Thank you so much for your reviews, they totally make my day!

If you have any concerns or questions don't hesitate to ask. Usually, I will try to either PM you or answer here.

Cissan writes that she misses deeper feelings from Bella's regarding Edward. Do not fret, they will be more pronounced later, but hopefully her attachment to him shines through via her dreams and that she constantly thinks of him. I tried to make it a bit subtle, since there are other themes in focus (such as her finding out his secret).

I'm glad that you all like her relationship with Charlie. I know where the story goes, but it's important to me to make the story rounded, rather than just rushing to the main event ;)


Chapter 11 - Friends

Despite being busy at work, time felt like it passed infinitely slow. I alternated between thinking about Edward with excitement and feeling like a bad daughter, as I was to be willing to take such a risk. I had made my choice, but I found it unavoidable to ignore the thoughts about Charlie, Renee and Phil and how they would take it if something happened to me. In moments when my thoughts became particularly morbid I pictured my own funeral if I had died in an accident. The morbidity made me sick, and I switched to pleasanter thoughts, such as Edward. Whenever I thought of him, I just knew that I had to take that chance. It felt like my entire being was screaming for Edward, and any thoughts and fears I might have had was overridden.

In my last hour of work Edward surprised me by dropping by. My heart picked up speed, and I knew he must have heard it.

"Surprise," he grinned at me.

"Hey," I replied, instantly blushing. Blushing was happening far more frequently, and I had to remind myself that I was an ocean of calm. It had been so much easier when I had been angry with him. "I'm sorry for my father's thoughts," I felt I had to apologize, "he's just so happy that I have a friend," I said lamely.

"I have trouble hearing his thoughts, I think it's from him you get your mental muteness," Edward admitted. I breathed out, relieved. Edward noticed and grinned lightly. "I wonder what your mother's mind is like," Edward mused almost to himself.

Edward tailed me home in his car, and as I prepared to step out of my car, he was already by my side, opening my door like an old-fashioned gentleman. Then again, he was probably raised quite differently than I.

"So, I've been thinking," I said as we entered the house. Charlie wasn't home and I knew he was probably fishing or in La Push.

"What have you been thinking about?" Edward wondered indulgently. He was smiling at me and I realized he found my curiosity funny.

"Does wizards exists, too?" I wondered curiously.

Edward shook his head to himself and replied. "Not that I know of. But then again, vampires are stuff of legends, too." This time we settled on the living room floor.

"What do you know?" I wondered.

"Well, werewolves exist. But they were hunted to near-extinction," Edward revealed.

"Why?" I wondered horrified.

"War between races. What are you thinking?" Edward wondered curiously.

"Well, I mean, werewolves shift only at full moon?" I asked and Edward nodded, "so they're regular people all other days, right? It seems a bit…" I pondered the words, "excessive, to hunt someone who basically is defenseless and not dangerous most of the time…"

Edward laughed lightly, "that's very kind of you, Bella. But once you're bitten by a werewolf you change, physically and mentally. Most werewolves are… monsters, even when not shifting," Edward said. "Or so I heard. I guess it's a bit like vampires. We're monsters, too, after all, all the time. Despite Carlisle being good, he's still a vampire…" his tone was pensive and brooding.

"How did vampires come to exist?" I wondered pensively, trying to distract him. I didn't like him thinking that he was a monster.

Shrugging, Edward said, "Evolution? We could've evolved just like everything else… From what I have gathered there was no supreme being that started everything. We have ancient vampires, but all were created, and their sires are dead…"

"How did they die? I thought you were immortal," I commented curiously.

"Throughout history there have been many vampire wars, mostly in attempt to gain land and feeding ground. Most ancient vampires tend to stay out of any possible limelight, preferring a solitary living, the Volturi and very, very few other groups notwithstanding."

"How ancient is ancient?"

"Plus 1000 years, I suppose…" Edward's voice was calm, but his eyes were evaluating me. I really tried to school my expression, but it was impossible. My mouth hung open. 1000 years. I couldn't imagine living that long. The mere thought filled me both with horror and fascination.

"What are you thinking?" Edward begged, obviously worried about having scared me.

