What is life? A madness. What is life? An illusion, a shadow, a story. And the greatest good is little enough; for all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams.
-Pedro Calderon de la Barca
Izaya Orihara was a man who was known to fake almost anything. A kind face, a helping nature, and even feelings. But, when he saw Tsumugi and Shizuo alone, that night, Tsumugi a little too close with the man he despised most, and coming from someone who happened to love human beings, this was extreme. It was easy to get angry, and remain angry at anything at all. But when it came to minute things that needed to be observed, like, to be angry with the right person, and at the right decree, and at the right time and for the right purpose, human beings falter most at this path. Because anger is and will always will be difficult and not easy.
Tsumugi knew any kind of explanation she fed Izaya right then would not reach his brain, but only travel off his ears, and now that Shizuo was here, there was no way she can prevent this from being anything less than barbaric. Let alone, she still tried. "Izaya." She said, and the male didn't even glance at her. Shizuo didn't move, for he knew what had happened just then was something too hard for the girl beside him could digest. He was furious though, to actually see Izaya in town. "What are you doing here, Izaya?" Shizuo threateningly asked, and Tsumugi closed her eyes.
She was shivering, and she didn't say a word. She didn't want Izaya to fight, and she didn't want any sort of violence happening before her. She breathed hard, her face red, and her head spinning. She shut her eyes as tightly as she could, and the red scarf pressed to her face. She placed her hands in front of her face and whimpered slightly, a sound which was almost inaudible. She was afraid, and if only Izaya noticed this, things would turn for the worse.
'Please notice me, Izaya.' Was all Tsumugi could think about. Her legs shivered, and she stepped backward, and her eyes burnt when she opened them. She could see Izaya holding his pocket knife, and Shizuo trying to grab something off the road. "Stop." She said, a sound ignored just as she expected.
It was too much to take. Tsumugi closed her eyes, groaning, her body shivering like a scared rabbit. She was afraid. She knew Izaya was in no way strong enough to kill Shizuo, and she knew right then, with his state of mind, angry and confused, Izaya's mind would more likely be aggressive rather than smart. Izaya took notice of the girl this time, and he frowned hard. "You're shaking like a bunny, Mugi-chan." Izaya commented, and his eyes suddenly widened. This was it. He had discovered it.
Tsumugi laughed once, and her green eyes met his brownish-red ones. "You figured it out, that's amazing, Iza-kun." Tsumugi's eyes welled with tears and she smiled widely, letting tears fall. "You're afraid…" Izaya said, mostly to himself, letting it sink in. Shizuo hated this. He didn't want to be a part of it, but with the little amount of sanity that was left in him, he chose to walk away. Izaya walked toward the girl and observed her face, she was afraid. She was shaking, and she had a smile on her face which admitted defeat. "You should be pleased. You've finally figured out what scares me." He didn't understand.
"What scares you?" He asked, his voice a whisper.
"You. Izaya. You scare me." She admitted and Izaya didn't understand. He couldn't scare her, he tried to hurt her so many times, but she never even flinched, and now she says that he was the one who scared her, his confusion showed itself on his face and Tsumugi saw it. "I've tried hurting you so many times-""No, no…it's not that. I'm afraid of what can happen to you Izaya, what will happen. What could happen because of you, and after that you would leave me…" Tsumugi spoke softly and Izaya gulped.
"I love you, Izaya. It's always been that way all this time, but I know you don't. I want to grow old with you, watch you smile and live your life to the fullest, and at the same time you want nothing but to watch me suffer, and find out what scares me. Sometimes, I don't even know why I love you, and I know I'm not supposed to, because of so many reasons, but every time I look at you, I end up falling even harder. I'm not supposed to care about you, I'm not supposed to wonder what we could be, but I can't help it, Izaya, I love you. And even for a person like me, something as paradoxical as love can make sense, and to you, a smart person who uses reasons to understand things, love is the one thing you stray away from. And, here I am, keeping the end of my bargain. I will leave Ikebukuro, for good." And Tsumugi walked away, not out of the street, but out of Izaya's life.
He could have said something, anything, but his body was too late to react. But, his body found its way home, and somehow, it even found its way to the bedroom to catch the night's sleep. He woke up the next day, feeling like the world had left him. There was nothing he could say, he believed all this while that he didn't love her, and now that she was 'apparently' gone from him, he needed it back. He needed to be loved again, and he needed Tsumugi. But, this was something his mind wouldn't agree with and his heart was mute. "Something eating you?" Namie asked him, and Izaya didn't react. "Don't feel like playing with anyone?" Izaya didn't say anything.
