Arthur didn't sleep well after the text message from Alfred. He thought that he should charge his mobile and reply to the message, but that would be useless. It was a little after four AM. Alfred would be sleeping. He thought instead that he should read the rest of the message, but also decided against it. If Alfred was asking for him to come over, he'd feel guilty that Alfred had been left to be depressed while Arthur and Erica had sex.
He climbed back in bed around four thirty. Sleep came after a time, but only when he thought that the body next to him wasn't Erica. It calmed his nerves imagining a different scenario. One where he went to Alfred's rescue, cheered him up with movies and boyish immaturity, and then they shared the same bed together. Maybe they even slept holding hands again.
In the morning Arthur was up before Erica. He had texted Alfred when he deemed the time proper for him to be awake, but he received no reply. Soon, Erica joined him in the kitchen. She was wearing Arthur's dusty green bathrobe.
"I hope you don't mind," she said meekly, gesturing to the robe.
Arthur shook his head. "No, not at all. Would you like some breakfast?"
Erica nodded. Arthur turned to the cupboards, pulling out a frying pan. He watched as Erica took a seat at the kitchen table. On instinct, Arthur almost told her to move to a different seat. That was Alfred's spot. But at the last minute he caught himself.
"Ah-You!" Erica looked up, confused. Arthur awkwardly thought of something else to say. "Tea?"
Erica smiled. "That'd be lovely."
Arthur stood in the kitchen, watching the eggs and sausages cook. His mind was elsewhere. He knew as soon as he'd tell Erica about the break-up, she'd want to go see Elizabeth to console her. And that was fine. Arthur was going to Alfred's. Only now, Arthur had no idea what to do with his own relationship. Yesterday afternoon he had been so sure of his decision. He was going to keep Alfred at arm's length while draw Erica closer to his heart.
Now it seemed as if everything was going the other way around. All he wanted to do was rush to Alfred's side. He couldn't get away from Erica fast enough. And that crushed him. Erica was so elated over last night's intercourse, but Arthur couldn't be more impassive about it. Hell, he had even thought of having sex with Alfred in the middle of sex.
God, what's wrong with me, he thought.
Arthur came to when he realized the eggs were burning. So much for that. He decided it was a pleasant spring day that was better spent outside a café than inside. Erica changed into the clothes she wore the previous day while Arthur put on fresh clothes. They set off after Arthur sprinkled some food into Gentleman's food dish.
On the way, Arthur's phone vibrated. Alfred had replied.
Hey. If you wanna come over, that's cool.
Erica glanced over. "Who is it?"
"Alfred," Arthur replied as he typed up a response. "He and Elizabeth broke up."
"What?" Erica stared at Arthur dumbstruck. "Just now?"
"Last night. Alfred says it was her so-"
"No way," Erica interjected. "Elizabeth loved him."
Arthur stumbled, almost dropping his phone. "Di-did she say she did? Alfred never told me…"
Erica shrugged. "She didn't have to. I could tell. A woman always can."
The couple was silent. An awkward, unanswered question hung in the air.
Do you love me?
If Erica had asked, Arthur would be truthful. He would say no. He only hoped that Erica didn't look at him imploringly, forcing Arthur to ask if she loved him. Of course she did. She had to have. Anyone that took all of this pain from the past months from Arthur had to love him if they didn't already leave him.
"I'm going to Alfred," Arthur chose to say instead. "I'm worried he's not doing so well. He doesn't seem the type to take well with these things."
Erica nodded. "Then I should go see Elizabeth. I hope she's okay."
Arthur nodded, hoping and praying Elizabeth didn't interfere. She claimed she wasn't going to let Alfred go, but then again, she had always known of Arthur's questionable attention to him. While he didn't doubt her affections for Alfred, there was still the matter that it had come at a very odd time. Even if what Erica had said about Elizabeth's love for him were true, there had never been any problems between the two.
During the awkward breakfast where Arthur forced a scone and tea down, he mulled over the idea that maybe, just maybe, Elizabeth was up to no good.
"Arthur?" Alfred asked, surprised as he opened his front door. There was a stick of Cadbury chocolate in his mouth and a tube of Smarties in both hands. "What're you doing here?"
Arthur held up a case of beer. "Since I wasn't here last night, I thought I would pop by to cheer you up."
Alfred laughed and moved aside for Arthur to come in. The flat was usually only semi-messy with a few dirty dishes and maybe some forgotten left socks, but today it was completely desecrated. Food hung off of dirty plates, stacked high. Pizza boxes littered the floor with candy wrappers in every nook and cranny. There was a noticeable stale smell. Arthur gawked at the sight.
