Chapter Eleven
"Hello?"
"Sammy, hey."
"Dean. How's … how's it going?"
Dean shook his head, lifting a hand to rub at the back of his neck.
"Not too good, little brother. That's kind of why I'm calling. I know you and Peyton were coming by today, but I … I don't think that's a good idea."
"Is she all right?"
Dean blinked. He shook his head, letting out a sigh.
"… Can you get Peyton to just wait and come over tomorrow?"
"Dean, she really wants to see Mel."
"I know she does. But … it's kind of overwhelming right now."
"So you can stay, but it will be too 'overwhelming' for her to see Peyton?"
Dean closed his eyes.
"Just a few minutes ago, I told her that her name was Melinda. You know what happened? She took off running. Running, Sam. You really want to spring the life story on her right now? Hell, maybe then she'll run all the way back to California."
Sam was quiet, and Dean shook his head, tossing his cigarette onto the ground.
"We knew this was going to be difficult."
"Yeah, I know. Thanks for the reminder, Dr. Phil."
Sam blew out a breath.
"I'll … I'll talk to Peyton."
"Tell her I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault, Dean. We'll go … check out New York. It'll be fine."
Dean nodded, and Sam let out a sigh.
"I'm sorry, Dean. Don't … don't give up on her, all right?"
Dean closed his eyes, a soft, sad smile on his face.
"I can't do that, Sammy. Long as it takes, I'm never going to give up on her."
Meredith—no. Melinda sat on the edge of her bed, tears dripping down her face. She shook her head, looking down at her hands, until the tears blurred her vision too much and she closed her eyes.
She hadn't meant to run out of the kitchen. She didn't even know why she had. It's not like he told her something she hadn't been ready for. This was a good thing! She knew her name, her real name that she'd been given when she was born, not the one Alex gave to her.
But instead of smiling, she'd pushed him aside, running out of the kitchen and up the stairs, closing the door behind her and sitting hard on the edge of the bed. She was freezing, entire body trembling as she hung her head, letting out quiet, gasping sobs.
There was a quiet knock at the door, but she couldn't make herself get up to answer it. The door opened anyway, and quiet footsteps barely made a sound on the floor. The bed creaked as someone sat down, and Melinda let out a sob before she leaned over, burying her face in Alex's sweater.
"Shh. It's okay."
She shook her head, leaning back up, pushing a hand through her hair.
"I don't know … why I ran. I—I'm not …"
She shook her head again, and Alex put his arm around her, gently kissing her temple.
"It's all right. This is … there's no right way to deal with this. He doesn't know what to say or how to say it to you, and you don't know how to process it. It's okay, Mer—Melinda."
That made the tears come, and she moved away from him, putting her head in her hands. Alex dragged a hand down his face, and he sighed. He gently rubbed her back, then spoke softly.
"Do you want me to go get him?"
She nodded, and Alex stood up. She listened to him leave the room, and a few minutes later, a new set of footsteps sounded. Heavy-soled boots made their way around the bed, until she saw those slightly bowed legs in front of her. She lifted her head, and he smiled softly, kneeling down until they were face-to-face.
She didn't say anything, and he didn't either. They just looked at each other, a soft smile on his face, until he lifted a hand, gently brushing her hair from her forehead. She flinched at the first touch, at the sudden warmth that shot through her, but closed her eyes, letting out a relieved sigh when he cupped her cheek in his warm hand. She leaned into the touch, and he leaned forward, gently pressing his lips to her forehead.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
She sucked in a breath when he moved to rest his forehead against hers, taking both of her hands in his. Neither of them spoke for a moment, until his low, deep voice rumbled through the silence.
"There's a lot you need to know, but you don't have to hear it until you're ready. I'm here as long as you'll let me be. We've got time. If it's hard for you to process something, it's okay. We'll figure it out somehow."
She sniffled, but whispered softly.
"Okay."
"Just do me a favor."
She blinked when he moved back, cupping her face in his hand again.
"Don't run away from me anymore, okay?"
She stared into those green eyes, a soft smile coming to her face. She nodded, and he smiled back at her.
"Okay."
He stood up, groaning softly, and she smiled, pulling her legs up onto the bed and sitting Indian-style. She sniffled again, and he stretched his arms out. He walked to the window, pulling back the heavy curtain and glancing out at the city. Melinda watched him, a soft smile on her face, until she quietly cleared her throat.
