Say what you will about Tony Stark, Chun-Li Zang thought with some grudging respect, he sure doesn't waste time.

Coulson, who introduced himself as agent Phil Coulson of SHIELD, had barely been able to greet Stark before Tony had hustled Lilith through a large metallic door and into some kind of hidden lab. The entire time, the billionaire had offered Lilith, and everybody else within earshot, a stream of less than subtle warnings about "Agents", and "The Man". The large door shut with an audible clank, leaving the rest of Stark's little entourage to fend for themselves.

Dante seemed perfectly content with this arrangement. With a cursory greeting of "Hey Phil", he removed his long red duster with a flourish, which somehow included wrapping his longsword up in the jacket, and tossed the bundle onto a nearby sectional sofa that looked too expensive to even sit on. Now largely unencumbered, the demon hunter vaulted over the counter of the penthouse's restaurant scale bar, which seemed suspiciously close to the lab door, and began taking stock. Morrigan seemed to have a similar idea and, with a passing wink at the SHIELD agent, swayed her hips all the way up to the bar. After pouring herself a glass of red wine, which was no doubt outrageously rare and expensive, the succubus took up residence on the barstool nearest to the door.

Coulson watched this impassively, then turned to Peter and Chun-Li with a polite little smile.

"Detective Zang," He said and they shook hands. "Nice to finally meet you. SHIELD has kept up with your record, and it's a shame our headhunters didn't find you sooner."

"Nice to meet you too. And luck of the draw, I guess."

"If you ever change your mind..."

Chun-Li gave her head a gentle shake. "I appreciate the offer, but Fury's already asked and I've declined. I'm where I need to be. Interpol is still dealing with Shadaloo and I'm not about to call in quits." The image of a man in a red military-like uniform, a mad smile twisting its way across his face just under a pair of bone white eyes filtered through the Chinese woman's mind. She still had a certain score to settle as well, and Interpol was the closest to tracking down that monster .

"I'll tell Director Fury to keep the offer on standby then." Coulson's light blue eyes then shifted to Peter."I heard about your new 'assignment'. You keeping out of trouble, Pete?"

The webslinger's laugh was cut off by a mockingly confused noise from his partner.

"Pete huh?" Chun-Li quirked an eyebrow at him, and rubbed her chin contemplatively. It also did wonders for covering up the grin that she was desperately trying to hold back as she watched her partner start to fidget. "That's so strange. I could have sworn you said your name was Ben Reilly."

When he'd first come to Interpol, Peter had tried to maintain his secret identity, and so he'd initially introduced himself to everybody as Ben Reilly. Of course, 'Detective' wasn't just a word Chun-Li bandied about to make herself feel important. She'd played along with his attempts for about an hour, before she suddenly 'recalled' that the photographer most responsible for Spider-Man pictures, was a guy by the name of Peter Parker. Pete had tried to play that off, saying that the Parker guy was nice, but a little overenthusiastic. The Interpol agent had nodded sagely at that, and then brought up the fact that she'd done a little digging on 'that Parker guy' because darned if he didn't pop up in the most convenient places to get pictures. And, as it turned out, Peter Parker was raised by his aunt and uncle; an uncle Ben and an aunt whose maiden name was Reilly.

It really was quite the coincidence. Chun-Li thought, losing her battle against a smile as she remembered his desperate attempts to deny it. He broke down after another twenty minutes of her prodding him.

Peter took of his Spider-Man mask, and cast a frown at Chun-Li. "You're never going to let that go, are you?"

The Chinese woman smiled at him pleasantly. "Not on your life."

"Hm. Well," Coulson interrupted thoughtfully. "At least you two are able to cooperate. There were concerns about allowing other agencies access to a high profile meta-human such as yourself."

"Aww, Phil," Peter faked a sob and tapped his chest with one hand. "That gets me right here man. I knew you cared. Does this mean we can go to the Agent-Vigilante baseball meet? I hear they have freeze pops."

"I'll think about it," The SHIELD agent replied. "Though I will have to file a report for your falsification of personal information Peter. Director Fury won't be particularly happy about that. He likes to keep an eye on everything."

