Severus had never willingly told this before. There was no one living, not his husband or his best friend who knew the whole story. His Aunt was the only person who knew about the first time his father had nearly killed him.
Severus kept his son's hand. "My father was a drunk who beat my mother when ever he was drinking and when she was not enough he beat me."
Harry was pale but he whispered. "Uncle...the smell of whiskey...at night."
Again the words of not being hit but touched rung through his dads' mind. They had both been worried that Harry had been sexually abused and now this. Severus had to continue. He needed his son to trust him.
Severus removed his robe and shirt. He showed the scars down his back. "He beat me with a belt but one night when I was ten he took a hot poker at my back."
Harry traced a scar that he could see was shaped like it. "Is that when you...?"
Severus nodded. "I had second degree burns. My mother did not want to leave my dad so she took me to my grandfather instead of a doctor."
The one time that Severus had met his grandfather Cygnus Prince had been that night. Cygnus had taken care of his grandson and Severus had stayed at the manor for two months. He had not turned his son in law to the authorities for he had not wanted to bring shame to his family and he had hid their grandson's presence in their manor from his wife. The man had done his best by his grandson and actually managed to have him stay with his sister, Severus' spinster Aunt Ariane, until he had started school nearly a year later. Unfortunately when he returned from school his first year he returned to his dad.
Harry was pale. "He never tried to get you out of there? I mean why did your mother send you to him and not a hospital? Why stay with him?"
Severus sighed. "My grandmother forced Cygnus to disinherit my mother. She felt she had no where to go but she also insanely loved him. Cygnus did his best."
The man had died before Severus' mother had died but he had left his grandson in the will so that if his Uncle died childless which he did when Severus was sixteen years old when his Uncle had died, two years after Cygnus. But the man had also left substantial money to Ariane. That money helped her gain custody of Severus.
Harry was in tears. "I don't get why your Aunt had to fight. I mean you said he nearly killed you twice. Why were you never removed?"
Severus reached to dry his tears. "The first was never reported and the second time he managed to make it look an accident."
His mother had died a few weeks before the school year ended and days after Severus had returned home he and his father had an argument. His father had moved one of his whores into the house. His father had thrown him down the cellar stares breaking his collar bones and a number of ribs, and taking a serious blow to his head. Ariane had got him to St Mungo's and not a muggle hospital or he would have died. Magic had barely saved him. His liver had been punctured as well as a lung and he had been in a coma for a week. Ariane with the money from her brother had bought out the debts from her brother in law and the house and threatened to kick him out and take all he had if he did not hand over custody of his son. He wanted his whore and the house more then his son so he had agreed.
Harry clung to his father. "I am so sorry he did that to you father. I am so sorry."
Severus returned the squeeze. "It took a lot of ears to realize that there were people who loved me enough to know and turn their back on me. My friends, Aunt."
At least twice a week he had come to his Aunt, sometimes a bloody nose or a black eye, others a broken bone. He had always lied about some injury on the playground. She had kept him nights and done what she could for him. She had like her brother been a potions expert though she like Eileen had not done her mastery. Ariane had become an apothecary for she was disowned from her family and had not the money. Eileen gave up magic for Tobias. Ariane had loved her nephew and had wanted to take him since he was a toddler and he first came with bruises but his mother denied the abuse and she had not had the money to fight.
Severus did not return his shirt on and looked at his son's bandaged ribs. "Now Harry please, please tell us what happened. You know I will understand."
Harry looked over at Remus. "I can't."
Sharing a look with his husband he knew that Harry was scared that Remus might not be able to handle this. Remus loved him but he had no experience in this. Severus was a new found father for Harry and shared his history of abuse. He could understand. Remus kissed his son and assured him of his love before leaving.
Harry refused to look up. "He made me do chores since I was three and beat me if I did them wrong."
Severus lifted his son's head. "There is no shame Harry, no shame in this. He was at fault not you. You don't need to look away from me, I swear."
Holding to his dad Harry told of having his arm burned on a stove when he burned the bacon when he was three, of being chained outside like a dog when he wet his bed after a nightmare, of going days without food and even when he had food just bits and pieces. His Uncle never called him his name. Just freak, or dog. He had done everything he could to please the man but nothing had ever been good enough. Nothing.
Severus took a breath. "When I asked if he hit you, you said he never touched you. Harry please be honest, please. Did your Uncle molest you?"
Harry started shaking violently and sobbing. "No. No. Please don't ask me. Please."
Severus held his hands. "Harry you were a little boy. No one deserves to hurt you. Not your master nor your Uncle. I want to help you. Please Harry."
Harry nodded. "He touched me, he'd come into my bed and he'd...I can't remember how young when he started. I was a freak and I deserved it. If I wanted food..."