"So … what else do you want to tell me?"
He looked down, smiling at the windowsill, then lifted his head.
"Nothing."
She blinked, tilting her head.
"'Nothing'?"
He glanced over his shoulder, pursing his lips and shaking his head.
"Nothing today. If you remember something, we'll talk about it. Otherwise…"
"You can't just not tell me anything when I have a fit or whatever I did earlier."
He let go of the curtain, walking back over and sitting down on the bed beside her. He turned his hand palm-up on his thigh, and she reached over, lacing her fingers between his. He smiled, giving her hand a squeeze.
"I'm not trying to keep anything from you. I just … I don't know how to do this. I don't know what to just tell you, what to ease you into knowing. I don't want you to run, but I don't want you to resent me, either."
She nodded slowly, letting out a breath.
"It's sticky."
Dean laughed.
"It's very sticky. And anytime you need a break, you just say so, and I'll back off."
She nodded, not realizing the way she gripped his hand tighter once he said that. He blinked, turning to look at her. Their eyes held, and she smiled, almost involuntarily. She took in a breath, scooting just a little closer to him, slowly, gingerly resting her head on his shoulder. They both closed their eyes when she leaned against him, and Dean swallowed, fighting back tears. He let out a quiet laugh.
"You know …"
She blinked her eyes open.
"It is a holiday."
She moved her head to look at him, wrinkling her nose when his beard tickled her forehead. She sucked in a breath when she realized what he was talking about.
"It's New Year's Eve!"
"It is."
He laughed, squeezing her hand again, and she turned her body to fit beside him. Dean let go of her hand, smiling at the little noise of discomfort she gave, wrapping his arm around her and lying back on the bed. Melinda gave a little murmur at that, rolling onto her side and molding her body into his side. He wrapped her up as best he could, resting his chin atop her head.
"Alex told me about this place. Said he had a little surprise for you, and he wants me to take you to it tonight."
"You want to spend your New Year's Eve with me?"
Every year for the rest of my life—Dean swallowed the words before they could escape his lips, and he nodded.
"If you'll have me."
Melinda yawned, nodding her head.
"I think I'd like that."
Melinda sat at the vanity in her room, brushing blush onto her cheeks. A knock sounded at the door, a second before fiery red hair poked in. Melinda laughed.
"Come in, Charlie."
Charlie stepped in, closing the door behind her with her foot, since her hands were currently occupied with a long garment bag.
"What's in the bag?"
Charlie smiled widely.
"I'm so glad you asked. It's New Year's Eve! This is your present from Alex."
"We don't give presents for New Year's Eve."
"Well, Alex didn't get that memo. Open it!"
Melinda stood up, crossing her arms over her chest as she walked over to stand beside Charlie.
"It's a dress, isn't it?"
"Don't guess! Just open it."
Melinda rolled her eyes, bumping Charlie with her hip before she walked to the bed. She unzipped the bag, pushing the sides apart, lifting a hand to her chest.
"Oh my god."
"That thing is gorgeous!"
Melinda and Charlie exchanged an open-mouthed look, and Melinda shook her head.
"There's no way …"
"Oh, come on. He's Alex Donaldson. Of course there's a way."
Melinda shook her head, and Charlie stepped up beside her, putting her arm around her shoulders.
"Come on. Let me help you put it on."
Dean stood at the bottom of the stairs, feeling like a nervous kid waiting for his prom date. He hadn't even gone to his prom. He'd dropped out before prom, thank God. And it's not like John would have let him spring for a tux. Dean had scraped and saved for Sam to get one, even if the little nerd hadn't enjoyed his prom. At least, that's what he told Dean, but Dean knew better.
He adjusted the cuffs of his jacket, still amazed that Alex had managed to get him a tux for the night. But then again, as that little Charlie girl had told him, Alex was Alex Donaldson, and things just happened for him.
He lifted his head at the clearing of a throat, to see the little redhead standing at the top of the stairs. Charlie smiled at him, leaning over the railing.
"Wait until you get a load of this."
Dean raised an eyebrow, a smile on his face.
Until Melinda stepped up beside Charlie.
