A/N: After having had incredibly productive days both on the 13th (I replaced many of my old clothes, and went shopping,) and the 14th (I studied through my old algebra books to assure that I'll be ready for my upcoming school year,) I'm glad to be updating this story again today! I just wanted to thank my readers – I know that this story hasn't been updated in a while, and I'm not always the most consistent when it comes to updating, but I really am going to make an effort this year to update more frequently. Your support has been so inspiring and encouraging, and I'm really happy to be writing again. I'm going to respond to reviews on my previous chapter (Harold,) later on today, but I'll respond to the guest reviews that I received here.
Nep2uune: This review is very much appreciated! And yes, although Harold, Stinky, and Sid were never the main characters of the series, one thing that I've always figured is that nearly every character (with the exception of Arnold and Helga, perhaps,) would want to have a bigger role in the stories (or, in the case of the character that I'm writing about here, a more positive role!)
Guest: Thank you for this review! And yes, I've always thought while reading different stories that the majority of the Hey Arnold characters wouldn't like what was written about them too much, even though as readers, we generally like what we've read on this site.
Oh, and just to clarify, Miriam is sober in this chapter. I've always thought that Miriam would actually be a great writer if she weren't constantly drunk, as we've seen off-handed suggestions in different episodes that she happens to have an appreciation for literature. I figure that when Miriam was writing this, Olga was on a visit (hence why she wrote her letter two chapters ago,) and well… we all know how Miriam sobers up only when Olga visits. What a shame, but she talks about it more in this chapter. Some of her writings are a bit messy and jumbled, but I'd expect it somewhat from Miriam.
Dear… err, writers,
I'm Miriam Pataki, and I was asked by my wonderful daughter Olga, and another young lady… Naomi-something, I believe, to read some of the stories on this site and review them. I've only read a few of your… stories, but after reading them, I've decided that I do want to critique some and praise others.
I don't intend to complain, but one thing that I'd like to start off with saying is that, much like what Olga has said, I feel that my family and I have been wrongly portrayed in many of these stories. I don't mean to be rude, but reading some of these has made me want to have a smoothie, but I'm working on cutting back on my smoothies. I've seen awful things written about us on this site. I did enjoy a lot of your stories – like the ones about… Archibald and my little girl, which I'll talk about more later – but I feel that the way that my family has been portrayed in many of these stories has been utterly disrespectful. I've seen my husband portrayed as a physical abuser, I've read about my darling Olga becoming an alcoholic, and I've read many stories about myself where I feel that I am negatively portrayed.
When my little Olga first read these stories, she immediately came crying to B and I. She had read a story where B had… oh, I can hardly say it… well, he had been beating my little girl, Helga. Olga was horrified to read this story. She was crying in my arms. I could hardly get past the first few words of the passage. B was horrified, too, which I'm sure that he'll elaborate on when he writes his letter (I don't expect that his letter will be very… kind, just as a warning to you all.) He was shaking, and he hugged Helga harder than I've ever seen him hug her before. I find it appalling that anyone on this "Fanfiction" site believes that B would ever beat Helga. B can be an intimidating man, that I will admit, and we don't always show it the best, but we really do love Helga.
I understand that my family is by no means perfect. B will be upset if he reads this, but I won't deny that our family has had some problems that we will be working on. I am partly angry with the way that I have been portrayed in many stories, but I'll admit that I am very ashamed of myself as well. Reading some of the stories, though many are dishonest portrayals, have really helped me to look into a mirror of how I might be perceived by outsiders. I know that there are certain… truths that I don't want to get into about how I have been portrayed in some stories.
Yes, I am an alcoholic. I've never wanted to admit this, and I'd really prefer it if these stories weren't so obvious about it, but it is true. The smoothies are just such an easy way to let go and forget about things. When I'm drinking a smoothie, I'm living in the past, always… the nice, sunny, past on my old little farm. When I'm not drinking a smoothie, I'm answering to B yelling at me, and Helga looking at me like she wishes I weren't her mother. It's not the easiest thing to get through. I'd like to work on recovering, for the sake of my little girl, but I know that it will take time. I hope that I can be strong and pull through.
