Not Afraid
Chapter Nine
Not afraid, I'm not afraid
To take a stand, to take a stand
Everybody, everybody
Come take my hand, come take my hand
~ Marshall Mathers ~
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Rachel
Location: Base
Time: 6:00 pm
Rachel found herself sitting next to her daughter in near silence. She was internally seething, but she was trying to hide her anger from her daughter. She didn't know why she was still so angry, normally she wasn't one to hold grudges. Normally she was a very forgiving person. Her fear was that she didn't like having to share Gianna's attention, other then to her own parents. Now her friends seemed to slip right into Gianna's life and the little girl was embracing the attention.
Rachel still felt awkward in Puck's presents, her phone call with her father had her on edge, Barbra's condition had deteriorated significantly. And lets not forget the Zombies. Inwardly groaning at her own musings she finished her food, sat back and laid her head on the cushion on the padded booth. She smiled when she felt Gianna's little hand slip into hers and squeeze her fingers. She gently squeezed back listening to the conversation going on at the table currently about ducks.
Two tables over she was able to overhear that their was 'nothing to do' from two teenage boys, also she was able to hear a few girls gossiping about how cute the boys here on base were. That little bit of teenage life, seemed to lighten her mood. She had been right to safe as many people as she could. Her fathers had been wrong.
She loved them, but Rachel had been taking care of herself for a long time. Making her own decisions for a very long time. They had raised her this way, for this reasons. Maybe not to defy them, per say. But to be able to think for herself, and to make difficult decisions.
"That's better Momma." Gianna giggled and leaned her head into the crook of her arm. "I lost you there for a minute, but you always come back."
"Always baby, Momma could never stay away. Your just too cute and irresistible ." Rachel leaned over and kissed the little girl.
"How about a song, that always makes you feel better." Rachel looked up to see Leroy and Hiram standing over her. She schooled her face, façade of happiness firmly in place.
"Hello Dad, Daddy." Rachel said looking up with a smile. "Are you going to join us?"
"Yes, Shel and Sue are heading this way too." Leroy sat down next to Rachel and pulled Gianna into his arms cuddling her and kissing her loudly over and over again causing the little girl to giggle. "Are you going to sing, it would bring us all a little peace."
"I don't think anyone wants that daddy." Rachel laughed and sipped her water.
"Oh come on Berry you know you want to." Santana laughed at her, then frowned when Quinn kicked her and Brittany shot her a dirty look. "What you know she wants to."
"San!" Brittany pouted. "Just cause we want her to sing doesn't mean she wants to." the tall blonde shot the little diva a sympathetic look. "Rachie, you don't listen to her."
Rachel looked at her parents, then her friends and then her daughter, who just smiled and nodded. "Ok." she smiled kissed the little girl and stood, as Sylvester family joined them. "Stay here baby."
"K, momma." Gianna sat down firmly in Leroy's lap.
Rachel, took a few steps away from her table. Racking her brain for a song that she was familiar with to be able to belt it out from memory, and maybe inspire the people around her. Taking a deep breathe, Rachel began to sing softly her eyes closed.
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly
The room became quite, she tuned the world around her out and then became the song.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Quinn
Location: Base
Time: 6:30 pm
The blonde lost herself in the sweet sound of Rachel's voice. She wasn't overly surprised when she began rapping the second part of the song. Quinn hadn't been about to forget the New Year's performance, and though she had thought it had been a fluke she could see that it wasn't.
I wish today it will rain all day
Maybe that will kinda make the pain go away
Trying to forgive you for abandoning me
Praying but I think I'm still an angel away
Angel away, yeah strange in a way
Quinn quickly realized she wasn't the only one that was that was infatuated with the girl, the mystery that was Rachel Berry. The room was silent, people had stopped in their tracks and all turned to watch her, to listen, to lose themselves for a few minutes in the middle of this madness.
Maybe that is why I chase strangers away
They got their guns out aiming at me
But I become Neo when they're aiming at me
Me, me, me against them
Me against enemies, me against friends
Somehow they both seem to become one
A sea full of sharks and they all smell blood
They start coming and I start rising
Must be surprising, I'm just amazing
I win, thrive, soar, higher, higher, higher
More fire
Rachel switched to again sing softly, smiling when she felt Becky take her hand and hold her as the girl continued to sing. Quinn watched as Kori, JBI, Artie, Britt and Puck all joined in the middle of the food court holding hands as Rachel sang. They picked up the chorus and sang with her just as softly.
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly
Rachel opened her eyes there were tears rolling down her face as she took in the people around her. Grinning at Gianna who had jumped off the table she had been standing on watch better she launched herself at her momma legs and held her tight.