The breath caught in his throat as the smile slid from his face. Dean just stared, captivated, mesmerized by the beauty before him. She was looking down, brushing at some invisible something on the skirt of the gorgeous dress that fit her like a second skin. Dean wasn't sure what color the dress was. He thought gold, but when she turned, the light made the dress seem rose-colored.
She lifted her head, and a soft smile crossed her face when she saw him. She gripped the bannister with one hand, lifting her skirt just a bit with her other hand, and made her way down the stairs. Dean saw a flash of a golden heel, and almost on instinct, he held out his hand when she reached the last step. She smiled, laying her hand in his and stood beside him.
"You look nice."
Dean glanced down, then shook his head.
"You look … My god, Mel."
She felt her cheeks grow warm, and Dean smiled, leaning forward and softly laying his lips against her cheek. Melinda's eyes drifted closed, and he leaned back, smiling when she blinked her eyes open to see him again.
"I'm just saying, is it really New Year's Eve if we don't watch Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve? I think not. It's traditi—whoa."
Dean and Melinda glanced back to see Alex standing in the doorway to the kitchen, eyes wide and mouth open. There was a group of kids behind him, all wearing similar shocked expressions. Dean cleared his throat, and Charlie bounced down the stairs.
"Don't they look awesome?"
Melinda laughed at the simultaneous nodding of heads.
"Stop staring at me like that."
They all blinked, and Dean stepped forward, offering Melinda his arm. She smiled at him as she slid her arm through his, and Alex smiled, stepping forward.
"You two have fun."
"Alex, you—"
"Hush."
He smiled at Melinda, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"I've got these yahoos to hang out with. You go enjoy the last night of 2010, huh?"
She smiled as she nodded at him, then turned to face Dean. He lifted his hand to gently pat hers, which was still in the crook of his arm, and he smiled, reaching to open the door and leading her outside.
After a dinner of tiny portions and questionable ingredients, Dean nursed a glass of bourbon while watching Melinda. A forgotten glass of champagne sat on a small table near her, as she stared down at the chaos below them. She had both hands resting on the window, and Dean could see the smile on her face through her reflection in the glass.
"It's always crazy like this on New Year's."
She didn't pose her statement as a question, but Dean could sense the uncertainty in her tone. He took a sip of his drink and she glanced over her shoulder at him. He smiled, nodding his head.
"New Year's is crazy, but it's especially chaotic here. New York is like the New Year's mecca for some reason."
Melinda nodded, turning back to the window as a shiver ran down her spine. Dean smiled, shrugging off his coat. He walked over to her, draping the suit jacket over her shoulders, and she looked up at him, smiling softly. She lifted her hand to touch his fingertips, closing her eyes as she shuddered once, then blinking them back open and smiling up at him.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome."
Their sentences were barely whispers, and this time, Dean stayed behind her, looking over her shoulder down at the crowd. He kept his voice low, and she giggled to herself when the heat of his breath tickled the back of her neck.
"You want to go down there?"
She shook her head.
"There's way too many people. I mean, look how far down the street they are. There's no way they can even see the ball when it drops. No, I'm just fine right here."
Dean smiled.
"Good. Because it's also cold as balls out there."
Melinda laughed out loud, glancing up over her shoulder, meeting his smiling face. His smile seemed to soften, and he lifted his hand, gently running the backs of his fingers over her cheek. Her eyes drifted shut, and she spoke softly.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Anything."
She blinked her eyes open, turning around to face him. She looked up at him, his eyes gentle as he took in the beauty of her face. She opened her mouth a few times, closing it almost as soon as she opened it. She took in a breath, then met his eyes again.
"You love me, don't you?"
Dean blinked, feeling his heart trip in his chest. He took in a breath, letting it out slowly before he nodded.
"Yeah, I do."
Melinda smiled, nodding her head.
"I thought so. You're not very good at hiding it."
Dean let out a laugh, and Melinda's smile warmed his heart. He reached out, touching her cheek again, then let his hand fall to his side.
"I don't want you to think you have to even give me the time of day if you don't want to. I don't want to pressure you or make you think you need to make me happy or whatever. If you want me to go, all you have to do is say the word."
"And you'd go?"
Dean swallowed. He blinked a few times, then met her eyes.
"I would. If it's what you wanted."
