pick up an empty tray. "No, no he didn't say anything that's just it. We were talking about kids and he told me about his sister Katie, then I asked if he was married and…" Al cut her off with an 'oh no' under his breath.
She looked at him worried, "All I asked was why a married man like him hadn't had kids yet and how long he'd been married, I saw the wedding ring on his finger I just assumed he was…He said they were married for a day and I thought he was one of them jilted honeymooners and he and I were having a joke about it but he took off before I could…" She paused as Al shook his head slowly looking down for a moment before looking up and taking a chuff on his cigar.
"What did I do?" She asked; he looked at her slowly. "It's not you Michelle…Tom…Tom's wife died on their honeymoon, she and Tom had an argument the day they arrived, he went out to get some air…When he came back they found her on the floor in the bathroom…The place was a mess, water overflowing…She'd had a heart attack, just like that…Gone."
Michelle covered her mouth to hide the shock and sheer embarrassment. "Oh my god and I laughed at him…" She could feel the tears well up in her eyes and she tried to fight it. "I should go apologise, do something!" She went to dash off towards the kitchen but Al grabbed her arm to stop her. "Michelle, don't do it, let me." He gazed into her teary eyes and she into his strong pair. She stayed like that for a long moment before she nodded and he let her go…
"Tell him I'm sorry Al, I feel awful…He's such a nice guy too…"
"I will…" Al ushered her to smile with a whisper of his fingers to her cheek. She did and when he achieved that he moved onwards towards the house, towards the kitchen and to Tom. Knowing all the while that this wasn't his place, it was Sam's but for now, Al would have to do. He moved towards the door slowly, his eyes glancing through the window and not immediately spotting him.
When Al opened the door, he looked around the kitchen but only caught a glance of Tom in the mirror in the living room, he was sat on the sofa, clutching a stiff drink in between his fingers and staring at the coffee table. Al wasn't good with these kinds of situations, he was rather an emotional man but he never like to show it.
Sam had been on the receiving end of most his emotional break downs particularly the most important one concerning Beth when they worked on the Starbright project together. "Beth says hello." Al spoke as he walked into the living room, his hands now buried in his pockets, the cigar he was smoking stubbed out in the kitchen ashtray.
Tom put down the glass of brandy and smiled quickly and rather solemnly up at Al. To Tom there didn't seem any point in really being happy anymore, the only reason he smiled was knowing that one day they'd find Sam and everything would be okay, Sam would put right his wrong with his wife and he'd live a happy life forever and there after. Al of course knew different, but how could he do that to Tom, break his heart and hopes like that?
"Are you okay kid?" Al asked, coming around so that Tom could look at him more clearly. Tom starred at the drink swirling around in his glass, he took a long time to answer "If only I'd known then what I know now…I wouldn't be this old man with no kids and no future…All I wanted was a chance…A chance to settle down with someone I loved, to make mom and dad happy with grandchildren running around their feet…First dad died, then Sam disappeared, then mom died and then my wife…How much worse could it get?"
Al felt for Tom, like a brother, he tried to take in what Tom was saying but he couldn't help but wonder how hard it was for him. "Sam's my only hope at getting them back; Sam can make it right again I know he can…" Al wondered if what he was about to say could be considered cruel, he actually began remarking inside his head that maybe the whole project was cruel, in its own way of course. If what Sam had said was true about him being leaped around by himself, what right did he have to decide whose lives would be changed and who wouldn't. But then Al could never truly believe Sam was leaping himself around, like the time he leapt home and remarked about trying to change his families lives, he'd said "Why can I save strangers and not the people I love?" Al didn't realize he'd said that out loud.
Tom looked to him and Al stood watching him. "Sam said that to me once, when he leaped back home. You see he'd leaped into his 17 year old self right before you left for 'Nam and he was trying to convince you to not go or to find the biggest hole and climb into it for 24 hours, he tried to convince your dad to get healthy, to convince your sister not to marry Chuck, but you guys couldn't see it then…" Tom starred at Al, the tears rolling down his cheeks.
"Sam loves you guys so much, he wanted to make everything perfect but he couldn't change your histories…Well not until it came to you." Tom shook his head as he stood and gazed at Al. "Sam was with you in 'Nam, was the one that saved you from being shot in the back actually…He could have freed me form being a POW but he went to save you instead…" Al paused feeling the tears well up inside of him; he never let it show though. "Those photo's that Miss Dawson took, the last one's she took were of me…Sam could of saved me, could have saved my marriage too…But he chose to save you and never ever have I ever held that against him…What the heck, I got repatriated in five years and in the end he saved me anyway."
Tom's tears were fully flowing down his cheeks as he stood in front of Al, he never knew, never realized until now…Al continued "Sam cant save you Tom, he cant save your dad from dying…He tried. He can't save your sister from marrying Chuck, he tried and he can't save your wife from dying, he doesn't have a magic wand Tom, things aren't that simple…Believe me, he'd do anything though…If he could…But he can't and he won't. Project Quantum Leap doesn't work like that; we can't change our own histories for the better, despite what Sam did for me or even what he did to save you."