"What… What happened here? Did you have a party?"
Matthew appeared from around the corner. He looked exhausted. His hair was slightly frazzled and his clothes were wrinkled as if he had slept in them. "When Al's upset, he eats. All night."
"Were you up all night with him?" Arthur asked. Matthew nodded and trudged down the hallway to his room, slamming the door, presumably to get some sleep. Arthur turned to Alfred. "You stayed up all night?"
Alfred dipped his head back to chug the Smarties. "I couldn't sleep."
Arthur put down the six-pack with a sigh. "I guess there's no need to drink given that you're drunk on food."
Alfred laughed. "I guess I should stop. I might gain weight."
"We wouldn't want that," Arthur said with a roll of his eyes. "Nothing like becoming the fat American, huh?"
It was then that Alfred lifted his shirt. Arthur had seen him shirtless, but only at night. Now in the daylight he could see Alfred's rippling pectorals and tan abs. How the man managed to stay tan in England was beyond Arthur. It certainly wasn't fake, though. Arthur was too close up to tell the difference.
"It'll all go to my sides! I'll get love handles! Look! I'm already getting flabby!"
"Alfred is a victim of American media telling everyone they're fat and ugly." Arthur jumped at Matthew's sudden reappearance. When had he emerged from his room? Either way, he had sided up next to Arthur with an unimpressed expression.
Arthur laughed at Matthew's comment. "I beg your pardon? Alfred, you are beaut- I mean not fat."
Alfred and Matthew both heard what Arthur hadn't meant to say. Arthur looked away as Alfred's face lit up in a red bloom, averting his eyes as well. Matthew glanced between the two before sliding over to the bookshelf where he pulled an overly large baby blue photo album.
"Arthur? You wanna see baby photos?"
"Matt!" Alfred exclaimed in embarrassment.
Arthur smiled and headed to the couch. He sat beside Matthew. "This should be entertaining."
Matthew opened to the first page where a young boy in overalls holding a stuffed polar bear stood staring up at the camera. It seemed so very nostalgic. The boy's innocent eyes were looking up at whoever was taking the photograph.
Arthur gasped and smiled. "Alfred, you're adorable!"
"That's me," Matthew said flatly.
Alfred snorted, taking the seat next to Arthur. He was finishing off the rest of his candy bar. Matthew turned the page. There were pictures of both boys in the bath, wearing old and worn pants, and staring at toys with wide and excited eyes. In one shot, Alfred was trying to hit an old tee-ball with an orange oversized plastic bat. Another was of him and Matthew passed out on a linoleum tile kitchen floor.
Arthur found himself smiling. He had never been introduced into someone's private life quite like this before. It made his chest warm.
"Why did you show me this?" Arthur asked when they were finished.
Matthew closed the album. "Well, I'd wanted to show you. We both had. We were waiting until you came over next, but it's been so long."
Arthur looked down feeling rather guilty. "I'm sorry."
Alfred put an arm around the back of the couch, his hands free of sweets. "Don't feel bad. You've been with Erica and I was with Lizzie."
"Speaking of which, if you don't mind my asking, but… what happened?" Arthur asked.
Matthew took that as his cue to leave. Alfred and Arthur didn't seem to notice. Alfred was playing with his sock absentmindedly. "I don't know. I thought things were fine. She seemed fine."
"Did she say anything when she broke up with you?"
Alfred shook his head. He picked at his sock enough to pull a thread loose. Arthur wanted to warn him that wasn't such a great idea, but instead kept his mouth shut. "She said my heart belongs to you, so there was no point in staying."
"What? She said she wasn't letting go of you," Arthur said. He felt his heart hammer at hearing Elizabeth's words. Now he was certain she was up to something and feared for Erica spending any more time with her.
There was a good chance Elizabeth was spilling her guts about everything. Possibly even about the conversation she had with Arthur only a few months prior.
Alfred shrugged. "What can I say? She just got fed up with me."
"You two never had any problems before, though," Arthur said.
Alfred was wringing his hands as he looked at nothing in particular. He seemed uncomfortable rather than upset. It was almost as if he was more nervous to be talking about his failed relationship with Arthur. Was he even concerned he was now single?
"Hey Artie?" Alfred asked suddenly. "I-is it okay if I hold your hand for a little while?"
Arthur was stunned. He didn't know what to say or how to react. It wasn't unusual that a man's girlfriend broke up with him and he sought out comfort from his best friend, however it was when he wanted to hold his hand. Arthur felt his heart begin to race. His mind conjured up the last time they had held hands. It had ended with them rubbing each other off through their pants on his couch.
