A/N: Beta'd by americnxidiot (ff net), and Denise.

Blow Up in the Little Big City

I'm really starting to hate tote bags. They're just a pocket with straps that refuse to stay on your shoulder. They have no divisions. There are no smaller pockets to separate pens and keys from textbooks and notebooks. It all just goes in together, and I have to root around with my one hand to find anything.

I miss my backpack. I could deal with the only-being-able-to-wear-one-of-two-straps thing, even though it pulls my shoulder back to a weird angle in relation to the rest of my body. I could live with that. It doesn't ache that much. The problem is zippers. Backpacks have zippers; tote bags do not.

Have you ever tried to unzip a backpack with one hand? The fabric moves, but the zipper doesn't. It's a great way to get really frustrated really fast. Trying to use a backpack everyday would very likely lead to me tossing the damn thing, unopened obviously because of the fucking zippers, across the room and very likely taking someone out in the process. So for now I'm stuck with the tote bag. Fucking tote bag.

No matter how hard I tried to shove everything in, it just wouldn't fit. So, now I'm carrying what wouldn't go in. Which means the one hand capable of manipulating things like door handles and keys is, at best, partially useless.

I don't even bother trying to lock the door as I leave. It's a small town with an almost non-existent crime rate, and nothing about our house indicates that it's hiding anything valuable inside.

Sadly, car doors are not so easy to deal with when your arms are full.

I look like an idiot right now, struggling with a car door. I know this. Clearly SWCIFD knows this too, because he's trying not to laugh at me.

Eventually he leans over to open it from the inside.

"Thanks," I mutter, gracelessly plunking down into the seat.

He nods and pulls the car away from the curb.

00000

Once we get to school I learn that it's harder to get out of the car with my hands unavailable then it was to get in. I do eventually manage it though, once again looking like an idiot in the process.

SWCIFD is standing uncertainly on the passenger side of the car, with his hands shoved in his pockets when I finally fight my way out of the car. He looks like he wants to say something, but I glare at him before he can offer to help. He gives me a suit yourself shrug and I start off towards school.

Mike swoops in from somewhere to the left and takes the stuff out of my arms before I can protest.

"You could have asked."

"You'd have said no," he answers with a grin.

"All the more reason for you to ask."

"At some point in your life you're going to have to learn how to be gracious, Bella. You might as well start now."

"At some point in your life you're going to learn that women appreciate manners, Mike, and then you're gonna be shit out of luck."

"Well, let's see... please, thank you, ma'am," he says the last one while tipping an imaginary hat. Someone's been watching too many movies set in the forties. "I think I've got it covered."

I sigh, and shake my head in defeat. He just smiles wider, and we start walking again. When I get my cast off, I'm going to start stealing his stuff, see how he likes. Of course then I'd have to run, and that usually doesn't end well. Maybe I'll just take something when he's not looking and hide it.

While I'm trying to run down a list of possible things I could steal from him without him noticing right away, someone calls his name; just as he turns away my foot loses traction, slipping out from under me. I start falling backwards, but an arm snakes around my waist and pulls me back against something solid. There's a warm puff of laughter against my ear and a brief steadying hand on the small of my back, and then SWCIFD walks past me without looking back. He may make me uncomfortable but the man is handy to have around. His habit of popping up out of nowhere is getting a bit weird, though.

Mike turns back, probably only seconds after he turned away, but SWCIFD's already passed another group of people and disappeared into the milling crowd. Mike jolts as his foot slips, but of course, he catches himself. He's not balance impaired.

"Watch out for the ice," he comments idly, "You need at least one good arm."

"Thanks," I mutter distractedly, standing on my toes to see if I can spot SWCIFD in the crowd ahead. I don't see him. Maybe he can teleport or something... that would explain a lot, actually.

Mike walks with me to my locker, and just as I reach out to take my stuff he moves it farther away. I give him a look somewhere between questioning and pissed off, and he smiles nervously.

"I wanted to ask you, umm... do you want to hang out after school, just us?"

"But not like a...?"

