A freak of nature, stuck in reality
Under the radar, out of the system,
caught in the spotlight, that's my existence,
You try to leave me,I don't get better,
In my dreams,
together, we'll be...Strange, strange,
in your perfect world...
Strange-I am so afraid
Strange-I am so afraid
Strange, Strange
In your perfect world,
Sooo strange,strange
I feel so absurd in this life,
Don't come closer, in my arms,
Forever you'll be strange, strange
Like Me
In my arms forever you'll be,
Strange, Strange,
Like Me...
[Strange by Tokio Hotel and Kerli]
February rolled around and brought along the lilac grey colored clouds. The grass on the courtyards still crunched under their shoes from frosted dew in the mornings, but the snow began to melt.
Every time she passed by Draco, Brooke urged herself to go up to him. The least she could do was say a thank you for not letting her drown herself, but after class or each two second crossing in the hall failed mostly because of her annoying excuses. She didn't want to interrupt him in a conversation. Or perhaps he had somewhere to go and would be late if she stopped him. Each thought had an empty promise to thank Draco later.
Again it was happening.
Draco was walking down the stairs leading into the Slytherin dungeon, alone. It was perfect timing. Brooke quickened her pace toward the stairs, but stopped at the first step. Was she even allowed to go down these steps or were they only for Slytherins? Well, if she called out his name, she would definitely look too eager or maybe even frighten him and cause him to trip on the stairs.
Then, he disappeared into their common room. Brooke groaned, disbelieving such ridiculous thoughts could cause so much doubt.
Shaking her head, she continued through the hall.
The sixth years had their first apparation lesson scheduled around midday and they gathered in the Great Hall.
The four heads of houses stood in place of the four house tables. Snape, McGonagall, Flitwick and Sprout ordered the students to be quiet as a frail old man with wisps of white hair stood before them. Brooke, Anthony, Hermione and Harry (Ron was nearby somewhere with Lavender) were close enough to the front where she could see the old man's hands. They looked more like long bones with worn out leather loosely holding them together.
"Good morning," said the wizard in much stronger voice than she expected. "My name is Wilkie Twycross and I shall be your Ministry Apparation instructor for the next twelve weeks. I hope to be able to prepare you for your Apparation Tests in this time-"
"Malfoy, be quiet and pay attention!" barked Professor McGonagall.
Everyone turned around. Draco glowed dull pink patches on his cheeks and took a step away from Crabbe.
"As you may know," continued Twycross, "it is usually impossible to Apparate or Disapparate within Hogwarts. The headmaster has lifted this enchantment, purely within the Great Hall, for one hour, so do not be unwise to try anything foolish. Now, to make this go a tad bit more smoothly, get into alphabetical order."
The students bustled around trying to figure out where to stand with such a huge amount of space in the room.
"Come now, alphabetical," said Flitwick, trying to organize as much as possible. "Longbottom, then Malfoy, then McDougal. McDougal? Where is that boy?"
He circled around in his place.
"Professor, his parents took him out last term, remember?" said Justin Finch Fletchley from the line in front of them.
"Oh, right, well then, Ms. Miller," gestured Flitwick to the spot next to Draco. For a second she stared at him incredulously, but was physically moved and stumbled into her place. There was exactly ten feet in front of her before the next line of students. Anthony and Hermione were within sight in front and Harry was somewhere in the line behind her, further than ten feet would normally feel. The four foot spaces horizontally, however, felt like four inches.
If she tried to move further away from Draco, it meant moving closer to Theodore Nott, and that would simply be unpleasant, so Brooke stayed put. Being this close, she felt inclined to say something. Never would another perfect chance to say thank you offer itself to her. Please say something, her head rang. Brooke's eyes focused on anything on her right side like the back of Seamus' head or the moving crinkles on Justin's shirt, however, her attention laid fully on every slight movement in the corner of her eye.
He turned enough for her to catch his face and she tilted her head slightly to glance, but he looked up to the front. His mouth opened, but then it closed.
His head turned in her direction and she looked at him. His eyes weren't initially on her, but Brooke's sudden glance immediately cued his stare to fall on her.
"Erm," she said, then er mind wiped blank. The lack of looking him straight in the eyes for almost a year made her forget the sharp details in the cool grey in his eyes, and the ice colored flecks piercing through the colors. In contrast, Draco had the nice picture of her mouth hanging open.
"I'm really sorry," he said articulately, but softly.
"Sorry for what?" she asked, taken out of her mental lock.
