Chapter 11
It was on Friday evening, the day before Cassie was scheduled to arrive when a knock at the door interrupted the cleaning Sam was attempting to do. The person knocked several times, and the doorbell rang a couple more as Sam moved towards the front door wondering if she had confused her days for the delivery of the bunk beds and other furniture. When she opened the door to find General Jack O'Neill standing there, Sam swallowed and didn't know quite what to say to the man.
Jack looked her in the eye, a serious expression on his face. "I've been thinking about something," he began, "And I needed your opinion about it."
"What?" Sam asked, unsure of why this man would come all this way to ask her opinion about something that he could have easily talked about over the phone.
"Actually, it's more like I need to know where I stand with some things. I guess it's where you stand too, if you want to get technical," he rambled.
"Wait," Sam interrupted, holding up a hand, "What are you talking about?"
Jack looked at her and took a different approach. "Can I come in? This could take a while."
Sam looked him over and noticed that he did indeed have a bag with him, meaning that he must have planned on staying at least the night. And no matter how confused or angry she was with him for not understanding things, she did trust him enough to let him into her home. So she opened the door wide enough for him to squeeze past her and into the hallway. She led him to the living room and dropped into a chair.
"This is nice," he commented, taking in the room.
"It works for me," Sam agreed, "What did you want?"
"I though a lot about what you said. And I guess what I need to know is where do I stand? Am I just your friend? You ex-CO? Or is there something else?" Jack asked.
Sam looked at him with wide eyes. "Where do you think that you stand?"
"I have no idea. I think that we're friends. I know that I'll always 'care about you a whole lot more than I'm supposed to'. I don't know if that is worth anything to you but-"
"It isn't," Sam assured him. "Because you were the one who was okay with leaving it in the room."
"You suggested it!" Jack objected.
"To give you a way out. I wasn't going to pressure you into doing anything, especially when you used words like 'care'. You had the most to lose. You're never specific about anything. I practically waved Pete's engagement ring in your face and all you could say was 'I wouldn't be here.' What in the world does that mean? I'm done guessing with you and waiting on you to make a move. So I made one of my own," Sam ranted.
"Is that the real reason why you left?" Jack asked as the pieces fell into place.
"Mostly," Sam admitted. "Cassie really does need someone to be there for her right now," she quickly added.
Silence filled the room, as Jack studied his hands. When he spoke, Sam watched how he continued to study his hands, and then his feet, doing everything he could to avoid looking at her. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "I thought that it was just me that felt those things and there was no way that I was going to hurt your career by doing anything. If I had known-well, I wouldn't be here." He smiled a little bit, looking up to meet Sam's eyes.
"Where would you be?" she asked, giving him a second chance at the question.
"Probably retired, sitting by a pond in Minnesota," Jack stated to a gaping Sam, "With a really beautiful blonde scientist who would hopefully be my wife by this time. If I was really, really lucky we'd have a kid or two running around. And if by some possibility, all those years on SG-1 hadn't used up all my luck, she'd be willing to let me have a dog too."
Sam once more did thing where she opened and closed her mouth several times without having any words come out. She blinked a couple of times, as if checking to make sure that Jack was really there. She couldn't say anything when Jack continued speaking.
"I've been thinking about retiring an awful lot lately. Finally winning the war means that I can step back and let someone else take over without feeling like I'm letting someone down. Having the rest of my team directly off of the frontlines means that I can worry even less," Jack explained, "But I really don't have a reason to retire or leave unless-"
"There's someone to go home too," Sam completed the thought for him quietly. "At least that's what Dad always said as to why he waited so long to retire. He only retired from the Air Force a year before we became SG-1. It wasn't because he wasn't eligible; it was because he didn't have a reason to go anywhere else but to work every day. If my mom had been alive, I don't think he would have ever made it to General."
"Neither would I if I had done what I should have years ago," Jack agreed.
"What we should have done," Sam corrected. "We should have talked about things a long time ago rather than leaving things unsaid."
"We should have. But we didn't."
"But we can now," Sam said treating Jack to the first smile he had seen all night.
"We could," Jack granted, "Or we could decide that we aren't ever going to talk about our 'feelings' ever again."
Sam glared at him. "You're the one picking, so I suggest you pick well, because I won't be giving you another chance."
Jack swallowed his heart which had somehow worked its way up to his mouth. "I guess we talk then."
Sam looked at him pointedly, indicating that he was going first regardless of what he wanted.
"Can I get a beer?" Jack requested, needing time to collect his thoughts, or to come up with a way out of the discussion.
Sam gave him a look that reminded them both of a teacher who was permitting her students to get away with something-and Sam was telling him that she knew exactly what he was trying to do.
Sam slipped into the kitchen and brought out two beers, one for Jack and one for her. She opened them both and returned to the living room. She handed Jack the beer and sat down next to him.
Jack drank almost the whole beer and began to peel the label from the bottle, staring at it instead of Sam. "When I first met you in the briefing room, I tried so hard not to like you. But you're so damn likeable Sam that I couldn't find a reason not to. I don't know when I first felt something more than just respect and admiration for you, but I do know that I tried to think it was just lust. You're a beautiful woman Samantha, one who deserves to be more than just an Air Force officer. That's why I tried ordering you to get a life so many times."