"No!" he interrupts quickly, and blushes. "Just... hanging out."

"Are you holding my books hostage?"

"What?" He gives me a confused look, and then glances down at my books cradled against his chest. "No, sorry," he laughs uncomfortably and hands them back. "I just wanted you to wait."

I don't think this is a good idea at all, but he just seems so... oh crap. "Alright."

"Yeah?" He looks up quickly, his expression practically dripping with hope.

"Yeah, but it's NOT a date."

"No, no of course not. We're friends."

"Right."

"Right."

I don't find the huge smile plastered across his face particularly reassuring.

00000

I spend the majority of first period history either wondering whether or not it's possible that SWCIFD has the ability to appear and disappear out of thin air or worrying that Mike is going to be standing outside the door at the end of the class to take my books again. God knows what he'd want me to agree to this time.

When the bell finally goes, I look both ways trying to spot Mike, before going out into the hall, and then I do my best to stay in populated areas to decrease the chance of being seen. This is insane. I feel like a fugitive.

I move around an annoyingly slow moving group of guys and end up out in the middle of the hallway. SWCIFD is walking ahead of me, and before I can really think about it, I'm walking faster to catch up to him.

"How is it you always seem to appear out of nowhere?" I ask, coming up beside him.

He turns quickly, and his surprised look is almost comical. Forget almost, it's fucking hilarious.

"Everything comes from somewhere."

"What?"

"Nothing comes from nowhere."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You said I come from nowhere. I'm pointing out that that's impossible."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm just making a comment."

"You're evading my question, that's what you're doing."

"Me? I wouldn't do that. I'm a very straight forward person." I snort, because he's clearly full of it, and he chuckles.

"So, how is it you always seem to appear out of nowhere?"

"I'm just stealthy like that. It's good practice."

"For what, your future career as a ninja?"

"No, for when I graduate from luring unsuspecting teenage girls into my car with candy to full-fledged vampire rapist."

"Is there money in that?"

"Well, I'll probably have to rob banks too, but I'm sure my conscience can take it."

"Why are we even talking about this?"

He shrugs. "You started it."

"I did, didn't I?"

"Yup. My class is down there," he says pointing down the hall to the left.

"Alright." I take a few more steps toward my English class before things click into place. I turn quickly towards his retreating back. "You didn't answer my question!"

He turns slowly to face me. "Didn't I?" His expression is a mix of mock confusion and all too real smugness, because apparently the bastard already knew that.

00000

As I near the cafeteria, I spot Jess and Angie standing around by the doors. When Angie sees me she taps Jess's arm to get her attention and waves me over to them.

"So, anything new today?" Jess asks, with a knowing smile as I come to stand in front of them. Did she hear that I talked to him in the hallway? Or maybe that he grabbed me when I slipped? I really hope she's not about to ask what it feels like to be pulled against his chest, because any possible conversation stemming from that is definitely going to be infringing on dangerous territory.

"Uh... he mentioned he likes Bill Bryson this morning." I shoot a questioning look at Angie. She usually isn't here for Jess's questions. I get the feeling she thinks it's a bit like a drug dealer selling an addict crack, but in a very nonjudgmental way that only Angie can pull off.

"Edward? Really? I... I don't know who that is."

"He writes travel books, they're... funny?" That shouldn't have been a question, but something about this situation is making me really nervous.

"Oh... well..."

"Jess," Angie interrupts impatiently.

"Oh, right... uh, no, that's not what I meant. Are you going out with Mike?"

Shit. "Define going out."

"You know... like a date."

"No, I'm not going on a date. We're just friends. We're hanging out as friends."

"Oh... because everyone thinks you're going on a date."

"Everyone as in...?"

"The entire school." I really hate small schools. I really really hate small schools. I want to go back to something more like my last school, where my lab partner thought my name was Isadora, and I didn't know what my principal looked like. A school you can disappear in, that's what I want.

"I told you it wasn't true," Angie mutters quietly to Jess.

"You never think rumours are true."

"Because they never are."

"Most of them are true."

