Last full chapter! Just an epilogue left. This has probably been my favorite story to write, and it makes me so happy that so many of you have enjoyed reading it as much as I have loved writing it.
Kensi couldn't think of a time when she'd seen someone, human or otherwise, sitting in a pair of handcuffs. Very rarely were true arrests made anymore, with a trial and publicity like there used to be. Everything she knew about the Judicial Branch of the US, she didn't learn from experience. High school government classes, FLETC, and classic novels like To Kill a Mockingbird gave her more insight into the way the system was supposed to work than anything she might have learned on the job. Trials were always closed now. In most cases, deadly force was considered to be justified. She went on a date with a lawyer once but had never even stepped foot into a courtroom.
As she perched uncomfortably on a curb on Traction Avenue, she stared at a monster she knew would never know the benefit of the American justice system. And for once, she was happy about it. Deeks, Sam, and Callen had the rogue Companion known as The Chameleon surrounded, waiting for his judge, jury, and executioner to show up. The two NCCS agents and her own Companion kept casting glances her way as she sat in quiet contemplation. Only Deeks knew what she was actually thinking about.
It hurt to breathe. It hurt to smile. It hurt to think. But she was alive, when for the third time in two weeks she shouldn't have been. The first two times, Deeks saved her. This time, she returned the favor. He'd been able to speak to her, and she to him, without ever using words or even touching each other. Just being in close proximity had been enough for them to take advantage of their superhuman connection. It was terrifying and thrilling at the same time, like Deeks was awakening some spirit that existed within her all this time without her knowledge. A spirit that wouldn't stop fighting until there was nothing left to fight for.
Unfortunately, that spirit must have gone back into hibernation again. All she wanted to do now was crawl into her bed, a bed that for the past two days wasn't just hers anymore. That was a problem she didn't even care about right now.
A sleek black sedan parked right beside her, obstructing her view of everyone else. Owen Granger slid out of the driver's seat and approached her, taking her by surprise. He extended his hand, pulling her to her feet. "Ms. Blye."
"Granger," she returned, wincing in pain as she straightened her back. "Took you long enough."
"Deeks has been a bad influence on you," he remarked with a tight smile. "You did a good job, today. Thank you."
Kensi nodded numbly, shocked that this crotchety old man not only came to her first, but came to thank her. Maybe there was more depth to him than she had originally thought. When she didn't respond, he grunted and crossed the street towards the rest of the crowd. That was the Granger she remembered.
She walked gingerly across the street behind him, not wanting to be left out of the showdown that would undoubtedly occur between the two arch-enemies. By now The Chameleon had let his given face fade back into place and, thank God, no longer looked like Deeks. He looked like…nobody, really. Nothing remarkable about his features at all, like someone you would pass by on the streets and never think twice about. She was thankful for the change and tried to burn the image of that face in her mind to replace the one of her Companion. While she knew that the real Deeks would not hurt her, it was still a disturbing mental image to hold on to - being taunted and shot by someone with whom you shared a home/bed.
As Granger stood before his former Companion, there were no sparks or screams or blows. Sam pulled him to his feet so they could see eye to crazy fucking eye, and Deeks moved to her side. His fingers brushed against her back and she could feel him silently tugging her towards him, like he didn't want her to see the interaction about to take place. She resisted him. Curiosity and the need for closure kept her feet planted to the street.
"Marcel," Granger simply said.
The Chameleon smiled. "Owen."
Granger placed a hand on his shoulder, guiding him towards the black car. "I'm going to enjoy watching you die."
The smile remained on Marcel's face. "Then so will I."
"Your nurse doesn't like me."
Kensi squirmed on the examination table. "Why do you say that?"
"Maybe because this is the second time this week I've brought you to the ER?" Deeks sighed. "Also, a social worker tried to corner me and I had to flash my nifty new NCCS badge and explain what you do for a living to get her to back off. I sent her to room 228. I have a feeling that family could use her services more than you can."
"Aw, using your powers for good," she said with a smile. "How human of you."
He frowned. "Humans hurt each other. With the rare exception, like today, Companions help people. You should say how Companion of me, or how cyborg of me."
"Fine."
