[A/N: Helloooo! Thank you so much for your reviews and to everyone who's reading this! We're reaching a critical stage of the story, I hope you like it! Reviews are very appreciated! Love you all! ~L]
DISCLAIMER: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.
Chapter 10
We communicated our decision to Dr. Stevens and Dr. Smithers that same day. They explained in better detail all the process. Ovulation would be induced so that more than one egg would be produced and the embryos could be tested. Then, a suitable embryo would be implanted in my uterus and hopefully, it would catch and my pregnancy would develop with no complications.
That night, Edward encouraged me to go home to talk to Jake and have a proper shower and dinner. I accepted it, since I was just exhausted and there was no way that conversation could be delayed. Promising to be back early the next day, I went home.
Jake's car was in the driveway, but the living room lights were out. I hadn't really spoken to him since the day before and we hadn't been on good terms for a while now. That conversation was not going to make anything better.
He was in the kitchen, probably cooking something for himself, since I hadn't told him I'd be going home for the night.
"Hey." I said, quietly.
He turned around to face me and then I noticed he looked sad and worried.
"Hey." he walked to me and gave me a kiss on the lips. "I didn't know you were coming home. I think I might have cooked enough for the both of us, though. Are you hungry?"
I just nodded, unable to say anything else. It's almost like he was back to being my loving husband. When I closed my eyes, I briefly remembered the day we got married and wondered how had things gone downhill, or if maybe I had been wrong all that time. Was Jake really as selfish as he was appearing to be? Was he just hurt? I didn't know anymore.
As we ate, I told him about how Seth was and he told me about his work. Of course my house was more comfortable than the hospital couch I'd been sleeping on the previous few days, but… it lacked warmth. Since Seth had been admitted to the hospital for an unknown amount of time, I really hated going back to my place and seeing his stuff around the house. It scared me to no end to think that there was a possibility he was never going back home, and it killed me. That cold sensation felt even worse with my marriage falling apart and the path ahead of me doomed to make things worse in that situation. I felt so confused by my feelings it wasn't even funny. I didn't want my relationship with Jake to crumble, and I knew that was a real possibility when I had the IVF, but at the same time, there was no way I wouldn't have it, since so far it was the only thing I could do to save my son.
The worst part, the part that caused the worst confusion in my head, is that I wasn't bothered by the idea of having another baby with Edward. Of course it was for a greater purpose, but having a second child with my 'ex', for lack of a better word, while I was married to another man was something that should have felt weird. But I was almost eager for it to happen. I tried to tell myself it was only because of Seth, and I would stick with that version. I didn't have the strength to think into it. The only thing I knew is that Edward and I were closer than ever and that I felt a hundred percent comfortable in sharing all my worries with him, and I never felt that way with Jake, whatever that meant.
After taking the longest shower of my life, I laid down on the bed next to Jake. He was reading a book and didn't look up at me.
"I need to talk to you."
He sighed, closed his book and motioned for me to talk. It's like he was… impatient.
"I'm all ears." his tone was a little sarcastic and I felt annoyance building up inside me.
"I'm having the IVF. I'm having another baby."
A long silence followed and I could almost feel Jake's blood boil. He carefully put the book on the nightstand, as if controlling his movements so he wouldn't come off as aggressive.
"You didn't even talk to me about this. How can you make a decision like that?"
I rose a hand to stop him.
"I did tell you. And this is not up for discussion, Jacob. This is my son we're talking about and he could die. I'm not asking your permission, I'm just informing you because you're still my husband."
I know that was below the belt, but he was getting on my nerves and had been for a while now. Jake just stared hard at me for a long time and then took a deep breath.
"Okay. Thank you for telling me. I understand your decision. Maybe you won't even need and IVF, maybe you and Edward can just make a baby the natural way. It wouldn't surprise me."
That felt like a slap to my face.
"I'm not going to give you the response you deserve because I have more important things on my mind right now than your ridiculous assumptions about Edward and I."
I turned my back to him and covered myself with the blanket. I didn't even notice when I fell asleep, that's how tired I was.
The next day, Jake had already left when I woke up. It saddened me to see how fast my marriage was going to waste and it saddened me even more to see that Jake wasn't trying his best. Neither was I, to be quite honest, but come on. I had a sick child at the hospital. He was very supportive in the beginning but as Edward got closer to me, he started drifting away. I know it must hurt him seeing my ex around me all the time and I know it's not easy to wrap his head around the fact I'm having another baby while we're still married. But really, it was difficult for me as well. Besides, it's not like Edward and I were madly in love or in a complicated situation when I met Jake. He was my son's father, period.
