Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight related. L.J. Smith and the CW get the Vampire diaries, but the rest is all us!


Dinner with the Undead

On top of the world,
Looking over the edge,
You could see them coming.
You looked too small
In their big, black car,
To be a threat to the men in power
Cloudbusting by Kate Bush
.


Stefan's face was a mask of shock as we stepped into the house and I knew I had two choices. The first was to play it off like Damon had kidnapped me again, which I somehow doubted he would be surprised about; or second, go with it. I guess this "plan" hadn't been discussed with the others, which was all the more fun for me.

"Damon, what the hell did you do?"

Before Damon could even think of answering I took the liberty.

"SURPRISE! We're roomies."

Damon let out a laugh from beside me, but the stick was obviously still rammed up his brother's arse, he didn't even break a smile.

"Damon, can we talk? Outside. Now?"

Stefan reached to physically drag his brother outside. It was amusing but such a time wasting exercise. I was here voluntarily. It was a shock to me, so Stefan's disbelief wasn't that hard to place.

"No need, Steffie," I sang, leaning against the wall in the entry way. "I'm here by my own volition. Well, I mean I would prefer not to be, but seeing as your brother made it impossible for me to stay in my apartment, this is the next best thing. Don't worry though, we can have sleep-overs and braid each other hair. It'll be swell."

Stefan didn't seem bothered by his nickname, and instead went straight to the heart of the problem. He turned on Damon, his posture rigid compared to Damon's relaxed stance. His eyes were narrowed and his lips were pursed as he regarded his brother.

"What did you do?"

"What didn't he do?" I cut in with a Damonesque smirk.

Damon, seemed disinterested in his brother's accusations, his fingers tugged on the ends of my hair instead. He was more interested in pissing me off than fucking with his brother and the line of questioning he was throwing at him. I slapped his hand and groaned as I realized that yet again it was the finger I'd broken. I really was a danger to myself.

"Princess, you really need to learn how to hit someone without breaking a bone."

"Yeah, and you need to learn about personal space, asshole. You're all about violating that aren't you?"

"No, just yours."

"You broke your finger?" Stefan asked, moving toward me. Damon tensed, but it was so sudden and short lived, Stefan didn't seem to notice. "Let me see, maybe I can fix it for you."

"You get some fancy medical degree I don't know about?" Damon scoffed.

"No, but seeing as it's not bent at a stupid angle, we can maybe splint it so the bone heals correctly."

"You're making shit up as you go along."

Stefan shrugged, but rather than looking at Damon, he looked at me. It seemed he was waiting for approval. I nodded, and let him lead me to the couch, while Damon followed, lounging on the arm. Stefan disappeared at high speed that was similar to that of the Cullen's and appeared in front of me again before Damon could say a word.

He worked quietly and gently for a while, and Damon watched with rapt fascination, something I wasn't even aware he possessed. It didn't take long before the movements started making the pain flood my body, so Stefan starting talking to distract me.

"So, not that I'm complaining, but what did he do to make you staying here imperative?"

"He called Alice and told them where I was," I sighed, wincing slightly with pain. I'd had worse so I bit my lip, and carried on. "There's no way they're not going to follow the lead, even though Damon said I booked it, so I need a place to lay low for a while. The wolves led a false trail in the opposite direction. The Cullens know I trust them."

"I'm sorry, Bella," Stefan said quietly, but his fingers were anything but relaxed as his head turned to his brother. "And you . . . What the hell were you thinking bringing a coven of purebloods down on us like that? You don't think Damon, you never think."

"I pulled off something none of you could."

"Oh and what's that?" Stefan asked, his tone full of doubt.

"Bella didn't get to the best bit. While she's here, she's going to be answering our questions. The hell cat much prefers our company to the coven's. It's an even trade, we offer shelter, she talks."

"There were better ways to go about this."

"Were there really, little brother? Please, enlighten me with your infinite wisdom."

"You're selfish and arrogant," Stefan growled, wrapping the last of the bandage around the makeshift split and my finger. He taped off the end and backed off, his finger pointed at me, but his eyes on Damon. "She has a life of her own, you can't expect to manipulate everyone to doing what you want them to do. The world doesn't revolve around you."

"So you'd rather we wait around for this group of Volturi and let them kill us all, including you and your precious Elena? Think about it, our lives are in danger, and Bella wasn't forced to make this decision, she could easily have gone to a hotel or home to where the wolves breed. I offered her this solution, she's the one that took it."

"But can't you see that you're the one to put her in that predicament to begin with?"