Draco wanted to say sorry for a number of things, but settled on, "For what happened to your father. Erm, I'm really sorry to hear about it and I'm sorry since my father…"
"Oh," Brooke nodded. "That's okay. I'm sure its just as hard with your father being on the other side of that."
"Kind of different, though," he said.
"Well, there's no need for you to apologize for it," she said.
"Yes, there is. I know he won't and," he paused, taking a look at her- for months she'd been an blurred image in his peripheral sight, but now Draco was forced to face what he tried to erase from his mind. "And it was a mistake, on his part," he added, catching himself from what might have turned to be an awkward confession.
"Thanks," she gave a smile. Now, her mind urged. "For that and for getting me in the lake."
"It was no problem," he said quickly. "Luck- it was, really."
"I suppose, but you didn't have to run into a freezing cold lake at nighttime," she said. "If you weren't there, I would've probably-"
"No problem," he said again, quietly and paused. "You're alright, though?"
"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm good. Better."
He nodded back politely.
"What about you? Are you okay?" she asked hesitantly.
"I guess I'm alright," he said, surprised. "Why?"
"I dunno," she shrugged. "Have you been getting much sleep? You look exhausted."
"No, but it's a small sacrifice compared to-"
Twycross interrupted the conversation, leaving Brooke with a puzzling half of a sentence.
"Now then…" he flicked his wand and wooden hoops appeared on the floor in front of each student. "The important things to remember when Apparating are the three D's! Destination, Determination, Deliberation!
Step one: Fix your mind firmly on your destination; for this exercise that would be the interior of the hoop."
Brooke stared at the hole in front of her.
"Step two: Focus your determination to occupy the visualized space."
She wasn't sure how hard she would have to stare at the empty hoop just to get into it. Nonetheless, she stared, but it seemed unlikely to work without a wand or something.
"Step three," said Twycross, "and only when I command to do so, turn on the spot, feeling your way into nothingness, moving with deliberation! One…two…three!"
Alarmed that Twycross expected them to try it, Brooke spun on the spot. She staggered for a moment, then collided into another spinning body and ended up on the floor. Draco groaned from underneath her.
"I am so sorry!" Brooke gasped, quickly getting up.
"It's okay," he said grabbing her offered forearm to stand up. A numbing prickling spread across her arm from where he held on.
In front of her own hoop again, she was surprised to feel heat rising up to her face. Brooke mentally slapped herself and shook her attention back to Twycross, who seemed to expect their failed attempts to Apparate.
"Never mind, never mind," said Twycross. "Adjust your hoops, please, and back to your original positions."
Brooke hardly wanted to practice anymore, afraid that each time she would end up colliding into Draco. There was no doubt in her mind that Brooke wouldn't be able to Apparate this first lesson.
"One…two…three!"
Spinning on the spot again, Brooke staggered, but controlled herself from moving further away from her wooden hoop. Theodore Nott didn't have as much luck and fell forward both the second, third and fourth times. Susan Bones screamed from inside her hoop, at what Brooke thought was happiness until she saw Susan's left leg still on the other side.
The Heads of Houses gathered and after a purple smoke, her leg was back in place, but Susan was still horrified.
"Splinching, or the separation of body parts when the mind is insufficiently determined," explained Twycross.
In the next hour, Brooke thought the first splinching scared everyone into focusing, since the lesson went smoothly. As expected, Brooke didn't apparate, nor did anyone in the entire class, however they had another lesson next Saturday.
--
Everyone began to shuffle out of the Great Hall, hurrying to their friends to talk about how difficult apparating was and how close they were to getting it right. Draco headed for the door and Blaise, Pansy, Crabbe and Goyle enclosed behind him to follow out, with the latter two lagging a bit behind.
He knew they were mad at him for leaving them in the dark about his plans. They should be happy he included them at all. Most of it was all his work anyway and he was already gracious enough to promise them a small mention and credit if he succeeded.
The more Draco thought about it, the angrier he grew at his friends. How could they be complaining when the only one whose life is at stake is his own? Only until they reached the Slytherin dungeon did he realize Pansy was trying to talk to him.
"You're not even listening to me," nagged Pansy. "What's wrong?"
He looked at her and sat down on his usual dark green sofa chair. "Nothing."
Pansy sighed and perched herself on the arm of the chair. Draco slipped his hand out of her grasp and folded his arms instead. She looked clearly stung from his retraction, so much to sink down in an empty space on the couch next to Goyle.
"Nice making a scene in the beginning of the lesson," said Blaise.
"I didn't make the scene," said Draco scornfully. "Send your compliments to Crabbe for doing that."
"It wouldn't have happened if you'd tell us what your up to," Crabbe mumbled.
