The Uchiha Sweetheart in Dreamland! Sakura MEOWS

Special Gaiden

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Don't sassed a cat

Or else you'll find yourself

Walking and meowing

MEOW!

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PART ONE! The Talking Neko-chan…in La La Land!

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7:00 at the bridge

7:01 – Sakura had Naruto in a headlock

7:09 – Sasuke closed his eyes

7:30 – Naruto was singing "itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini…"

7:45 – Sakura and Naruto were playing jumping rope… "I love you teddy bear, touch the ground… show your shoe…"

8:02 – Sasuke was asleep while standing

8:15 – Sakura and Naruto were playing Janken

9:00 – Sasuke woke due to Sakura's yells of "…dumb Kakashi-sensei…!"

9:01 – Sakura and Naruto were playing thumb wrestling

9:30 – POOF!

"YOU'RE LATE!"

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"Okay, we have a new mission today— a COOL mission." Kakashi declared. The three Genin looked up at him blankly.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Forget it."

Naruto snorted, crossed his arms and eyes crinkled. "Liars go to hell."

Sasuke grunted. "Hn."

Kakashi chuckled. "Hehehe— but this is an IMPORTANT mission."

"Liar." Naruto and Sakura said together.

"I'm stuck doing stupid missions whilst there are strong people out there." Sasuke growled, his eyes darkening.

"…" Naruto and Sakura watched him apprehensively.

Kakashi shoved his fists inside his pockets, looked down at them lazily. "You are Genins. Those "stupid missions" are necessary. Missions are sorted according to Ninja ranks so stop sulking and be happy."

Sakura glanced at Naruto with a bored expression on her face. "Ne, Naruto, don't get your hopes high. I bet today's mission is as lame as before…" she warned.

Kakashi ignored her remark. "Listen up. Today you have to rescue Tora——"

The three perked up at the mention of "rescue".

"Rescue mission? COOL!" Naruto commented.

"—the lost cat."

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Sakura was shaking.

Naruto was gaping with disbelief clearly written over his whiskered face.

Sasuke's Sharingan were activated.

Kaakshi chose to ignore those signs of anger and disbelief. "Okay. Off you go and good luck." He imagined thunderclouds hanging all over their heads; at least six veins were throbbing and pounding on Sakura's head.

She shook as she said: "I knew it I knew it I knew it I — KNEW — IT!"

Kakashi tried to calm her flaring nostrils. "Tora the Lost Cat is not an ordinary cat."

Sakuar looked up slowly, fists ready to shove up to Kakashi's nose. "A CAT IS A CAT! It runs it walks and it MEOWS!"

"Tora doesn't meow."

Three pairs of eyes blinked.

"It barks?" Naruto said, frowning.

"Moron," Sasuke muttered under his breath.

Kakashi smiled behind his mask. Gee, he was looking forward to their looks of astonishment.

"It talks."

And of course, he anticipated their trademark shout of—

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

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"LIAR!"

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

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Oooh, he expected that shout and its accompanying intensity so he brought a pair of earmuffs which he put on after declaring the last two words.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

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The three were stomping down the forest ground, craning their necks and mumbling incoherently. Sasuke stayed behind, glaring and listening to his teammates' usual 'Our-sensei-is-stupid-pep-talk' routine.

"A talking cat— this is insane!" Sakura fumed. "This is earth, isn't it? We're not in La La Land or in Neverland or in Wonderland or in the Land of Oz to go and find a talking cat! THIS — IS — STUPID!"

Naruto winced. "Tora-chan must be a special cat."

Sakura faced him with a sharp glare. "Very special indeed—it talks, Naruto, in case you haven't heard." She snapped.

"But Sakura-chan, cats are not supposed to talk, aren't they?"

She snorted. "Obviously, they meow, baka!"

Naruto nodded, a finger tapping his chin. "And dogs bark."

Sasuke rolled his eyes. Loud mouth idiots.

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

After 30 minutes:

Sakura tugged at Naruto's sleeve. "There!" she pointed. Her male teammates looked at where she indicated.

BINGO.

A reddish brown cat was stuck in the gap between giant tree roots. It was struggling and they noticed it was rather mumbling under its breath—

Wait.

A cat did

-not mumble.

But—

Whatever. They advanced to the cat where it was stuck, Naruto leading them. "Naruto, it must be Tora the lost cat!"

Naruto nodded and walked faster toward the trapped cat. "FINAALY! Where have you been, you stupid cat?" He roared, making a dive to capture the animal but he froze.

"SHUT UP, YOU DUMBASS!" a male voice shouted.

