Chapter Eleven:

Reed was restless. Since they had arrived home a little over three hours ago, he hadn't been able to sit still. The moment they were back and settled, Sue had showered and then gone off to bed. She'd been quiet the whole journey home, and despite the want to stay near to Reed, she'd insisted that she should probably get some sleep. Reed, of course, had encouraged that. Neither of them assumed she'd be sleeping soundly, however. One doesn't have their hand on a live explosive for an extended period of time without one restless night.

At close to midnight, Reed wandered down the hall for what felt like a thousandth time. He'd showered when Sue had gone to bed, the bathroom still smelling like her shampoo, and that had killed a bit of time. Johnny and Maddie had returned after he had started clearing up the living room, but their presence brought with it the turning on of the television, so there was really no point in clearing up a room that wasn't even messy while they were there. Normally, the pair stayed at Maddie's apartment, but he could understand why they were at the Baxter Building tonight. Reed had to admit, he wasn't keen on Johnny bringing women home, but Maddie wasn't as temporary as the other were. In fact, the way they were sitting on the couch together, it seemed pretty clear that she was in the process of becoming permanent. He was sure that he'd heard Johnny tell Maddie that he loved her a few times whilst they'd been home. Of course, the main reason they wanted to stay, however, was because Johnny wanted to be close to Sue. It was fine knowing that she was okay, but being so close if anything wasn't okay made him feel better.

Still feeling restless, Reed had gone into the kitchen. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep that night. He'd wait until Johnny and Maddie went off to bed, and then he'd make sure everything was turned off and then perhaps he'd go into the lab for a few hours. That would bring them round to dawn, and the following night he'd be so exhausted that sleep would come easily.

For now, though, he'd clean the kitchen - another plan that went down the drain. They hadn't even been in that day to eat meals, let alone leave any mess to clean up. There were a few coffee cups, and a couple of plates that were left over from breakfast, so he cleaned those. He put away the dried crockery and plates back into the cupboards after he'd cleaned them. He even checked that the rest of the plates were clean and didn't need washing again, but he realised afterwards that there was no point in doing that. Sue was the one who would wash up most of the time, so there would be no dirty plates after her domestic work. Sue was the sort of woman who, despite her immediate business success, seemed to have an aura of domesticity about her. Even though she could easily have a CEO position in her name within a number of years because of her intellect, it was no secret that her real life goal wasn't fancy jobs and expensive houses; it was to settle down and have a family. Reed could understand why. She'd make a wonderful mother, there was no question about that.

It was when he finally accepted that the kitchen was cleaned to perfection and that he hadn't eaten all day, that he realised the veranda doors were open.

Reed didn't remember opening them, and Johnny and Maddie had headed straight for the couch when they arrived home. Ben was staying at Alicia's...which left Sue. But, only an hour ago, Reed had heard Sue saying she was going to bed.

Frowning, he went towards the veranda doors; large glass windows that lead onto an open balcony-area, overlooking the entire city. The Baxter Building was almost famed for its view of New York. Sure enough, there was Sue, standing right up against the wall, looking out onto the city. Even in the middle of the night the city never calmed. Cars were still passing by beneath, and the city lights were still shining brightly. There was a blanket wrapped around her shoulder, and he could see the bottoms of her pyjama pants covering her ankles.

He watched her for a moment, fascinated by the way her blonde hair waved gently around her shoulders with the slight breeze. She was motionless as she bathed in the view around her, no doubt her eyes fixed up on the stars that, from that viewpoint, didn't really seem so far away. Reed smiled to himself; he could remember the first time that he'd shown her the view from the Baxter Building. In fact, he realised that he could remember every magical moment of it. The blanket over her shoulders was probably meant to keep away the midnight chill, but he couldn't imagine it helping much that she was barefoot on the patio ground. He sighed to himself. He almost lost this beautiful woman today.

After watching her for a moment, he stepped forward slowly. The patio was large, but she'd be able to hear his footsteps from the minute he set foot on the stone ground. However, she must have been so lost in her thoughts, as she didn't even notice his presence when he was standing right beside her. He leant against the wall just as she was doing, following her gaze to see that she was looking up at the constellations above them. He leaned sideways a little, nudging their shoulders together.

"Hey." He told her softly, his voice quiet.

She jumped a little when she realised someone was with her, but when she saw it was Reed she relaxed. She managed to give him a smile when she tore her eyes away from the stars. "Hey." She replied simply.

"I thought you were sleeping." He pointed out.

She shrugged underneath the blanket covering her shoulders. "I couldn't sleep." She brushed off, returning her eyes to the sky.