Everybody wanna try to box me in
Suffocating every time it locks me in
Painting their own pictures then they crop me in
But I will remain where the top begins
Cause I am not a word, I am not a line
I am not a girl that can ever be defined
I am not fly, I am levitation
I represent an entire generation
I hear the criticism loud and clear
That is how I know that the time is near
So we become alive in a time of fear
And I ain't got no time to spare
Cry my eyes out for days upon days
Such a heavy burden placed upon me
But when you go hard your nay's become yay's
Quinn, Beth, Santana and Rachel's parents all joined them group of people who surrounded Rachel and sang the reminder of the song . Being strong, showing and inspiring the people who had so far survived, just so like Rachel Freaking Berry.
We came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
We came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
We came to win
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
Get ready for it
We came to win
We came to win, to fight, to conquer, to thrive
We came to win, to survive, to prosper, to rise
To fly
To fly
The food court came to it's feet and there was clapping, and tears. It was a moment that Quinn would remember for a long time. It wasn't a popular song to everyone in the room, and the rapping seemed to be hard for the older generation. But the message was received nonetheless. United, they would fight, prosper, and survive.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Mr. Schue
Location: Base
Time: 6:45 pm
He sat with Emma both of them having tears rolling down their faces. To see the beacon of light in the middle of this nightmare was such a relief. To see his Glee kids standing together and brining the message of survival brought a moment of peace to him as Emma kissed his cheek. "I love you Emma, I'm sorry that we're in the middle of this mess, I should have married you the minute I had the chance."
"I love you too, and I wish we had before the world fell apart, but we have one another now, and that is more then a lot of the rest of the world. More importantly we have hope, and Rachel just reminded us of that."
Will smiled and kissed Emma softly, so lucky to be where he was, with the woman he loved. "We really are one of the lucky ones."
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Shelby
Location: Base
Time: 7:00 pm
Shelby smiled over at her daughter, to her wife, her children and finally her granddaughter. The felt the blessing for what they were, was it going to be difficult from now on? Was each day going to be more difficult and a constant battle, yes. But at this moment they had one another, they were currently safe, and she knew that they had a plan to continue to survive.
"Come on guys lets finish dinner and then head upstairs." she snagged and arm around each of her children and headed back to the table. They were the firsts to return, but soon they were surrounded by their friends and family.
Shelby watched Rachel as she headed back with Gianna swinging on her mothers arm. Now Shelby was the first one to admit that Gianna weighed less then almost nothing. But Rachel just carried on as if the little girl weighed nothing as she conversed with Jacob and Kori.
"I remember those days." Sue whispered in her ear. "Of being invincible."
"I should hope so, it was earlier today." Shelby laughed.
"Hey you." Sue snapped lovingly at her wife.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Rachel
Location: Base
Time: 8 pm
Rachel placed a kiss on her sleeping daughter's cheek then nodded to her Dads who where sitting playing a quiet game of Chess on their bed. "I'll be back by curfew, do you mind keeping and eyes on Gianna?"
"No, we're going to stay here, you'll be back before midnight? And you aren't to leave the base."
"Yes, Sir." Rachel leaned in and placed a kiss on each of their cheeks. She nodded to both Shelby and Sue who were snuggled together reading on their bed, they smiled at her as she headed out the door.
She headed down the stairs and reached the command center knocking waiting to for the door to be answered. "Captain, the Colonel is expecting you."
"Reyes." Rachel stepped into the room, going directly to where the Colonel had his office. "Good evening Colonel."
"Berry I was expecting you hours ago." he said through clenched teeth. "You're aware of the shit storm that would happen.."
"I'm going to stop you right there Jackson." Rachel said sitting on the desk and holding out her hand for the folder. "Give me the run down of the base and what the feed back chatter that's been reported." Rachel didn't need to look up to feel the Colonel agitation with her it was in the air. She ignored it and waited for him to speak as she read over the folder in her hands.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Rachel
Location: Base
Time: 9 pm
Rachel let herself out if the command center and headed to where the medical facility was set up in the Dillard's store at the west side of the mall. She recalled the schedule and remembered that Dr. Lopez wouldn't be on duty at the moment, and was relieved. She didn't need any questions for her visit. She highly doubted any of the other medical staff would give her a second glance. She slipped passed a set of curtains that labeled the space labeled as room five.
"Hey Rach." Artie greeted from the bed. He was sitting playing angry birds on his phone.
"Abrams." Rachel hopped onto the bed. "How are you feeling." she rested her hand on the boys immobile leg.