"How superhuman of me."
"You've made your point," she snapped. "How long does it take to get fucking x-ray results?"
"You're lucky you even have a place to sit while you wait." Deeks groaned. "Shit."
"What now?"
"You'll see."
Kensi waited patiently, breathing slowly. Some ibuprofen or something would be great about now, but that would require being seen by medical personnel for more than two seconds at a time. A tiny shadow formed on her privacy curtain, and a bobbed haircut poked around cautiously. "Ah, good. I found you."
As Hetty walked past him, Deeks gave Kensi a pointed look. See what I mean, he was saying with his eyes. She scowled, willing him to behave himself. "Hetty. What are you doing here?"
She tilted her head. "One of my employees is in the hospital. Where else should I be?"
"She's not so much in the hospital as at the hospital," Deeks corrected. "And going home as soon as they determine how severe her broken rib is."
Kensi rolled her eyes. "You're not a doctor, Deeks."
"You don't know that," he replied with a smile.
Hetty looked back and forth between them. "Mr. Deeks, would you mind giving us a moment?"
"I do mind, actually," he protested. "The last time you split us up, she got kidnapped and almost died. Did you forget already? It was just this morning."
Kensi stifled a laugh at the perturbed look on Hetty's face. The proud woman wasn't used to being talked down to. "I will personally filet anyone who lays a finger on her," Hetty reassured him.
Deeks looked unconvinced but pushed himself out of his plastic chair. "Alright."
"You know he'll still know what we're talking about, right?"
Hetty shook her head. "He respects your privacy, I believe. Does he not?"
"He does."
"How are you, Kensi?" Hetty placed a wrinkled hand on hers. "Not physically, I can see that. This has been a challenging few weeks for you. I worry about your ability to manage all of this."
"I manage just fine." Kensi wrapped an arm around her waist. "Deeks helps. He can be a pain in the ass, but I think that maybe he keeps me on even ground somehow. I can't really explain it yet. I'm still trying to figure it out myself."
"So this is something you would like to continue, then?"
Kensi frowned. "What do you mean? Two weeks ago I didn't have a choice in the matter and now all of a sudden, I do?"
"Two weeks ago, we had a serial killer on the loose and Deeks had one job to do - stop him." Hetty attempted to soften her face. "Which he did. You did. He had requested retirement before this assignment."
"I know, but that's not what he wants anymore," she argued. "You have a Companion, you know how this works. They don't just hop from job to job, they bond to us. They need us."
Hetty nodded. "I understand that. But you need to know that Deeks fulfilled his mission, and Granger would feel obligated to grant him this request if that's what he still wishes to do. Not saying it will happen, I just want you to prepare yourself in case it does."
Kensi's heart sank. That empty feeling, the one she remembered Deeks having, filled her heart and hurt her soul. That wasn't what he wanted anymore, she told herself. She knew him now. He had saved her, and now she had saved him. They'd grown beyond the job and into some sort of indescribable thing. It can't be what he wants. If it was, then maybe she didn't know him at all.
"You're drooling."
Kensi blinked and wiped her mouth, focusing her blurry vision on the clock in her new car. 1:47 A.M. She'd dozed off on the way home from the hospital. Drugs were bad. Hospitals were really bad and took way, way, way too long. If Sam and Callen hadn't stopped by with a big ass bowl of pasta, she would have probably starved to death waiting to be released.
"Earth to Kensi," Deeks spoke to her again. She turned to stare at him with wide eyes. He was smiling like he wasn't about to tell her that this would be their last day working and eating and bickering together. "You're kinda hard for me to figure out right now. How much oxycodone did they give you?"
Fumbling in her lap, she found her bottle of pills and squinted at the label. "Um. Enough. Do I have to take these? I think they make me loopy. And drool."
Even in the dark she could see his brows furrow. "I already told you about the drooling. And yes, you need to take them. Shallow breathing from the pain could lead to pneumonia, so don't be stubborn about it. Come on, let's get you to bed."
"I need a shower."
"Then let's get you a shower first."
Fuck these pills, they were making her emotional. "I need you to not die, too. Okay? I'm going to be selfish and say you can't come in and turn everything in my life upside down and then just go gas yourself."
