Mr. Patterson, I commend you for your assumed tolerance for the red lines of doom underneath all your made-up teenage slang.

I, however, am not so tolerant.

Anyway, thanks to everyone to reviewed. Yeah, I know right, I'm updating on a Thursday. A Thursday! But this is because I'm going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter tonight (so excited, you have no idea. I'm dressed as Ginny :D) and then on Friday I'm in a car all day T_T No wifi. And I write more when I feel like I have a deadline. So enjoy :) And sorry for the slight filler-ness. I put some humor in, just for you.

And this chapter is hereby dedicated to flYegurl, who as of last chapter gave me the longest review I've ever had or seen. But you guys are all awesome. Enjoy.


"Max! Oh my God Max!"

I jolted awake, sitting up quickly and immediately feeling dizzy. I jumped to my feet, looking at the scene around me. Who screamed? Who called for me? What was up?

Nothing. Crap, I thought something important was happening, like Ari showed up or Fang started singing Lady Gaga. But only Nudge and Gazzy were up and at Iggy's sleeping side. God, Nudge had nearly screamed, how could he still be asleep? Angel and Total were rising from the fire and running toward me, while Fang was just getting up, like me. Ugh, I was tired.

Fang was still a little wuh-oh over his head, and the kids needed their rest, so I stayed up practically the whole night on watch, until Nudge made me sleep at four in the morning.

Wait, what was the problem here?

"Max!" Nudge squealed. "Fang! Oh, thank God you woke up!"

"Nudge, what's up?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "Beauty sleep. We need it sometimes, you know."

Angel grabbed my hand and led me stumbling over to the rest of them.

"Wha's goin' on?" Fang yawned, grabbing his head and then winced and practically dove into the backpack to down like seven Advil.

Gazzy grabbed Iggy's shoulders, and I shouted out at him. He was going to scare him into an episode, and then where would we be?

"Gazzy, what are you doing?"

"Iggy's getting too much beauty sleep!" Gazzy shouted. "He won't wake up!"

…What?

"What?" Fang squinted, voicing my thoughts. I ran to Iggy and knelt down beside him. Fang leaned against a tree with his arm outstretched and wrapped puffy hand over one eye and his forehead. "Max, wha's happening?"

"Iggy?" I demanded, disregarding Fang for the moment. I yanked his head to the side, pressing my thumb up against his jugular. Okay. There was a pulse.

"IGGY WAKE UP!" Gazzy cried impatiently, and I sent him a look.

"Yo, Igs." I spoke calmly into his ear, trying to stay in control. "We're here, yeah? So, wake up. Wakey-wakey. Igster. BACON."

…Damn, that didn't work.

Fang fell back onto his butt, sighing. "He's tired, guys. Look, just wait a few mo'e minutes an' then—"

Suddenly Iggy lurched in my arms, gasping and looking like he was going to upchuck. He bent forward, heaving air, before swinging his head around and scraping the ground in a panic with his fingernails. I grabbed one and placed it on my face, and Iggy seemed to realize that we were there. He sat back, breathing heavily, and I relaxed.

"Iggy!" Gazzy scolded, climbing beside his best bud. "You wouldn't wake up! You made us scared."

"Yeah I was on watch and Gazzy woke up so we were talking and then Angel and Total got up and Gazzy and her were playing catch with the box of tissues and it hit you in the face by accident and we thought for sure you would wake up but you didn't so we went to check and you wouldn't wake up and it was scary so I called for Max and—"

"I'm fine." Iggy replied harshly, struggling to stand up. "Who wants breakfast?"

We all stared at him as he walked to the other side of the clearing and snatched up the food backpack before plopping down on the ground again. Total, however, being the oblivious dog, just trotted over to Iggy and lay down beside him.

We all slowly started moving again. Angel went to help Iggy, and Nudge and Gazzy went to get some water, since Nudge dumped it all on Fang the previous day. I sat with Fang to re-wrap his head, and he just slumped down and curled as his fists as I touched his hair.

I pulled it a few times, just for fun.

"Hey, Iggy. I know you just had a little nightmare or something, but can we have bacon?"

Wait.

Hold UP a minute.

WHO in the flipping middle of a field in the state of Kansas in the whole GIANT United States of flipping America said that?

I swung my head toward Fang, but he just looked up at me with the same confusion. We looked toward Angel, but it was a guy's voice. Total was staring up at Iggy, and said blind bird-kid just nodded.

"Yeah. Bacon's cool." Iggy muttered.

Fang and I stared, flabbergasted, at the three, and Angel poked Total on the back. Total swung his head up at her, and then looked at us, and then back at her.

"What? I thought everyone knew."

Did Total just talk?

"Total." I said slowly. "Did you just…speak? You know, words?"

