Due to recent changes in ff.net, chapters of this story have been revised to conform to the new rating system. However, for those mature readers who wish to read the original, and much better, NC17 rated version, please visit my web page at http://members.optushome.com.au/dboy/ or Julie's web page at www.voltress.net. Main revisions affect chapters 3, 4, 8, 9, and 10.

Dark As Rain

By Scutter

scutter1200@hotmail.com

Still dedicated to yaoifantasy aka Julie. Yay Julie! Sidenote: Julie's rendition of Squall in "Blood Kiss" chapter 7 is totally sweet!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy 8. I have an excess of gum, though, if anyone wants a stick?

Rated R.

POV of Zell, Squall, Squall, Quistis.

Chapter 11

Okay, so she's not that bad. Doesn't mean I have to like her. And even if she's not causing havoc and destruction, that doesn't mean she's going to do us any good. I look up, into Squall's grey eyes, and realise I have to answer his question.

"Okay, okay, so she's not that bad," I admit aloud. "It's still gonna cause a shit load of trouble when the students get wind of this," I point out helpfully.

His calm, indifferent mask doesn't change. "I know."

"I hope you've got something up your sleeve to deal with that, cos even if Irvine and Selphie and me said we'd help out, we can't follow her around 24/7 to make sure she doesn't get in any trouble."

"Are you still okay with that?" he asks, his voice quiet, but firm. "Helping out, I mean?"

I shrug. "Heck, Squall, I said I'd help, and I intend to follow through on that. Just... don't expect me to like her!"

He sighs, and stands up from his seat on my bed, moving to stare out the window instead. "You could give her a chance, you know."

"Hell no!" Once again, my mouth started working slightly before my brain caught up, and I know that my reply probably hurt Squall. "I'm sorry, Squall,' I apologise hastily, "but why should I?"

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I start to reply, to tell him why he should, or at least ask him to consider it, even in the absence of a reason, but he's already taken off on a tangent.

"She's been a pain in the ass for as long as I can remember, and even if she didn't do as much damage as Seifer, she didn't help us stop him either, even when he'd gone completely off the deep end! How could she not see what an arrogant, conceited, self-righteous bastard he was!? He was downright cruel, and he wasn't even that good a fighter!"

Not a good fighter? Despite the fact that I lost to him in combat, and earned a scar to remind me of the fact for the rest of my life? Even if he was cheating at the time... If I were anyone else, I might have laughed at Zell's strangely ironic denunciation of Seifer. But instead, I just listen patiently to his ranting about my former lover, determinedly ignoring the small ache in my chest. Still, moments like this remind me why I used to find the simple act of listening to people to be such a strain.

Maybe that was why I stayed with Seifer for so long. We didn't talk. I didn't give a shit about him, any conversation we had consisted of 'how was your day, now let's fuck.' Life was simpler that way.

But Zell's different, I remind myself. Seifer may have been happy just having my body, but Zell, I know, wants my mind as well, and my heart, and everything in between.

I just can't help wondering how much that's going to cost me.

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I feel an unmistakable wave of relief, as the shuttle slows to a halt outside Garden's front gate. Seconds later, the electronic door slides open, and I feel a warm, relaxed, and most of all, genuine smile slip onto my face, for what seems like the first time in weeks.

Quistis pauses on the shuttle's steps, her bag slung casually over her shoulder, and meets my gaze for only a second, before a similar expression lights up her own features.

"Squall, I'm so glad to see you!" She walks sedately over to where I wait for her, then startles me slightly, when she envelops me in a warm hug. I'm not so adverse to physical contact now, though, and I remember I'm supposed to hug her back. "How are you?" she asks.

She seems to want a real reply, rather than the standard social fluff people churn out in such situations, and so I consider the question for a moment. "Good." I think that sums it up well. "What about you?"

Again, the brilliant smile. "Ooh, much more relaxed, I think." She winks at me, and gives me a shy little shrug. "A little time off can do wonders for a person. Has anything much changed around here?" She hands me her bag, which I obligingly take, as we begin to wander back into Garden.

"A few things have," I reply vaguely. In more ways than one, I think to myself, before filling her in on... most... of the details of the past few weeks - the mission in Timber, my reinstatement as Commander, and Garden's plans to reopen in the near future.

Several minutes later, we have arrived at her suite, and I'm not surprised when she invites me in. Some things are better said behind closed doors. She drops her bag on the couch, and moves into the kitchen to make coffee, thus her back is towards me when I hear her voice, quietly admitting, "I missed Garden while I was away."

She doesn't seem to know how to continue, and I let the silence stretch for a moment, not from a desire to let her talk, but rather, from a lack of knowing what to say.