"Maybe we should risk the pneumonia. What in the actual fuck are you talking about?"
She closed her eyes and tried to open her cloudy mind so she could make some damn sense. A deep breath helped some, even though her medicine didn't make the pain go away completely. "Hetty...said Granger..."
"Okay." Deeks placed a hand over hers and the warm strength from it immediately started calming her. "Can we talk about this inside? I really have to pee and you have drool crusted on your face."
She snorted. "I think you pee more than I do." Deeks opened the driver's door and walked to her side, unbuckling her seatbelt and helping her out of the car. "Oh, you're such a gentleman," she slurred.
"Still not human, Kensi," he reminded her as she leaned into him for support.
"I know." She wrapped an arm around his waist. "You're so hard."
"You say that like it's a bad thing. If I actually were a human it'd probably make my night to have you purring that in my ear." Deeks unlocked the door and flipped the lights on, locking it again behind him and setting her little dragon alarm as usual.
She kept her head on his shoulder, letting him guide her through her home. We need a second bathroom, she felt him think, and her eyes shot open wide. "Did you just think that we need another bathroom?"
"You don't agree? I mean, we both need to shower and pee so at this rate it'll be another twenty minutes before bed. Another bathroom would be nice right about now. A bigger place overall would be nice, actually. This hole clearly isn't meant for two people."
"You say we like this isn't temporary," she murmured. They were in the bathroom now, and she had to stand on her own again so he could turn the hot water on. The way he looked at her reinforced her original idea that their arrangement was anything but temporary.
Deeks unzipped her hoodie and tossed it into the hamper. "Are you still threatening to take me back for a new and improved model?"
"I still have that option?" Kensi joked weakly.
"No, you don't." He untangled her ponytail from the band keeping it all together, sending a mess of curls cascading down her back. "I'm a simple creature who does what I'm told to do. You're mine, and I'm yours now. I don't care what Hetty or Granger or Pope Nicholas VII said to you. You're not getting rid of me that easily."
"I think you're a lot more complex than you give yourself credit for," she said with a relieved smile. That she was panicking so much over possibly losing someone (something?) she'd known for less than a month still surprised her, but everything was a surprise to her now. She meant what she'd said about him turning her world upside down. It was scary, but she didn't think she wanted to be right side up again. "So what now?"
"Now we go on like normal." He felt the water temperature and switched the shower on. "Go to work, stop bad guys, save the country from death and destruction. Same as usual."
"This is not normal."
"Normal is relative," he responded. "Normal is what you make it."
Maybe she could get used to normal meaning sharing a living space with someone else, someone who most likely would be more devoted to her than any real human would ever be. And if he was that committed to her, she owed it to him to do the same. "Okay. New normal, starting now."
"Okay."
Kensi kicked her boots and socks off, and reached for the button of her pants before reconsidering stripping in front of Deeks. "Um."
He tilted his head, and yeah, he knew what she was thinking. "Well, this bonding session has been great, but if you don't hurry up and get in the shower I'm going to have to pee right in front of you."
"Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm moving in super slow motion, so you might just wanna go piss on a bush outside. I'm sure Ms. Robinson will enjoy the middle of the night peep show." She curled up the hem of her shirt and winced. This was going to be difficult and possibly awkward. "Um, don't take this the wrong way, but I need you to help take my shirt off."
"Don't take this the wrong way," he said, gently easing her tee shirt over her head and down her arms. "But I've seen plenty of boobs before."
Of course he had. Companion by day, pimp by night. At least she could count on him to lighten the mood. "Don't take this the wrong way, but get the fuck out."
Enjoy the maid, Hetty had said to her the first day she brought Deeks home. Kensi didn't realize at the time how true of a statement that would be. He cooked, he cleaned, did laundry, took out the trash, and apparently even snuck a camisole and pajama shorts into the bathroom for her to wear after her shower. It made her feel like her treatment of him after he'd been shot was a little lacking in comparison. Like, she could have at least made him breakfast or something as a way of saying "thank you for saving my life...again." She could be a real shithead sometimes.