I opted for honesty, "I am both terrified at knowing you might get to see the end of the world, and at the same time in awe of the thought that you've seen so much, and will continue to do so. You might see when we get flying cars…" I said curiously. "In the last few hundred years' humanity has changed so much, especially with the industrial and information ages. To see that must've been…" words failed me.

Something puzzled me and I changed track. "You said you think evolution created the vampire?" I wondered and he nodded "then, why do you see yourself as a monster? I don't think you're a monster," I told him. "you said evolution could've done this. I don't think the carnivorous animal is a monster for hunting other animals," I frowned.

"Nevertheless, we've all done things. Horrible things, well, except for Carlisle," Edward informed me. We were opening a subject that was new ground, and I knew that if I wanted Edward the Kind, I would have to deal with all the other Edwards as well. This Edward seemed to be a bit pessimistic. I'd already realized he had a low opinion of himself, but to see himself as a monster seemed quite excessive. I didn't like that he had such a lowly view of himself, and I vowed to try to change it.

"What did you do?" I wondered, though it was pretty obvious. I suspected he must've killed quite a few humans. Carlisle had briefly mentioned that Edward had had a rebellious period, and I was clever enough to understand the implication. Strangely, the knowledge didn't frighten me. I felt no fear of Edward.

"I don't want you to be scared," Edward admitted. He tried to change the subject, but I stopped him.

"You must've killed quite a few people. Tell me about it," I asked. I didn't know why I asked him to be explicit, but I didn't want Edward to suffer, or at least not to suffer alone. Perhaps I could help, being his friend and all. That was what friends did, right? Besides, it would help me understand and make sure I was informed. I told him as much, which seemed to make him relent.

"I could hear their thoughts, so I hunted the ones I thought deserved it. I hunted rapists, murderers. Criminals," Edward admitted with an emotionless tone. He hung his head. I considered his words. He had hunted criminals, not innocents. Despite the revelation, it did not bring relief, and I didn't think it was wise to focus on the kind of people he had killed. I doubted my opinion would make him feel better. Since I didn't condone the death penalty I found it morally wrong to say his actions were fine.

"What are you thinking?" Edward wondered hoarsely.

"What are YOU thinking?" I stalled.

"That I deserve Hell."

"Because you've killed?" I wondered.

"Because I'm a vampire, a soulless monster," he explained.

"Hmm… that sounds pretty discriminatory," I considered, hoping to sidetrack him from such glum thoughts. It worked as Edward stared at me bewildered before snorting.

"Discriminatory?" He reiterated.

"Well, yeah. I think it's wrong to assume that just because you are vampires you're doomed. I mean, look at Carlisle. He's never hurt anyone and he works as a doctor to help people," I pointed out. "To assume an entire species is doomed is pretty discriminatory. Species discrimination," I explained, my voice calm and reasonable.

Edward laughed, but I could tell he looked startled at my speech.

"That is so absurd," He laughed.

"I don't think it is," I contemplated. "Edward, just like with other carnivorous animals you're not bad for eating what nature intended you to eat," I said. "I think it's not so much that you've killed people, but perhaps more about the manner of which you did it," I explained. He looked confused.

"The manner?"

"Yes… I mean, you have the brains to be compassionate. If you have to kill someone or something, do it humanely," I explained. "No need to make your intended meal suffer unnecessarily. Or did you do that?"

He looked disturbed, "Of course not."

"Oh," I replied. "I think that makes me feel better," I told him truthfully. "I mean, I've killed, too, though indirectly. I've killed the food I eat. And some of my food aren't in the best of conditions… Such as chickens… I mean, that's not humane or compassionate… It's not right. I really should be more eco-friendly," I said contemplatively.

"You're comparing vampires to eco-friendly humans?" Edward wondered confused. The look on his face was hysterical.

"No, well, depends. I mean, if you were humane about the killings you're probably better than most of humanity. We slaughter mindlessly, after all," I reasoned. "We treat our cattle inhumanely."

Edward considered this. "I've killed people, Bella. People aren't cattle," Edward intoned eventually, gauging my reaction. I was silent, thinking. Edward looked annoyed and I recognized the expression: it meant he wanted to know what was going on inside of my head.