"Yeah." Total said, swinging his head between Angel and us again. "Whoa. Angel, you said you told them!"

"I said I would." Angel pointed out to her freaking dog. "That doesn't mean I did."

"But that game was weeks ago!"

"I think I'm dreaming." I stated, looking at Fang. "Pinch me. Slap me. Punch me. Wake me up, Fang."

"I'm as confused as you are." Fang replied dumbly, as we proceeded to stare at Angel and Total as they had a conversation. Dog and girl. Girl and dog.

WHAT THE FREAKING HELL?

I had to get that out, there. No, I'm still not over it.

WHAT THE FREAKING HELL? WHAT THE. FREAKING. HELL.

My mind was blown. For the first, real time in my life, my mind was completely blown.

I didn't particularly appreciate that.

"This is unreal." Fang muttered.

"Yeppers." Iggy replied, seeming to have perked up as soon as he smelled the wonderful fumes of bacon. "Just as unreal as flying kids, right Fang? Or mind-reading six-year-olds. Or blind gingers."

Iggy really knew how to see things differently.

…I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

"Hey, Iggy." Gazzy called as Nudge and him ran back to the clearing, each carrying a big bucket of water. Gazzy plopped himself down next to Iggy, while Nudge picked up Angel and placed her on her lap, causing Total to fall off of Angel.

"Oops, sorry Total." Nudge apologized, and Fang and I began to gape again.

"Yeah, yeah. Dogs come last." Total grumbled, and Nudge caught sight of our expressions.

"What, you didn't know he could talk?" Nudge asked. "He's been talking for like, ever!"

"Just not used to it." I mumbled.

"Iggy?" Gazzy asked.

"Yes, Sir Farts-a-Lot?"

"I've been thinking…if you're a ginger, does that mean you have no soul?"

Whoa.

That's two Max mind-blowings in twenty minutes. Let my brain recharge, people! It can't take much more!

"Before we question Iggy's mortality," I interrupted, standing up. "We have to take a vote."

"Do our votes count for once?" Iggy inquired.

I made a psh noise. "Of course not, this is a dictatorship. I just want to know what you guys think."

I paused for a minute, and had six curious faces looking back up at me. I sighed, and then put on the best fake-enthusiastic voice I could muster.

"Who wants to go to a doctor lady with cookies and hang out?" I asked quickly.

No one raised their hands, but just kept looking up with me. Well, 'cept Iggy. I'm pretty sure he was 'looking' over my head at the fascinating leaves. I looked down at Fang and motioned for him to encourage me, but he just smirked.

Traitor.

"Okay, this is why we aren't a democracy." I face palmed myself. "We're going to do some R&R at this lady's house that I know. She's a vet, she has a kid, and a dog."

"Dog?" Total asked, standing up. "What's the name?"

"Magnolia." I told him, and he started hopping around.

"A lady friend!" Total cheered. He faced the flock and wagged his tail enthusiastically. "Guys, I think this could be good for us."

"Good for you." Iggy muttered.

"Look." I ordered, finally taking note of Fang starting to pack the bags like the good boy he ought to be. "Iggy, no offense, but you look like crap."

"Oh, thanks." Iggy replied sarcastically. "Really helping my self-esteem there."

I sighed. "You're still hurt. Fang's got a concussion. I'm as tired as hell. I want cookies." I paused for a minute and looked at everyone's faces before lifting my pack up into my back. "So we're going. Get your lazy butts up."

"Arizona?" Fang asked. Gazzy shouldered his own pack, and I took Iggy's.

"Yep." I checked to see that everyone was up and ready. Gazzy supported Iggy's hip, and Nudge was there to help him take off. "I'll take point. It'll only take an hour or so."

We all ran and took off, flying high in the sky and touching the clouds like the cool kids we were. Nudge held Iggy's hand the whole way, and he looked happy to have a connection. I worried about his nightmares, but as soon as we got to Dr. Martinez, the sooner he'd get better. And then we could live our happy lives as mutant freaks.

Life. It's weird sometimes.

Deal with it.

I wanted cookies. Does that mean I'm going over to the dark side? No, Fang's just stupid. Did Iggy really have no soul? No, America's just stupid.

"Iggy do you have no soul I mean you're a ginger and if you're a ginger you have no soul but I believe that you have a soul because you're too nice and funny to not have a soul so if you have a soul does that mean you're not a real ginger oh my God if you're not a real ginger I'd be so upset because I love your hair but wait if you're not a real ginger then your hair isn't your natural hair color you must dye it do you dye your hair Iggy hair dye is so awesome I think we should dye Gazzy's hair blue and I love how the people in New York put this blond streak in my hair it's so pretty oh do you remember when we dyed Fang's hair blond when I was nine for that prank and he stole your iPod so you blew up his pants drawer and he didn't have any more jeans and he wouldn't come out of his room so I bought him some more that was really funny right Iggy?"