Namie sighed and before she could throw him another question, Izaya spoke, "Tsumugi left me."
She left Ikebukuro, not him. Izaya was talking just out of a state of immense confusion and depression. "Serves you right. You never treated her with the respect she deserved, and that girl loved you no less, so she needed more praise than most women." Namie uttered making Izaya crawl back into his depression hole.
But there were people in this earth that didn't take depression in the usual way. Eating, and sulking. People like Izaya grew angrier and more unpredictable when they're depressed. And right then, Izaya didn't even know he was supposed to be depressed. He didn't love Tsumugi. He didn't love Tsumugi-"I didn't love her-""Idiot. You were always stuck up with the idea that you don't love her. But, you did. I or anyone could tell for that matter." Namie said, and Izaya frowned. He checked his phone, and saw that there were no texts from Tsumugi.
And none from Mizore as well.
That was when Izaya needed to divert his mind off to something that would actually distract him. Mizore's identity. And to most people and to how they would judge or take being played with, Izaya wanted nothing more than to watch Mizore burn for actually playing with his life. It took Izaya ten minutes to locate Tetsuya Hayashi, and that was when Izaya smirked for the first time that day. "You're insane." He ignored Namie's usual description about him, and Izaya stood up. "I need to visit someone, Namie." He said, and walked out.
Once upon a time, in a land far away, there lived two princesses who were deprived of love. They got everything they needed, food at the snap of their finger, and clothes, the most extravagant across the lands. They had someone to brush their long brunette locks and they had someone to help them put on their slippers. The sisters would love to see the outside world, but neither of them asked thinking the latter was happy living inside the castle.
One day, the elder sister took the courage to ask her younger sister the question she had been meaning to ask from a long time. "Can we go out, today?" The sister agreed, and they went to the King, who declined their wish. "Not today, tomorrow." He would say, and the sisters would smile, wishing upon tomorrow, making plans and defining their decree of fun that they would have in the outside world.
The next day, the sisters went to the King, and repeated their question. "Can we go out today?" The King declined and smiled at his children. "Not today, tomorrow." The sisters were a little distressed, but they believed their father and walked back into their rooms, living on with the same plans that they were joyfully living inside their minds.
The next day came, and the sisters were born with the same amount f hope they had when the idea came to them, and they asked their father the same question. But, this time, the answer was the same, but the younger sister did not suspect a thing that her father told her. It was the elder sister, the more curious one who made up notions in her mind. And when the two walked back into their rooms, it was the elder sister who finally had deduced. "Our father is lying to us." She said to her sleeping sister, and she snuck out of the castle. She walked outside, and stepped on the cold grass, soft under her feet. She smelt the air, fresh and had a tinge of moisture in the air. She could not see what the outside looked like, for the night had no moon. But, the morning came, and the elder sister was in for a shock.
She saw that the castle she thought she lived in was no castle, but a dungeon. She saw that the moist ground she was standing on was no fresh grass, but of blood and human carcass. The air did not smell fresh anymore, it smelt of blood and the sooner she guessed where she had been, the sooner she ran back into the place she was falsely stationed in.
Her sister was nowhere to be found. "You do not have a sister." The King, no, her father told her. "But, I do." The father smiled at her and said, "If so, then what is her name?" The sister did not know.
"I don't know." The father smiled more and said, "What is her name?" The sister did not know. "I don't know." "Then you don't have a sister. You cannot have a sister. No one can go out from here. That way-"He pointed to the outside. "-Madness lies." But the elder sister knew this man was lying. She knew she had a sister, and she ran into what had been her room and found no one.
And when she returned, she saw no one there again.
She was alone, in that dungeon, not knowing why she was here anymore. She walked to the terrace, to the place her sister and she had walked to all the time. She was never afraid of heights, but her sister was. She looked down the building, and saw nothing that she had once seen before. It was then that it struck to her. She had been living a lie, all her life. For times she did not know had passed. For things had moved on, on the outside, but she did not know. For that girl had always been inside, and outside madness lay waiting for her, and the sister believed two things. "I will find my father. And through him, my sister." She believed that was the only action that was left. "And when I find my father, I will kill him." She will kill him, not for the life she had lived. But, for the life she could have lived, if not for him. And for the life he had taken away from her, in the name of madness. For madness never lay outside, but it did within.
A/N: Oooh, what has this author written here? :3
I know, but as usual, I won't say.
Anyways, we're kind of at the end. I'm not sure how many more chapters, but I know there aren't many more left.
Those who reviewed, read and loved this story, I love you.
Keep reviewing! :)
