(4,899 words) um, Have I not updated in two months? If so, gomen Nasai. I'm trying to get back up to my average of ten thou words a week, I really am.
I went trick or treating for the first time in my life. I'm 15. I went with my sister and friend (0erbayunfang) and (seeker of the skies). We were in each others clothes because we all wanted something that each other had, not what we had. I now wish I had worn what my sister had but maybe I made up for by dressing up as ARIANNA. Sugoi desu ne!
and now the chapter...ooh I smell pancakes!
disclaimer: Sadly I do not own this.
Deceiving Love:
Chapter 11: A pathetic little truth
Serah was sitting on the couch in the living room. One of the NORA members was snoozing in their room, but they'd been in there so long she'd forgotten which one they were. The snoring was too quiet to try and guess from that alone.
The heat outside was unbearable, it was so hot the beach outside appeared distorted. Inside was a great improvement, but it remained so hot that at some point Serah had folded a piece of paper to form a make-shift fan. She couldn't deny she was bored out of her mind, but nothing was of interest to her right this second. She hadn't the slightest clue as to where everyone was, she knew her sister was working, but had no details beyond that. Ari wasn't even interested in going and annoying Travis either. He made for the best entertainment, his reactions were hilarious and that way Arianna could have fun without getting violent. Though as for the afore-mentioned heat, she detested the idea of searching for him. His hiding places were getting creative like they had back in Bodhum, and in this weather she would be about ready to faint by the time she could spot him. Then being creepy wouldn't be fun.
Serah laid back on the couch, letting her left leg fall off lazily, her toes just touching the floor. A plus to having two minds inside one head was that she could have conversations with herself; unfortunately Arianna was still ecstatic over her last victim. His death had been undeniably violent, and the image was one stained at the back of her mind, as all the others. She knew if she was going to speak to Ari, and she was going to talk about that again, her mind would start to feel sinister, and she'd hallucinate that the walls were covered in blood. It wouldn't be the first time, if she couldn't torture anyone else, she'd torture Serah.
It didn't help that if she ever managed to deter that conversation, Ari would still repeat over and over how funny it was she wasn't even remotely a suspect. The fact that someone who personally knew them was aware of what was going on, and without a doubt hated her to the core, had Arianna overjoyed. It excited her; she was so obsessed with being hated, if her good side wanted love, she would refuse it. Serah agreed that she deserved nothing but hate from others, but pulling the wool over the eyes of someone so dear to her was sickening. But she couldn't help it. Arianna had too much control on her.
Even when Serah was not speaking to her, or letting her have full control, her voice full of a mockery of child-like innocence was always speaking at the back of her head. When it was the other way around, Ari couldn't hear her. Not a word. She was like a conscience that she could make disappear each time she chose it.
When Serah stood back up, slowly, her gaze lingered on the white paper fan in her, eyeing it oddly.
White.
What was wrong with it? Why was Ari so convinced it was bad? White was purer wasn't it? It wasn't evil, it wasn't disguising itself as innocence; it was innocence. Even so, allowing herself to concentrate so deeply on the white object had a bad effect on her mind, she was beginning to hallucinate. She saw dark shadows gather around her hand, they wrapped themselves around her, burning her skin. It hurt like hell; the skin was on fire, it was all emanating from the fan.
Drop it!
Arianna's voice hissed in the back of her mind. She complied and dropped it like it was a venomous spider and had bitten her. It fell little by little, spinning in circles, laughing at her as it prolonged her torture, until it finally hit the ground and she could breathe a sigh of relief. The heat had to be getting to her, or Ari, it might be both. But she couldn't tell, she'd rather it be the heat, at least then it didn't mean she was just completely and utterly insane.
But we are crazy. Ari reminded her.
And whose fault is that? Serah snapped back. Ari's tone was jovial, and it put her in a bad mood. But she despised being angry when she was still 'Serah'. If she was angry, she wasn't nice, and if she wasn't nice. What was she?
A lie to trick everyone into loving you? Arianna asked with a laugh.
That's not true, I'm not a lie made to please people. She said to herself, and her alone, simply to reinforce her fragile state of mind. If she was fake, then she was undeserving of everything she had ever been given, and nothing made her sicker at the moment.
Then why was I here first? Arianna asked, a straightforward question, said with honest interest.