I really would like to admit here, once again, that I am ashamed. For years and years, I have not been a very good mother to Helga. I didn't even have much of an idea that she was so depressed, up until I read these works. She has deserved much better from me, and this is something that I do not say often. However, I would like the chance to defend myself.
One thing that I have seen pointed out in many of these stories is the favoritism that B and I have toward Olga. I know that having a favorite child isn't the best thing, but it's a much more complex issue. Olga just makes it so… easy. I'm not suggesting that she makes it easy by being a perfect child, but Olga really loves us. Olga is affectionate, and she just reminds me so, so much of how I had been when I was her age. Oh, it's almost like looking at a little copy of myself. And B adores her just so, so much, which makes it easier (not that B doesn't adore Helga, but he shows it differently.) It's not that we don't love Helga. It's just that Olga is always smiling, always laughing, always happy… and Helga walks around here every day like she hates us. If she does, it's not like I can blame her.
I know that none of these things are good excuses. I know that everyone reading this considers me a bad parent, and I don't blame them. I simply wish that they'd stop writing stories where B is hitting the women in this house and I'm just some old alcoholic who will never get off my butt (well, I suppose that that's somewhat true, but at the very least these stories have inspired me to work on it,) and Olga spends so much time crying. There certainly are truths, but I feel that B and I would never be as cruel to Helga as we are in some of these stories. Ultimately, my issue with these stories is that the people writing them seem to forget that we really do love our little girl, even if we have a tough time showing it.
I plan on attending rehab. B doesn't believe in therapy or rehab, but I'll argue my case. I haven't been known in recent years to win many arguments with B, but this is something that I really do want, and if I can do it for Helga, I'll go ahead and try out rehab. I'd rather talk about some of my problems with people who can relate as opposed to seeing them written about. I must repeat that B will absolutely not like this very much at all.
I think it would be nice to see more stories where I make a return to work. I do remember the time when I had returned to work and it caused a bit of a rift in my relationship with Helga, but I do think that it could be different this time.
Something that makes me very happy about these stories are the fact that they have helped me to learn more about Helga. I have come to realize from reading these stories that I do not understand Helga as much as I did when she was six – she's growing up each and every day (why, she's eight now! Or nine?,) and I really haven't been a big part of her life, have I? I presume that what I have read about is true, based on the fact that so much of what I've seen written about my family is somewhat true, albeit over-exaggerated.
One story that has contributed to me learning much more about my little girl is "Learning to be Helga" by Azure129. I was a little bit shocked by some of the scenes where their relationship seems to be a bit… mature, but I was overall pleased by just how much I managed to learn about little Helga! Oh, why, I never knew that she liked poetry, or writing! I used to like writing a lot when I was young, if you can't tell. I'd spend nights near the campfire, just reading my old Sylvia Plath books and dreaming about what things might be like when I grew up. I had such an exciting life during those days. Horseback riding lessons, afternoon tea with my mother and father… oh, I miss it…
I also really liked the fact that B and I weren't portrayed as monsters in this story. I felt like I was reading about myself, really. I was truly happy about the fact that B and I seemed to start forming a closer bond with Helga. I'd really love to have a close relationship with my little girl, even if it might not always seem like it. I really liked B's reaction in the story to Helga dating that little boy. B certainly was over-protective when Olga started dating, but I've never really thought about how he might act when Helga starts dating (or, based on what I've reading, when he finds out that she does have a little boyfriend…)
A story that I liked, even though it made a bit sad, was "Quiet Desperation." It was so, so, incredibly well-written, and it was one of the first stories that inspired me to truly want to get my life together. It does feature mentions of B physically abusing Helga, but it was a truly introspective piece on my life, and I'm ashamed by how some of it seems to truly pertain to the way that my life has actually been for the past eleven years or so.
I was also a big fan of "On Breaking" by Whirlwind18. I loved that Stella character! She seemed to be such a sweet woman. It made me cringe a bit to read about my alcoholism, but it's one of the most well written stories that I've managed to read. I'm so glad that I made a friend in Stella. Isn't she little Arnie's mother? I heard that that boy just got his parents back… mmm, I forgot who told me. If I were… feeling better, I might invite her out for a coffee date or something of the sort. I'm in no hurry, but it'd be nice to make friends again. I had a lot of friends when I was young, but over the years, things have just… changed.