"Excuse me?" said Draco loudly, sitting up in his chair.
For a second Crabbe looked defeated, which was enough to satisfy Draco.
"I said we would appreciate if you let us know why we have to help you do whatever your doing," he said more clearly and more deferential.
"You have to help because I asked it of you," said Draco haughtily.
Draco knew it was a vague answer he wasn't looking for, but knew Crabbe wouldn't ask any further.
"You should've seen how Potter was stumbling around the entire hour," said Pansy minutes later. "I expected he would've splinched just like that HuffleBones did. I wonder what happens if you stayed that way."
"Eventually you lose a lot of blood and collapse until you die," said Blaise. "I had a cousin once- traveling around the deserts to find new perspectives on magical theory. Splinched right across the top of his neck." Blaise drew a line on his own with a finger. "He panicked so much that he couldn't put his concentration on doing anything about it. They found him one day, bodiless."
"That's sick, Blaise," said Pansy with her nose scrunched.
"It's true," he said simply.
"Doesn't matter if its true or not. It's sick," she repeated.
"What's sick about a dumb bloke that wasn't focused enough to Apparate ninety percent of his own body? If you ask me, he was going around the deserts because he had nothing else to do. He was talentless enough to pursue magical theory."
"He was on your father's side wasn't he?" asked Draco.
"Which one?" Blaise gave a dark hollow chuckle.
Draco smiled and shook his head. "Your mother's lucky."
"What do you mean?"
"Each one of her husbands…what is it six of them that died or disappeared?"
"She gets by," smirked Blaise.
"Yes, how is that new vacation home in France?" Pansy raised her eyebrows.
"Great," Blaise gave a toothy grin.
"Well, I'll see you guys later," Draco stood up.
"Where are you going?" asked Pansy.
"Around," said Draco walking up the stairs and out of the room.
He thought of going to the Room of Requirement again, but his feet thought to take a longer route for a change. There was something different about being alone. Being with his friends or even stationary in a common room made Draco feel unproductive and too self aware. His ears had to listen, his eyes had to focus and he needed to know when to jump into a conversation. Alone was something different. He could breathe and think clearly to himself. Draco wasn't exactly alone though. Students scattered all around the castle, the courtyard, the classrooms, and the dormitories leaving no place completely absent. Despite them all, he felt a certain air of solitude and was neither happy nor sad about it. The solitude was his.
It vanished, however, once Draco turned the corner to cross across the courtyard and spotted Brooke and Anthony on a ledge. They sat too close to each other. Anthony's hands laced around hers and the disfigured joining looked pale and frozen.
Brooke stopped in her sentence and caught his eye. She smiled from above her scarf. Anthony stared at him and sighed with his eyes, but Draco was surprised to see him nod unwillingly in his direction.
He returned their silent greeting stiffly and kept walking until he reached the top of the Astronomy Tower.
All day, the weather was gloomy. Around this time the sun would be setting and he would have had the perfect view of it descending into forest, shrinking slowly into the lake. Instead, grey clouds tucked the scene away.
Draco grasped the railing along the edge of the tower. He wanted to beat Anthony and punch him until he became part of the castle walls.
The air chilled him inside and out; it gave him a source to blame for his uneven breathing. Staring out at the lake, Draco saw for a moment, what Brooke saw. The lake wasn't only a lake. It was an escape.
Maybe he could tell her. Maybe she would understand. She didn't need to help him, she could just be there to listen.
He shook his head. He could barely take one simple conversation. Draco took a step away from the railing and slowly walked back into the castle.
--
His blonde head moved further away. The glittering snow had made it look…Brooke wanted to say heavenly but thought it was a strange way to describe him.
"He's often by himself now," she said.
"Guess his friends found out he's a jerk too," said Anthony.
"No, he's not a jerk," she tilted her head. "No doubt he's rough around the edges, but he has good intentions."
"Yeah," Anthony said slowly. "And how was being next to him during Apparation lessons?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Brooke narrowed her eyes.
"Nothing," he raised his eyebrows. "Why? Is it supposed to mean something?"
"No, it just sounded- oh, never mind," sighed Brooke. "I think I was too focused on trying to get into the hoop to notice anyone around me."
"Yeah. I saw you stumble onto Draco the first time everyone tried Apparating."
"Well, I didn't expect to actually get it right. I guess I wasn't determined enough," said Brooke, straying away from what seemed was on Anthony's mind. She pulled out her hands out of his, hoping he didn't notice how clammy they suddenly became.
They stayed outside only for a little bit before surrendering to the cold.