"As expected. There hasn't been any change with the type of treatment we're trying but we're not giving up." he shrugged his shoulders.
"Sorry about that, Dad was pretty sure they had a break through with the last batch." Rachel frowned and looked at the curtain.
"It's ok, I mean it's already better then it was a few years ago, it's working …it's just a slow progress."
Rachel nodded her head in agreement and looked at the curtain again. "Abrams you trust me right?"
"That's a silly question Captain." Artie looked at her slightly annoyed. "Considering I wouldn't be here if it hadn't been for you, Yes I trust you."
Rachel nodded hopped off the bed and then went over to the curtain again and quickly looked out the 'room' when she saw that the area was empty she headed back to Artie. "OK, I don't have long before they come in here on their rounds. There is a new treatment that I would like you to try," she sighed and closed her eyes. "It's complicated and I don't want the others knowing about it, its straight from the Berry Lab, and top secret."
"Cool."
"There's a side effect, it can be very painful. Which is why I would like your permission to put you in a medicated coma for 48 hours. You'll need to be closely monitored which I'll have one of my father's do, or one of their personal nurses."
"I'm down."
"You're not worried that I could be trying to like kill you?"
"You could have long before now, plus it isn't within you, which is part of the reason you want to put me in a coma, you don't want me to be in pain, defiantly not going to kill me."
"Alright Brat." Rachel muttered. She walked over to the boys Iv and pulled the hidden vial that contained the medicine that would place him in a medicated coma. "Knock out drugs courtesy of the Berry Lab." she whispered as she slowly dispensed the drug into the IV counting slowly as she pressed the plunger. "Be strong, never surrender see you on the other side." she leaned in and kissed him on his forehead as his body began to relax sinking further into the bed.
She took out the syringe and recapped it tossing the vial into the red box that was attached to the wall near the bed. She pulled opened Artie's chart and scribbled a notation from her father that they were attempting a new treatment that required a medicated coma, forging her fathers signature and writing style. She glanced back at her watch noticing that only three minutes had passed since she had administrated the meds to Artie.
She slipped the chart back in place, coming to stand next to her friend. She pulled the blanket up and tucked him in, as his body sighed contently. She sat on the edge of the bed resting her hand on his hand over the cover as she waited for the 10 minutes to pass to administer the other treatment. When the time was up she repeated the previous process and administered the meds again into his IV, but this time she pocketed the vial, kissed the boy on the cheek and then left the room. Not wanting to get caught in the room with the now comatose teenager.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Santana
Location: Base
Time: 9:20 pm
Santana leaned against the wall outside the room that she had seen Rachel slipped into about 15 minutes ago. She didn't know what the girl was up to. She had followed her when she had noticed her leaving the command post. It wasn't that she was stalking the girl, or that she thought that Rachel was acting weird. It was just that she really needed to talk to her about this morning. And it wasn't easy getting the girl alone. So when the girl popped out from behind the curtain she waited for her then fell in line next to her.
"Lopez." Rachel said softly still mindful of where she was, and that the patients needed their rest. She wasn't about to be loud It what was now a hospital ward.
"Can I talk you?" she asked just as quietly.
"Not here." Rachel said leading the way out of the store and heading to hidden doorway in-between two stores. "Ok what do you want." she demanded as she headed down a well lit concrete hallway.
"wait where are we?" Santana asked looking around. "Where are we going?"
"We're in the maintenance hallway for the malls, and where heading this way." Rachel mocked as they walked in silence as apparently Santana was content trying to understand the maze that Rachel was leading her in.
"Seriously I think we need to talk." Santana said softly.
"I'm not really in the mood, Lopez. Just spit it out so that we can get over this and go on with our lives." Rachel muttered stopping and looking at her. "Listen we both said things that we shouldn't have this morning," Rachel shrugged. "It isn't a big deal we'll get over it. And we move on."
Santana watched the girl in front of her, her hands were stuffed deep in the pockets of the hoodie that she was wearing. The diva's chocolate eyes speared into hers. There where no secrets, that she was able to hide from the girl, her soul was bared to the tiny brunette.
Rachel sucked in her breath and backed away from the girl. "Oh no you don't." she shook her head and tried to open the door behind her. "Lopez you stop this right now. You go back to your room!"
Santana watched as the door opened and then slammed shut in her face. She was shocked, she stared at the door. What the fuck just happened. Annoyed with herself for letting things get out of hand. She grabbed the handle of the door, and shoved against it surprised when it opened with no issues.