"Really? So, how'd that date with David Waters go?"

"I did NOT... some of them are true."

"Are we going to be eating lunch anytime soon?" I ask, cutting off whatever Angie was going to say in response.

"Oh, yeah," Jess says, turning to push through the double doors. "But if you were going on a date or something you'd tell us, right? Because we're friends... at least I think we're friends."

"We're friends," I reply with a nod. "If there was something to tell, I'd have told you."

"Good."

Mike doesn't turn up at the table until halfway through lunch, and then he squeezes in on the side of the table I'm sitting on, despite the fact that there're less people on the other side. With him being on the same side of the table as me, and with Jess and Tyler sitting between us, I can't really see him at all. I'm pretty sure he did that on purpose, like he's avoiding me in case I try to change my mind. My suspicion is basically confirmed when he scarfs down his lunch in record time, and then runs out ten minutes before the bell. On the plus side, it's much easier to avoid someone who's trying to avoid you.

00000

When I get to bio, Mike isn't there yet, unlike SWCIFD who's already sitting at our table, smiling at me funny.

"So, should I call you Mrs. Newton now, or are you going with a hyphen? Swan-Newton... Newton-Swan? Personally, I vote for Newton-Swan. The other one sounds too much like Fig Newton, like it's a Newton full of Swan, although I guess that makes the other one a Swan full of Newton, and that's so much more disturbing." Did he seriously just... ew.

"Would you shut up," I snap. I carelessly drop my tote bag down next to my stool, and the contents spill out onto the floor between us. I glare at the messy pile briefly, but make no move to pick it up. With a defeated sigh, I drop my head down onto the wooden table in front of me. Why won't this day just fucking end?

"Wow, hostile. Did he forget you're anniversary already?"

"Do you have a death wish? Is that what this is?"

"I'm just trying to be friendly."

"Well, you suck at it."

"Hey, it's the thought that counts, right?"

"Depends what your goal is. I don't think your goal is particularly friendly," I reply through gritted teeth.

"Alright, alright. Breathe, Bella." And I do. "I'm guessing that's a no then, on the name change?"

"Yes, it is."

"Good, cause you know he's an ass, right?"

"Well, you'd know wouldn't you?"

"Exactly, I'm an expert."

"It's not even a date," I mutter defensively.

"Have you told him that?"

"Yes."

"Do you believe he understands that?"

"I'm not... sure."

"You should probably clear that up before the invitations go out."

"I think that time may have already passed." The cat's already way the fuck out of the bag.

00000

This is very possibly my worst decision ever. Why the fuck did I agree to this? I knew he didn't want to go out as friends. I knew he wanted this to be a date, but I came anyway.

This feels like a date. A really awkward date. He drove us down to Port Angeles after school and we went to see a movie. He tried to convince me to watch some nondescript romantic one called The Heart of Love, or The Beat of Love, or The Beat of Your Heart, or something like that. I tried to steer him more towards the slasher flick about a serial killer in a logging camp because I figured it would be an easy way to get him off the date movie idea, but he wouldn't have it. We ended up compromising with one of those comedies aimed at teenagers that further convinces me adults think we're complete idiots. I was a little insulted, actually.

In the theatre he kept brushing his arm against mine when he grabbed a handful of popcorn, and leaning in really close to whisper things while the movie was going on. On the way to the restaurant his hand kept touching the small of my back or my arm as we walked.

Now we're sitting in La Bella Italia in the midst of an incredibly awkward bout of extended silence, while I aimlessly poke at my pasta. I should've gone home.

"So... have you started that research paper for history yet?" Mike asks.

"Umm... yeah, I finished it a few days ago."

"Oh, yeah... I haven't gotten around to it yet."

I nod. My eyes scan the occupants of the surrounding tables. Do they think we're on a date? Do they think we're a couple? Does Mike think we're a couple? No, he may be trying to make this into the date I explicitly said it wasn't, but he's not delusional.

"How did you find it?"

"What?" I ask, turning back to look at him.

"How did you find the paper?"