Kensi sat on her bed and attempted to pull her hair back, waiting for the inevitable bed sharing conversation to take place. If she was being honest with herself, which this oxycodone was pretty good at forcing her to do, she didn't mind sharing a bed with Deeks. It was oddly comforting, and she hadn't had a single nightmare the last two nights.
There were certain things about his non-human status that were nice. For example, what heterosexual man would be fine sharing a bed platonically with her? Not to pat herself on the back or anything, but she was hot. Nice face, good body, and only a little scary. So, maybe the reason Deeks was easy for her to live with was because he wasn't human. Or maybe he was gay. Did cyborgs even have sexual preferences, or true gender identification?
"I swear, all you humans think about is sex," Deeks muttered, walking in with flannel pants and a towel over his head.
"That is not true!" Kensi frowned, giving up on her hair. "I was thinking about the opposite of sex. The lack of sex, if you will."
"You just had a near death experience, and you're trying to figure out if cyborgs have sexual identities. You can blame that on your drugs, but that won't work with me." He fluffed his hair with the towel, leaving it a hot mess of blond spikes, before hanging his towel on a door hook that definitely wasn't there before he moved in. "Also, you think about sex about 10 times a day."
"Well, that's about 90 times less than most other people."
"Fair enough." Deeks turned the lights off and sat on the bed with her. "You're still hurting."
"Uncomfortable is more like it," she said with a yawn, grabbing her jaw. "Yeah, like that. Not good."
Deeks eyed her and sighed, twisting his lips. "Come here. But don't make it weird."
Weird, why would she make it weird? Oh yeah, because she was wonderfully awkward and inappropriate. She pointed to his bare chest and crazy hair. "You going to bed like that?"
"Didn't I just tell you to not make it weird?" Crawling up the bed, he pulled the covers back and climbed in. His eyes were basically telling her to quit looking at him like a dumbass and let him try to help her. "Are you going to make me say it?"
"No," she sighed. If anyone had told her a year ago that she'd wind up snuggling with a damn robot, she would have had them shipped off to one of those special homes in Wyoming where free thinkers were allowed to be with their own kind. Maybe she needed to take that trip herself, because here she was, curling into the nook between his arm and chest. It was warm, just like he always was, and smelled really nice and clean.
"Did you just sniff me?"
"No," she lied. "What kind of freak do you think I am?"
"I'm not answering that question." Deeks closed his eyes, and she did the same. Sneaking his arm under her, he pulled her up flush against his side. That took most of the weight and pressure off of her sore rib, which was an immediate relief. Of course, there were the automatic weird sensations that coursed through her body when her natural skin rested against his synthetic. The odd combination of thoughts and feelings that filled her mind and confused her senses was overwhelming this time. This was the most skin to skin contact they'd managed to have so far.
Kensi tried to block his thoughts out, just focusing on breathing and the strange way his skin was baby soft but felt as hard as metal underneath. Almost like an exoskeleton, but not. And he had no body hair, which she had zero complaints about at all. Her physiological pondering distracted her enough to clear the jumble of his and her thoughts and just allowed her to relax. The discomfort was starting to subside, and she realized his breathing now matched hers perfectly. It was as if he was absorbing her pain. She took a deep breath, and he did the same. It didn't hurt anymore. That was exactly what he was doing.
"Does it hurt you?" Kensi asked quietly.
Deeks shrugged his free shoulder. "Some. You're not hurting that much so it's not too bad."
"You've had worse, I'm guessing?"
"Much. Jess had endometriosis, actually, and sometimes would hurt so badly that she could barely go to work. I did something similar to this for her at times." Though her eyes were still closed, she could feel him smile. "I don't know how girls do it. Dave used to say something like, never trust anything that bleeds for five days straight and doesn't die."
"Rather caveman-like of him." This time when he mentioned Jess, she didn't feel sad and empty. He was healing, and that made her happy.
"No shit."
Kensi took a deep breath and snuggled closer, resting her arm across his waist. Her thumb slid into a dip in his skin, probably one of his many bullet wounds. Non-human, she reminded herself. Non-human that can resist bullets and absorb pain and read minds, one who was made to do all of those things for everybody but himself. "The Chameleon said you were made to love and protect."