"We're cattle to you. Do you think it's because you can't accept what you are - that you beat yourself up about it, still?" I wondered curiously.

"I'm fine with being a vampire," Edward assured me while rolling his eyes.

Frowning, I questioned, "are you?" I stared into his eyes, hoping he could see what I saw. A man who tortured himself mentally for something that isn't his fault. He can't let go of the accidents, because he doesn't accept his role in them as a vampire. I realized I would do my best to help him be better. The thought of Edward thinking so lowly of himself was almost painful. Edward deserved to smile always. I wanted to make sure he could always smile. The thought filled me with a surge of loving emotion.

"Another thing, if that's ok?" I asked and he nodded almost resigned. "Say you are a soulless monster for being a vampire, how does that fit into the whole Hell and Heaven thing? Doesn't that imply that, once turned, your soul departs for either Hell or Heaven depending on your life as a human? And if that's so, nothing you do now will affect your soul, and you should not worry about Hell, because there's nothing inside of you that can go there…" I considered philosophically.

I wasn't sure if Edward understood what I meant, but he was quiet, brooding - again. He didn't answer my question and the silence stretched.

"May I ask something else?" I wondered. Edward rolled his eyes and gestured for me to ask. "Why do you keep to yourself at school?"

"We don't want to hurt anyone. We don't want to be monsters, to roam the earth with no purpose" Edward explained.

"But you're not actually managing. I mean, Carlisle manages to work his dream at the hospital. But you attend high school after high school, never actually getting involved. It's kind of counterproductive to your goal, isn't it?" I was surprised that he didn't see the flaw himself, but perhaps I had missed something crucial.

"You want us to… go to parties? Make human friends?" Edward wondered shocked. He'd made friends with me, I wanted to point out. But I didn't want to talk about us.

"Well, I do prefer to have you all to myself," I admitted with a massive blush before I could filter my thoughts. Edward grinned at me hugely and I quickly continued, "You are teenagers, you and your siblings, that's what you should do. But instead, you're not embracing your vampire side, and you're not embracing your human side, so, in a way, you linger between the two, undecided," I explained poorly.

"I think I get what you mean. But it's hard to say goodbye," he shrugged, "so we avoid it," I didn't want to ask about our goodbye, and I pushed it from my mind. The mere thought seemed painful and it was amazing how quickly attached I had become to him, despite just being friends.

"But then what's the point of going to school? You could do so many other things. It's not like high school embodies what humanity is about, or I seriously hope not," I argued. "What is the point in trying to be human, when you don't actually try?"

Edward was still again.

"I guess we have to do something to keep our humanity in place," he shrugged, but I could see he was embarrassed. "So you think we should get more involved?"

"I think getting more involved would make you feel more human. I can say that I'm 100% human, but being an outsider makes me feel… alone," I admitted uncomfortably. Edward looked chagrined. "I was alone in Arizona, too," I added for his benefit. "I've never fitted in anywhere. I've never had friends. But it meant I always felt out of step with the rest of my peers," I informed him. "Regarding your worry about saying goodbye: people rarely stay friends with after high school, anyway."

"I guess it makes sense. Except, of course, if you participated and someone cut themselves nothing would happen, whereas I would likely eat them," and he smiled his crooked smile, despite the dark conversation.

I snorted, and then I was disturbed, "Oh no!"

"What?!" Edward said anxiously.

"Can you tell… I mean, when… you know… girls are… Does that make you want to?"

Edward started laughing. He seemed a little embarrassed. I flushed tomato red.

"No, it's a valid question. I'm sorry for laughing," Edward apologized. "We can tell, but it's not edible and we don't feel like eating you. The blood smells stale," he admitted.

"Okay, back on track," I said quickly, "but being in a school still means accidents can happen. Someone can cut themselves everywhere, so it's a risk you're already taking now," I argued again.

"I agree, but no point in taking more chances than we already are. Another thing is my mind-reading ability. It's not easy being around people whose mind you can read. Often teenagers, and adults, are kind of jerks. But especially teenagers. I'm sorry that I made you become excluded at school, but in a way I'm glad, too. They're not nice people. Jessica and Lauren are terrible people." Edward admitted truthfully.