Deeper into the week, Brooke and Hermione sat in the library to work on their Transfiguration essays, despite Brooke's plea to take the rest of the day off and finish tomorrow. She had hoped the Hogsmeade trip would patch things over with Hermione and Ron, since they planned to go for his birthday, but its sudden cancellation brought that to ruin.
Brooke noticed a pattern in Hermione's behavior that whenever something disturbed her, she would bury herself in work more than her normal pace. And now they were working on an assignment due three days from now.
"I still don't see why we had to go to the library to write an essay on Animagi. It's the one thing I actually know," said Brooke.
"I know and that just means we don't need to do that much research," she replied, running a finger along the bookshelf.
"What more research do we need? I can tell you the training process, the techniques, registration and everything," said Brooke.
Then, a boy sped past between the rows of books until he spotted the two of them and hurried back.
"Hey, where've you been?" asked Harry. "I've been looking everywhere."
"Why? What's going on?" asked Hermione.
"Ron's been poisoned," said Harry.
Hermione's grip on the Advanced Human Transfiguration tightened before setting it down on the table.
"What do you mean he's been poisoned?" asked Brooke.
"He was eating these chocolates spiked with love potion, so I had to take him to Slughorn for an antidote," Harry explained. "Afterwards, Slughorn poured some of this mead and once Ron drank it, he collapsed and shook and Slughorn stood there in shock. If it hadn't been for the bezoar-"
Hermione made a small moaning noise from behind her lips. From a distance, Hermione would look calm- stiff, but calm. However, the worry, guilt and panic focused in on her wide brown eyes.
"Madam Pomfrey's not allowing anyone in yet," continued Harry.
"He's okay, though, right?" asked Brooke.
"Yeah, I think so. Come on," nodded Harry, walking out of the library and leading them to the Hospital Wing. Ginny was already lingering outside the Hospital Wing.
"Harry, what's going on?" she came up to them. "Dean said you wanted to tell me something happened to Ron."
Harry repeated the ordeal, they went into a full discussion as to how the poison reached Slughorn's mead in the first place. It was wholly agreed that Slughorn had not purposefully wanted to poison Ron, mainly because of how poorly thought out his plan would have been. It would have been illogical of him to choose to poison him right in front of Harry.
"But what if he accidentally switched the two glasses and the one Ron drank was for Harry," suggested Ginny after they walked into the Hospital Wing. The night fell an hour and a half ago and finally, Madam Pomfrey let them in.
"Why would Slughorn want to kill Harry? Just because he's been trying to get an unfavorable memory?" countered Brooke.
"If the poison was already in the mead and Slughorn wasn't the one who put it there, maybe it was meant to kill Slughorn," said Ginny.
"So, someone who completely hates Slughorn?"
"Malfoy," said Harry suddenly. "Do you think-"
"No," said Brooke bluntly.
"He hates Slughorn because he didn't invite him to his club," continued Harry without losing his enthusiasm.
"No," Brooke shook her head.
"He'd act irrationally. He's already tried killing someone once this year."
"No,"
"Or its part of his mission," said Harry, his face coming to a realization.
"No,"
"I remember Slughorn said the Death Eaters were constantly trying to recruit him. That's why he was hiding when Dumbledore and I first got there. Malfoy's a Death Eater and now he has to take Slughorn out for turning against them!"
"No…no…no, Harry!" said Brooke. "If that were true and your theory about Katie Bell being cursed, then why would Draco want to give Slughorn a necklace?"
"I don't know. All he had to is touch the thing and it would kill him. Katie could've just thrown it on him."
Brooke rolled her eyes.
"You said Slughorn was going to give the bottle as a gift," spoke up Hermione. She hadn't said a word since they were at the library and now sounded like she had a stuffy nose. "You said he was going to give it to Dumbledore. Katie said she was going to give the necklace to Dumbledore."
"Someone's got it out for Dumbledore," said Brooke.
"There's plenty of people out there who'd like to do him in," said Ginny.
"But this one doesn't really think out their plans. Both attempts weren't exactly ingenious and ended up failing miserably," pointed out Hermione.
"Malfoy," Harry said again.
Brooke wanted to cover his mouth with her hand. It had become his favorite word and Brooke was getting more and more irritated each time he blamed the poor boy.
"Well, we don't know that," said Hermione.
"Er-my-nee," croaked Ron.
They immediately fell silent and watched him.
"'ermione," he said again, more softly. He fidgeted around in the sheets for a little before beginning to snore again. Hermione stared at him in what Brooke thought looked like hopeful curiosity. She blinked as if waking from a light slumber and acted on a brave impulse to reach out for his wrist. Holding it comfortingly, Hermione let loose a shadow of a smile on her face.