It would suck. God, it would suck so bad, and he honestly might not make it. But he promised a long time ago that he'd do whatever he could to take care of her and make her happy, and if that was what she wanted, then he'd do it.
"Even though it would obviously kill you, you'd walk away if I said I wanted you to?"
Dean smiled, the sadness in his eyes tugging at her heart.
"Yeah, Mel. I would."
She nodded, blinking at the sudden rush of tears in her eyes. She stepped forward, and Dean closed his eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. She moved around until she was pressed right against his chest, with her forehead at his neck, just under his jaw. Her eyes were closed and her arms were shaking slightly around him, and he gently rubbed her back.
"It's okay."
She shook her head, letting out a shaky breath.
"I just … I don't know."
"I know. It's okay."
Dean turned his head just enough to kiss the top of her head. She swallowed, letting out a breath.
"I know that you love me. It's obvious. But I don't even know you."
Dean smiled through the pain that shot through his heart.
"That's okay."
"How can that be okay?"
She shook her head, stepping away from him and walking over to the table, clutching the back of one of the chairs. She closed her eyes, and when she opened them again, she jumped. Dean smiled from his place in front of her, letting out a laugh when she reached out and swatted his arm.
"Don't do that. Make noise when you move."
Images flashed like a ticking film strip in her mind, of the same exact thing that had just happened. Her, standing there, reaching out and swatting his arm, and him smiling and laughing. It was like looking through water, or a television full of snow, and she wasn't sure if Dean was even there at all.
She had a strong feeling that he was, though.
She stumbled, falling back into strong arms that were waiting there, ready to catch her. She felt herself being lowered to the ground and squeezed her eyes shut and moaned, feeling a rough, calloused palm gently caress her cheek. She shivered violently, then relaxed, feeling the warmth of his legs against her back, leaning into his touch on her face.
"Easy, Mel. Come back to me. Everything's all right."
She gave a quiet moan, slowly blinking her eyes open. She looked up into Dean's eyes, worry filling the pools of green. She gave a shiver, closing her eyes as she curled closer to him, and Dean gently ran his hand up and down her back.
"I'm here, Mel. Not going anywhere, okay?"
She nodded, moving a hand to touch his arm. They stayed that way for a while, on the ground while Dean just held her, until she finally blinked her eyes open. She looked up at Dean, who looked down at her, until she felt her cheeks flush. He cleared his throat, helping her to her feet, catching her when she swayed as she stood upright. They stayed that way for a while, Dean just holding her in the middle of the room, until the crowd outside began to get louder. Dean blinked as he glanced over, looking out the window, smiling when he saw the countdown clock.
"Hey."
Melinda pulled back a bit, blinking up at him. He moved his hand to tuck a bit of hair behind her ear and smiled.
"It's almost midnight."
Melinda turned from him, slowly making her way to the window and letting out a laugh.
"Look how crazy they're getting!"
Dean walked up behind her, laughing along with her. He shook his head, smiling before he started unconsciously mouthing along with the countdown. Melinda laughed to herself, turning back to the window, looking at the chaos below as it only grew, the crowd getting louder with every second they counted down.
She reached back, taking Dean's hand as the last ten seconds were counted off. They both whispered the last five seconds, and Melinda jumped, gasping in surprise when the fireworks started. She let out a laugh, pressing her hands against the window again, and Dean stood back, watching her instead of the celebration outside, until she turned to face him. He let out a quiet laugh at the wide smile on her face.
"Happy New Year, Mel."
The smile lessened on her face, until she was simply pressing her lips together. She stepped forward, stopping in front of him, and Dean swore that time went still as she reached up, laying her hands on his cheeks, pulling him down as she leaned up.
And she kissed him.
As soon as her lips touched his, Dean's mind shut off. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, and was actually surprised that he could still stand upright. His hands found her hips, pulling her forward just a bit more, until there was barely room for air to get between them. Melinda scratched her nails through his beard before sliding her hands into his hair, and his hands felt like they were burning into her back. The kiss went on and on, and if it never stopped, Dean would have been just fine with that.
Melinda finally pulled back, desperate for air, and her head fell forward, her forehead resting against his chin. Dean closed his eyes, breathing just as hard, still holding her close. When she could breathe almost normally again, she leaned back. He looked down at her, smoothed out a section of her hair, and she smiled.
"Happy New Year, Dean."