"I know they're vain," I told him, "but Edward, you, of all people, should know that despite people's cruel thoughts they don't actually act on them, right? How many times haven't Lauren wanted to slap me, but not done it? How many times has Jessica imagined you and her together, but never actually jumped you?"

"What would you know about that?" Edward wondered with a smile.

"It's pretty clear on her face," I grinned.

"I-I haven't considered that," Edward said thoughtfully. He looked uncomfortable.

"I just think it's important to listen what people say out loud, rather than what they think… We all think terrible thoughts sometimes," I admitted, thinking back to the days I wanted to hurt Edward for being a jerk. "Most of what we think isn't translated into words or actions, after all."

Oddly enough Edward's mood seemed to drop after that, and he said he had to go. I hoped I hadn't ruined something, but decided I would find out whenever he was ready to talk again.


Sunday morning dawned and the doorbell rang after Charlie had left. I assumed it was Edward, and hurried to open. To my surprise Alice was there instead of Edward.

"Hello Bella," Alice greeted me enthusiastically. She gave me a quick hug and strode past me into the house. She looked around curiously.

"Hello Alice. Would you like to come in?" I wondered automatically, despite her being inside already.

"Thanks, Bella," Alice grinned.

"So, since you know about us I thought I'd have a chat with you alone. Girl to girl. I sent Edward out to hunt, he needed it," Alice explained easily. I had noticed his eyes were black.

"Oh," I replied intelligently. "He really should hunt more often, you all should, considering your positions."

"I agree," Alice said. "So, what are we doing today?" Alice wondered while looking around the small house. I shrugged, uncertain of what Alice wanted to do. She seemed so exuberant and I wasn't sure if the house could contain her.

"What do you want to do, Alice?" I wondered curiously.

"Well, we could talk. There's something I'd like to share," she confessed. I gestured for her to sit on the sofa and I took a seat with her.

"Can I get you something?" I asked her out of politeness. Alice laughed a tinkling laugh, but shook her head.

"So, what are your thoughts on all of this?" Alice wondered. Her eyes were brimming with curiosity.

I considered her question and how to respond as simple as possible. "I guess… I don't understand why you do it. I know Edward said you don't want to be monsters, but then why the bad charade?" I cocked my head to the side, contemplating if there was more I wanted to add. But this seemed to be the core.

"It is silly, isn't it? You made Edward think a lot yesterday. Actually, you made us all think a lot. We've been so busy trying to not be monsters, that we didn't even try to be human. I know we're not human, of course, but we pretend in order to not lose our humanity… And in the process we kind of lost both things," Alice confessed while she crossed her legs and corrected her dress.

"None of us realized it until you said it," and then she grinned, "you should've seen Edward yesterday. He was completely out of it when he got home," she laughed again.

"What happened?" I asked confused and somewhat worried. I recalled his subdued behavior.

"Well, Edward has always judged people from their thoughts, but you reminded him that only a small percentage of those thoughts are converted into actions. Is it right to judge someone on something they technically never did? What is goodness, really? If everyone has nasty thoughts once in a while does that, inadvertently, make us all bad people?" Alice wondered philosophically. "I think you changed the way he looks at others…"

"I didn't know my words had such an effect," I admitted.

"It's a good thing. I think he realized that he can be a bit cruel to others because he's judging them on their thoughts, not on their actual actions. Before he even greets a person he has already judged them and usually found them lacking..." Alice shrugged. "You've really made him think about things," Alice revealed, but she sounded pleased.

"As long as that's good," I shrugged.

"I wanted to share something with you," Alice settled into the sofa better. "Edward told you I can see the future, yes?" Alice wondered and I nodded.

"Yes, it's pretty strange…" I agreed, "I think I've already experienced your gift quite a few times," I noted. Alice simply smiled, but it occurred to me there might be much more I wasn't told of, yet.

"Do you want to know something?" Alice questioned happily and I laughed lightly and nodded.

