Sorry for taking so long, but here you go. And just a little precursor if you think Kurt is out of character,
hurting people hurt people. And Kurt is most definitely hurting. Thanks for your time. :)
"So Kurt Hanson, you want to be a Warbler?" the Asian one asked. Wes, I think.
"Yes, your honors." I really should stop being a smart ass. It's my nerves I can't help it! Everyone in this room is sitting down, watching me be scrutinized by this Holy Mystical Douche Council. Even Blaine isn't helping me out. He's just leaning against the arm of a couch, smiling and looking incredibly cool. He's cool and my palms are sweating. Thanks, asshole.
"Ha, see, told you he was funny. He'd be a great asset to the team, plus he's got a great soprano," David rambled from behind he and Wes's last-supper style table. I remember David from that day in the Lima Bean when I'd first met Blaine. They must be friends. Why haven't I seen much of him since then?
Blaine's not proud to be friends with the creepy new kid. I'd keep you hidden too.
"Well just because we're one man down from being able to compete doesn't just grant you the spot. You still have to earn it, funny or not." Wes wasn't intentionally being bluntly awful, but someone really should give him a lesson in sincerity. His deadpanned words slapped me right in my 'deer in the headlights' face. "What'll you be singing for us today?"
"Um, Black Bird by the Beatles," I say, trying to look humble and innocent.
As I sing the words I know by heart, I think about how my song choice really couldn't have been better.
Black bird singing in the dead of night,
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
That's pretty pathetic, waiting your whole life to sing in front of a bunch of high school pricks that judge you.
That's not what it's about! My wings may be broken by absolutely everything life has thrown at me, but I'm not going to lie down and take-
Stop your little self-importance speech right there and tell it to someone who cares.
That's it. I'm crazy.
"Wow, Kurt, that was actually very impressive," Wes complimented. David and Blaine were smiling like idiots.
"Well, what else did you expect? It's me," I laughed and several people behind me laughed too. I stifled down the voice in my head that tried to comment on my pomposity.
"We'll get back to you. Thank you."
I was sitting on my bed, leaning over chemistry equations when my door opened. "Hey Kurt, I-" I bounced off my bed and threw myself on my best Blaine.
"Did they pick me? What did they say after I left? Was there something they didn't like? Something they liked a lot?" I rambled excitedly and Blaine had to drop whatever was in his arms to hold me up.
"Woah, I didn't know you were so excited about it," he laughed and put me down. "They liked you, but you know I can't tell you if they picked-"
"Please?"
"They picked you!"
"YES!" I threw my arms around Blaine again and jumped up and down. He joined in and laughed. When he pulled back, I went to step away. Blaine had a different idea. He took a step forward and put his face right where mine had been a half second before, his eyes closed. He kept going and I was left in silence to stare wide-eyed at the closed eyes of my best friend, his face, no, his LIPS on mine.
NOW he's done it!
Shut up!
"Blaine…" I don't know if you've ever talked while someone's kissed you, but it's a strange, slightly sticky experience. When Blaine's eyes opened, full of hurt and confusion, my heart skipped and grew a giant spike that stabbed my right lung with every thundering heartbeat.
"I'm… I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just thought… No, it wasn't…" Blaine stuttered, but didn't let me go.
"Not that I hadn't thought about it before, but I think I have a lot of things to deal with before I… well, you know. You're great and all Blaine, really, I like you a lot. I just have a lot of crap to sort out before I get more, you know?" I tried to explain. Not very well I don't think. My arms were still around Blaine and his around me, but his grip tightened and he wouldn't look me in the eye.
"More crap? Being me, I guess?"
"That's not what I meant. I'm fine on my own and I don't want to put all this on someone else too." Which is perfectly reasonable, yes?
"Well it's a little too late for that you know. You already told me everything and how can you expect me not to worry about it? Not to worry about you? Most people who've lived through what you have would be clinically insane!"
Ha! You don't know the half of it, punk.
"I'm already in it and I just want to help you," he finishes and lifts his head to look at me, still holding me against him. My arms are against his chest, ready to push away at any moment.
How dramatic. This one gets an Oscar. No joke, my little hands are just clapping away in here.
"Kurt? Kurt you're not saying anything," Blaine whispers and finally pulls one hand off of my back to my face.
"I just…" What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? And there was nobody to ask but… wait.
That's right, come crawling back to me. I got this.
I pushed against my only friend with every ounce of strength I had. His back slammed into the wall and went tumbling right to the ground.
"Geez Blaine! You don't even listen do you? I said I could do this on my own! I always have, I don't need you to help me reconnect with my dad or wave your magic wand and make me all better again! It's not going to work."
Stop.
"You're the only one who knows about my life. You think that makes you special? You think it gives you any right to me?"
His face, it's killing me STOP THIS!
"It doesn't and you don't know anything about me or what's going to fix me. I don't need anything and even if I did it most definitely isn't you."
Stop this now! This is cruel!
Shut it, Damaged Goods… Oh look, he's crying.
And then at this golden moment in our relationship where deep in my heart all I wanted to do was apologize and beg his forgiveness, all my years of hurts and fears spoke for me.
"Get over it."