"Oh... it wasn't too bad... time consuming, I guess."

He nods. "Yeah, research papers are pretty time consuming."

"Yeah." It's not very often I'd characterize a conversation as painful, but this definitely meets the criteria. On the bright side, we're both almost done with our food and then I can go home. I really want to get home.

About twenty minutes later we're outside in the chilly night air, walking down the street. Mike stops a few feet from his car, turning towards me hesitantly.

"So... um..." Mike starts, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the sidewalk. "There's a bakery down the street that's open pretty late. We could go and get something for dessert, if you want."

"I'd really rather we just go home, Mike."

He nods, still looking down at his shoe scratching against the cement. I turn to walk towards his car, when I hear an abrupt and unsettlingly bitter laugh. I turn back around quickly to find Mike looking at me with a twisting smile.

"What?"

"Nothing, I just... it's stupid," he says with a shake of his head. I know I should probably say something. He's been really sweet, and for some unknown reason he seems to like me, but I just don't think of him that way. I have absolutely no idea what one says in this situation. I'm not exactly practiced in the ways of tactfully dealing with someone who has an unrequited crush on you. Hell, I don't even know how to deal with requited crushes, and they seem much simpler, at least in theory. I haven't had a boyfriend since kindergarten, and I seriously doubt that counts.

"Okay," I reply slowly. I want to turn and start off towards his car, but he seems to be really fascinated by the ground again, and I kind of need him to drive me. "Are you coming?"

"In a minute, I just... is there a reason?" Oh, shit. Are we actually going to talk about this right now?

"I don't... I don't like you like that, Mike."

"But you don't really know me. I mean... we never really talk."

"We talk... I've talked."

"Yeah, you banter, but you never really say anything. Not about yourself."

"That's not true," I reply defensively. Is that true? Do I talk without saying anything? Do I shut people out? Fuck, now is so not the time for self-reflection.

"Well, maybe you share all your little secrets with Edward, but you're certainly keeping them to yourself around everyone else."

"Wow! What the hell was that?"

"I'm just thinking... you know, obviously vamp boy deigns you good enough to talk to, so maybe you don't want to hang out with the townie's anymore. Maybe that's why you stay so distant. Maybe you think you're too good to hang out with us, but you haven't gotten your invitation to the privileged table yet."

"Are you fucking serious, right now!?"

"I get it. You come from a big city, and all of a sudden you're surrounded by a bunch of small town kids."

"I'm from Forks! I was born in Forks!"

"And then your Mom left, because she thought she was too good for us. I suppose it's only natural you would feel the same."

"Did you really just bring my mother into this, Michael?" I swear to God if he so much as implies something about her I'm going to take him out, broken arm or not.

He doesn't reply, just sighs loudly and brings his hands up to the sides of his head.

"So, what is this? Do you actually believe all this shit, or have I just injured your precious ego?"

"Oh, please. Get over yourself, Bella."

"You know what? Maybe you should just fuck the hell off, Mike."

"Gladly!" He yells, turning with quick strides to get to his car. I look away towards the darkened shops, trying to suppress the overwhelming urge to chase him down and do some serious damage to his stupid arrogant face.

I hear his car tear off down the street, the headlights flash across the storefronts as he speeds past. Suddenly, all the rage that was filling me disappears. I'm still angry. I'm still really fucking angry, but mostly I just feel empty inside.

I'm now alone in a strange city on a December night. This is just fantastic.

With a tired sigh, I sit down on the curb of the dark, largely empty street. I drop my head down against my knees, wrap my arms around the front of my legs, and just sit there for a while.

That went really, really fucking badly.

A/N:

BLtS now has two threads. You can find the addresses on my profile page.

Also the first chapter of my new fic Ethan Church is now up.

Summary: After receiving an invitation to write the biography of the severely reclusive author Ethan Church, Bella develops a reluctant obsession with his novels and by extension him. When she accepts his offer, the old, dying man she's presented with and the young, too perfect man she comes across on the nearly empty estate have her convinced she's missing some very important parts of the story. E/B, AU.