Tom was hurt, he was hurt and angry and wanted nothing more than to sob his heart out alone and in private, he knew bringing Al back to the project would be the hardest thing since Al knew Sam now better than he ever did, for Tom had chosen a very different style of life to Sam and to be honest, Tom never thought he'd be doing something like this for the rest of his life. The truth was that Al was right, no matter what happened Al would always BE right because he knew it's what Sam would say. So Tom went to slug him across the jaw, pathetically missed and was only being held up by Al's arm around his waist.
Tom sobbed his heart out into Al's shoulder, feeling himself letting go of a lot of emotional pain over the last few years, he felt incredibly stupid, but Al didn't mind, in fact he was shedding a couple of tears himself, it had been a long time coming, finally Tom had really started to open up to Al and he was thankful as it made their bond in getting Sam home almost unbreakable.
"All I wanted Al was a happy life, all I wanted was to grow old and be happy with her, but she left just like Sam and mom and dad…Why are people leaving me Al? Why am I loosing the only people I love more than anything in the world? It's killing me I can't…" He broke down again, feeling like a complete idiot for being this way in front of him, Al sat him down, bending down to his knees in front of Tom and gripping his shoulder, making Tom look Al in his eyes.
"Their never gone, you know? Up here and in here…" He tapped Tom's chest and temple on his head. "Their always alive, their souls never die, every time your memory whispers their name, their spirits grow a little more at peace, until one day you yourself are free…" Tom pushed his face down into his hands crying a little more before he whispered "Maybe I can ask Sam to help me before he leaps back, maybe I can get him to go back and tell me not to argue with her; maybe then he can…" Al shook his head as he caught Tom's red eyes again.
"It can't happen Tom, even if he did change history so that you and your wife never argued, she'd still die…Because like you said, the coroner said it was one of those things and could have happened anytime. You can't change someone's health, you can't change Gods plan for them…"
"How do you know?" Tom snapped violently and stood shoving Al away as he stood too. "You have your wife back; Sam changed it so she'd remember you and that changed everything. You were allowed to be happy why not every one else? Why?"
"I don't know why Tom, I don't know why the Earth turns or the birds sing, I don't know why God supposedly allowed my 16 year old sister to die of pneumonia, or why he let my mom leave us or why my sister had down's syndrome. Why my dad had to die a painful death or why it took Sam five years for God to ever consider letting Sam change my history, even slightly. I don't know why he let me suffer incredibly in a POW camp or why none of my marriages to any of my other four wives after Beth never worked, I DON'T KNOW!" He finished with a jolt by adding "But I DO know that for what I have now I'm grateful, I have to hold on to the hope that I can get Sam back because I watched him hurt for five years, because HE sacrificed himself for me, because he deserves a chance to really LIVE a life that he wants to, for god sakes Tom Sam doesn't even know Donna OD'd how can you imagine he's going to feel when he gets back IF he gets back? Your not the only one suffering here Tom, whatever Sam is going through right now he's alone and probably scared, at least you have Katie and the project team and us, who does he have?"
Tom starred at Al as if he were a guilty puppy just caught with his paw in the cookie jar. Al was right, here he was moping and feeling jealous about Al and Sam's choices during their leaping, when in actual fact Tom felt that through all his hardships, it had made him a stronger man.
He sighed; dropping his guard as Al had hoped, now was the time… "It wasn't your fault Tom. You couldn't have helped her and neither could Sam…It was her time, no matter how much you wish you could change what happened you can't and to ask Sam to try is incredibly selfish of what he might want more than anything right now…A big hug from his big brother." Tom was in full tears, he was right, Al had hit the nail on the head and finally sealed the coffin in which his beautiful wife laid.
For some reason he fell to his knees, his head in his hands sobbing, he couldn't help it. He was an army man, a tough guy but…But Al was right and the truth hurt. It was almost as if a weight had been lifted off Tom's shoulders, his wife's constant haunting of his persona had left him, and he felt free… Al bent down and took Tom into his arms as a big brother would. For now words were left on the doorstep to Tom's heart, Al knew what he wanted to say, the same as Tom knew what he wanted to say…Words weren't as important as what a hug from someone who cared could do and Al cared, that was always his problem, he cared too much about Sam and his family.
"Bye!" Michelle waved off her daughter and their friends, it was gone 8pm and dark outside except for the few fairy candle lights scattered around the pool, in the pool – floating on the surface and on some of the tables next to the pool. She came to one of the deckchairs and sat down in it, sitting back with a big sigh, she was exhausted, the garden was a tip and the house wasn't much better.
There were some underwater lights in the pool that made it glow softly, Michelle couldn't help herself and slipped off her aching heels and lifted the bottom of her long dress to her knees as she sat on the edge of the pool, lowering her legs into it. The cool water felt so good around her ankles, her ankles that of course looked old and over established. She felt the water between her toes, on her soles and drifting over her calves.
"Hi…" A man's voice from behind made her jump slightly, but she relaxed again when she saw Tom…It was strange, Tom had the most unbelievably soothing effect on her, she admired him a lot. But yet she hadn't seen him since earlier this morning when she'd upset him and was still now slightly on edge as to what had happened.