It was a truth Serah preferred to blind herself to. She wiped her eyes, feeling like they were burning each time they spotted even the tiniest of objects, that just so happened to be coloured white. She needed sleep she decided; if she slept as Serah, Arianna would be blocked out; sleep was an invisible wall against her evil. She couldn't be mocked by her; she couldn't be hurt by her.
That was why the psycho would always make sure she couldn't reach the protection that her dreams would offer her. She ignored the complaints Arianna started up the moment the thought of resting popped up. The immature girl was even more bored than Serah, she wasn't done playing yet. Shaking it all out, she left the room, forcing down her emotions enough she didn't storm out. No one needed to know she was in a bad mood; the questions were best avoided, for the answers were truly insane.
"Are you alright?" A voice appeared from near the door. Not one she particularly wanted to hear, but she'd feel even worse if she ignored her. When Serah turned around, by instinct she put on an innocent act, she had taught her eyes to lie just for moments like this.
When she faced her sister, who was standing by the wide doorway looking nothing less than concerned, Serah's face was full of faked confusion.
"Lightning, how long have you been there?" She asked, avoiding at least at first the questions to come. She could act however she wanted to, but one thought had no intention of leaving her alone. How much had she seen?
She watched her sister intensely as she strode over to the couch she had previously been on. Serah hoped it wasn't obvious on the outside how paranoid she was. If she was sweating, she could blame it on the weather, even inside the heat was only that tiny-bit more bearable. But she could only hope she could have her face stay blank. Lightning sat down on the yellow couch, exhaling. She didn't seem exhausted, not even close, but she was far from perfect. The sun must've been affecting everyone today.
"I just got forced to take a break." The older women sighed, clearly that had gotten her in a sour mood. Sure people were only worrying about her well-being, but considering she would have nothing to do on any break she was given she'd be better off working. Work remained as the main part of her life, when she wasn't working she wasn't doing anything. Anything Serah offered that she could do to pass the time got turned down, they never interested her.
"Are you alright?" Lightning asked again, repeating the question her sister hadn't tried to answer.
Serah tilted her head like a confused puppy, and hummed to pretend she was thinking. It was such an innocent pose, and she used it often to keep up her illusions. "Yeah, why are you asking this?"
"When I walked in just then you liked like something was bothering you. Is it?"
Serah understood well enough her sister was just being concerned about her, to a level she'd probably never go near with anyone else. But the way she was looking at her, caused her anxieties to go crazy. She was looking into her blue eyes, to see something that she wasn't saying. She tried to tell herself that if her sister ever noticed something amiss with her, she'd go in denial and forget it. For Serah was an angel, a beloved princess, no evil could exist in her mind.
"Well the heat is, but that's about it." She answered after a pause, acting like she'd simply tried to think up anything that could've made her sister have such thoughts; she knew what it was instantly, but hell if she'd ever say it.
Going off her expression, Serah predicted Lightning was telling herself that everything had all been inside her head. It wouldn't be the first time, it had occurred almost daily when they were teenagers.
The younger of the two thought to leave now and have the nap she had thought of previously, Arianna was laughing now, just because Lightning was there. It had been happening ever since Lightning had first encountered 'Arianna', with no clue as to who she really was. The psycho enjoyed the torture. However, she had another thought overlap that. She had an inkling that it had to be her fault, that her sister had been in an increasingly bad mood over the past months, Lightning had always been sour, but this was above her average. If it was her own fault, she wanted to hear it from her mouth. Whether she wanted to talk or not.
"Hey Lightning," Serah piped up in question. Her voice quiet, almost timid. For once, the emotions true. She needed to know if Arianna was doing this, she wanted to know so badly, but if it was true she'd feel so sick. She was absolutely terrified to know in all honesty.
"Yeah." Her sister looked up to her, before thinking the conversation has been over.
"Is something bothering you?" She inquired with emphasis on the 'you'. Her eyes pleaded, mimicking one of a hurt puppy. Such a sad look; was like bribing someone with candy, because it would make them feel bad if they kept their mouth shut.