"Are you kidding? And 'an eye'? Really?"

"Did it seem that way? My apologies. I'm being very serious. Your personal information is both SHIELD's insurance against possible misconduct and, in the event of a medical emergency, a way to safely guarantee your health. Any falsifying of such information is strictly forbidden under several different SHIELD directives."

The wallcrawler rolled his eyes. "You sound like a 'Terms and Service' thing I read once. Do I get downloadable content for free, or am I getting charged?"

Coulson didn't exactly smile, but one side of his lips did curl upwards into a reasonable facsimile.

"If you decide you want to re-color your costume, you'll have to purchase any additional colors. And don't get me started on balance tweaks. Those can be a doosey."

Peter shook his head and chuckled. Chun-Li, for her part, merely watched the two banter. For the past few months, she'd had the monopoly on exchanging quips with Spider-Man, and seeing it directed at somebody else for a change was oddly fascinating.

"So Phil," Dante called from his station at the bar. The demon hunter was currently making faces at the label of a large glass decanter filled with dark brown liquor. "What brings you down from that Star Destroyer of yours?"

Coulson turned to face the bar, his expression reverting back to a neutral mask. "A standard Observe and Assessment assignment. Stark hasn't had a child for more than twenty four hours, and already things have come up. Two different extra-dimensional incursions in the same day, one at a public venue, is something SHIELD is taking very seriously. And then there's the matter of the 'dinosaur' that appeared on the I-95 freeway just over three hours ago. I believe you chased it."

"Eah," Dante waved one hand dismissively, and then other scooped up another bottle for inspection. "It was all a part of my master strategy."

"He means he jumped out of the car to fight it, but then it ran right past him," Chun-Li interjected.

"Don't listen to her, Phil. She was too freaked out by the webhead's driving to see what really happened. I had it on the ropes, then it decided to wuss out. Not much of a demon, if ya ask me."

"I'll have to edit that into the incident report then," the SHIELD agent assured.

"Sure will," Dante replied flippantly. Having looked over the lion's share of Tony's personal stock, the demon hunter decided to take the easy route, popped open a dark brown mini-fridge and snatched a beer. Thanks to his half demon heritage, Dante didn't need a bottle opener and just popped the cap off with his thumb, then took a swig. He smiled at Coulson. "So, how's 'the cellist'?"

"On tour in Rome, last time we talked. Had some bad fish, so I sent her some flowers. And a teddy bear."

Dante laughed. "Really? Never would have pegged her for being a 'flowers and teddy bear' kind of girl. Man, when I first met her, she had a major stick up her ass."

"There's no need for insults. And if you continue, I'll have to ask you to step outside."

"Yeah, yeah," The demon hunter took another swig from his bottle, grin still firmly in place. "So, has she gotten any better?"

Agent Coulson's lips twitched again, though if it was towards a smile or a frown Chun-Li couldn't be sure, and replied, "She has her charms. And she's very persistent."

"Heh. I'll take that as a 'no'."

"'Cellist'? When'd you get yourself a lady Phil?" Peter asked.

Dante nearly choked on his beer, and his barely suppressed chuckles drew everybody's attention. This included a mild glower from Coulson. The half demon waved away their concern.

"Sorry," he half coughed, half snickered. "Sorry. Didn't notice this." He reached below the bar and held up a wide bottle for all to see. The liquid inside was a conspicuously fluorescent blue. "What the hell is Tony doing with a bottle of Hypnotiq? This is the kind of stuff girly drinks order to feel better about themselves."

"Mmm. And why would you know about 'girly drinks' Dante?" Morrigan spoke up for the first time since they'd arrived.

The half demon's smile disintegrated at her question. He discarded the Hypnotiq and took another sip of beer, grumbling something about it being Trish's fault and how she kept badgering him to try new things.


Lilith looked over the assorted clutter on the lab counter, and found herself frowning in confusion. Much of it looked like random junk, with the vast majority being pieces of chrome tubing. A large dull gray canister sat near the center of the table, and while Lilith fancied it could be a serviceable blunt melee weapon, it didn't exactly fall in line with what she imagined one of her father's armors to be equipped with. And the large plastic funnel just seemed utterly out of place.