I watched them go back and forth for another fifteen minutes, both of them rewording their previous argument so it would sound different. They were getting nowhere fast. Although it was highly entertaining.

I could see that Stefan really did want to protect Elena and their small group of friends. Whereas Damon seemed more interested in saving his own ass, and maybe Elena's, it was as little a concession as he could make.

"If this plan of yours backfires, it's all coming down on you. You want to make the decisions, you will reap the consequences, and I'm sure Bella won't mind backing me up on that."

Both sets of eyes turned to me. I tried not to make a decision, but my phone chirped regardless. Without Jacob here to block Alice's visions, she was back in business, seeing every decision I was about to make.

"Shit, shit and shit again," I muttered, pulling out my phone. I'd worked so hard on not thinking about anything or making a decision, yet obviously something had slipped through.

Can't see where you are. We're at your apartment. Please don't hide from us. Edward's not here, it was too soon. It's just us. Please, come back to see us.

Not likely. Instead I figured to stick with the program. (Which Alice wouldn't see because I was thinking of the hotel plan) and instead typed back a message.

I can't.

And turned off my phone. They wouldn't give up that easily and I was sure they would go looking for a scent or something to help them find me. The thought of them being so close made me shudder, and my anger flared again as I eyed Damon.

"Hope you're happy."

"They won't find you."

"Yeah, well, that's debatable, but I should probably tell you something before all hell breaks loose. Alice will be looking now and I can't afford her finding us because of a stupid mistake."

"Looking?" Stefan asked, losing interest in the argument with his brother and turning all of his focus onto me.

"Yeah, Alice can see the future based on decisions we make. Now that she knows about Damon, she'll be looking for his decisions too. I think you and the others will be safe, but she'll be waiting for him to come and find me, any decision he or I make will map out a future Alice will see. It's complicated and it takes a lot to hide decisions, but you have to train yourself not to think about what you're going to do. There's a good chance she's already seen through the lie, but you can't give away our location. I purposely didn't look at signs or note directions on our way here because I knew she would find us."

Damon laughed I could see he didn't believe me.

"How is that even possible?"

"That's something we can get to later," Stefan said sitting on the couch next to me. "All we need to know is that you can't make decisions for us."

"She's fucking with us."

"Am I?" I asked, sitting forward. "All humans have underlying gifts we can never get to, we only use a small percentage of our brain's ability. When purebloods are changed, their minds open up and that part of their brain is accessed which brings all of their extra talents to the forefront. The Cullen's have a mind reader, an empath and a psychic. You want to risk getting caught up with because your pride is hurt pretty boy?"

"You mean one of them can read minds?"

I sighed. I was done, I didn't want to say his name.

"Look, I'm not going to get into it now. I don't want to have to repeat myself. When your scooby friends are all here I'm sure it will be discussed more. Just don't make any decisions, especially not concerning where we are."

"Is this what Jacob meant when he said she couldn't see past him?" Damon mused.

"Yes. Now if you don't mind I've got to some arrangements to make before my whole collegiate experience tumbles down the drain. We'll talk more later. Where am I staying, Stefan?"

Damon opened his mouth, but I shook my head in exasperation.

"Follow me, I'll put you in the nicest room we have, the least we can do is make your stay comfortable."

"Oh goody," Damon laughed throwing his arm around my shoulders. "I hope you're still up for the sleep-overs."

I shrugged off his arm and moved to the entry way to pick up my bags. I struggled, and Damon took them from me without question, much the same way he had when I'd left my apartment.

"Who are you?" Stefan laughed, his eyes drinking in the scene in front of him. "Since when does Damon Salvatore carry someone's bags for them?"

Damon threw a bag at his brother and rolled his eyes. "Since I wanted answers, jack off."

"Sure."

"Fuck off, Stefan."

Stefan, clearly amused, continued smiling as he headed up the stairs with one of my bags, and Damon followed with the other. They led me to a huge room, the huge king sized bed sat in the middle of the room, the sun beating down on it while a net hung from the ceiling cradling it. There were dressers and a huge walk in closet, but my favorite part was the bathroom.

It was practically cavernous and probably the most modern thing in this old mansion. The huge garden tub looked more like a whirlpool spa and the shower was fitted with extra heads. I knew where I'd be spending most of my time.

"Right, out. I have stuff to do, and I'm sure we'll talk later."

"I'm in the room next door if you need me," Damon grinned, his eyebrows pumping suggestively.

Of course he was next door. When had my luck ever been positive? I shooed them both from my room and started to unpack.

