Stuck Between Slugs and Toads

A reincarnated soul finds itself stuck between a short-tempered Senju princess and a perverted Dead Last—all while stuck in the mind of the series's infamous, sociopathic snake. Foreknowledge barely means anything when the pieces of the plot have yet to begun. Reborn!OC


eleven: terror

orochimaru: three years

years to second war: twenty-one years


"Poppy, I want cute dress!"

Tsunade has no clue what an indoor voice is. She points to a cyan dress with frills and pink bows. "Tea party dress!"

"Yes, my little princess," Hazuo sighs pleasantly.

Tokonoma flicks her daughter in the head. "Do you even know how expensive that is? Don't just get any random thing."

Tsunade rubs the blossoming red spot. First she pouts. Then she grins impishly, a replica of Tokonoma. "Oooh! Mommy! Double D bra! Double D bra for Mommy! Ah! Double D panty, too!"

No...

The nearby women who hear her shrieks start staring, particularly at Tokonoma's well-endowed chest.

The Uzumaki goes red, unknowingly from anger or embarrassment, and yells, "I'm going to kill you!"

"Love, please! You shouldn't threaten children in public! It isn't safe... or particularly ethical," Hazuo defends.

"Shuddup! It's your fault she's like this!"

Tsunade smirks at her bickering parents and skips away. I, of course, follow behind her, hiding in the annulus-shaped clothesracks. She quite enjoys girly things like ribbons and dolls. Distantly, Tsunade's parents call her to return, but Tsunade shouts she's going to the bathroom (or her toddler equivalent, anyway). Two steps later, it is very obvious she is not going to the bathroom.

The pigtailed, she-demon skips and hums down the stairs and right out the door. She twirls and leaps, very agile for her age. Tsunade splashes in puddles and chats to the vendors who call her princess. We are too far from the mall. I should guide her back.

Tsunade comes to a screeching halt seeing a white, fluffy puppy hobbling down the road. She kneels before him, talking, then picks up his blood-stained foreleg. She unwraps the bandages around her knee—she had hurt it kicking someone in the face—and ties it around the puppy's paw. She then kisses its head and shoos it away.

At that moment she stands and dusts off her pinafore, she turns and I don't have a chance to hide in time. Her warm, contented gaze contorts into fury.

"Oi! You creepy brother! Pervy brother! What you doing? Gah!"

A toddler sprints to me, fist pulled back into a punch. I dodge it, definitely not wanting to hurt Tokonoma's girl.

She pouts, spirals, and sends a kick flying. It's her bad leg though. I am able to catch the kick, with only aching hands being my injury.

Tsunade awkwardly balances one foot, while her slip dress underneath her pinafore slips dangerously down. The girl doesn't even wear modesty shorts—perhaps took them off to spite her mother.

"Lemme go! Tsunade yell! Pervy!"

She will likely try to hit me again. I pull her to me and catch her as she crashes into my chest. From afar, this certainly looks like a hug. I pat her hair in an attempt to console the three-year-old mumbling threats on my chest.

"Tsunade-hime! Orochimaru!"

"...what am I looking at?"

Tsunade choses that time to land a punch to my groin and break free. I really don't care where she goes. My body folds over and crumbles to the ground.

"Tsunade, you can't just do those things!" Tokonoma helps me stand. "I should take back your dumb dress!"

Her daughter has the decency to look upset. "Nooo! Tsunade sorry!"

"Apologize to the boy, then," Tokonoms says coldly.

Tsunade turns to me, looking down at her brother in pain. "Tsunade sorry," she pouts.

"I should pay for our stuff!" says Hazuo shortly before heading back.

"Come on, children, I have to make sure Poppy doesn't buy anything outrageous."

Tokonoma makes her leave, Tsunade skipping behind the mother. I manage to stand up for the most part and hurry to the Uzumaki. That forces me to run past Tsunade, allowing the toddler to seize my sleeve.

A devilish look contorts her girlish features. "Tsunade kill brother. Tsunade no say sorry," she hisses under her breath.

Even without having super strength, I feel myself flinching from her fists as if the fists tinier than mine can obliterate me with one hit.

"I can hear ya, ya know! Geez!"

Tokonoma drives her own fist on top of Tsunade's head. The girl cries out in pain. I can see several villagers staring at us, baffled.

To think, only one woman is strong enough to stop the terror that is Tsunade.

end