"Are...these parts for the suit?" She asked, turning her gaze to the area where Tony Stark had vanished.

"Nope," he replied a little to cheerfully for her taste, and rose up from behind a line of cabinets with a large plastic box. "That's big time tinkering. And you, kiddo, need to start where the rest of us started. But don't worry, I'll help you with your training wheels. We're going to make a pressurized air cannon. The principles behind one are pretty close to how my repulsor technology works: a force is put under heavy pressure, then its released through a small opening to create a powerful directed blast. I'm going to help you put it together. Besides, a lab assistant sounds like fun," Tony set the box down amongst the random doodads and offered a semi-apologetic grin. "And ahead of time, if I call you Igor, sorry."

The half succubus had to admit, she felt her heart sink just a little bit. Lilith had wanted to help out with the big stuff, and maybe get a little hint as to who the new toy might be for. Ok, so maybe her priorities were the exact opposite of that, but still, being forced to start off at the bottom of things was disappointing, even if the thing had 'cannon' in its name. And it brought that little "joke" Tony'd played on her at the house back to the front of her mind. The conciliatory quick bite to eat hadn't really helped her arms feel any less ragged, either.

Lilith's red eyes narrowed slightly at her dad, her frown turning suspicious. "You're not going to make me pick up something heavy again, are you?"

"Just might." The billionaire's pleasant grin wasn't exactly reassuring. He popped open the box and started rifling through it. "But you won't have to take the elevator back down and put it in the car."

"Oh," Lil' replied slowly, turning her attention back to the table. "Well, I guess there's that then."

"Sure is. Aha! Hold out your arm for me real quick kiddo?"

"Hm? Oh, sure," The half succubus did so, her mind renewing itself to the puzzle of what could possibly be made with all the junk in front of her. "So, where do we start with-OW!"

Lilith's arm shot back to her side where it was protectively cradled, and she glowered up at her father. He was holding a syringe, roughly half full of dark red liquid. "What was that for?"

Tony gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry. Usually 'bedside manner' is something really different for me, so I'm new at this doctoring thing. I'll get you a lollipop in a minute. Anyway, I needed a blood sample to test." He took the syringe over to another counter covered in what Lilith guessed were computers, and squirted some of the blood onto a small glass disk. "I was doing some thinking on the drive over. You know," He shot her a look over his shoulder, "about what you said about the armor not working at the mall?"

The half succubus gave a tentative nod. Her inability to summon her zapper during the fight in the mall had been brought up while the group had been talking back at Tony's house, both by Peter and by Lilith herself. Pete had been concerned that she'd be in danger the next time a bunch of goons decided to come after her. Lilith had been more concerned that she couldn't have fun blasting goons with a hand laser. The Iron Avenger had simply nodded thoughtfully, told her he'd look into it, and they'd gone right to discussing where they'd hold up for the next few days.

"Well, it got me thinking," Tony continued and slipped another disk of glass on top of the first, sealing the blood inside. "That you even did that once is kind of crazy. See, what actually does that is called Extremis. It's a technovirus, a bunch of really small robots basically, that rewires the brain into building new things inside your body. I've used it to make an armor that I can summon on command, kind of like how Morrigan changes her wings into spikes and all those other happy fun toys."

The pair of glass disks was inserted into a small computer tray, and a gentle hum began to fill the room. The words 'analyzing' appeared on a nearby monitor, alongside a small progress bar.

"So," Lil' questioned, catching on to what he meant. "Does that mean I have some of it?"

"Probably. Maybe they hitched a ride into you during..." Her father trailed off, expression turning vaguely uncomfortable, then shook his head. "Never mind. Anyway, that's what I'm thinking right now. The whole half succubus and demon magic stuff could be throwing me off though."

"Then why doesn't it work for me like it does for you?"

Tony leaned on the counter and turned his gaze upward, thoughtful. "Well, Extremis is designed with a bio-compatibility failsafe: its tailored to a specific person per dose. If it's not properly synced with whoever is getting it, it can flat out not work, seriously injure the subject or even kill them. The people who developed it didn't want it to just spread around, doing whatever the hell it wants. We have enough of that crap thanks to all those idiots from Umbrella."