"I saw you arriving here in Forks. I saw us become friends," she revealed. "I see the weather, I see stocks, I see fashion trends…." she listed off a bunch of things, but I was interested in the first few things she'd mentioned, and I was certain she was aware.

"You saw me?" I asked. I realized the implication of what that meant.

"I saw the impact you'd have on our family. But then, Edward ruined it," Alice admitted bothered. "I mean, when he spoke in biology everything just fell apart."

I couldn't imagine that. "I, I don't know what to say," I replied, uncertain.

"Until someone makes a choice, I see possible futures all the time. Nothing is set in stone." Alice explained.

"We vampires change very rarely. Initially we're solitary and selfish creatures, not that being selfish is a bad thing, mind you, just that we only look out for ourselves. Even in a family such as ours, change demands a lot from us, which is hard… So, when I saw you, saw the impact you'd have, I wanted to meet you… Then Edward…" Alice fell silent again. I noticed she was sitting very still, now.

It was a lot to take in.

"How much is actually a surprise, then?" I wondered, my throat dry. I knew she had seen my decision to talk to them, and to become friends, but how far did her gift stretch?

"When it comes to you most if a surprise. Somehow you elude my vision. But, some decisions are far-reaching, such as when you decided to be our friend. I saw that," she smiled a small smile. "I saw your decision to speak to Edward, and while you prepared your questions he prepared his answers," Alice told me. "He used his ability to see my visions," she explained. I hadn't considered that.

"The future is a bit blurry when it comes to you. I have trouble seeing you, I don't know why, but you're immune to Edward and Jasper's powers. Edward can't get anything from your mind, and Jasper has trouble reading your emotions. It's like you keep a tight rein on them," Alice explained, and then she giggled, "though he had no trouble reading them when he dropped me off on our first day of school." I remembered it very clearly and I flushed. My heart picked up at the thought of seeing Edward that first day, and my blush deepened. Alice laughed lightly.

"Oh," I replied numbly. "Jasper can manipulate emotions. Can you influence the future?"

Alice sighed, "I know you probably think we've been manipulating you, but we haven't. You've been so aggressive, and we could hardly get near you. The future was so uncertain. There were always two possibilities: either you'd get angry or you wouldn't, and I wouldn't know which one until I tried, because you are kind of a blind spot to me, and if we took the chance and you got angry we lost ground, so to speak. It was impossible to tell how you'd react."

She continued: "Sometimes I was sure if I tried to right what Edward did wrong everything would be OK, but I could tell trying to do anything would be unproductive. I had to let it run its course by itself. I tried to be kind, or neutral, instead, so that at least, towards me, you'd feel no animosity…" She trailed off.

"I guess I was a bit aggressive… he just… riled me up," I admitted truthfully. Alice laughed lightly. "It's not even funny, you know. I was never violent until I met him," I told her and we both laughed.

"So… What do you see now?" I asked, curious. Alice regarded me for a second and I busied my hands with a pillow.

"Some futures can change; some things aren't set in stone. Some things are…" She offered me a choice and I knew what she was talking about. My heart picked up and I tried to think straight.

"Perhaps another time," I replied trying to contain the shiver running through me. I wanted to know, but I knew I wasn't emotionally ready for any big revelation yet, and I could tell Alice understood, perhaps even knew before I'd answered her. She offered me a smile, and I knew she understood.

"So, Edward gives you no privacy, you see the future and Jasper can tell if you're PMS'ing?" I summed it up.

Laughing, Alice added, "Jasper can also manipulate emotions, but that's about it," she grinned and I nodded.

"But that's kind of a pretty handy skill," I mused.

"Yeah, but living with Edward since we met you has been kind of a pain," Alice admitted. "Has Edward told you why he was so rude first day of class?" Alice wondered.

"He mentioned something about me smelling extra yummy," I recalled our conversation.

"Well, it's a little more than that, you need to understand. Think of human blood as food, but then there's this favorite dish, which is just mouthwatering. You can't help but eating it," Alice said.

"Ice-cream," I said instantly.

"Yes, but worse. Because you don't run down to the market to buy ice cream all the time, do you?" Alice wondered and I shook my head.