"And why you wanted me to go fishing with you all the time," Sam added quietly.
Jack looked at the woman next to him for the first time since he started talking and offered her a smirk. "I think we both know now that fishing meant something other than fishing."
Sam giggled and laid her head against Jack's shoulder. "But we went fishing," she reminded him, "And there wasn't anything other than fishing going on."
Jack raised his arm to wrap around Sam's shoulders, unsure is she would let him, but she leaned forward to let him slip his arm around her. When she leaned forward, she took both of their empty bottles and set them on the coffee table. Then, she laced her fingers with Jack's.
"That trip wasn't about what I wanted. It was about what you needed, and then about what Cassie needed. Besides, there were always the regs to think about," Jack explained.
"Like the rules have ever stopped us before," Sam commented.
Jack looked down to see the seriousness of her expression. "I'll break rules to do my job, but not for things like having a personal relationship with my 2IC."
Sam shook her head. "You were always so honorable about that kind of stuff. It was always you that endured all the pain on missions, you that took the heat when things went wrong."
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "I just want to see you happy. If that's with Paul or someone else, I'll be okay, as long as you can tell me that you'll be happy."
"Pete," Sam corrected. "His name is Pete. And I'm not seeing him anymore. Turns out that he wasn't my type."
"Your type?" Jack asked. "You have a type."
Sam smiled. "Oh yeah. Usually military, must look good in a uniform, has a great sense of humor, can make me smile, generally older than me, and loves me unconditionally-especially considering what I do for a living."
"How much older?"
"I have this thing for a guy with gray hair."
Jack's eyebrows rose as he looked at the blonde that was carefully tucked into his side. "Really? That's funny because I've always had a thing for blondes. Lately though, it's been all about this particular blonde. I guess I'm too stupid to see it though because another woman who I was seeing at the time had to point it out to me."
"Kerry?"
"Oh yeah," Jack confirmed. "She pretty much told me to retire and run the SGC as a civilian."
"And you didn't do that because…"
"Because I was scared," Jack admitted. "I could handle watching you marry another man, but there was no way that I would be able to stand it if you rejected me-which is what I had managed to convince myself you would do."
Sam looked at Jack, turning her body so that she could face him. "If you had done something, given me a clue as to what you were feeling, you never would have doubted your feelings." Sam pulled his head down to meet her lips and she kissed him. She could feel the surprise that her actions caused until Jack relaxed and started kissing her back.
When they pulled apart, gasping for air, Sam was sure that her face showed just how pleased she was with herself. Jack was still trying to recover from being kissed by Samantha Carter, when Sam reached over, grabbed the TV remote, and focused all of her attention on the show.
"Aren't you going to say something?" Jack asked, looking at the woman who had placed her feet in his lap, choosing to stretch out over the couch.
Sam looked at him and then looked at the television. "Nope," she said and turned her attention back to the TV.
"You aren't going to say anything at all?" Jack asked again, incredulously.
"Actions speak louder the words," Sam quoted.
Jack gaped at her and shook his head. She kissed him, and then said some cliché-which he hated-before turning on a science show. What was he supposed to do in response? Talk? They had been talking for at least an hour now, and if Sam had wanted to talk, she wouldn't have turned on the television. So Jack leaned back and absently ran his hands over Sam's feet. He tried to get interested in the show, but the whole time, the only thing he could think about was that Sam Carter had just kissed him. How was he supposed to respond to that? So he did what he had been doing for years-nothing.
While Jack was doing all his thinking, Sam was trying to figure out her next move. She really didn't know why she had acted like she had for the last ten minutes.
'I was angry with him for having no clue about my feelings a week ago, and now I've just about jumped into his arms. I have no idea what I'm doing or where this is going,' Sam admitted to herself.
But she knew that she couldn't push things much farther or else Jack would be running out her front door, so she sat back and tried to force herself to watch the documentary on the exploration of space, something she would have found interesting, if not for the fact Jack was currently giving her a foot massage.
It was really dark out, the wee hours of the morning, when Sam found that she could hardly keep her eyes open any longer. She yawned and stretched, moving her feet out of Jack's lap. "I'm going to get a shower and go to bed. Do you want me to show you the guest bathroom?" She asked.
Jack stood up, "Yousurebetcha," he said while yawning and stretching. "I could really use a shower before I turn in for the night. When does Cassie get here?" he asked while the walked down the hallway.
"Sometime tomorrow. She's taking her time driving out from California, stopping to stay at some of her friends from college houses along the way, so she'll call when she is a couple of hours away," Sam explained. "There are towels in the cabinet along with extra shampoo and stuff. How long can you stay for?" she asked.
"I have to be back on Sunday," Jack answered. "Are you okay with me staying here?" he asked.
Sam gave him one of her biggest smiles, the kind that was reserved only for him. "Sure, as long as you are okay with sleeping on the couch tonight. The beds for the guest room don't arrive until tomorrow."
Jack nodded and Sam left him to get his own shower.