His brown eyes fell back onto Lilith. "I'm guessing that however much of it you got, isn't reacting well. Probably confused since you're not genetically the same as I am, so it's coming up with compatibility errors that shut it down before it can really work. But, since you're my kid, there's enough in common genetically for it to attempt to function. If I know what's happening with it, I should be able to find a way to work around the errors, maybe fix it all together."

The notion that Lilith could have her zapper come out on command, maybe alongside a whole armor of her very own, was tantalizing. Incredibly tantalizing, but there was still one priority on the half succubus' mind. She showed Tony the arm he'd sneaked the blood sample from and gave him a pitiable look.

"Lollipop?"

Tony Stark shook his head with an amused grumble. "I offer the kid an incredibly advanced biomechanical power armor of her very own, and all the can think about is candy. You're as bad as Reed's kids."

"...It'll help your bedside manner?

The billionaire's grin vanished and he shuddered just a little. "Egh. Wow. Ok, I know where my head went is my fault, but still. Sure, I'll go track them down."

With that, Tony quickly walked out of the lab and back towards the living area of the Stark Tower penthouse. And that weird guy Lilith's father insisted was named "Agent Buzzkill". Which struck Lilith as odd because she didn't see the man holding any chainsaws. Or killing anybody for that matter.

But that doesn't matter. An armor. Dad can help me get an armor of my very own, Lilith thought, the grin on her lips slowly stretching into a wide anticipating smile. A zapper on both hands, and who knows what other kinds of stuff! Oooh, what I would do with that...


Tony ambled back into the living room of his penthouse, which was always a nice feeling, and found everybody making themselves largely at home. Morrigan seemed to have made herself the unofficial guard to the lab, if her choice of seating was any indication, and a certain half demon rat had already waded his way through a pair of Tony's beers. Chun-Li seemed to be taking a self governed tour of the penthouse, and appeared especially interested in the large balcony complete with four person hot tub. And Peter was chatting with, ugh, a certain interloping SHIELD agent that Tony didn't feel especially compelled to speak with. He decided to deal with the assault on his bar before he continued with Operation: 'make the kid feel better with candy'.

"I have the strangest feeling that somebody is stealing my liquor," the billionaire said, his brown eyes staring pointedly at Dante.

The half demon nodded and pointed the tip of his second beer in Morrigan's direction. "I know. You really should put a leash on her or something. Maybe a bell too."

Tony raised an eyebrow and turned his gaze to the succubus queen. She smiled innocently at him, and took a long drag from her wine glass, making sure to lick her lips.

"Yeah. She has trouble following the rules sometimes. But I live through it somehow. One of my many good qualities I guess."

"One of," Morrigan agreed. "But I doubt I'll learn anything if you don't punish me."

"Alright then. I'll make you go to the opera sometime. Maybe a puppet show. You'd like Ms. Piggy."

The succubus frowned at him. "That wasn't what I had in mind."

"That's the beauty of it. Besides, you like surprises."

"Mr. Stark? Can I have a word?" Coulson interrupted.

And here comes Agent Buzzkillington. Tony mentally grumbled as he moved behind the bar and started searching the bottom cabinets on the wall opposite of the counter. I really need to find out how he keeps getting in here. Maybe I need to install some anti-Agent devices in the air ducts.

"Sure, just make it quick. I'm kind of in the middle of something, and I'm sure MI6 has some stuff for you to do. Fort Knox is probably going to be irradiated or something."

He could practically hear Coulson give that small smile he was known for. A smile that was equal parts polite, and calculating. If there was any one smile that Tony thought could be best put to the face of every evil genius secure in their underground lair, with plans on top of plans, it'd be Coulson's.

"It won't take long, I promise. I just need to know a little about the child. Directory Fury wants a preliminary file developed in case of any meta-human related unpleasantness."

Tony stiffened slightly, feeling something vaguely vicious coil in his chest, then resumed checking for the lollipops. "I'll ask her if she wants to talk to you tomorrow."