When I arrived at the hospital, Seth was playing with some other kids in a room where a nurse was watching them if anything went wrong. That was heartbreaking. My son had to be watched over all the time now and couldn't even be with other kids for too long before having to take some test or go through another round of medications.
I found Edward speaking to Carlisle near the cafeteria. He looked tired as hell and I made a mental note to tell him to go home and take some rest after we had breakfast.
"Hey." I said. They both greeted me and Carlisle excused himself to go back to work. Edward's eyebrows knit in worry when he took a good look at me.
"You're not okay." he stated. I shrugged.
"I haven't been okay in almost four months now."
He shook his head and came closer, holding my face in his hands.
"It's not just that. What happened? Does it have anything to do with… the talk?"
I nodded slowly and I felt the tears burn my eyes. He pulled me into an embrace and I felt his right hand smoothen my hair, his left one caressed my back in a soothing motion.
"It's okay. He'll come around eventually, Bella."
I just nodded because I didn't want to go into detail about how I didn't even know anymore if I wanted Jake to come around. His fingers wiped a few tears from my face and he gave me a small smile.
"You could use some breakfast and I'm starving. Shall we?"
"Sure."
He put a hand on my shoulder and led me to the cafeteria. He told me how happy Seth was to be playing with other sick children. The good thing about it is that he didn't feel so alone at the hospital and didn't feel like he was the only kid who had leukemia in the world. He was coping a lot better now and it made it easier for both Edward and I. Our son was back to being the smiley, sweet little boy he had always been.
I was assigned a new OBGYN so that I would be monitored at the hospital before and after the IVF. Also, I started seeing a therapist and I guess it was good for me. There wasn't much I wanted to discuss with her just yet, though, because sometimes it felt silly for me to repeat stuff I had already told Edward or other people. She promised that overtime I would notice results, so I trusted her. Besides, it was good to talk to someone who was not involved in my story.
Jake and I didn't talk much after that day. He would see Seth a few times a week and stay with him for a while, but that was all. He wouldn't talk to me anymore than the necessary at the hospital and whenever I went home, he wasn't there. I didn't ask him where he went either.
My parents still didn't know about my decision to have another baby with Edward, but they did know my marriage was on the rocks. Renee didn't say much about it, but my dad was devastated. He and Jake's dad were close friends, so us getting a divorce could make things awkward between them. As much as I loved my father, that was not my problem. Of course I hoped we wouldn't get to that, but with each passing day, it became a big possibility.
Emmett was not very fond of Jake at that moment, and he was very understanding of my decision to have the baby. He and Edward even became a little more friendly towards each other. Rose was always there for me, of course, but we did see a lot less of each other because I spent almost all my time at the hospital and it wasn't always possible for them to visit. They were around as much as they could, though. Seth and Lily were like siblings, being the same age and all, so they missed each other a lot, as did Riley. And I missed my nephew and niece, too.
Alice and Jasper were there to see Seth whenever she had an appointment. Being pregnant with twins could not be easy. They both were more than supportive of all the baby idea and Alice was disappointed when I told her about Jake's behavior. They liked each other alright, but I knew deep down Ali had always wanted to see Edward and I together.
Since Ali and I were both absent from the publishing house, Angela was handling stuff. I was at the hospital a lot, so I tried to help her as well as I could from a distance. That arrangement was working well that far and being somewhat busy during the times where Seth was asleep or receiving medication helped me get distracted.
Throughout those times, I received a lot of help from a lot of people, but Edward was really my rock. My parents were far away and my marriage was disintegrating, so I had him. It may sound obvious since he's Seth's dad that we would be leaning on each other for support, but for me it wasn't. He had gotten over his denial and even though I know for a fact he was still sad and worried, Edward was the person I talked to about every little thing that happened in my day and the person who held me when I broke down and cried, which was quite often.
The last two weeks of September and the beginning of October were terrible. I was taking medication to induce ovulation and it made me feel awful. I was bloated all the time, my breasts hurt a lot and I was even more anxious than usual. I kept thinking about what the hell I was going to do if the fertilization didn't work. Did Seth have time to wait if it didn't? What was going to happen from then on?
Dr. Sarah Lake was my OBGYN. She was very sweet and kind and seemed really into making the fertilization work as soon as possible. Everyone in the hospital knew Seth's story, since he was Carlisle's grandson and all, and everyone was rooting for him.