Almost six hours later, I'd made more phone calls than I thought was necessary, but the stupid college had me go through so many channels it was ridiculous. There were processes in place for students to carry on from the internet when sickness or situation pulled them from campus, but it was a long arduous process and by the time I'd gained approval I was exhausted. I took a shower and decided to go in search of food, especially considering I actually hadn't eaten because of the interruption during breakfast that morning.

It seemed typical that fucking vampires forgot I needed sustenance and not blood to survive, hell if I'd learned anything over time it was that vampires were selfish creatures. There were the occasionally winners that tried to help, but other than that . . . nadda. All I had to do now was find the kitchen, maybe I would finally get lucky and find something good. I wandered through the house slowly in sweats and a tank top. I wasn't going to be putting on airs for these fuckers.

I finally found the kitchen and pulled open the refrigerator, finding bags of blood seemingly filling the thing up. It was disgusting, and blood made me woozy, so I slammed the door shut and almost jumped out of my skin. Damon had been stood behind the door, waiting to scare the shit out of me.

"What are you doing, Princess?"

"Looking for food, asshole. If you recall, you fucked up my breakfast plans."

"Well it would seem you're shit out of luck, we normally go out to eat," he laughed, unsheathing his fangs.

I rolled my eyes and pushed past him. I wasn't afraid of him, he'd understand that one day. There were things out there a lot scarier than a horny half vampire with fangs. They'd find that out eventually.

"So what are you going to feed me then? You realize I get topic amnesia when I'm hungry right?"

"Sure you do," he smirked, leaning against the counter. "But no worries, Stefan is a good little vampire with his human girl and remembers shit like that. Elena just arrived with some take-out."

My stomach growled at the mention of food and I went in search of sustinence. I made my way to what I assumed was the dining room and sighed in pure pleasure as the smell of burgers and fries seemed to wrap around me like a long lost friend. I didn't realize I was so hungry.

"Bella," Elena smiled. "I hope you don't mind, I didn't know what you liked so I got you a bacon Cheeseburger, I have a plain one too if you'd prefer that."

"Oh no way am I giving up the double meat," I grinned, grabbing the box from her with a smile. She wasn't bad as people went so I figured I'd play nice.

"My kind of girl," Damon added, picking up a box of his own.

"In your dreams, D."

"In reality, B. You'll see."

I rolled my eyes, but opened my box with reverence as my stomach practically reached out for it by itself. Caroline took a seat next to me and relaxed, picking at the pasta in front of her.

"Where are your friends?"

"Jake and Embry?"

"Yeah," she smiled blushing. "Embry's kinda cute."

"Just cute?" I snorted taking a bite. From the look she gave me I knew she was thinking a lot more than that.

And so, the meal moved along, everyone was pretty much sat in silence, none of them could get a word in with Caroline waxing the lyrical about Embry. It seemed she was smitten, shame she was a vamp though, Embry would no doubt have something to say about that.


Damon

All the talk about the overgrown puppies and their "hot bodies" as Caroline put it, was getting on my last nerve. I wasn't one for sharing the spotlight, but it bugged me to no end to listen to Bella go on and on about all the little adventures she had gone on with them. I had had enough.

"So, Bella, do you think you're about ready to answer some questions?" She chewed and swallowed her mouthful of food quickly.

"About that. I think that we should have some sort of understanding. I will answer some questions now and some after the Cullens are gone for good."

I regarded her carefully before speaking. "That was not part of the deal, princess. We agreed that if I hid you, then you would tell me everything I want to know."

"Yes, well, if you hadn't called Alice in the first place, we wouldn't be in this predicament, now would we? I would be living my life relatively vampire free."

"They would have found you eventually. Especially with having a seer and a mind reader. I just helped things along a little." I shrugged and watched as her face turned an unnatural shade of purple.

"Are you freaking kidding me? I told you, I have been careful! Didn't you listen to anything that I said?"

"Well, you do tend to talk a lot, princess. How is a poor boy like me supposed to keep up? There are other things about you that I choose to focus on." I blatantly stared at her chest to emphasize my point.

"You are such a pig, but we're getting off topic. Either you to agree to my terms or I walk. You're not exactly the most trustworthy guy and how do I know that you won't just hand me over to the Cullens anyway?"

Of course she was right. I had given her no reason to believe that I wouldn't do just that. The truth of the matter was that I had absolutely no intentions of handing her over to them. She was much too much fun to play with, and until I was done with her, I wasn't letting her out of my site. Very little truly amused me, and after so many years, you tend to cling to the things that do.