"I suppose that's true."
"And you loved her?" Kensi asked. "Because she loved you first?"
He tensed, so she tensed. She relaxed, so he relaxed. "Yes. But it wasn't like fantasy engagement or naming imaginary tiny mutant assassins love. It's just different."
She was about to cross an imaginary line, but really, this was like pillow talk without the sex so what the hell. "But you made love to her, too, right?"
"You've officially passed your sex thought quota for the day."
"Deeks." Her voice was soft yet firm. "I'm trying to understood you and your emotions and where the hell they even come from. Help me out a little here."
She found her breathing becoming a little irregular, like he stopped for a second and she was trying to compensate. What the fuck kind of weird symbiosis had she gotten herself into here?
"Symbiosis, that's a good description," he said as her breathing evened back out again. He was back on track with her and back in her head again. "For what it was like, I mean. Because obviously humans and Companions are different organisms. We look and sometimes act the same, but you can exist on your own. Whereas for us, you become our entire world. So much so that some memories that I thought I had are lost, because they weren't even my own. Very, very good memories."
Kensi took that answer as a yes. "So what was it like? Must be kinda tricky, cause if you're having an off night in the sack you can read their mind and know just how bad you are. Or maybe, it's actually helpful cause then you like...you know when you're doing it right."
Deeks laughed. That feeling was nice. "You are without a doubt the classiest chick I've ever shared a bed with. Are you trying to get in my pants?"
Now it was her turn to laugh, but it was more painful than when he did it. "Listening to you talk, if I wanted to, you wouldn't have much of a choice. Slow your roll, loverboy. Besides, you're obviously still damaged. No offense."
"I'm getting better everyday." Thanks to you, he didn't say. "But I appreciate your ability to keep your hands off of my magical penis. When you're awake anyway."
"All of a sudden it's magical? I thought it was no big deal."
"It's easier to make jokes," he said, but she already knew that. Humor as a defense mechanism, one of his many human qualities. "The truth is, sex is very intense for me. I didn't enjoy it with strangers. It is too intimate to literally, in every way possible, be inside someone that you don't really care about."
Funny, Kensi never thought about it that way. She found sex with strangers to be easier because she could detach herself from any feelings and just enjoy it for what it was. Though she did remember what it was like to be with someone she loved, to sometimes be so overwhelmed that she'd have to wipe tears from her eyes when it was over. That had been a long time ago, a very long time ago. Before NCCS or partners or Companions, a completely different life from the one everyone close to her knew about now. "I loved someone once, too," she offered. "The fantasy engagement, baby name kind of love. But I was young and naive and he was deep and troubled. It was destined to fail, and it did."
"I'm sorry." He rubbed his thumb along her arm, and she felt his words in her gut.
"I'm sorry that you lost a part of yourself," she said, twisting her lips. "And I'm sorry that most likely it will happen to you again."
"You don't know that," he tried to play it off like it wasn't true and didn't hurt like hell. "LA could get hit with an atomic bomb tomorrow. Pretty sure I can't survive that."
"Can we not say tomorrow? It's been a hell of a week already. How about next year?"
"Okay, fine, next year."
"Besides," she smirked. "I need to see these infamous cock pushups before I die. Nuclear bombs will have to wait."
"Really? Your count is up to twelve now, by the way."
"What can I say?" Kensi sighed sleepily. "I am human, after all."
"Yes, yes you are. Very much so." He chuckled, the soft laughter in his chest echoing in her ear. "You ready to roll over now?"
Not really. This was comforting and peaceful, feelings she could certainly get used to. "Just a little while longer."
"That's cool."
Kensi let the steady thump of his perfectly rhythmic heartbeat lull her to sleep while a soft kiss to the crown of her head guaranteed her sleep would be filled with sweet dreams and happy memories instead of any of the pain she'd encountered. Her new normal, maybe.
A/N: I know a lot of people were really hoping for some cyborg lovin (and hell, I still want it too), but it didn't feel right for me with these two yet. Hopefully I can keep myself motivated to keep writing in this universe because I'd love to eventually write the total insanity that would be their type of sexual relationship. It's blowing my mind just thinking about it. ;)