Lightning's mouth was open, she may have intended to speak, but nothing came out. She shook her head, and stood up, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get out of here. She was halfway to the door when Serah grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
She wrapped both arms around her right one, "Sis, come on, you have to tell me something at least. Something IS bothering you, the others are ignoring it but I won't. Something is happening and you have to tell me!" Even she was shocked when she'd almost screamed it. It hadn't been her intention; maybe her want to know had been even worse than she'd first thought.
Lightning was frozen there; Serah looked like she'd been hurt. It must feel like a punch to the gut that that was her fault. It never mattered who was in the wrong she always felt horrible for making her sister unhappy, even when in certain occasions she kept her mouth shut. Her grip was tightening as well; she wasn't going to get away without an answer.
She turned her head away and looked at her feet, as a distraction from the painful look directed to her.
"It doesn't matter Serah, it's nothing that concerns you." Was the quiet response that got admitted as a whisper from her sister's throat.
Serah felt a pang of guilt in her stomach, and winced. It could very well be all about her.
"Does it concern you either?" She asked disregarding that she should've be caring about what she'd been told.
"No, it doesn't really." Lightning divulged, "But it doesn't mean I should tell you either."
Behind her back Serah pouted, she loosened her hold on her sister's arm. Now only one arm held her, and only loosely around her wrist. She wasn't going to give up, no never. She was stubborn when times needed it.
"Fine, here's a deal. Either tell you dear little sister what is bothering you, or tell me what on earth happened between you and Travis. Frankly I'm more curious to the later despite being stubborn to hear the first."
Lightning tensed visibly, Serah doubted it was even the deal at all, more just hearing Travis's name. Her problem with him wasn't something simple. She knew that much at least.
"If that's your deal I'll have to go for neither." She replied harshly before ripping her arm out of her sister's grasp. Right away Serah latched onto her again so she didn't walk out the door like she'd been intending.
"If you don't tell me now, every day from now every time I see you I will bombard you with questions about what happened back then until you tell me what it was that happened. I know I'm not going to get it from him no matter how hard I try; six years of following him around did nothing in the end. And I can promise you if I tried for six years with him I'd go even longer for you." Serah yelled grumpily, she knew her face had turned into a pout, even when she was trying to force an angered expression, not one that'd look so childish. But the deal was Ari's idea, and though she remained herself her control wasn't complete. Not like her sister would noticed something being amiss, she was getting worked up; sometimes it really didn't matter who it was that annoyed her, though she did try most times to restrain when it came to Serah, her short temper was not something that could be denied.
Lightning looked into her sister's eyes deeply; she'd expected her to be annoyed but this was not the level she'd predicted. From her good nature it was easy to forget how stubborn she could get.
"And neither of the things you want me to say have anything to do with you!" Lightning barked, forcibly keeping her voice quiet, but the frustrated tone of her voice was hard to miss.
"Like you said, one doesn't even have anything to do with you, but you know anyway." Serah complained, "I know it has got to be the thing that's making you so angry lately, the others are ignoring but I won't okay? It can't just be Travis, I know you hate his guts and all but you two haven't gone anywhere near each other since that day you almost broke his nose again."
She paused and gave her sister a gap to speak, but she didn't and stayed mute.
Maybe saying his name over and over would just make her mood worse? Arianna noted, whispering it to her in the back of her mind. She'd whisper a quiet 'shut up' but that was unwise halfway through a conversation. But it was true what she was saying, Ari was childish but not an idiot, just crazy. Really really crazy.
When Lightning didn't even attempt a reply, Serah added on more hoping that it could guilt trip her maybe, if all else failed, it was a good last resort.
"I care for you sis, just like you do for me. Bottling something up inside only makes things worse, you should let it out before it becomes too much." She was trying to sound concerned, sure she was, but not much. Ari's voice was too loud at this second to concentrate, now all she could think about was getting what she wanted and that was enough. It would be a plus if it could make her sister better, but if she was correct on what it was, she doubted it would.
Lightning removed herself from Serah's grip, the girl hadn't noticed how loosely she'd been holding her wrist, her mind had sunk into the conversation and she'd well near forgotten she had been trying to keep her sister on the spot.
Her older sister didn't look so ticked off at her any more. Serah didn't know what to say her mood was, she wasn't angry, she certainly wasn't happy, but saying she was sad didn't fit either. She sighed, knowing she was fighting a battle and losing, and she didn't want to lose.