Twenty minutes later Sam was standing in front of a closet that would have held the blankets Jack would need-only to find that it was empty. It seemed that Sam hadn't packed the many blankets she thought she had.
Jack walked out of the bathroom to see Sam staring at an almost empty closet. "Something wrong Sam?" he asked, confused as to why she would be looking in an empty closet.
"Kind of," she answered. "I uh, didn't pack as many blankets as I thought I had, so it looks like you'll be sleeping in my bed tonight." Sam quickly turned and walked down the hallway and into her bedroom so that he wouldn't have time to object.
Jack could tell that this whole situation embarrassed her. They had shared close quarters before, but sleeping in the same bed was something totally different. Jack waited a few minutes before going into her room. Sam was already tucked under the covers, facing away from him, with the lights out, just like he expected. Jack quickly stripped down to his boxers, and left his t-shirt on, something that he wouldn't have done if he was at home.
"You know," he said as he slipped under the covers, noticing that Sam was almost, but not quite hugging the edge of the other side of the king size, "Most guys have to wait until the second date to sleep with their girlfriend. I get to do it without ever having taken you out on a date!"
Sam turned around and glared at the man. "Yeah but when most guys say 'sleeping with' they mean something other than sleeping-and sleeping mister, is all that you will be doing with me."
Sam was sure that if she could see Jack's face, she would see that he was pouting.
"Is that like just for tonight or is that forever?" Jack whined.
"Good-night Jack," Sam said, turning around once more to face away from him and ignoring his question.
"Good-night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite," Jack said.
A silence settled between them, but both knew that the other wasn't sleeping yet, so Jack broke the silence. "You don't snore do you?"
"Jack!"
"Or hog all the covers either, because I don't think I could handle either of those. It might ruin the image I have of you," Jack explained, a boyish tone filling his voice.
"I do not snore. I do not hog the covers," Sam insisted.
"Then what do you do when you're cold?" Jack asked.
"Get another blanket."
"But what if you run out of blankets?" Jack asked innocently.
"Jack! I would like to get some sleep tonight and I can't do that with you talking," Sam claimed.
"I just wondered Sam. No need to yell at me or anything. I just have one more thing to say and then I'll shut up," Jack offered.
Sam waited for Jack so continue talking but when he didn't, she relented. "What?" She asked, as she turned around so that she could easily push the man who was getting on her last nerve out of the bed. Sam might love him, but that didn't mean that she was going to make things easy on him.
"I just wanted to say I love you Samantha Carter. Night," Jack said and he turned around so that his back was to Sam now.
Sam sat up in bed, pulling some of the covers away from Jack. "Jonathan O'Neill!"
"What?" Jack teased as he sat up in bed, "I thought you wanted to go to sleep?"
"You don't tell a girl that you love her and then expect her to just go to sleep. It doesn't work that way," Sam explained to him, frustrated at how he was making light of the situation.
"Am I supposed to do something else?"
"Yousurebetcha," Sam answered, right as she captured Jack lips in another kiss, one that he eagerly returned. When the separated, Sam quickly said, "I love you too Jack," as she slid back under the covers, facing away from Jack.
"Hold on!" Jack exclaimed. "I'm not allowed to say 'I love you' and go to sleep but you are? That seems kind of unfair."
"It's one of those rules the women have for men kind of things," Sam explained in a muffled voice as she snuggled under the covers.
"Oh," Jack accepted as he slid under the covers once more, but this time he was facing Sam. In fact, he slid closer to her and draped one arm over her and tried sliding one arm under her, only to meet resistance.
"What are you doing?" she asked as she jumped at the unexpected contact.
"One of those rules that guys have for their girlfriends. Rule number one: After exchanging 'I love you's, the guy is permitted to snuggle in bed with said girlfriend," Jack claimed.
Sam snorted. "I would love to see a copy of those rules."
Jack chuckled, something that Sam could feel as she pressed her body into his. "There aren't that many," he offered. "Rule number two is 'No sex until after the second date'. Finally, there's Rule number three: Guys will offer chocolate and will not mention having sex during 'that time of the month' no matter what."
"Guys only have three rules?"
"They're good rules," Jack insisted.
"They are," Sam agreed.
"So are you going to give me any hints as to how I should go about best following those rules?" Jack asked, hoping that he wasn't being too forward.
Sam lifted her body a little bit so that Jack could get his other arm under her before she answered. "Hmm," Sam thought out loud as she moved around just a little bit to get comfortable. "The first rule is acceptable, especially since I get cold at night and you make a really good bed warmer."
"Hey!"
"The second rule is generally the norm, but our relationship has never been normal. So it could easily be the third or fourth date until that happens," Sam continued as she ignored Jack's objections. "My only hint for rule number three is that I love peanut butter and chocolate, but you already knew that. Anything else you want to know?"
"No, I uh think that was pretty good," Jack managed to stutter out, surprised at the confidence Sam had shown.
"Good," Sam said. "Can I go to sleep now?" she requested.
"Sure," Jack answered as he pulled her just a little bit closer to him. Sam sighed contentedly as she closed her eyes, and the two of them drifted off to sleep.
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