She entered the room, coming to a complete stop in shock. The room was clearly an office. And it was clearly Rachel's office. It was decorated in pictures of her life. There was a picture of herself and the Berry men. A picture of Shelby, Sue and their kids. Pictures of Puck and Berry, Berry and Britt, then some of the three of them. There were pictures of Berry, Britt, Q and herself. Pictures of the elite team. And easily 2 dozen pictures of Gianna all over the walls. The walls were painted in a light orchid, the furniture was a beautiful dark cherry color. There was a massive desk, with a matching credenza and a large office chair taking up the majority of the room.
Santana took in the room in shock there was a large leather sofa and a corner of the room that was clearly set up for Gianna with toys, puzzles, paints, crayons, an easel, and good lord was that a laptop?
The room was pretty large and there where clearly doors that led to other rooms, the question was where the hell was Berry. She followed the sound of running water and ended up in moderate sized personal bathroom. It was just as tastefully decorated. Well she found Berry.
"Lopez what are you doing in here?"
"I-I wasn't finished talking." Santana muttered unable to take her eyes off the very naked woman in front of her soaking wet from the shower that was pouring down on her.
"Well I'm not exactly dressed for a chit chat at the moment." Rachel said through clenched teeth. "Get out."
"No, I want to talk."
Santana watched as the girl rolled her eyes and quickly went about taking a quick shower, it was in the middle of washing her hair that the girl called out. "I'm waiting what was so fucking important that you barged in here."
"What do your tattoos mean? Why do you have so many." Santana asked coming closer to the shower as if compelled.
"Seriously that is what you want to talk about?" she demanded her eyes closed as she rinsed the shampoo out of her hair. "They're personal and I don't want to talk about them." She arched to get the rest of the shampoo, and Santana swallowed forcefully holding back a groan. Rachel's naked body was amazing, her nipples were erect and how she hid how large her breasts where, Santana had no idea. Her 6 pack shifted and tightened with the movement as the girl rinsed the ass length hair. Her skin was broken out in goose bumps. The water must be cold. "You're staring."
Santana snapped her eyes to meet Rachel's only the glass separating them as they stared at one another. Santana didn't think she just opened the glass door and stepped into the shower closing the distance between them. She slid her hand into Rachel's hair and tugged the girls neck back. Their eyes never leaving one another Santana fused their lips together, licking Rachel's bottom lip. Taking advantage when the little brunette moaned, slipping past the barrier of her lips and caressed their tongues together.
Rachel's control seemed to have snapped because she arched up and ensnared Santana as she her fingers shot the Latina's hair and demanded more purchase of the kiss. The movement caused the very naked body of Rachel Berry to press into Santana who groaned and felt her eyes roll into the back of her head, even though they were closed in pleasure.
Pulling away for air Santana ran kissed down the girls face and to her neck. She planted her lips on the girls pulse point and bit down.
"Fuck." Rachel shivered at the contact and held the girl tighter urging the girl to use more pressure. Rachel ran her fingers down the girls now exposed back. When had she lost her shirt? Rachel didn't care their naked breasts were unequivocally against one another. Rachel felt her nipple ring graze against Santana's breast.
"You have a nipple ring?" Santana demanded pulling back to see. "How the fuck did I miss that?" she looked a the clear glass nipple ring. "Always the original." she muttered bending down to take the nipple into her mouth. "So hot." she muttered as she flicked her tongue around the nipple and tugged on the ring with her teeth.
"Baise-moi!" Rachel panted falling back against the cold tile hissing with pleasure and shock. She arched her body into Santana again wanting more of the sensation that the girl was providing.
Santana smirked around the nipple in her mouth and with her right hand started to massage and tug on the other nipple, which interestingly enough did not have a nipple ring. The sounds and the feel of Rachel's body against her own was having a devastating effect on the Latina.
Seems the diva was a mind reader because within seconds her yoga pants and lace panties were nevermore and she was running her bare thigh against her exposed core. The taller brunette's head shot back. "Oh mi Dios, Rachel. No se detenga!"
"No temas petardo." Rachel whispered against Santana's collarbone. Santana whimpers at the words as they caress her bared skin.
"You speaking multiple languages is sexy as fuck." she mutters grabbing Rachel's waist and lifting the girl in the air, both groaning when there centers connected when Rachel wrapped her legs around Santana's waist.
Rachel chuckled darkly and wrapped one arm around Santana's neck then wiggled her other hand between their bodies and arching she slammed three fingers into her lovers body as she rocked her entire body against her own hand forcing it to penetrate with longer strokes. The Latina cursing in Spanish and English and meeting her thrust for thrust was her reward and she bit down on the girls shoulder at the glorious feeling of the friction she was feeling from their rocking hips and her own hand hitting her own clit, and the feeling of being shoved against the cold tile wall with each thrust.