It had almost destroyed them.
"Alfred…," Arthur started. He would remain strong. He had made an agreement with himself to steer clear of his betraying whims. "I don't think that would be wise…"
"Oh. Then…can I have a hug?"
Arthur chuckled. He could be so persistent. "Sure."
Alfred didn't just hug Arthur, he practically tackled him. Arthur yelped in surprise as he was pushed into the couch at the weight crushing into him as Alfred locked his arms around Arthur's neck. He buried his face into Arthur's neck, and made what Arthur hoped was not a whine. It was hard to pull his arms free. Still, he managed and awkwardly patted his back.
In the end, the boys had a movie marathon with Matthew and then went out for pizza and a few drinks. They had work in the morning and, after a long day, they all turned in early. Arthur was proud of himself for going home and sleeping in his own bed, ignoring the fact it still smelled of Erica. But as soon as his head hit the pillow he remembered a little detail that had eluded him all day.
He hadn't received one text message from Erica all day. Not once. He recalled sending one to her out of politeness asking for Elizabeth was doing, but never received a reply. He hoped that it was just her mobile had died, and not anything more dreadful. As he fell asleep, his gut twisted up into a hard rock, lodging itself into his throat.
It was going to be a long night again.
Come morning Arthur found himself irritable and cranky. He just wanted to call in sick and stay home, nursing a cup of tea all day, curling up in his bed with a book. That sounded lovely. He hadn't had a day like that in some time, hat with dating Erica and hanging out with Alfred, he had gone from no social life to too full a life.
In the end, responsibility won out and Arthur dragged himself to work. Perhaps sitting in front of a computer all day and answering phone calls would force that tight knot resting on his conscience away. As it turned out, he would never get the chance.
The minute he stepped into his cubicle, Kiku was at the corner calling him into his office. Heads turned, watching Arthur walk to the office. He stopped short when he saw Erica sitting in one of the two chairs in front of Kiku's desk.
"Please, have a seat." Kiku gestured to the open chair as he closed the door behind Arthur. Arthur took the seat and glanced at Erica. She looked nervous as well. Kiku sat behind his desk and stared at them both seriously. "I've called you both here because I have received a tip from a trusted source that you two have been dating for four months."
Arthur stiffened, clenching his pants slightly. He tried to show minimal signs of reactions. "May I ask who said this?"
"I'm sorry, that's private," Kiku replied. His tone was stern, but Arthur noted a hint of disappointment. "Now, is this information true?"
Arthur turned to look at Erica. She looked at him. Her eyes looked desperate and sad and pleading. She didn't want him to tell, but what was he to say? Could he defy his own boss?
Erica's words from the other day. "Am I not good enough?"
If Arthur were to say anything right this moment and bring their relationship to light, one of them could be transferred. Or worse, they'd lose their job. Arthur was pained to make this choice, but something struck him.
If he were to say something and be transferred, he'd be more upset not seeing Alfred, not Erica.
"Yes, it's true," Arthur replied. He looked away, but caught the crushed look on Erica's face. "We've been together for four months."
Kiku sighed. "I'm sorry… I hate to ask this, but unless one of you transfers, I'll have to fire you. The rules are clear."
Out of his peripheral Arthur could see Erica look at him once more. Her expression was almost desperate now.
"I see," Arthur said with a sigh. He dropped his head.
He was about to raise it and ask that he just be fired rather than move when Erica spoke up first. "Please, Mr. Honda, I'd like to be transferred to the Switzerland branch."
Arthur snapped his head up. He turned to Erica, his mouth slightly agape, but now she had turned away. Or perhaps she had always been turned away. In that instant Arthur knew. She was leaving.
She was leaving and it was effortless.
He wasn't putting up a fight to stop this from happening. Even as Kiku reasoned with her that she could transfer to France or the small Scotland branch so she didn't have the burden of moving so far, but she was relentless. She never looked his way. She wasn't looking back.
"Well… I guess that's that. I'm sorry," Kiku said sadly. He really did look troubled to be putting the couple into an awkward position. He stood up with a sigh. "Erica, I'll give you the rest of the day to clear out your things. If you need any help paying off any bills, please let me know. I will help in any way I can until you move."
Erica smiled, nodded, and stood up to leave. Arthur could only watch her in shock. The girl that had clung to him and their relationship for four months had just tossed it all away so easily. And just like that Arthur felt everything coming to a head.