"This scent is so appealing that we lose all our senses. There is no logic, no focus on anything else," Alice explained.

"Sounds horrible," I admitted uncertain. "This is what I smell like to you?"

"No. Just to Edward. To him your blood is the very thing he never knew he needed, and now utterly craves," Alice explained. I sighed, wondering what it meant.

"He's not befriending me in hopes that I will offer my blood, right?" I whispered, a lump in my throat. I had understood that Edward found my blood very delicious, but I hadn't realized just how delicious that was.

"No, he ran off because of your blood. He came back because of you," Alice said. He hadn't known me then, but it seemed obvious he felt the same pull I did. The pull that made us come back, made us accept reckless things, just to be friends. A fleeting thought mused that I might not need Alice's vision to tell the future.

"Oh," I replied eloquently. Edward had already said much of this, but hearing it from Alice made it somehow more real.

"It's quite amazing, really," Alice added, "I can't even imagine such a delicious scent. Emmett has experienced it once, and he ended up eating her… But Edward's tried leaving several times, but he always came back, and each time he seemed more resolved."

"He must have quite the self-control," and I understood now why I, especially, needed to be extra careful. Blood can be spilled without sending them into a frenzy, or they will at least recover quickly, but spill my blood and all hope would be over. "Better be careful then," I concluded. Alice rolled her eyes.

"Well, under normal circumstances yes, but this is… You really do smell nice. Even I can tell, though it's definitely not the same pull as with Edward."

"He looked at me with so much hate," I remembered the first day. It was hard to talk about that time with Alice, but at least she would understand. Who else could I talk to?

"I saw several scenarios that day," Alice revealed. At my urging she continued, "I saw him leave you alone, I saw him kill everyone and then you, and then I saw him stalk you after class, kill you in the woods or at your home," I swallowed.

"Wow."

"You're taking things pretty well," Alice noted.

"I'm trying," I admitted. "I need to know, after all. I believe that knowledge is power. If you were to eat me now, purely by accident, I need you to know that it was my choice as well, that I went into this with both eyes open," I told her severely. She looked very touched. "I don't like to ignore the bad stuff. I don't want to dance around on a grassy field and pretend that everything is Disney-perfect." Alice laughed lightly, but seemed to agree with me. I knew I was already skating over quite a few subjects, but I did vow to come back to them when I was more ready. I didn't want to drown in information and feelings.

Moving on to more pleasing topics, or so I thought, I asked Alice about her life and how she met Jasper.

"Edward only mentioned that you came to live with them together, and that both you and Jasper acquired awareness before you met Carlisle. You don't remember being human, he said," I told her, and I tried to be factual rather than sad on her behalf.

"He said that?" Alice wondered, "hmm…" She fell silent.

"What?" I wondered.

"I think Edward has skipped a bit in the story about me," Alice admitted. "I don't remember being human, but a few months ago, before the summer vacation, we were playing baseball… Three nomads passed by. They heard the commotion and wanted to play," Alice fell silent and I worried about the horror story she was bringing on me.

"What happened?" I whispered. I was surprised at the protectiveness I felt towards her. I worried for her. As that thought struck me a stronger worry surged through me: protectiveness for Edward. Where had he been?

"One of the nomads remembered me. Edward heard his mind and told me everything he saw afterwards," Alice admitted sadly.

"I don't understand," I whispered quietly. Alice seemed lost for a second.

"One of the nomads we met was called James. He was a tracker and he lived to hunt. Edward saw that James recognized me from when I was human. I was institutionalized by my parents due to visions, and a vampire at the asylum, Abraham, kept me safe. James took it as a challenge and tried to get to me, but Abraham changed me before James got to me…" Alice said in a rush. "Abraham was murdered by James…"

I could tell she was affected and I gently patted her shoulder, hoping to convey comfort. She seemed to get better.

"That's awful," I whispered saddened.

"Yes. Edward told me all he had found in James' mind after the game was done. James had killed Abraham, but left me alone," Alice said. "I- well-" Alice fell silent and I wondered what had happened. "I got my revenge," she finally admitted.

I felt as if my heart had been beating furiously, but now it was calm again. I was surprised at how pleased I was on Alice's behalf.