"Harder." Santana pleaded as she panted her body taunt her face inches from Rachel's ear, seeing the shiver she caused she ran her tongue along the shell of that ear and she would have chuckled and smirked at the effect it caused Rachel's body. But the direct result of Rachel's body shaking and shivering was her absolute determination to do exactly what Santana requested that quickly had both girls out of breath, panting and screaming each others name as their bodies convulsed.
Tuesday January 4th, 2012
POV: Rachel
Location: Rachel's Base Office
Time: 10:20 pm
Rachel's entire body went lax at the amazing feeling of being completely satisfied. The orgasm that she had just experiences was on her top 10 list. Chucking she unwrapped her legs from the girl who was still recovering. "Well you live up to your reputation." Rachel kissed the dazed girl on the lips, then turned into the water. She adjusted the water so that is was warmer as she began to wash her body.
She watched as Santana started composing herself as she leaned against the wall still breathing heavily. She finished then smiling she handed the loofah to Santana, with a wink as she stepped out of the shower and reached for a bath sheet. Once she was fully covered she headed back into the office and then slipped behind one of the doors to the left of her office and ignoring the large king sized bed in the small room she headed to her small closet and pulled out two sets of work out clothes and then heads back into the bathroom and left out a set for Santana.
She watched the girl for a few minutes through the glass, Santana was still watching her as she was washing her body. Rachel nodded to the clothes, then left the room to head into her bedroom to change into the dry clothes.
She was sitting at her desk going over some reports when Santana reappeared. The usually cocky girl was leaning against the door frame. Rachel looked up at her and frowned. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing...I mean ..I…fuck this is awkward" the Latina admitted with a blush.
"It doesn't have to be. We're both adults. We wanted a distraction and a form of release. We go it."
"What about Brittany."
"Well there is that, I don't think she will take this well. I had hope to avoid this, to be honest with you. I'll leave it to you considering it's your relationship. Britt is usually pretty open minded about things so I don't think you should hide it, that I find usually makes things worse. However since I don't see this ever happening again, I don't think that hurting her over something this trivial would possibly be a mistake. She loves you very much Santana."
"Brittany loves you too." Santana muttered. Then she narrowed her eyes. "Sleeping with me isn't trivial, Berry. I was in there with you. I know how fucking good it was."
"Be that as it may. It isn't going to happen again." Rachel said not looking up from her report.
"What the fuck does that mean!" Santana demanded.
"It means that you're confused. You wanted the forbidden fruit, we tired to resist it, because we didn't want to hurt Britt, but it seems unavoidable."
Santana ripped the folder from the desk, her eyes flashing when they clashed with Rachel's angry eyes. "Forbidden fruit huh? What the actual fuck. That shit was fucking amazing why wouldn't we do it again. I'm not fucking confused!"
Rachel sat back in her chair and rubbed her temple. "well it seems you are confused, just over something that I hadn't considered." she stood and took the folder back out of the Latina's hands. "You need to leave."
"Why!"
"Because it's past curfew, and this isn't happening." Rachel sat on the desk. "I thought you and I were on the same page. I don't have time for emotions and feelings which is why I keep everyone at arms length. I'm too busy and emotionally unavailable for a relationship. If I didn't have these issues then I would take Britt or Noah up on their offer of relationship." Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose. "I though it being you, that you would understand that."
"What the fuck is that suppose to mean." Santana demanded. Rachel was pushing all the right buttons, she knew that she was close to getting the girl to explode and then go all lima heights, one more jab and it would be over.
"Well shit, someone would have to bat shit crazy like Brittany to want to be in a relationship with you." she said calmly, then watched as the girl lit up like a fucking rocket and came after Rachel with vicious intent.
"You fucking bitch, that's your best friend! I'll kill you! No one! NO FUCKING ONE TALKS ABOUT BRITT LIKE THAT!" Santana landed one smack to the face which Rachel allowed because she deserved it. Then she just grabbed the Latina on her neck and knocked her out and tossed her over her shoulder. She turned off the lights in the office, shut the door and locked it. Then headed down the hidden hallway to avoid being caught by base patrol. She knocked on the Lopez/Pierce door and was glad that it was one of the triplets that opened the door. She carried the Latina over to her shared bed with Britt, kissed the blonde already asleep in the bed then headed to her own room. She pulled her daughter into her arms snuggled into her furry babies and fought the tears that wanted to take over her body.
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Next chapter coming soon
Love… Rainbows… and Zombies (eww)
Taylor
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