Fandom: Phantom of the Opera
Disclaimer: Please don't sue. I don't own *insert fandom name from above*... All I own is an overactive imagination.
Summary: A songfic chronicling Erik and Raoul's relationship. Angst.
Warning(s): slash, abusive relationship, OC char deaths (not important ones is what that means)
Pairing(s): Erik/Raoul
Word Count: 1,349
A/N: Fanmix still available for download (check out my profile or blogs). Hopefully. I might not have checked in a while.
Story note: This could've gone a different direction, but it didn't. :D And special chapter type… two parts I believe.
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Gallery Piece
By: Lucifer Rosemaunt
Chapter 11 – I only go all the way
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i only go all the way,
this time i'm not pretending,
i can't take the trash
your trashy friends are spreading about us,
they've got like V.D. personalities,
oh girl (boy) they're so messed up
Erik tried to make Raoul move from the doorway with a single glare. "You cannot stop me this time." Truthfully, very little could stop him from charging out and carrying out his hastily thought out plan to sneak into Christine's room and do what he should have done from the very beginning. Unfortunately, Raoul was high on that list of deterrents.
Raoul knew it, too.
"She didn't mean to," the younger man insisted. He had refused to let him leave five minutes ago when Erik had nearly bowled him over in his haste to go to the opera house, and he refused to let Erik go now that he was calmer. The thought of letting him do something Raoul was almost certain he would regret afterwards steeled his resolve.
"You mean to tell me" Erik laughed – it was a harsh sound, mostly bark and exhalation over actual laughter, "that upon learning of our relationship she 'did not mean to' say malicious things about the both of us." He quirked an eyebrow at Raoul before beginning to pace.
Biting his lower lip, Raoul shrugged helplessly, "She-"
"To Carlotta," he spat out her name like the curse he believed her to be, "who is the worst gossip in the theatre?"
Looking away, Raoul desperately tried to reason exactly what Christine might have been thinking, but just like all the other times he'd tried, he failed. Nothing that would absolve her of being malicious came to mind.
The rumours concerning Erik and him were quite pervasive, having seemingly sprung up just over night. In the span of simply two days, the whole of Paris had not only heard about their relationship but had formed an opinion of it. He was almost certain all of France knew about them, and while he tried to convince himself that it was the normal gossip he'd experienced before, it simply wasn't. They were personal attacks, insults blended with truth – too much truth to be passing speculation.
The facts had informed them as to whom the only source of such truth tinged lies could have come. Raoul had confronted Christine as soon as he'd figured it out, managing to beat Erik simply because he'd experienced the force of the rumours first. She had been lucky that no one bothered to pretend any sense of propriety and spoke rather loudly about it despite his presence.
In her defense, she had apologized profusely to him – albeit only after Raoul had cornered her and after she'd feigned ignorance those first few moments. More importantly though, no one truly believed the rumours, as damning and detailed as they were. Everyone who mattered took 'relationship' to mean he was merely being manipulated, a belief that in itself wasn't new. No true harm had been done, except perhaps how Raoul viewed her now and also perhaps her own safety if he failed to keep Erik away from her.
Erik stopped in front of him. The previous fury so clear in the curl of his lip and furrowed brow was replaced by a grave expression. "I will not stand for this."
That change was what made Raoul relax a fraction. He knew when Erik was calm he was often more dangerous, a subtle menace, than when he was blind with anger. Erik was more unpredictable in this state, but sometimes, sometimes Raoul could talk him out of his plans. Erik would at least pretend to listen. "Killing will only create more problems." And Raoul was a little sad that this was the only true effective argument he had. Self-preservation was quite low on Erik's list, but for him, for them, the opera ghost would at least take a moment's consideration.
"When rumours start about the ghost," Erik looked unmoved, "they expect retaliation. It would be odd if I do not."
Raoul hated when Erik had the presence of mind to make such valid points. "You've already denounced those rumours." He'd certainly been surprised to learn that the managers had received a note voicing the OG's displeasure at being connected with that, to paraphrase quite nicely, poor excuse of a patron.
Erik had heard of the rumours the first day they had spread – he was the opera ghost and it was without a doubt that the rumours had started in the opera house – and as was course, he had sent a note thinking it was simply another stagehand who had caught sight of them. It wasn't until the next day that he heard the precise content and unfortunately, Raoul had been there to stop him from reacting properly.
Erik brushed his thumb across the frown marring Raoul's expression. When Raoul turned away from him, Erik couldn't stop his jaw from clenching. He was definitely going to kill her. "Even now, you doubt me?"
Raoul turned his eyes downward but didn't try to shy away from Erik's touch. He was overreacting; he knew it. In fact, he was uncertain why those words had stung when he'd heard it. Erik loved him, but his love had always been different. It not only manifested itself differently, but it differed in depth and content. Erik loved with different rules; that much was obvious. Even after all this time, Raoul still wished he knew what those rules were.
"Do you not know me even now?" Erik asked, and Raoul felt like apologizing for the fear and doubt that had long ago nestled within him when Erik had first confessed in the cemetery, that had coiled tightly around his heart when Erik had kissed Christine, and whose grip lessened only by mere fractions with each month and year that passed with Erik's continued fidelity. It had reached a point where Raoul was almost certain he no longer worried about Erik leaving him, but every now and then, it would creep up on him, test his confidence in their mutual affection. And, he hated himself for that, but he wouldn't deny that he still worried, that he still hurt.
Raoul's silence wasn't new, but that only made the sting worse. Erik grabbed his arms, holding him in place. It had the intended effect of forcing Raoul to look up at him. "You may think some part of me is reserved for her, has kept a piece of the past, or that I might be waiting for anyone else. Such a thing is impossible." Erik's voice dropped. "It had been decided long before I'd even known I'd wanted you. I love you. There's not a single part of me that knows how to do otherwise."
Raoul exhaled sharply. It was declarations like that that made him wonder how he could possibly doubt Erik. How could he believe that type of passion could be false? The fact was that Raoul didn't believe it was false. He could understand his own emotions almost as well as he could predict Erik's plans, which wasn't very much.
He couldn't help but protest weakly, "But… Christine."
Erik released him, and Raoul almost felt bereft of the firm anchor to the moment, to his declaration of love. Erik didn't move away though, simply ran a hand over his face in annoyance. "I should not have let you visit her so often. She has infected you with her own insecurities."
"You haven't helped very much," Raoul retorted and immediately wished he hadn't given into the knee-jerk reaction.
Scowling, Erik took a steadying breath. It was an old enough argument, a deep enough hurt that it could not be so easily forgotten even though it was at that moment that Erik had confirmed Raoul's devotion and Raoul had realized the depth of Erik's feelings towards him. It was an argument that would never find a resolution, no matter how much he tried. Yet, try he continued to do.
"I have never betrayed you."
Raoul didn't have the energy to start that argument up again. Instead, he returned to the topic at hand. "She truly didn't mean to."
Erik scrutinized him for a moment, wondering if Raoul truly believed his statement. Sighing, he replied, "She is not as kind as you believe."
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End chapter 11
A/N: Don't forget to R/R (Read and Review)!
Chapter Review: Argument to be continued in the next chapter.