"Are you hungry?" He asked her.

She shook her head. "Not really." She admitted. "I guess I should eat something though. I don't think I've actually eaten anything today."

"It's late, perhaps we should wait until morning now if you're not hungry." He pointed out to her. She nodded along with him, not sure if she could face food at that moment. "I know I can't eat after..." Reed broke off, unable to say for a moment what he wanted to say.

She looked back down from the stars, directly into his eyes. "Reed..."

"You almost died today." He said softly, so quietly that his voice was almost lost against the midnight breeze, but she still heard him and the feelings in his voice.

Sue was quiet for a moment, remembering how every time Johnny had snuck up onto the operating theatre floor that he had told her worried Reed was. Whilst she was in such a position, she hadn't really imagined just how worried he had been, but now, standing right beside him, it had only taken four words for her to realise. She nodded. "Yeah, I almost died today."

His faces glazed over with emotion; regret and fear mostly. Whilst he held her gaze for a moment, eventually it became too much, looking into her eyes and knowing that, if he hadn't been there, he wouldn't be looking into them right now. It was too much for him to handle, knowing that she almost died. Too much to know that when he first pulled her into his arms, she wasn't breathing. Dead, effectively. It was just all too much.

He turned away from the city lights, and went to go back inside. He wasn't sure whether or not he'd go and find something else to try and clean, or whether he'd go straight to the lab, but he knew he couldn't stand beside her and feel so much like he'd failed her. It had, after all, been his idea for her to go with the young paramedic in the ambulance. It was his decision to send her to what was almost her death. He couldn't stand next to her and know that. Not yet.

"I can't..."

Her voice interrupted his leaving. He hadn't even taken two steps when she started to speak, but she broke off before she spoke what she really wanted to say. She got his attention, though. He stopped in his tracks the moment she spoke, and he turned back to her. This time, however, he was standing right behind her, with so little space between them that she could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

"I can't remember our last kiss." She continued, when she knew he wasn't leaving. Everything she had been emotional about that morning came spilling out of her. Everything she had told Johnny was now coming out to Reed. "All I could think about was that I was going to die, and I couldn't remember our last kiss. It sounds pathetic, I know, but...the last time we were together and happy...I want to be able to remember that...and I can't, Reed." She admitted to him, sounding just as emotional as he had done moments before. They both sighed, but she shuddered under the breath that brushed her skin. Reed felt it, as well. He knew it wasn't the midnight air that brought on that shudder. "I can't remember." She whispered, almost helplessly.

There was a silence, and Sue sighed again. However, she was rather surprised when two arms looped around her from behind. Her surprise faded, giving way to the relaxation that swept over her body from his embrace, and she settled back against him, her arms settling over his.

"It was a Thursday morning." He told her softly. His lips were right above her ear so he didn't need to raise his voice anymore. "You were wearing that ratty little M.I.T shirt you looked so good in - the one that had the hole in the back of the neck. You'd just washed your hair, and you smelt like...some kind of flower. I was running late for a meeting, and you said you were going to see me later...and you leaned into me, put your hand on my chest, and you kissed me. Soft. It was quick, kind of like a habit. You know, like we'd do it every day for the rest of our lives. Then you went back to drying your hair, and I went out. That was the last time we kissed...but it won't be the very last time."

"Sunflowers." Sue mumbled, leaning her head back against his shoulder as he held her. "My hair smelt like sunflowers. From my conditioner."

Reed lowered his face, close to the hair that, coincidently, had been recently washed. Inhaling deeply, he found that the same scent, the one he could remember vividly from that last kiss, filled him, overcoming his senses. "Sunflowers." He murmured in response, pulling her that much closer to him as he kissed the side of her neck.

She turned in his arms, wrapping her own around his back so that she could rest her head on his chest. Their height differences meant that, even after two years apart, she knew that when he held her, she could rest her head on the spot just below his throat. Another kiss landed on the top of her damp hair as he placed his arms around her again; this time stretching them and wrapping them around her several times, holding her tightly in a way that no other man could.

"I'm so glad you didn't die today." He whispered to her, holding her so close that people watching would think they were one person.

She closed her eyes against him. The feeling was gone now, and replaced with a warm, fuzzy feeling inside of her chest. She wasn't sure how to describe it, other than to say that she was, as she had told Johnny that morning, still in love with Reed. Only now, she knew that he was in love with her as well.

"Yeah..." She agreed, tightening her secure hold on him just as much as he had done, allowing his offered harbour of safety to calm her. "Yeah, me too."