Sickened that this child had been forced into this for food he listened as his son finally broke down. He told him, touching for years and later oral sex both ways. His Uncle had threatened to rape him but he had never gone that far. He came close when drunk but never fully. Harry had been threatened with being starved or greater beatings of he had not done as told.
His next words sent shock waves though Severus. "I was never allowed to call him Uncle. It was sir or in bed, master and I was his dog."
Severus paled. "You never told Lucius? Harry the terms are not needed for this relationship. He would never have used those words if he knew. Never."
The walls totally down Harry lost control crying in his arms. Everything made sense. Harry's accusations that his fathers had done this to him. It was not simply about Lucius but in a way it was. Harry had never had the strength to say no. He was intimidated by a much older man. He did care about Lucius or found some comfort I n
the relationship or the collar would never have worked. Harry had wanted this but there was the confusion mixed. His accusation to his dads was about both. He knew Harry felt betrayed that no one ever protected him from what had been done to him. As his son drifted off into an exhausted sleep.
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Lucius was surprised when he was asked to speak with Severus and Remus. He was scared after what he had done to Harry but he knew that he deserved what ever either might throw at him. He deserved to be in prison for beating Harry like that.
Severus pointed at a chair. "I am not sure why I am telling you this but you need to know. Harry will never tell you so I have to."
Lucius looked at the door to the bedroom where he knew his lover was sleeping/ "His Uncle abused him badly didn't he?"
Severus nodded. "I will not betray my son's confidence but I will tell you that it was more then phyiscal. And you need to lay off the titles."
Knowing what Severus meant by the abuse being more then physical the comment on titles made him sick. He realized that Harry must have been forced by his Uncle to call him master. Harry had never shown fear over the title but he could not allow himself to continue to be associated with the monster.
Lucius shook his head. "I didn't even think about it. It is traditional to use those titles. He never said anything about it."
Severus shook his head. "He was intimidated and scared. He does care about you. And this relationship is good for you but there needs to be serious changes to it."
For Harry the relationship had been safe. For once he had found someone who made him feel safe and protected. He had been willing to submit himself to the names and the bed and everything else for it was what he was used to. He associated sex with control. He was willing though, he was safe and willing as Lucius offered him love and guidance. Harry was having problems, serious problems, differentiating between what his Uncle had done and what Lucius was doing.
Remus spoke. "My son cares about you and he has felt safe in your arms but when you get angry you remind him of his Uncle."
Severus added. "Harry needs to realize that there is a difference between your correction and the abuse he has suffered as a child like a spanking or a beating."
Many parents spanked their children and his own words to his Aunt that he had only been spanked, rang through his head. Spankings were not a parents' way of inflicting pain and torment. They wanted their children to learn and do better. Masters did that with their pets. They loved, protected and guided them. That was why the number one rule had always been never to hit when they were angry. They were never to scream or touch in anger. Never. That and not ever to use sex as a weapon. Their pet had to be willing every time. Even after twenty years if Remus said no his master had to respect that.
Lucius shook is head. "I did this. I did this. He will never trust me again. I did what his Uncle did. I used pain to punish him. I humiliated him."
Severus put a hand on his arm."He will. You need to build the trust again. First he needs his name back. I believe he proved he has earned it."
Lucius nodded. "He deserves more then his name. I'd never, not knowing this, I will never call him that again. Never."
Though they knew that really Harry should have been released they knew it would not help Harry. Harry had come to depend on and perhaps even love Lucius and if Lucius abandoned him he would think he was even more a freak, he deserved this even more. If Harry was released it needed to be his choice alone. There needed to be changes made including the dog bed. The associations to being an animal like the term pet.
Remus fingered his own. "I sleep in mine from time to time but I never suffered what he has. I don't associate it like Harry does. This needs to change."
Lucius agreed. "It is the way it has been done for hundreds of years but I will do anything. I swear I will do anything to make this better. To help Harry."
It was not just Harry they were worried about. It was not just the fact that Harry ad remained there while he was being beaten and would have allowed himself to be beaten unconscious without fighting back. It was that Lucius had been doing it. The anger that it took Lucius to inflict that damage with a paddle, was immense.
Severus spoke up. "What the hell was going through you Luc? I have never seen you lose your cool like that. Never. You never even yelled at Draco as a kid."
Lucius put his head in his hands. "I don't know. I just felt this rage. I can't explain it but when I thought he was cheating on me...I just couldn't..."
His wife had cheated on him for years with Voldemort and others before him. Her newest lover had helped her try to kill Lucius and Draco, Rabastan the brother of her sister's husband. The whore had betrayed him for years and in his own bed but for the safety of his son he had been forced to let it go. He had been forced to pretend he either did not know or that he did not care. Draco had not known half of what his mother had done. Lucius had protected him as best as he could.