In all actuality, I decided, the bargain could work in my favor. All I needed to do was keep the threat of the Cullens alive until I was bored and ready to move on. Unknowingly, Bella had just cost herself much more time with me. I held in the smirk that was threatening to break free.

"She makes a good point, Damon. She doesn't know us, and it's not like you've given her a lot to work with in the gentleman department." Elena piped up and for the first time I could recall I wanted her to be somewhere else.

"Elena, you're just being a kiss-ass. We already have an arrangement. Your nose doesn't need to be shoved so far up her asshole." Bella giggled but covered it up with a cough. Elena looked hurt, but I couldn't bring myself to care because Bella's little giggle had gone straight to my dick. He was getting very impatient if a mere half-giggle set him off.

"Hey, she's just trying to help, Damon, Back off." Stefan, of course had come to Elena's aid. Pussy-whipped prick.

"Oh, you two always ruin my fun. I fully intended to agree to Princess Bella's terms. I just wanted to have a bit of fun first." My bottom lip stuck out in a fake pout, but turned into a shit-eating grin when I caught Bella staring at it. I couldn't get over what a contradiction she was. One minute she was cursing like a sailor home on leave and the next she was blushing like an innocent little girl. She could be unbearably shy one minute and verbally sparring with me the next. And she wasn't too bad with sexual innuendo either. I don't know how the perfect Edward resisted her; she was a tempting little thing.

"So, I guess we should get started. Is that all right with you, Bella?" Stefan asked, trying to sound soothing, but I could see Bella's jaw clenching. It seemed his uptight-ness bothered her. I guessed it had something to do with her fickle ex.

"I don't think so, brother. You gave up your question asking privileges after that last doozy. If we let you ask the questions the next one would probably be about her whirlwind romance with the dreamy Mr. Cullen." I battered my eyelashes dramatically for emphasis. And there was the giggle again. It seemed Bella enjoyed my wit. I gave her a smile and a wink in return.

"Well, someone better ask something. I'm not getting any younger here."

"All right. How do you kill a pureblood?" My blunt question caused Bella to swallow thickly. I could tell that it bothered her to give up the answer to that particular question, but after a moment's hesitation she did it anyway.

"They have to be ripped apart and burned. Um, every piece. I'm not quite sure why, it's not like they could grow back if you left out a pinky." She rolled her eyes, then continued. "Their venom is highly flammable, so if their venom is ignited it's only a matter of moments."

"Well, that's good to know." We all nodded, relieved that there was a way to defend ourselves.

"Oh, but fire won't bother them unless their venom is exposed and only another pureblood or one of the wolves has the capability to inflict that type of damage."

As quickly as our moods lifted, they deflated. There was a way to kill them, we just couldn't do it. Great.

"All right then… How does one become a pureblood?" I asked with a sigh.

"Well, they just bite you. They're venomous and as soon as the venom enters the bloodstream it begins to spread. It's very appropriate that their venom is flammable because once it enters your veins it feels like you are burning up from the inside out."

It was then that I remembered the bite on her wrist.

"But you were bitten and you're still human." I was confused, and from the looks on everyone's faces, they were as well.

"Eddie-boy sucked it out. I suppose the thought of an eternity with me was too awful. I should have gotten a clue then, huh?" She tried to smile but I could see that it still bothered her. She may not want him anymore, but the rejection always stings. I should know.

I decided to give her a break and help the conversation move along, but Caroline had other ideas.

"Wait. So, the asshole bit you only to suck the venom out? Is he a sadist?" Bella laughed bitterly.

"Well, that's debatable, but he wasn't the one to bite me. Okay, so I hate talking about it, so I'm giving the super short version. Three nomads came into town, caught my scent and when Edward went all possessive, the tracker, James, decided it was too good of a hunt to pass up. Alice and her hubby ran with me while Edward and the others stayed behind to track him and protect my Dad. James called, pretending he had my mom and I snuck out to meet him to save her life. He bit me, Edward and the Cullens intervened, and there you have it." Bella told the entire story in one breath.

"But what happened to the other two nomads?" Caroline was being unusually observant. "I doubt they would just let it go."

"One left to be with some friends of the Cullens, claiming to be tired of James' games, and the other… well, she's around."

"The 'red head' your friends were talking about?" I asked and she nodded.

"They just left you to fend for yourselves after exposing you to all that? They had to have known that they would come for you." I couldn't explain why I was so livid, but I had the urge to call up Alice Cullen and tell her what a piece of shit she was. No wonder Bella wanted as far away from the vampire world as possible.

"Yeah, well, I guess they though it would be fine."