The Hospital Wing doors burst open and Lavender Brown in pigtails that made her pouting face look more childish than anything, came rushing towards Ron's bed.
"Won Won! Won Won!" she gasped. "Why didn't anyone tell me- what is going on!?"
For a second Hermione examined her in amusement and confusion, before quickly letting go of Ron's wrist.
"What are you playing at?!" repeated Lavender more shrilly.
"What?" asked Hermione.
"You were holding his hand," she pointed at Hermione. "Oh, don't act like I didn't see it!"
"You're being very loud, you know. He needs rest," Hermione stood up from her chair.
"I know he needs rest," she mocked. "I don't need you to tell me about my Won Won. You're just trying to steal him from me!"
"You are way over your head," exclaimed Hermione.
"Oh, please! You haven't spoken in weeks and you think you can wedge yourself in just because he's interesting now?"
"Interesting? He's been poisoned, you daft bimbo!" retorted Hermione, amused at this frantic spectacle.
Expecting Lavender to burst into an argument, she gave a deadly look at Hermione before bumping her aside to stand right next to Ron.
"Won Won," Lavender whispered loudly. "Won Won, don't worry."
Ron began to stir again.
"Her…mione," he breathed.
Lavender made a single high pitched sobbing gasp. She looked up at Harry, Ginny and Brooke to check whether or not they had heard the exact same thing. Then, she hurried out of the room in the same rush as she came in, leaving an echo of cries.
Triumphant, Hermione sat back down in her chair and this time, more confidently grasped Ron's hand.
By now, Brooke was beaming, nearly bouncing up and down that not only were the two going to start talking again, but after so long, they might finally admit their feelings.
"I think we should leave these two alone," smirked Ginny at Harry and Brooke.
On their way out the door, Brooke kept glancing back and smiling at Hermione. Ginny said she was going to see Dean and left she and Harry.
"Do you think they'll get together after this?" asked Brooke excitedly as the two walked.
"Dunno," he said. "Maybe. It'll be a lot quieter without their bickering, though."
"Or a lot more bickering," she replied.
Harry then, held her back and put a finger to his lips. Someone was headed up the stairs, slowly but sulkily.
"Oh, Harry," she whispered, catching the familiar face of Draco.
"I'll meet you in the common room," he told her. Without a second thought, Brooke followed him in his silent stalk.
Draco walked all the way up to the seventh floor passing by the portrait of the Fat Lady and a familiar looking suit of armor. In order to keep themselves from being heard or seen, she and Harry strayed a little ways away from him and, suddenly lost track of Draco. They stood in front of a plain wall.
"Where'd he go?" asked Brooke, looking around and behind them.
"He's in the room of requirement," said Harry. "I can't believe I didn't think of it! That's where he's been going off to all the time."
"You've been spying on him?" Brooke raised her eyebrows.
"Only on the Marauder's Map," Harry waved it away, "but he's been completely missing on it sometimes, and I thought I just missed him out of the dots, but no. The room of requirement isn't even on the map."
"Why would he be in there all the time?"
"No idea," said Harry. "It could be anything."
"Yeah. He could be using it for something like a bathroom or quiet study room," suggested Brooke.
Harry turned to her. "You don't really think that, do you?"
"No, of course not. I just didn't want you to hop on another line of conclusions," said Brooke, crossing her arms.
"What if I'm right?"
"What if you're wrong?" said Brooke stubbornly as they headed back to the common room. "Even Dumbledore said there were people wreaking havoc and trying to get into Hogwarts. That's why there are Aurors around. You don't think they would've noticed Draco doing dark magic by now?"
"They didn't do a great job at preventing Katie being cursed or Ron being poisoned," he said.
They day tired them both out and their argument died with the fire in the common room. By the time Hermione quietly crawled through the portrait hole, Brooke and Harry were practically asleep in the armchairs.
The three stayed up only a few minutes longer discussing Hermione and Ron, even though Hermione denied any suggestion at them being together. She said he was still asleep the entire time since they left and claimed it was quite boring sitting there watching him.
Brooke held her tongue, although, it was difficult to not notice the pleasant air around Hermione, especially after her lingering bitterness when she and Ron were fighting.
A/N: I think I'm the one excited for the next chapter :) And I hope you liked this one. The song's partly in celebration of Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland coming out tomorrow, since one of the great songs on the soundtrack. Anyway, hopefully you notice some patterns and changes going on. And of course, keep reviewing! I really appreciate each one of them. :)