Severus understood. "I know she betrayed you and I know she tried to kill your little boy. But Harry is not Narcissa. He cares about you, he is loyal to a fault."
Lucius shook his head. "I know. I just couldn't control myself. I remembered walking on Narcissa and her lover the night she almost killed Draco and..."
She had escaped and had died before he had ever been able to confront what she had done. Either in their marriage or to their son. He had never loved the woman, it had been a forced arranged marriage but he had been loyal and faithful through it. Her betrayal in trying to kill their son was his main point but he realized with sickening horror he had taken out his anger with his late wife, out on his innocent lover.
He sunk his head into his hands. "You need to help me. I love Harry. I don't want to hurt him again. I am so scared I will do it again. I don't want too but..."
Remus stopped him. "We know. We know that it was over your wife and we'll do what we can. But I think you need some serious counselling."
Severus agreed with his husband. "I think perhaps you and Harry both do. I think perhaps you both need to go to see a psychiatrist at St. Mungo's."
He had never been the one like Harry to want hospitals but he knew that they had a point. He needed some serious help to find a way to get over this anger or he would always be a serious threat to Harry. The thing that scared him the most was he wanted to marry Harry and have kids one day. He was scared he would get angry and he would hurt Harry when he was pregnant or take it out o a chid. He had never hurt Draco before he had also never done this.
Lucius readily agreed to the suggestion. "I love your son and want to make him as safe as possible. If that means seeing a psychiatrist, I will do it for him, and for me."
Severus took Lucius' hand. "I think with Harry we might do family. Speaking to me helped him open up. Maybe this is something we need to do together."
They knew that Harry was scared of hospitals and they knew he would feel cornered if sent to one. He had a hard enough time opening jump to his father and people who he knew he loved and could trust. If they sent him off to the doctor alone or even with Lucius they were not sure that he would be willing to speak.
Lucius pulled out the collar. "I told him even if he did not take it back I would be there and I meant it. I love him. I will make this right. I'll do anything."
Remus was the one who spoke. "I think he will take it back. He does love you and he knows you want to protect him. But you do need to make these changes."
Being forced to pretend to be a Death Eater and perform crimes as a spy for years he had done things he would forever be haunted by but nothing more then this. He was not just doing this for Harry but he was doing it for himself and his son a swell. And if Harry was insane enough to give him kids one day, those kids as well.
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Harry was a bit nervous and if he admitted it, scared when he saw Lucius come in with his dads for breakfast. He needed Lucius, there was still such a draw. He was scared his master had come here to break their relationship once and for all. The man had promised a week but he was here.
Severus sat down next to him. "Harry we're taking you to London. You have an appointment this afternoon with the psych ward at St Mungo's."
Harry went rigid. "No father, please don't lock me up. Please. I'll do better. I'll do better father. Please. Please don't lock me up."
Seeing the absolute fear and pain in the eyes of his son Severus' heart was breaking and he was not the only one. He knew that Harry would react like this. He knew that it would bring memories of a cupboard back to him.
He seized his son. "No. Your dad, me and you are going to the psychiatrist together. Out patient. We're going to talk and help you heal from what was done to you."
Remus kissed is head. "We would never send you away or lock you up. You are our son. We just want to protect you Harry. Nothing else."
Sinking back into their arms he knew he should have trusted that but he was scared. He was so new to having parents to love and protect him. The cupboard and the memories of seeing the Longbottoms and Lockhart, just ran through him.
Lucius sat down. "Harry I am going as well. I realize I was beating you because I have anger with Narcissa I have never dealt with. I need to deal with it."
Harry was shocked. "You called me Harry. Please you said you would not take my collar from me. I can do better."
Lucius cut him off with a kiss. "You earned your name back my love. You are not pet. We are Harry and Lucius. You are not a possession. I love you."
They spoke to him that morning about the talk they had the night before and what Lucius realized about his anger. He loved Harry and never wanted to risk causing him any kind of pain again. He needed to find a way to deal with the anger he had left at his former wife and make sure he never hurt Harry again.
He took out the collar. "If you still want this it will be yours but no more dog beds or names. I love you Harry. You are my sweet. I want to love and protect you."
Harry fingered the collar. "I care about you too Luc. I want to be with you but I am so confused. I miss you and your arms but not like that first night. I..."
Quieting him Lucius assured Harry it was normal for the draw to lessen a bit when he had not been collared very long. He could understand Harry being confused and he expected Harry to be hurt. Being master and pet was all about absolute trust, trusting one's master to guide and protect them. To know they could correct them and never hurt them. Lucius had broken that trust to the very core and Harry had every right to be angry and confused.
Lucius kissed him tenderly. "I want to work with you. I want to show you can trust me. I love you Harry and I'll do anything to make sure I get better."