He scrambled from his seat and followed Erica out the door. He felt pathetic and limp as he tried to keep pace with her. He reached out to grab her arm, stopping her.
"Erica, wait. That's it?" he asked. "That's…"
"There was never an 'it' to start with," Erica said. Her voice sounded hollow and distant. All of that determination in Kiku's office had deflated. It was as if she hadn't expected Arthur to follow her and stop her. She wasn't ready, so she didn't turn to face him. "You were never here, Arthur."
"What do you mean?" he whispered. "Of course I was…"
"No." Erica turned. Her smile was empty and her eyes were vast with betrayal. A tear slipped out. "No, you weren't. Elizabeth told me everything. She tipped off Kiku…"
Arthur wasn't surprised. He had figured it out from the moment he heard Kiku spoke of it. But he had no time to dwell on her intentions, enigmatic as they may be.
"What…? I don't…"
Erica lowered her eyes. Around them, heads were popping up over their walls. Alfred had actually begun coming out of his cubicle, inching closer behind Erica. She kept her voice low in order to make sure no one heard her.
"I knew from the start. And then you lied to me…for four months. You lied to my face the other night and then you actually…" Erica's voice wavered, but she persisted through it. "You've been in love with Alfred the entire time. How could you…?"
Arthur had no response. He could deny everything. Try and make everything work again. Prove to no one that he was something fake. Gain an empty satisfaction. But in the end, he was tired of that.
He was tired of it all. Of playing Erica. Of hurting Alfred. Of lying to himself.
But what could he say? What would ease Erica's hurt and lessen his betrayal? Nothing. Because not even his weak apology was enough to fix anything. There was no more fixing. And he watched as Erica left, knowing that was the best (and only) way to do anything. The faster she was out of his life and he out of hers, the better off they were.
Alfred watched as Erica brushed past him. She chanced a tearful look his way and mumbled, "Take care of him", but Alfred couldn't hear her. He furrowed his brow in confused, and then moved to Arthur.
"Hey… Arthur? You okay?"
Arthur's head had dropped. He didn't want to look at Alfred. He couldn't. Everything was all too fragile. Everything was so unstable. What was right, what was wrong, up down sideways left right diagonal straight and curved. Curved.
Curved.
Straight.
"I need a drink," Arthur mused aloud. He put a hand to his face, exhaling his entire soul out of his body. "Erica broke up with me."
"What?" Alfred pulled Arthur into a sudden hug. He rubbed his back and gripped his nails into his suit. "Dude, do you need to go home or something or should I get you water or some tea?"
Arthur shook his head. "I just need to get out of here…"
Alfred looked up, seeing Kiku still standing by his door. He had seen and heard the entire ordeal go down. He was frowning with his arms crossed, lost in thought about what had transpired.
"Kiku?" Alfred's voice returned him to attention. "Can Arthur and I head out early? He got dumped and I was dumped yesterday. I think we both need some drinks."
"Of course," Kiku replied.
But it wasn't a drink either wanted. It was answers. Answers to questions that were getting buried under pain and frustration and dead ends. But Arthur and Alfred were single now. There were no more ties, no more female figures to throw them off. That didn't automatically mean Arthur was to fling himself into Alfred's arms.
For as much as he craved the man's comfort, his arms were the last place he wanted to be. He was disgusted with everything. With Erica for not just breaking it off sooner if she bloody well knew, with Elizabeth for sneaking around and then mucking it all up when he had it planned out, with Alfred for being so fucking perfect for him, and with himself for being himself.
But mainly he was lost. None of his plans in life were working. He was used to being alone. No attachments. And whatever attachment he had would soon fade away or violently pass out of his life. And yet he wanted nothing more than to forever be by Alfred's side, if only to feel that nagging pain in his chest go away.
The closer he got to Alfred, though, the closer he turned back to religion and prayed and wondered and asked God if this was right. If this was His plan. He couldn't blame God, there'd be no reason to. He loved Him. He trusted Him.
So for now he went along with His plans.
Hoshiko2's cents: What an update huh? I'm telling you right now, the next update will be as much fun, if not more. Haha. Arthur is slowly figuring things out. The next chapter will kind of decide just what he's learned so far. Keep in mind, we're almost halfway done.
Oh, just a pimping out of my other new series. I have a mini-series I'm updating as well. It comes out every Sunday, but it will only be four chapters long. This Sunday will be the third update. It's called Hospital Flowers (yup, another story with an Owl City song name-although this time I swear I named it from just the title, and THEN I heard the song and realized it fit well with the story. Lol). I hope you check it out and enjoy! Thanks!