One day, I woke up early to have my eggs removed by the doctor. I had slept at my house that night, but it did nothing for my nerves. It was more comfortable, yes, but I was alone at home. I even considered calling Edward or maybe Jake so that I wouldn't feel so uneasy, but in the end, decided to just get some sleep. That day I came to the conclusion that I missed Edward when he was not around. I guess I was just used to his presence almost 24/7.
Dr. Lake saw me and took me to another room where I would have the eggs retrieved, so that they could get tested and finally fertilized. Then, after one week, they would implant three embryos into my uterus and hope that at least one would catch. I was trying my hardest not to think about the consequences of that, good or bad. I just wanted to concentrate on what was going on at that moment, or else I would freak out.
"Okay, Mrs. Black. You do realize that this might not result in a pregnancy, right? We hope it does, but if it doesn't, I need you to keep trying, okay?"
I nodded, unable to say anything else. A nurse gave me an oxygen mask and I inhaled something that made me relax instantly, almost to the point of falling asleep, which was good, because I hated needles or anything similar to them, and I would have a tube suck out my eggs through my vagina. That didn't sound appealing at all.
I didn't feel much besides the ultrasound probe moving around, and that was okay. They gave me a few minutes to recover and she told me to take it easy for a few days. The embryos would be implanted the following week.
When I went back to Seth's room, Dr. Smithers was there. I thought it was weird, since she usually wasn't there at that hour of the day. My heart started beating faster because I immediately figure something was wrong. There was no blood anywhere, at least.
Edward left the room to talk to me.
"Is something wrong?" anxiety was evident in my voice and he put both hands on my shoulders to calm me down.
"No, it's fine. They ran a few tests and Dr. Smithers is checking on him right now, that's all." he sounded calm, but I could tell by the look on his eyes that was not all. Before I could ask him, though, Dr. Smithers left the room and walked towards us.
"Good morning, Mrs. Black. We ran a few blood tests to check if we're making progress. His levels are definitely better than when he was admitted, but they stabilized at a low level, so we're changing his chemo medication to something stronger."
She looked at us to see our reaction. Like always, I froze in my spot and my brain thought about the worst scenarios. It was so difficult to stay positive sometimes.
"And how is this going to affect him?" Edward asked. I was so jealous of his ability to remain calm and reasonable at those times. Thank God for him.
"The collateral effects are worse. Please be prepared for that, and be there for him at all times, because he's going to need you."
My eyes didn't even burn when tears filled them anymore. I hated more than anything knowing that Seth would go through pain and discomfort once again. Edward brought me close to him and thanked Dr. Smithers. After she left, he said close to my ear:
"It's okay. It's just a matter of time. In a few months he will be better and then there will be no more of this."
He have me a kiss on the forehead, wiped some of my tears and we went back into the room. Seth was sitting on the bed playing with some action figures Emmett had given him.
"Hey." he greeted us with a smile and Edward started talking to him about whatever TV show they watched the day before. I just looked at my son. He was skinny and had bags under his eyes. How could the new medication make him even worse? At that moment more than any other, I wished with all my heart that the new baby would be here sooner rather than later. God knows we needed some good news.
One week after the egg retrieval, they implanted three embryos in my uterus. The doctor said it was highly unlikely that all three of them would catch, they were just being safe. I was advised to take it easy for the next two weeks and God knows I tried. Jake and I only ever met at the hospital now, and I noticed that whenever I went home, there was less and less of his stuff. I had no idea where he was spending his time, and honestly, I didn't care at that time.
Three weeks after implantation, I had a blood test to know if I had succeeded to get pregnant. I wanted to make a urine test at home sooner, but Dr. Lake advised me against it, since I could still have residual hormone from the injections and get a false positive.
The day after the test, I saw her first thing in the morning.
"Hello, Mrs. Black! How have you been?"
"Sore." I replied sincerely. That's how I had been since taking the ovulation inductors. She told me it was expected so I just didn't give it much thought.
"Okay. Well, I have your results." she printed them and gave me the sheet of paper. Before I could read it, though, she said,
"Congratulations, Mrs. Black. You're having a baby."
[EPOV]
Bella was looking at me with tears in her eyes. Happy tears this time around. She had just told me the IVF had worked and she was pregnant. It reminded me a lot of seven years before and I realized how much things had changed and how differently we were both behaving. When she got pregnant with Seth, she was really scared and I was an idiot. Well, she was still scared, but for very different reasons now. And I was extremely happy this time around. Not only was this child planned, he or she would bring us a new hope.