"Do you really want to know what it is? What if it is something horrible?" Her tone was unlike her, but she was very protective of her dear little sister, of course she wouldn't want bad reaching her ears. She was so oblivious.
Serah nodded with confidence filling her. Her stomach was sinking, but from Lightning's perspective, it was impossible to tell. "I knew it had to be something bad, not just anything could get you like this after all you've gone through."
Lightning observed her; she was dead serious, her expression, her stance, proved that.
When she first opened her mouth, no words came out, it was clear she was forcing herself, but it was clear her sister would never give up until she got told it. It was something that could easily be told to her by someone else, it wasn't impossible. And with the situation like that, it was the preferred option out of what she'd given her. That didn't mean she wanted to say it.
"In the past year 11 people have been murdered. Squads have managed to come close to the culprit, but haven't been able to arrest her. The psycho's been evading capture for months, and the entire corps are no closer to catching her or finding out her identity."
If was halfway through the sentence that Arianna erupted into cackles.
Psycho! Psycho! She called us a psycho! She was so overjoyed to hear the word, but Serah being at such opposites of the voice inside her head, had never felt worse.
Her eyes went wide, her hand went to her mouth, she couldn't breathe; she was ready to puke. Her head pounded given her a headache, caused by Arianna's high-pitched voice, overflowing with joy. Lightning with no doubt whatsoever, mistook it for shock. Of course, a sweet innocent girl like Serah would be sickened by hearing such a disgusting and vile thing. She was blind to the thought, that she could've done the very act with her own bare hands.
Serah was not revolted by the murders, but sick because it was all her fault that her sister had been in the sour mood in the first place. She had known she was right, but she hadn't wanted to be.
Lightning didn't say anything, she felt bad enough for telling her such a thing, so she walked out in silence without a further word.
Serah remained on the same spot for just over five minutes, standing near the door appearing as appalled as she had the moments the words had left her sister's lips.
I'm so sorry, she said to herself, for she would never gather up the courage to admit the truth.
Don't be, Arianna chuckled, she's the one that fell for your lies.
She hated it, when Ari was right.
Her lies would haunt her forever, for what she'd done was irreversible.
Somewhere a ways off a bird chirped in a tree. It echoed around her as she trod along an isolated path. It made getting home more difficult, and it took far longer, but she preferred it if it meant not having to deal with anyone. The sun was low in the sky, hanging above the horizon line, dipping its head into the water, soon it would disappear and it would be the moon's turn. The blue was gone and replaced by fiery orange, dotted with lilac clouds. She'd taken her time coming home, not like she had anyone to spend her time with, or even had something to do. She'd been staring up at the sky, not because she found it pretty like most people, but for sheer boredom. She didn't want to go home, she found herself wanting to less and less every day. Her sister being there didn't help at all, it should've, but it didn't.
She adjusted the shoulder strap before her bag slipped off; when she did, she heard the unmistakable sound of crunching leaves. It sounded like someone running to be specific.
Great, she thought sarcastically, someone's here to ruin my day.
"Claire!" A more than familiar voice called out in a huff, if the idiot got exhausted walking he was nothing more than a stupid moron for running around like he was right now. Of course it wasn't the first time he'd come up to her like this, he'd done it a million times over, so in the past year alone she'd changed her path seven times hoping each time she could lose him. It never worked.
Claire stopped where she was, and fixed up her bag's strap so she could easily slip it off, she listened intently to the sound of his footsteps as they hit the ground and crushed the yellow leaves below. She timed it just right, aiming for his chest; she twisted on her heel and swung her bag around just as he reached her. It landed dead on and winded him, sending him off his feet and landing harshly on his back side.
"Oi what was that for?" Travis complained, struggling for a single breath, his right hand clasping his heart, the other keeping him upright.
"For being a stalker." Claire spat and continued walking the path, leaving him behind. But it wasn't long before he caught up again. His breathing troubled by that time but not as bad as it had been when she'd first hit him.
"Can't you just talk to me for a little while; we used to be friends didn't we?"
"If you'd call it that, all it was was our parents forcing us together so they could do whatever they wanted to and wouldn't have to be bothered with us." She responded in a frustrated tone. Already she wanted him to leave her alone.
"At least it was something," He sulked, "You don't have to be so mean. So how's life lately?" He tried the best he could to start-up a proper conversation.