"It'd be over in the next twenty minutes if you allow-"

"I said," the Iron Avenger ground out, his expression going stony. "I'll ask her if she wants to talk with you tomorrow. And if she says no, that's that. Director Windu can 'not know' for another day. And if he doesn't want to, well, I won't be the only one to talk to him about it." He heard Morrigan make a sound of agreement. He opened another cabinet and, to his relief, spied a modest white bowl. "Ah. Found you."

Coulson was silent for a beat, then nodded. "Alright. We can wait until tomorrow. I'll let Director Fury know."

Tony's brown eyes flicked to the SHIELD agent, then back to the cabinet door as he closed it, and the angry thing in his chest grudgingly faded into the background. He offered Coulson a nod. Thankfully, Peter Parker inadvertently saved them from the lingering tension when his phone rang. The webslinger checked the screen, and his face crumbling.

"JJ. It would be JJ." He wagged the phone halfheartedly. "I gotta take this. I'll be outside."

This got Dante's attention. "Outside? This place has an 'outside'?" The demon hunter, beer still firmly in hand, leapt over the bar and strode out to a window he evidently hadn't cared to look out. "And it has a hot tub? Man, I might just like this gig after all." He turned back to Tony, eyes wide and almost childishly hopeful. "You get room service up here?"

"Sure," Tony replied. "Fully catered."

"Sweet. I know what I'm gonna be doin."

Tony Stark, treats now in hand, decided it was time to head back to the lab. He had a kid to make feel better, after all.


"Parker!" Was, of course, the first thing Peter heard when he flipped open his phone. Because, hey, not every super hero got to be a billionaire like Tony. Some people still had plain old regular cell phones, thank you very much.

"Yes Mr. Jameson?"

"I need you to drop everything and get on this new story! Rumor's been going around all day that that puffed up turkey of a billionaire Tony Stark has a kid. I want the Daily Bugle to be the first with some pictures of the little silver spoon. Think you can handle that?"

Peter blinked. "Ah, well I guess I could. There's just one problem Mr. Jameson..."

"Problem? What problem? You still have your camera don't you? Still remember how to hit the button that takes a picture? I don't want to hear any blubbering if you've been slacking off Parker."

"Well, no. I still have my camera. It's just that, well, you fired me. A few months ago. Remember that?"

"Fired you?" JJ demanded, sounding as though he couldn't quite recall the incident. The head of the Daily Bugle Communications group, a former newspaper company recently turned 'New Media' corporation, seemed to have a habit of firing people practically without noticing. Peter himself had been fired no less the fifteen times in the past three years he'd worked at the Bugle. "Well. No matter. I'm sure you deserved it, but right now I need you back on the staff. So I'm officially un-firing you as of now."

"Huh," The webslinger replied. "Well, that's very nice of you Mr. Jameson, but I can't really..."

"Look Parker," Jameson cut him off, voice lowering into JJ's best approximation of a caring tone. That said, it was still fairly gruff and louder than most would consider polite. "I know pictures of that wallcrawling menace is your bread and butter. But the fact of the matter is that, at some point, he's going to show this city his true colors. And when that happens, he'll be locked up with all those other masked nutballs on Riker's Island. And then where will you be?"

"Uhhh..."

"Right out on the street!" JJ proclaimed. "You need to branch out with your work a little, kid. If you keep relying on pictures of Spider-Man, you could easily be typecast in this business. And without that menace as your wheelhouse, you'll be crap outta luck." Peter heard what sounded like another phone ringing in the background. "Ms. Brant! You tell my wife I'll take my pills when I need them and not before. And if it's about those damn drapes again, tell her she's not remodeling my house without my permission! Parker, you still there?"

"Yes Mr. Jameson."

"Good. I want photos of Stark's kid on my desk by the end of the week. If you get them to me sooner, you'll get a bonus. Now get out there and get me those pictures!"

The phone call ended with the loud bang of J. Jonah Jameson slamming his old fashioned corded phone back into the cradle. Peter stared at the phone for a moment, then pinched his nose, feeling the beginnings of a headache manifest.

"I swear," Pete muttered. "He only keeps that old phone around because he likes doing that."