"But don't they have a psychic and a mind reader? Wouldn't they know?" Caroline piped up.

"Alice can't see past the wolves, but Victoria – the redhead – was James' mate so you would think they would put two and two together." Bella shrugged, trying to seem apathetic about the whole thing.

"Well, that's fucked." Elena surprised us all with her colorful use of language.

"No, that's life, sweetheart. Get used to it." Bella's voice was dripping with disdain.

"And do the Cullens know all of this now?" I asked, still internally seething.

"Nope, and they never will. They'd hunt me down and kidnap me for sure. So you, Mr. Big Mouth, better not say a word." She pointed at me and I held my hands up in surrender.

"Now if you all don't mind I am going to head up and make good use of that ginormous bathtub!"

Without another word, Bella left the room and no one spoke until we heard a door clicking shut.

"How do we know that she's telling us the truth? I think we should take the information that she gives us with a grain of salt." Stefan's words pushed me over the edge, causing the lid I had kept on my anger about the Cullens dealings with Bella to pop right off.

"Did you just hear a fucking word of what that girl just said? She already has one pureblood after her, not to mention the very creatures that put her in danger then left her breathing down her neck. We kidnapped her and I tricked her into coming back and telling us what we want to know. Now you want to question whether or not she's being truthful?"

"Damon, he's just trying to look out for us. You…" But I cut her off.

"Elena, I understand that you feel the need to think that dear Stefan could do no wrong, but he can, and in this instance he is! And how two faced are you to be kissing her ass one minute and talking about her behind her back the next. This isn't high school right now Elena. Grow up."

She looked taken aback and there may have even been a few tears in her eyes, but I was on a roll and could have cared less. Caroline cocked her head and raised a perfectly sculpted eyebrow, but I ignored her.

"If you don't believe her then I see no reason for her to be here. I will keep up my end of the bargain to her, but we will do it elsewhere. You assholes can fend for yourselves."

Stefan snapped out of the apparent stupor I had put him in.

"No! There is no reason for you to take her anywhere. Plus, wouldn't Alice see that decision?" Fucker had a point there, but that's why God invented road trips. We could drive everywhere and nowhere, all we had to do was avoid looking at any signs or landmarks.

Shit, that's how Bella's been living? Damn. I had to agree with my internal voice on that one.

"Good try baby brother, but I'm not going to let you treat her that way. So decide now whether or not you believe her. If you don't I have some packing to do."

"Fine. I will trust your judgment and I won't say another word about it." I grinned like a fool at the fact that for once I had won an argument with my perfect brother. I left the room in much better spirits and ended up standing outside Bella's bathroom door. She had left her bedroom door open, but unfortunately for me the bathroom door was locked.

Smart girl.

I knocked and called her name. She responded with a "What do you want, Damon?"

"How did you know it was me?"

"Who else would bother me while I'm trying to relax in the tub? Only you, while hoping to catch a peek of me naked. Perv." I laughed because I could practically hear the smile in her voice.

"Yes, well, I was just going to offer my services as a back washer. Maybe even throw in a little massage."

Bella was completely silent for a good 30 seconds on the other side of the door.

"Go fuck yourself, Damon." She finally managed to get out. I was wearing her down.

"I'd rather fuck you, princess." There was a loud thunk on the door from her throwing something at it.

I chuckled all the way to my room.


Sabi'sSookie: Well, Damon is getting quite protective of Bella, isn't he? I think that he wants her for more than her body. What do you guys think? Speaking of you guys, your reviews are awesome! Thanks for every single one, as well as alerting and favoriting! Hell, thanks for just reading and giving our story a chance. Many of you have stated that you love it despite hating crossovers, so it means a lot!

Nostalgicmiss, I could sing your praises all day… on your writing and on being the best friend a girl could ask for! One of these days we'll be in WA in rocking chairs on our front porch! I can't wait! Love ya!

Nostalgicmiss: Oh you gotta love Damon and his ever present hedonism at pissing off his brother and Bella! Still, it seems he has Bella's back, even if he does still like toying with her and has a plan to bed the damsel.

I really do want to say a huge thank you to all of you for reviewing and letting us know what you think. As Sabi said it's huge that a lot of you like even while not enjoying most crossovers. We really weren't sure how this was going to be received and I just want to say a huge thank you for giving it a chance and letting us know what you think! You're all awesome, so thank you again!

Sabi, the same goes to you chick, you know I love your writing and our linked in brains, you're a dream to write with and an amazing best friend that I would be clueless without. Looking forward to the wine and rocking chairs hun :) Love ya!