Love is Blind a cinny-ster fic

As always I do not own any part of CBS, ABC, Criminal Minds or the characters of the show. All original characters are of my own imagination and any resemblance to living or deceased persons is purely coincidental. For entertainment purposes only.

And a huge Thank You to a special person who fed this monster and inspired this story. Lynn you know I mean you! Thank you for giving me the initial idea and allowing me to run with it in my own cinny-ster way!

And big time thanks to all of you, (you know who you are) who help me daily with reading and suggesting helpful ways to improve the stories I attempt to write. Without the reader and the reviews I would never do this, so Thank You from the bottom of my heart!

The team is working a tough case of an Angel of Mercy Killer. Hot on her trail they discover a personal relationship between the unsub and one of the team members.

Chapter 11

The funeral was grave side and Reid was the only one there besides a minister and the funeral director. He paid for all of it and even though she did what she did, he still cared about her so much. He insisted on staying and watched as they lowered the casket into the ground. It was grey outside, with storm clouds rolling in and Spencer thought it couldn't have been more fitting, the weather matching his sober mood. How was he so blinded by all of this? He should have figured it out. She went to visit patients in the hospital and nursing homes. She told him that and he thought it was sweet the way she cared about her patients. 'I should have seen the signs should have known that she was unstable. I guess love is really blind, deaf and dumb too.'

Morgan found Reid at the cemetery. "I'm sorry, Reid, for all of this."

Reid ignored the comment for a couple of minutes and then he turned towards him. "You didn't have to kill her Morgan. You emptied your clip! You didn't have to!"

"Reid she was going to kill you, man!"

"You should have….you should…" Reid sunk to the grass, pulling his knees up to his chest folding his arms over them, he buried his face as he whispered, "You should have let her."

Morgan squatted next to Reid. He didn't know what to do for his friend, other than just sit there with him while he let it out.

Emily put the car in park just as she saw Reid drop. Spencer had told them to stay away but she couldn't do it. They had shared something, being held captive in that ranch a couple of years back, had given them a bond only they shared. Emily could stay away as easily as she could stop breathing. He needed her if he knew it or not. Something wasn't right, she watched him fall apart on that roof top barely holding it together at his mom's hospital. Then Reid had gone stone cold, closed in on him self shutting out everyone. Emily was terrified that Reid was about to break, this week she had followed him around trying to keep an eye on him to make sure he was alright. He wasn't and she sensed it was a matter of time. And here it was the moment she had dreaded, his breaking point. 'Could he be helped?' She wondered out loud.

Morgan was sitting with him, but Emily knew he wasn't getting through. Reid's body language suggested he had shut down. Morgan exchanged looks with Emily before he took his hand off of Reid's shoulder, to allow Emily room to move in. She sat down next to him, pulling him into her arms. Reid leaned into Emily, clinging to her as if she were a lifeline thrown to a drowning man. Deep sobs rocked his body.

"Reid its ok let it out, just let it out." She kissed his head brushing his hair away from his face.

Reid couldn't talk. His words were strangled in his throat by unshed tears. Few words managed to slip out.

"Should…me…have…been…me….not…"

"No Reid it shouldn't have been you. She wasn't well. Shh honey it's going to be alright."

"No…not alright…I want it…want it to be me….why" Reid was trembling and Emily held him tighter. A car pulled along side of the curb and Rossi, Hotch, Garcia, and JJ got out. Emily rubbed Spencer's head pushing his hair away from his face. "It will be ok Reid, it will be ok."

Garcia hugged JJ fighting tears as she heard Reid's ramblings about wanting to die. It tore her heart out to see him so broken. She could only imagine what Morgan was feeling.

Morgan could do nothing but sit on a bench and watch his friend fall apart. Hotch opened his phone taking a few steps away from the group. When he returned an ambulance was on its way and Reid was screaming. "Please let it end, please!"