Lilith stood in the center of a mob of demons. Her blue and red armor was a wonderful marriage of function and style, and the magenta glow of her repulsors tore through the cloaked forms of Hell Prides. She thought she could hear somebody playing the deep notes of an electric guitar somewhere, but paid her personal soundtrack little mind. One of the little baddies got too close, and Lilith quickly hefted the creature up by its arm, and used it to bludgeon its comrade into a thick sandy paste.

And suddenly that warm hazy feeling she'd experienced at the mall was back, and the half succubus turned. Behind her, Spider-Man in all his tightly clothed glory smashed a pair of the Hell Prides together face first. Lilith wasn't quite sure why the Prides exploded into sparkles, but they certainly didn't harm Spidey's image. Just in front of Peter, Chun-Li used those amazingly long legs of hers to destroy another devil. The force of the blows were causing her blue dress the flutter about, showing that the Chinese woman preferred some tight fitting panty hose as opposed to any sort of pants. Lilith could appreciate that quite easily, actually. Pete turned, and she could just make out a smile beneath his mask.

"Hey Lil'. Once we're done here, you know what happens next..."

"Alright kiddo, here you go."

Lilith blinked rapidly, the demons, soft filter, sparkles, and willing Spider-Man vanishing in a puff of imagination. Her red eyes shot over to her father, who'd wandered past her and was currently checking in on the computer her blood sample had been put into. She then turned her gaze down to the counter, where a small white bowl full of multicolored Tootsie Pops had been set before her.

She immediately nabbed one, a red one that read "Strawberry", tore the wrapper off and popped it in her mouth. The taste was divine, and if there was any lingering resentment toward her father for his terrible bedside manner, it was quickly forgiven.

"Thanks daddy."

Tony gave her a casual wave of acknowledgement. "Mm-hm."

And then, a thought struck Lilith. A niggling little monster that simply wouldn't allow itself to remain unanswered.

"Actually, why do you have these? Do you like lollipops?"

"Eh, sometimes. When I'm in the mood." The Iron Avenger shrugged nonchalantly. "Mostly I keep them around for Morrigan. It gives her something to do when I need a break. "

Lilith's enjoyment of the lollipop didn't exactly come to an abrupt screeching halt. It happened in short, very defined steps. First, she stopped moving the candy around in her mouth, as what her father just said entered her mind. Then her mouth locked up as the exact nature of what was implied attempted to find purchase. She blinked, and her mind repeated the words.

It gives her something to do... Lil' rolled the sentence around in her head. She knew the meaning of this, she was sure of it, but wasn't quite finding the definition. When I need a break.

Unfortunately for Lilith Aensland Stark, the succubus mind comes into the world with a complete academic knowledge of everything they would traditionally need to know to survive. Much like other animals do, actually. Everything born automatically knows how the breathe, for instance, or how to eat. A succubus, in this way, instinctually knows how to derive its own brand of nourishment, in a dizzying variety of ways.

And then it clicked. And Lilith spat the lollipop out with a loud gagging yelp of embarrassed revulsion that had Tony whirling around to make sure she wasn't being attacked.

"You what?" She shouted at her father who, confirming she wasn't in abject physical peril, now looked very confused.

"What? 'I what'?"

"You use them to keep mom occupied?" Lilith slammed her eyes shut and tried to shake every last unbidden image of her mother and father from her head as violently as possible and ew Ew EW!

Tony stared at his clearly distraught child, feeling only more baffled. "Sure, she gets really pushy sometimes and..." And then the meaning of what had been said, the images it could imply, clicked with the father.

Who immediately shielded himself with every denial he had in his arsenal. Tony pointed at Lilith, almost accusingly, his expression shifting into incredulous dread.

"But, you can't be grossed out by that. You're a succubus," Tony Stark shook his head at that mistake. "Half. Half succubus. That's what you girls do and...and" Lilith didn't appear to be listening, so the billionaire fell back on what he felt was a fool proof argument. He gesticulated to her again, almost pleadingly. "Succubus!"

"You're mom and dad!" Lilith retorted, as though it explained everything.