Poor dude.

"Yeah, Nudge." Iggy muttered, closing his eyes. I though he was going to say something stupid, like As funny as your face, but he just stayed like that, with his eyes closed.

Which meant he got a head biffing, courtesy of Max.

"Stay awake, there, Gingy." I teased, flying ahead again. "Remember what happened last time you fell asleep while flying? Not pretty. Save me the workout."

"Gingy?" Iggy asked, totally disregarding everything else I said. I swear that boy has selective hearing. "Next you're going to be calling me Blindy."

"Stop being so ignorant." I snapped.

"That doesn't even make any sense…" Fang muttered under his breath, but before I could respond we got assaulted by a Nudge verbal air attack.

"WAIT if Iggy is ignorant and his name is Iggy and ignorant starts with an ig, does that mean that that's why he's named Iggy because I don't really remember when we named Iggy only Angel and Gasman hey Fang why's your name Fang again I—"

"No!" I shouted simultaneously with Iggy, and we laughed. "Never again!"

"I knew it!" Fang scoffed. "I knew you guys were never going to let me live that down. Ever. One little incident…"

"Dude." I stated. "You were named after that little incident. Of course we're never going to let you live it down."

The next half an hour was filled with arguments, discussions, ramblings by none other than Nudge, and one whoopsie when Gazzy tried to fly upside down and had to have someone help him to get right side up again. I started to recognize the area below us, and figured it was high time we stopped flying. I looked back at Iggy, and gulped as I saw the greenish tinge his skin had taken. Just a little while longer…

"Hey, Max." Iggy spoke up. "Not that I don't love flying to the point of puking my guts out, but can we stop for a minute?"

Or we could stop now. Now sounded good.

"Yeah, we're almost there." I called. "Everyone, down by that forest. Nudge, lead Iggy down."

"Aye, aye, Captain." Nudge called, and we all dove down into the trees, skidding on the ground a bit with our feet. I helped catch Iggy, and he wrapped his arms around Fang's and my shoulders, if only for the convenient height factor.

"Almost there, Ig." I promised. "Then you can gorge on cookies and pass out."

"I don't think I can stomach anything." Iggy muttered, and Fang and I began to walk faster. "Wait, Max. If this lady has cookies, does that mean she's part of the dark side?"

WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?

"Shut up and walk, Iggy."

I leaned Iggy on Fang as we broke the forest and reached a clearing before a couple houses, one I knew pretty well. I looked back at my flock at the tree line, remembering how I did the same thing not a month or so ago. But that time high school lunatics had shot me.

Dangerous times.

"Okay, guys. Follow behind." I hissed, and I walked up to the house. Dr. Martinez's car was outside the garage, so that was a good sign. I took a deep breath and leaned forward to ring the doorbell. Angel ran up and held my hand, smiling at me.

She seems nice. Angel thought. How she already knew this, I had no idea. Did I like it? No. Did I mind? Yeah. Was I going to let it slide? Eh…

The door swung open, and the smiling face of Dr. Martinez appeared. Shock registered on her face, and I grimaced before giving her a tight-lipped smile.

"Max." Dr. M breathed, her eyes going from me to Angel to the rest of the flock to me again.

"Hey, Dr. M." I greeted. "We're a little busted up…can we come in?"

"O—of course, of course!" Dr. M said, opening the door wider. "Max, it's great to see you, Ella's going to be so excited. Is—is this your family?"

"Yeah." I replied. "My flock." The little kids ran in, and I helped Fang lead Iggy in. "We're all a little busted up, but Iggy's really hurt. We—we were wondering if you could help."

Dr. M gasped, coming up to Fang and Iggy. Even though she was several inches shorter, she took Iggy's shoulders and gave him a hug. "Oh, you poor thing." She gushed. "Everyone, come sit down, make yourselves at home. I'll get my things, help yourselves to the cookies. I made them for Ella, but I'm sure she won't mind."

"Hm." Iggy mused, sitting down carefully on a chair and grabbing a cookie. "Motherly."

"Score!" Gazzy cried, stuffing five in his mouth.

Great. Check one on Max's List of Things to Accomplish Before We Die. Iggy was going to be healed, I was going to eat as many cookies as I could, and we would be home free. Kind of.

"Dark side." Fang teased, even though he was eating as many cookies as the rest of us.

I scoffed, taking another cookie, sneering at Fang. "Dark Side my ass."

"Just saying."


Don't forget to review! OK, here's a question:

Fang or Iggy?

Aw, not really. We all know that Iggy can beat Fang's ass with his hands tied behind his back while carrying Gazzy on his back and eating bacon.