Claire stopped in her tracks and scowled. "Same as it was every day, and the day before that, and the day before that."
Travis winced at her pointing out the annoyance his questions served to be. "Well maybe I'd shut up if you'd say something for once."
Claire rolled her eyes, tired of his attempts, but she'd take the chance to see if it got her anywhere. "Fine, I don't want to go home and I don't want to go to school. I haven't talked to my sister in two weeks because I have no idea what to say, and she's been locked away in her room or not even in the house. But that's not anything because it's been that way for three years now." She spat bitterly. She holstered up bag back up onto her shoulder, and turned on him, "Oh and if you'd like to know also, if I get back after dark like I did last time my auntie is going to accuse me of hanging out somewhere smoking like she did last time. It makes it all the more worse that because of her we're going to lose the house because she doesn't have a freaking job and she won''t let us have one to help."
Travis frowned wretchedly as he watched her form disappear. Her auntie was considerably older than what her mother had been, despite being sisters. She'd always been sickly, and even he wished her sicknesses would end her from what little he had heard of her. She'd begun looking after the two sisters just three months after their parents had died, showing them little sympathy or any grievance for her deceased younger sister. She had lived a tough life, having three sons to three different men, all who'd tricked her into thinking they were MR right until they left her with child. Two of those three sons were dead, though one had only been a teenager and one in his early twenties at the time. She'd taken it hard and became overprotective of what little relatives she had left, her oldest son was terrified of her and she treated her nieces horribly. There's nothing wrong with being protective, but she did it in a bad way, she was a monster. If they didn't do something the way she wanted she'd scream at them, if they came home late she'd accuse them of doing something illegal. Just because her two younger sons had done it, she suspected her nieces, being blood relatives, would make the same mistakes.
She was out of her mind, and neither could stand it. He felt sorry for them both, with his parents dead –they'd died only a couple of months after Claire and Serah's- his sister had become overprotective herself, but for him it was that he was being treated like he couldn't do anything. He had a condition, he was weak, that was a fact and she had every right to act as she was. But that auntie of theirs, was just plain crazy, he'd never say he understood, because he didn't. He'd made the mistake once before to say such a thing, like when he tried to get Claire to calm down when her parents had died. The first time he'd said he didn't understand, but on a second attempt he'd gotten angry and opposited his before mentioned thoughts. She'd hit him square in the face, and he'd never seen her so angry, he still hadn't. He'd ruined what little friendship they had between them, she'd deny its existence but once upon a time it had existed. And he didn't want to give up on it.
"Claire!" He called, his voice not full of urgency like last time, he didn't feel the overwhelming need to talk with her. He just wanted to say something, letting her walk off in such a bad mood would eat him; he doubted he could fix anything right now, but he wanted to try, it was something.
"What is it!?" She yelled, and was about to turn around to glare at him but got stopped when he hugged her from behind.
"Ah Travis!" She questioned, suddenly embarrassed. She could feel the weight of his head on her shoulder, the warmth of his arms around her stomach was even more noticeable in the cold afternoon wind.
"I'm sorry." He whispered into her ear before letting go. Like that he was off again, running back where he came. Even when he was plenty aware if he kept it up he'd collapse before he got anywhere near his house.
Claire watched him until he disappeared, her face bright red in embarrassment. She knew Travis didn't care for personal space, but that was a first, usually he'd just grab her hand when she most wanted to be left alone. What was he sorry for? It couldn't just be putting her in a sour mood could it?
Disregarding it for now, she turned around and trod the rest of the path to her house, hoping she's make it back before dark.
I would love to kill their auntie!
As you may notice there's a good number of difference as to what I've put in their pasts then what is known to be in there. They each have their own reasons of cause, like the existence of the crazy auntie, and why their parents died when Light was 11 not 15.
I think the flashback would be only a couple days or weeks before Travis found out about Arianna, That makes Claire 14 there right? My mind is all screwy. I need to write DATW! Crap! I have to go over the last Light chapter first! I don't know what to write on Light's side of the story, I don't with this one either but it's even worse with DATW!
If anyone at all is also reading DATW, please help me after I update it next.
Review and I'll give you this puppy I stole from my friend, his name is Gilligan.
Jya mata ne,
~Serah Villiers Valentine