Growling, Naruto spun around, facing Sasuke. "What did you just said, bastard!"

Sasuke glowered. "Nothing."

"NOTHING?" Naruto bellowed.

"SHUT UP, YOU DUMBASS!"

Naruto was about to explode when Sakura poked him in the shoulder. "Naruto— it's the cat! It talks! Did you forget!"

"What?" Naruto looked back at the cat which is now openly glaring daggers at them. "Oh yeah, I forgot. The lost cat Tora-chan can talk. COME HERE, Kitty-chan! COME TO—"

His words were cut short when the cat bellowed. "YOU STUPID CHIPMUNK WITH ACRID YELLOW STRAW HAIR SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Naruto and Sakura gaped while Sasuke's eyes widened slightly. Sure, the cat had a foul mouth. And it mocked.

A mocking-cat.

"What… what did you just said?" Naruto yelled back, veins twitching all over his temples. Chipmunk? HE? Chipmunk! And straw hair… this cat's going down!

"Naruto, get it, now!" Sakura urged him, pushing him forward.

"THREE UGLY RAUCOUS WHINY MIDGETS—"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL US?" Sakura yelled back, the word 'midget' squarely hit a nerve. She was especially touchy with her height.

"GAH, ARE YOU DEAF, PINK-HAIRED FREAKY BRAT?"

"YOU—" Electricity crackled. "I'M NOT A FREAK! STOP SHOUTING YOUR HEAD OFF!" Sakura's loud voice echoed through out the forest.

"I'M SHOUTING BECAUSE YOU'RE DEAF!" Veins throb all over the cat's head.

"I AM NOT DEAF!"

"YOU ARE!"

More veins throb. "I AM NOT!"

Sasuke, who had his own share of throbbing veins, pulled a pink tendril from Sakura's head. "Oi, quit shouting,"

The girl, whose face was as red as cherries, turned to him, nostrils flaring. "IT'S A DAMNED STUPID-LOOKING CAT!" she hollered, hands on hips.

"So, I'm a damned stupid-looking cat, huh?" The cat squeezed itself free from the roots. "Let's see! Abracadabra open sesame pooh-pooh mumbo-jumbo hocus-pocus!" A big thick smoke erupted from beneath Sakura's feet, engulfing the girl.

"Sakura-chan!"

"Sakura!"

Both boys dove into the smoke, desperately searching with their hands extended upfront, trying to grasp the girl. The smoke cleared gradually and they found Sakura's red cheongsam laying on the ground, her green shorts, blue sandals, Leaf forehead protector and shuriken holster.

"Why would Sakura-chan take off her clothes?" Naruto wondered aloud.

Sasuke looked down at the bulging red dress. The bulge moved. His eyebrows contracted.

And a cat popped out from the red crumpled dress.

A cat with…

...pink fur—

Blink. Blink.

And green eyes.

A weird silence passed. Sasuke and Naruto stared down at the cat with wide eyes. On the other hand, the cat opened its mouth and say:

"Sasuke-kun?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…?"

ZOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

"…and then the smoke clears and we saw her but she's a…" Naruto glanced at Sasuke who blinked and looked down at his arms.

"—cat." He replied, lifting his arms which were wrapped around a pretty cat with PINK fur and GREEN eyes. Kakashi groaned, looking down at the cat in Sasuke's arms. He cocked his head sideward. A vein started to pound on the cat's head.

"This is a big furry problem."

The cat's fur stood up in the end and began shouting. "YES IT IS A BIG FURRY PROBLEM, SENSEI! IS THIS PERMANENT? AND WHY DID I TURN INTO A CAT IN THE FIRST PLACE! I DON'T WANT TO GET STUCK BEING A CAT!"

Kakashi was astounded.

"You can talk?"

Five more veins began to twitch.

"ARE YOU DEAF! OF COURSE I CAN! I CAN TALK I CAN TALK I CAN TALK BECAUSE I'M A GIRL! I'M HUMAN I'M HUMAN BUT LOOK AT ME! LOOK — AT — ME! I TURNED INTO A CAT! A—CAT—SENSEI! I HAVE FURS I HAVE A TAIL AND WORST OF ALL I MEOW!"

Kakashi winced. It's Sakura, all right. Even though her form is a cat, she clearly retained the enormous volume of her voice.

"Calm down."

Oops. Wrong words, for all six veins popped at once and its voice grew louder and fiercer.

"WHAT? CALM DOOOOOOOOOOOWN? CALM DOWN! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO CALM DOWN NOW THAT I'VE GOT A TAIL?"