She breathes a small sigh, the breath sounding slightly strangled. "I was terrified, after we got back from..." Her voice falters just a touch. "...From time compression. Not from what happened there, mind." She stops fussing in the kitchen and turns to face me, leaning not-quite-casually against the counter. "Maybe it sounds stupid, but... I was terrified that no one here would let me go. I thought I'd be trapped in Garden for the rest of my life, and people would always want me to be some war-hero, and I'd never get to chose anything else." She smiles sadly at me, and I remember, once again, why she and I became such good friends after the war. She has a way of seeing through people, past what they say into what they feel. I think, perhaps, she could always do that to me. "I'm not a fighter, Squall. I never was. I don't want to spend the rest of my life dodging T-rexes and scraping green goo out of my hair. That's why I had to get away from here, and see something else for a while. Just to prove that I could. The thing is, I never actually expected that I'd miss it," she adds sardonically. "Garden is my home." She gestures to the room in general, meaning to indicate the rooms and hallways far beyond these four walls, as well. "I don't think I could ever leave it for good." She shakes her head, mainly to herself, I think.

I have a feeling that her statement was merely rhetorical, and she's not actually asking me to solve the problem for her. Still... "I could reinstate you as an instructor."

She looks up, surprised. "Oh, you don't have to do that..." she begins, perhaps thinking I was just feeling sorry for her, but I interrupt.

"Most of the others are instructing," I explain. I don't have to elaborate on who 'the others' are. "We're getting a whole pile of students in wanting to learn more about weapons and combat skills, after the war, so we're each teaching an advanced combat class part time, between SeeD missions. If you wanted to, you could have a full-time class, instead." I wait patiently, as Quistis considers this idea.

Finally, a slow smile spreads across her face. "I think I'd like that," she replies quietly, but pleased.

Unfortunately, I have more news to tell her. "Fujin... reapplied to complete her training in Garden." I pause, giving that time to sink in. "She arrived here yesterday," I finish, when I don't get any immediate reaction. Had I been speaking to anyone else, I wouldn't have dared blurt that out quite so bluntly. Quistis, though, has always taken a more reasonable approach to things than our comrades, and I'm not disappointed this time, either.

She frowns a little, turning back to finish making our coffee for a few quiet moments, while she sorts out her thoughts. "I assume," she says suddenly, turning to face me once again, "that you have some good reasons for accepting her?"

"I do," I reply, and briefly explain to her what I have already explained repeatedly to Zell, Irvine and Selphie, as well as outlining their various reactions to the news. This time, however, her reply surprises me.

"Just so that you know," she begins, seriously, "I don't hold Seifer responsible for any of the war." The surprise must have shown on my face, despite my attempts to remain calm, as she hastily continues. "He was under Ultimecia's control, and none of us really have any idea how much that changed him. Look at Rinoa, when she was possessed. She set Adel free, and caused a whole heap of trouble, but no one holds her responsible for that, so why should Seifer be any different?"

I frown at that, wondering why, indeed, there is a difference, and realising, at the same time, that even I'm not quite sure how I feel about Seifer at the moment. I've spend so much time concentrating on Fujin that I hadn't given my former rival and lover much thought at all.

"Seifer was an asshole, Squall," Quistis tells me bluntly, when I don't reply. "Arrogant and rude and a whole lot of other adjectives I'm sure you've heard him called before. But he was not a murderer, or a dictator, and I for one refuse to believe that even he would have taken pleasure in seeing other people hurt or killed."

How's that for an eye-opener. I had thought that I was fairly liberal minded when it came to Seifer, but Quistis seems to have blown even my generosity out of the water.

I wonder briefly if I should tell Quistis about Zell and me. Hyne knows I can't make any sense of it myself at the moment, and she might just be open-minded enough to handle being told that her Commander is fucking another man... But that naturally brings up the question, what would I tell her. Zell and me are... dating? We're not. We don't date, we don't 'go out'. We go down to the Training Center, get all hot and sweaty together, then beat a hasty retreat to one or the other of our rooms. We're blowing each other on a regular basis? Somehow I don't think she'd appreciate being told that little detail, all by itself. We're boyfriends? I don't know... are we? I can't pretend it's just sex, Zell's made that quite plain. He... It's not that he wants me to talk to him, which I know he does, though he'd never force me to. It's more that I know he listens when I do talk. And I don't mean he hears like other people do, putting my words on a pedestal, because they came from the Lion, so they must be right. He just listens to me, and weighs up what I say, mostly reasonable, and almost logically, and...

I glance up at Quistis, and see she's watching me with a perplexed frown, and I realise it's been a good few minutes since I said anything. "Sorry, I...was just..." I try to explain, but I can't get any further than that.

She smiles patiently at me. Like I said, Quisty has a way of understanding people. "You have my support for anything you need with Fujin," she tells me, bringing my mind back to our previous conversation topic. "Let's try and let Seifer's ghost rest around here, shall we?

Somehow, I can't quite manage to smile back.

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It may sound terribly snobbish of me, but I am utterly relieved that I don't have to live in the dorms any more. After having my own room, and a decent portion of privacy, even for this short time, I have to wonder how I ever put up with the noise, the crowding, the constant presence of someone else in your room, in your cupboard, in your bathroom, moving your shampoo, borrowing your clothes, using your toothpaste...