I was also a fan of another Whirlwind18's stories, "On Strength." I nearly cried while I was reading it. It almost read like an actual day of my life. I just love the stories where Helga and I really do seem to start getting along. I know that she wouldn't know it, but it makes me so happy to read about. I hope that this sort of fiction really does become a reality.
I can also agree with Olga that "The Argument" was a heartbreakingly realistic story. I almost wonder while reading these stories if someone had put cameras around our old house, because the conversation in "The Argument" was almost exactly as I remembered it. It makes me sad to think about, but B really did want me to… terminate my pregnancy with our little girl. I still don't understand what his hesitation was about it, but it really was something for me to ponder.
One thing that really makes me happy about these stories is the fact that my little girl seems to have found some kind of happiness in… err, Archibald? Arnie? Oh, yes, Arnold. I know that B and I haven't really been able to give Helga the kind of happiness that she deserves, and I knew that my little girl had a big heart, but I didn't know that she had one big enough to be in love with this little boy! Oh, I just love the way that I've seen their relationship written and portrayed. It seems so complex and adult, and yet I still feel like I'm actually seeing my little girl talk! I wish that Helga and I were closer, so that she'd tell me more about it.
Something that makes me sad is that I haven't seen as many stories of B and Helga making up, but I do understand that. I haven't treated Helga the best either, but B is more… open about it when he is upset with Helga. I understand that B has mistreated Helga – I've even seen some of the things he's said to her being called "emotional abuse," which I won't agree or disagree with – but I really do believe that if he were able to realize some of his mistakes in the way that I've realized mine, he'd realize that he wants a closer bond with Helga, too, like we have with Olga. Or at least I hope he would. If not, then… at least I'll be trying my best to be there for Helga, from now on.
I've even read a few stories about some of Helga's little classmates, but I don't really remember most of their names. I do remember little Archie, of course (I hope I can meet him, soon, if I go through with rehab,) and I also remember reading stories about… Helga's little friend… Phoebe, I think… and Olga's little sis – Lila, that's it! I used to think that her name was "Lolli," but Olga's been correcting me on that a lot lately, and well, I can't go on disappointing Olga. That little Phoebe seems so smart, what a great little influence for Helga. And as for Lila, well, I don't really know why she seems so mean in so many of these stories. I've met her more than a few times (Olga loves bringing her over and she loves talking about little Lila,) and Lila seems to be such a little sweetheart!
I've seen a few stories where Olga seems to be badly written too, which I also just don't understand. What do some of these writers have against sweet, young girls? Not that Helga isn't a sweet, young, girl because she absolutely is, but so many of these writers seem to take Olga and Lila and turn them into some kind of high school mean girls. Now, I certainly don't know Lila as well as I know Olga, but neither have ever made a bad impression, and I just don't understand where some of these writers are coming from.
Why don't people write more about our little Olga? Now, Helga is absolutely my little girl, and I hold a place near and dear in my heart for her at all times, but I just don't understand why there are so few stories of Olga. There are sixty-nine stories of Olga, and 3,600-something of Helga! I don't mean to get started with comparing my girls, because I know that that's something that B and I have problems with, but I do think that these writers could afford to put out some more stories where Olga has some kind of role. I remember that she was very upset when she found out that she had so few stories written about her, and I could hardly believe it when I had seen it myself. Personally, while I love stories about Helga, I think that my Olga would be a very interesting person to write about. I do appreciate the fact that these stories have opened me up to more knowledge about Helga, but I think it would be fair to write more about Olga.
I hope he doesn't read this, but I understand why people don't write about B much. He can be a bit… overbearing. He's not very introspective. I've been married to him for over twenty years now, and I still know just as much about him as I knew when we married all those years ago. I could never divorce him, though. I'll be the first to admit that there's not much love in our marriage anymore, but there is a feeling of comfort and familiarity. I've never been the sentimental type, at least not until I seemed to spend more time in this house.
Well, now B wants me to bring him his belt. I've ought to be going. I hope that what I've written here inspires some people when it comes to writing me, and that my family is acknowledged in stories as something more than a lost cause. I also hope that everyone reading this goes on to have a very pleasant day.