She and I decided against telling Seth at least until she was past her 12 weeks. Her first ultrasound was at five weeks and everything looked okay. There was no telling if more than one embryo had caught yet, but what mattered is that everything was going fine. Her parents were not very happy with us about that story, but there was no going back now. Besides, it was for a great reason. She told me that Jacob hadn't really said anything when she talked to him about being pregnant. I had a feeling he was seeing someone else, and as much as I appreciated that he was often at the hospital to see my son and that his love and worry about him seemed very sincere, I thought he was being a jerk to Bella. Sometimes I just wish she would file for divorce already. And then I would beat myself up over it, because I just couldn't have feelings for her. Not at that moment.
When Bella was ten weeks, we had another ultrasound and I went with her, like I always did when she was pregnant with Seth. Her stomach was starting to show already, and she looked even more beautiful than ever. Doctors were monitoring her closely, which meant she had to get enough sleep and eat well, so she wasn't skinny anymore and her eyes no longer had bags under them. Bella was constantly worried about Seth and stayed a lot of time at the hospital, of course, but now was different.
Once at Dr. Lake's office, after Bella changed into a hospital gown and laid down on the medical table, a nurse helped the doctor set things up and five minutes later, we were watching our baby on the screen and listening to a very loud and fast heartbeat. Everything seemed to be fine, but I noticed Dr. Lake had her eyebrows knit together and had a weird expression on her face.
"Is everything okay?" Bella was already alarmed so I held her hand in mine and gave it a light squeeze for her to calm down.
"It is, don't worry, it's just that… wait a minute."
She clicked away at some stuff and pressed a button on her keyboard. Suddenly, we were listening to not only one… but two heartbeats. Then, Dr. Lake turned to us and smiled.
"It looks like two embryos developed, Mrs. Black."
"What?" we both asked in unison. Then she turned the screen to us again and circled two small dots on the screen.
"It was hard to see in the beginning, since they're so small, but I tried a different angle and… well, there are two."
Bella and I exchanged a glance and her expression mirrored mine. I was shocked. Not that it wasn't good, but twins? Alice had just had her girls and it wasn't easy on her. Pregnancy, labor and taking care of two babies at the same time…
We went back to Seth's room in silence and she was still surprised, so I pulled her arm before we went in and she looked at me.
"I know you're scared. I am too, especially when I know what the future holds for us when twins are born. I saw Alice and Jasper yesterday and God, do they look tired. Elise and Natalie are a handful. But I'm with you, okay? Besides, our son doesn't have only one, but two chances now."
She gave me a smile and pulled me in for a hug. Her hair smelled good and made me feel at home. I hugged her back with my arms around her waist and that moment felt so intimate that for a second I almost forgot we weren't together. God, I couldn't allow myself to get so head over heels for her, she was still married. I hated to think that maybe my dad was right the whole time and that I always had feelings for Bella. Now was so not the time. She still wanted to rekindle her marriage and I just didn't want to be that guy.
"Thank you." her sweet voice said next to my ear "I don't know what I would do if you weren't here."
We let go of each other and I just gave her a shy smile before entering Seth's room, where he was asleep.
That night, Bella told me to go home and get some rest and I accepted her suggestion. It was almost winter and I hated how cold the house was. In spite of everything, Tanya was a good roommate and I didn't like going home to be alone. Not to mention that I missed Bella a lot. Sometimes I wish we would just… live together like a real family. I know I sounded like a lovestruck teenager, but I could imagine us together. Sadly, it was never going to happen.
I had just finished eating the food I'd ordered when my cell phone rang. To my complete surprise, it was Kate.
"Hello?"
"Edward?" her voice sounded so much like Tanya's I almost hung up.
"Hey, Kate. Is everything okay?"
She took a deep breath.
"Well, yeah. How's Seth?"
I briefly told her about the change of chemo medication, but thought it was best not to tell her about Bella's pregnancy. Who knew what Tanya could do.
"I'm calling you because I have something to tell you. I wasn't going to, but this has gone on for too long now."
My heart started beating faster because that didn't sound good.
"Uh… right? What is it?"
She sighed and then told me,
"Tanya's almost four months pregnant, Edward."
[A/N: I loooooove me some drama. Please review. See you soon!]