"Good," I replied. "But how do you kill a vampire? You seem so indestructible," I commented.

"Our venom, though perfect in almost every way, has one flaw: it's highly flammable," Alice told me. I laughed at the incredulity of it.

"Seriously?" I whispered shocked.

"Yes. Though, mind you, it will take quite a lot to get to our venom, since our bodies are so strong… Anyway, we laid out a plan and, between Edward, Jasper and my own powers, it was pretty easy. We ripped James and Victoria to threads and burned the pieces," she told me factually. I stared at her. Surely someone would've noticed such a fight, but I remember nothing of the sort. I didn't even remember not seeing them at school. Wouldn't someone have noticed if a couple of vampires got into a fight?

"Victoria?" It sounded like such a normal and innocent name.

"It was his mate. She had the gift of evasion. Or running off. I don't know. Suffice to say she complicated things. But perhaps it was best that way," Alice commented.

"Mate? And what about the last nomad?" I wondered. Edward hadn't told me about mates.

"The last one was Laurent. He went to meet up with some of our extended family." Alice said.

"Mates?" I pushed, unthinkingly.

"Edward didn't tell you?" Alice said, though it sounded more to herself, "We mate for life."

I stared at her for a few seconds. "Wow… that seems… very absolute," I admitted. Alice giggled.

"Yes, very Romeo and Juliet," Alice grinned, clearly recalling our first conversation after the vacation. It felt like so long ago, yet it was only two weeks' time.

"But seriously? Mate for life? There are no others, then?" I wondered. As much as I admired the idea, in reality it sounded crazy. But then again, my parents were divorced.

"Oh we can fool around as much as humans, if we're so inclined, but once we meet our mate that's it. There are no others. It's forever. I mentioned how we rarely change, right? One thing that can definitely change a vampire is meeting our mate. Someone so precious that we're willing to change ourselves to accommodate another being," Alice explained.

Something tingled in the back of my mind. We were reaching dangerous territory again, and questions that I wasn't ready for was slowly pushing their way forward. I pushed back, not ready to acknowledge something so huge like that. I needed to take one step at the time, not rush forward.

"Seems kind of nice," I finally responded. Alice seemed at ease, as if my crazy imagination was simply that: crazy. I deflated mentally and tried to relax. I couldn't help but wonder what that meant. I wanted so much to ask, but what if the answer was not to my liking? Was I ready for that? And what if it was? For now, I decided, I would go slow and not rush it.

I pressed Alice for more information about her and Jasper, how they met and what she'd done before the Cullens. It helped me re-focus. Alice loved to talk, especially about Jasper, and I enjoyed listening to her.

I'd had a great time with Alice, who, after the initial traumatizing conversations, had been lots of fun. It was really nice to get to know her, and I found, to my surprise, that she seemed like someone I could easily be friends with. Mostly, she seemed so much herself, if it was impossible not to like.

I'd introduced her to Charlie, who seemed ridiculously pleased that I was making friends, and he really seemed to like Alice, too.

Alice spent most of the day with me, and when she left she winked at me conspicuously, which I didn't understand until I got to my room.


I know it might seem like the Cullens are really stupid, and they're not, but I really feel that they focused so much of their energy into not being monsters, that they simply didn't think about being more human, or even considered the possibility that being more human might help with the bloodlust (becoming desensitized).

In the books, the bloodlust is a constant thing in the back of all their minds, so I see it like a constant reminder of the danger they pose, which they use much of their energy to keep in check. It's only because Bella is a human and smell like she does to Edward, that Edward realized he had to desensitize himself. This is technically what Carlisle did, too, in order to work at the hospital.

They've been so focused at being good vegetarians that they didn't consider how Carlisle had done what he did. In the books, it's explained as if Carlisle is simply more compassionate than the rest, when, in reality, it simply might be that he was "just" so focused on being able to do what he loved (being a doctor), that he managed to desensitize himself.

Of course, there's also the fact that Change is difficult for vampires, which bring us back to Alice's Preface, where she mentions the affect Bella will have on the family.


I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please leave a review. Next chapter will be up next week :)