Which, of course, it kind of did. Apparently, some things didn't change between human and demon. Father and daughter stared at each other in horrified silence for what felt like hours. Neither wanting to acknowledge where either of their minds had gone, let alone so casually.

Being the older and wiser of the pair, it was Tony who broke the silence. "...This never happened."

"Yeah. Never. Ick." Lilith agreed readily.

"Moving on?" Her father indicated somewhat pointedly at the pile of air cannon parts that'd been until now forgotten.

Lil' nodded vigorously. "Moving on."

"Right. Moving on. JARVIS, delete that conversation from all internal files. It never happened."

"Of course, sir," the AI replied crisply.


Tony Masters didn't do what he did to feel good about himself. He'd tried that as a SHIELD agent, and it hadn't done much for him. He also didn't do what he did because he was some kind of adrenaline junkie who got off on fighting. Tony had tried that route as well when he'd entered a few of those World Warrior tournaments. He'd gotten some good moves from the fights, but, other than that, it hadn't been that compelling. And people thinking he was related to that annoying karate pretty boy got real old, real quick.

No, Tony Masters, better known as the mercenary Taskmaster, did what he did for one very simple reason: cold hard cash. If he got paid, sign Tony up. Rain, shine, or angry superhuman.

As Taskmaster watched the little red gargoyle thing dump a third suitcase full of bills onto his coffee table, even he had to admit, that was a serious pile of money. Latverian francs, judging by the black and green color scheme of the bank notes, as though the centered portrait of Dr. Doom wasn't a dead giveaway. He lifted one of the stacks and slipped a single franc out of the securing rubber band.

"Consistency feels right," Taskmaster mused, rubbing his fingers across the note. "Color's good, no signs of being copied." He tilted the bank note to several different angles, eyes intent on the Dr. Doom portrait. "Holograph is right there in the eyes, like it should be. Looks like you and the gremlin are legit."

The weirdo who dressed like a Renaissance Fair clown as designed by Tim Burton, held one pale hand to his chest and gasped dramatically. "Forgery? I can't imagine how you could think such a thing. Me and the gargoyle-boy are perfectly reasonable businessmen."

Taskmaster snorted. "Sure ya are. So, the money's real and that means I'm willin' to listen to you. Whatever your name is."

"Call me, Jester," the clown bowed theatrically. "And my job is a pretty simple one, even for you Mr. Skellington."

Tony briefly considered putting a bullet or ten into the smug bastard's long nose. Jester didn't seem to notice and wandered around the room, occasionally poking one of Taskmaster's trophies or knickknacks with his fruity little scepter.

"See, there's this guy I'd like to settle a score with. Beat the crap out of him in front of some people, ya know? But but, but, the little so-and-so's is hanging around with some big players. Real juicers, if you know what I mean. So, I decided I need a little troop of my own. And I want you to help get it started." He tapped the scepter to one ear. "Ya see, these things aren't just to make me look good. I've heard from a few very nice people that there's this lab in Edonia. Depressing little European state near old Doomy-boy's fort. And there are all kinds of interesting things being done there. I want you to go in, and grab a certain somebody from that lab, and bring him back to me. Simple, see?"

The clown waved his scepter and a picture appeared atop the pile of Latverian francs in a burst of blue smoke. Taskmaster glanced at the picture, then at Jester.

"Magic huh? Why not do this yourself?"

"A good performer knows when to let the other actors have their shot." Jester skittered over to the table and smiled at Taskmaster. He held out a gangly white hand. "So, we got a deal?"

Tony Masters took another look at the picture. It showed a massive capsule, large enough to fit something bigger than a man inside, in a bare hospital like room. Imprinted on the center of the capsule was a letter-number sequence.

S-T-001: Pathogen.

Taskmaster took another look at the pile of cash, then at the picture, then settled his gaze on Jester. He shook the clown's hand. "You've got yourself a mercenary."


As with all fan fiction, I own nothing but the premise. Everything else is entirely owned by Marvel Comics or Capcom respectively. As always, thanks to both Dealer and Shyft for making my stuff better than it would be otherwise. And, of course, to the folks who keep up with the story. I'm continually flattered and inspired by your kind words.