Today, the dorm hallways are once again crowded and chaotic, after a reasonable long period of relative quiet. The live-in students had of course stayed with Garden during it's wartime activities, but any of the students with homes to go to had left several months ago, owing firstly to the war, and then to the slow rebuilding effort, which had turned instructors into mechanics and classrooms into conference rooms and workshops.

But today, it's all starting up again. Hundreds of new applicants, and a large group of former students have arrived, ready for Garden's official re-opening in three days time, and we're now faced with the chaos of allocating rooms, uniforms and schedules to the 400-odd youngsters who are currently creating havoc and one terrible din throughout Garden.

"Heads up!!"

A football comes sailing down the corridor towards me, though I have no problem in reaching up to intercept it before it reaches its intended recipient. Lightening fast reflexes and a heavy speed junction have their uses... even in a dormitory hallway!

I stride over to the blond haired youth who threw the ball... who is now looking rather sheepish, as he realises who I am. "Playtime doesn't come until after your afternoon nap," I tell him firmly, "and ball games," I place the ball firmly back into his hands, "are confined to the Quad. Any questions?"

"No Ma'am." I suspect he would have snapped to attention, given the chance, but unfortunately, the new cadets haven't yet been taught how to do that... He ducks his head, and scampers off in the direction of the registration booth.

"Well, you're certainly a natural at that," I hear a voice behind me compliment me, and I can't keep the smile from my face as I turn around. "Keep that up and Squall won't get to have any fun scaring these kids into line." Zell is bouncing on his heels, smirking at me mischievously.

"Zell! It's wonderful to see you again." I open my arms to him, and he happily steps forward for a hug, nearly squeezing the breath out of me in his enthusiasm. Hyne, I'd forgotten how strong he is...

"I heard you were coming back," he says, grinning widely at me, "Though I gotta say, I didn't think you'd want to be back here right in the middle of this muck," he gestures to the hoards of teenagers careening about the corridors.

"And miss the chance to be adored, worshiped and praised as the tremendous war-hero I'm not?" I ask, sardonically. "Never!"

Zell laughs. "Heck, if you thought the Trepies were bad, you should see some of this mob! I've had everything from being asked for my autograph to being offered a free blow job from my fan club, and that was just in the last half hour!"

As it is, I can hear the faint murmurings of the students in the hallway around us. No one is oblivious to our presence, and anyone who doesn't know who we are would had to have been living in a hole in the ground for the past few months. Even if word didn't spread far enough during the war, the media jumped on us so-called war heroes after it was over, splashing our pictures across every newspaper and magazine in the known world.

"I hope you didn't take up that offer," I mutter to Zell, dodging a group of three girls who come racing around the corner towards us.

Zell snorts, and then chuckles at the idea. "Not much need for that sort of thing." He seems about to say something else, before suddenly changing his mind. His comment didn't exactly make sense to me, but now, surrounded by over-eager ears and mouths that are likely to flap at any hint of a rumour, however small, is not the time or place to question what he means.

Zell looks up then, at something over my shoulder, and grins as he calls, "Hey, Squall! Come down to see what havoc we've created?"

Squall almost smiles as he reaches our side. "Zell, Quistis. I was hoping one of you would be around. It seems to keep the chaos down... a... bit..." He trails off, as we look around, and realise that the entire hallway has gone dead silent. Half the students are staring studiously at the floor, or at their books, as they shuffle off to their assigned rooms. The other half are standing stock still, gaping at the Lion.

"Or you could just wander the halls, and no one would dare put a foot wrong," Zell mutters, not unkindly, but rather, perplexed.

Squall closes his eyes briefly, then, apparently deciding to ignore the blatant stares, asks, "Have either of you seen Irvine or Selphie this morning?"

Zell shakes his head. "Last I heard, they said they were gonna lay low until the commotion was over."

"Meaning they're holed up in Irvine's room having mad bunny sex..." I hear Squall mutter, and I allow myself a small chuckle. "I'll see you later then," he throws over his shoulder as he moves to leave. "And thanks for your help," he adds, walking with ease through the path between the students that seems to open magically before him.

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Feedback will be used to make origami party hats. Flames will be recycled as kitty litter.

Thank you to Redrum, who was my one and only reviewer this week. Yay Redrum!!!

If anyone is wondering, my justification for Seifer's innocence in aiding Ultimecia comes from the final scenes of the game, where he's fishing in FH. If you watch his face, as he looks up and sees Garden going by over head, he looks exactly like a little boy who knows he's done something wrong, and is ashamed of it. Maybe it's reading a lot into just a facial expression, but it always gave me the impression that Seifer either regretted, or was sorry for what he had done.

No one voted on Squall vs Zell on top (see chapter 10 for details), so I can't give you a vote tally. My muses have just about packed up and gone home this week in disappointment. I shall try to tempt them out with lemon sorbet. Failing that, I will try for the world's greatest sugar high.