Al had returned after an hour with Tom and explained what happened, also that he'd gone out to get some time to himself, she'd heard mild shouting and some harsh words being said about Tom, his wife and Sam, but she'd tried not to listen in too much, she wanted Tom to talk to her, but in his own time and his own way. "Hi Tom…" She smiled warmly, tapping the concrete next to her. He thought for a moment, before slipping off his shoes and socks and rolling up his trousers to his knees, sitting down and draping his legs into the water as she had done.
There was a long silence when suddenly out of the blue they both spoke at the same time with mixed sentences, they both laughed and she ushered him to go first, eventually he did and paused to gather his thoughts before looking from the water to her. She was stunning; in this light and in any light really, she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever laid his eyes upon. He blushed a little, knowing what he wanted to say but knowing he couldn't say it right now.
"I wanted to apologize for earlier, I…I've been through a tough time just of late…Sam and the project, my mom dying…My wife…" He paused again, feeling the pain in his chest, she could see this was hard for him, she wasn't blind. "Tom it's okay you don't have to if you don't want to…"
"No please…Michelle…Its okay…I'd like to." He looked into her beautiful blue eyes, her dark blonde hair cascading around her cheeks. "If you'd like to listen that is?" She looked at him and shook her head slowly. "I'm afraid I can't do that Tom…" He looked as if he were about to fall flat on his face. "You see I'm enjoying this water way too much…" She burst out laughing and he did too, realizing she was pulling his leg. She finally stopped after a few moments and smiled warmly at him, indicating with her smile that she'd like for him to talk to her.
"Shall I start with once upon a time or in the beginning there was God?" Tom laughed jokingly, she did too "I think we'll skip the first billion years, let's get to the part where you were born…" Tom's eyes widen slightly "I'm not sure you wanna hear about that…"
"Oh I don't know, I think I'd like to hear about what Tom was like as a baby…." He starred at her incredulously for me a moment before beginning… "Okay, but on one condition?"
"What's that?" She laughed out loud. "You promise not to laugh and to tell me what you were like!" She laughed out harder, shaking her head, but Tom gave her the 'do it' look so she agreed.
"Well I was a big baby for a start…I wasn't really aware of what I was doing and I gurgled a lot…" Michelle laughed and slapped his shoulder playfully, "Tom!" He laughed to….
After an hour or two Michelle and Tom had talked out their lives till almost today. Tom had told things about him and Sam and Katie that no-one else knew, he'd talked about the project, about the people there and Gooshie's bad breath problem, to which they both laughed hysterically. She'd talked about her childhood, her elder brother getting killed in Vietnam, her mom and dad who still were alive and well in San Diego, her time in the war with Al and how they met, up to how she managed to get here today. They'd had a great laugh discussing it all, Tom finally after another hour opened up about his wife and told Michelle the wonderful parts, then the horrific part…But he didn't cry, he wanted to, Michelle even said it was okay to…But for some reason after talking with Al he found himself with more self control and took her memory as one to be blessed and thankful for.
Michelle was proud of him and as the conversation died down a bit, she thought for a moment before looking from the water up at him. He eyed her curiously… "Can you swim Tom?" Before he had a chance to reply she grabbed a handful of water splashing him and diving into the pool, fully dressed. Once inside she de-robed some of her clothes that could weigh her down, but left her underwear on, he'd covered his reaction with his arms, but was still laughing. He took off his trousers and shirt and tossed them aside before diving in too…
"Oh you are so gonna get the dunk!" Tom laughed menacingly, going towards her; she laughed splashing him furiously to get him away. He still kept on coming, grabbed her around the waist and spun her around in the water slowly before bringing her up to his chest and holding her up against him. She laughed, but the laughter slowed and she wrapped her arms around his neck slowly, feeling their wet chests touch and their lips merge as he leant up and she leant down at the same time to give the other a passionate kiss.
He didn't know what was happening, or even why it was happening so quick…He wasn't ready for this yet was he? She too wasn't sure what the heck was going on this guy had flipped her switch and made her feel fantastic in one night, than her ex-husband had in 25 years, where had he been all her life?
He looked up at her as they slowly pulled away, breathing heavily, his hands moved up her back slowly caressing her roughly, feeling every inch of her back she wanted him as much as he wanted her and there was not a person in this world that could stop them right now…
"Am I interrupting something here or is this a private party?" Tom and Michelle broke apart so quickly that the water spilled over the edges at each side of the pool. The forcefulness of them drawing back embarrassed was almost too much for Al who'd been there and done that scene too many times, especially when someone walked in on you in the heat of the moment, he hated doing it and wished he hadn't but this was important. "Michelle your mother and father are here."
Michelle looked at him worried; they never came to visit her. He joked with her of course and spoke the truth, taking from behind his back the phone and handing it to her in the water. "Mom!" She laughed glaring at Al; Tom got out the water and helped Michelle out after. Luckily Al had spotted the splashing and had took two towels out with him, wrapping one around him, Tom wrapped the other around Michelle, she moved off towards the house and Tom looked at Al. "Oh boy."
