Gwen was recovering, and back on campus to catch the last lectures before the holidays, even though they were decidedly more relaxed than usual. Today, it was Merlin's turn to have to stop and choose the right words in the middle of their conversation. This was in the morning, as they were both in the habit of being obnoxiously early, and he figured it was best to mention the change in his and Arthur's relationship before it came to her through some dubious other channel.

"Right. So there's something I haven't told you."

She looked slightly confused.

"Should I be worried?"

"No, no, nothing like that. It's not a big thing. What am I saying? It's a massive thing. A massive thing that just happens not to have come up in conversation."

"Well, what is it?"

"You know how you have a boyfriend now?"

"Yes?"

"Well," and here he could no longer hold back his grin, "So do I."

"What?"

"I know."

"Why didn't you tell me? I didn't even know you liked someone!"

"Like I said, it didn't come up."

"Well, that's - What - Who?"

"Ah." That was the part he was unsure about how to approach.

"This is either going to be glaringly, pathetically obvious, or it's going to sound absolutely batshit random and surprising."

"Well, it's clearly not obvious," she pointed out, but then a thought seemed to strike her, "Is it Gwaine?"

"What? No!" said Merlin, "It's Arthur."

"Arhur?" Now it was Gwen's turn to look perplexed. She stood for a moment just looking at him. Her mouth twitched several times as if she were about to speak, but she was evidently still trying to wrap her head around what he had just said.

"Yeah," she said eventually, "That is.. Surprising. I… I didn't think he was gay," she finally said.

"Well, neither did I. And obviously not exclusively, I think he - Wait, did you think I was gay?"

"No… I don't know, I never really thought about it."

"But you're less surprised about me than about Arthur."

"Well, yes, because Arthur - I mean, he…" she paused for a moment. "Actually, maybe that explains a few things. About why he gave me such mixed signals and everything."

"Maybe." Merlin sighed. "There was a time when I thought I knew how to read Arthur. Now I know pretty much for certain that I've no idea what's going on inside his head most of the time. But maybe I'm not supposed to."

"And the reason why you didn't tell me, of course, was because he and I had… Not exactly history, but I used to think we had potential."

"I think you did, to be honest. You should have seen the - !"

At this point he was interrupted as somebody had snuck up behind him and lifted him up in the air, shaking him.

"Congratulations!" Gwaine's voice boomed.

"Eh! Thanks," Merlin said, slightly embarrassed, "Would you mind putting me down?"

His plea was heeded, and as he put him down, Gwaine added, "Finally!"

"Yeah, so, to him it was obvious," Merlin concluded to Gwen, who was stood there laughing.

"Evidently," she agreed.

"Obvious?" Gwaine seemed shocked. "Of course it was obvious! You mean to say that you never caught on to Merlin's desperate obsession with Arthur?"

"Desperate obsession," Merlin scoffed. That sounded so pathetic. Perhaps it was, in a way, but he had not let on that badly. "Whether or not I had an obsession with Arthur, I now have an Arthur, so I think that's pretty good going."

He had asked Arthur again about Gwen, now that he had this new and very welcome perspective on the situation. For once, Arthur didn't get annoyed or deliberately vague. Perhaps that was because he was lying relaxed on the sofa, leaning comfortably against Merlin, who was playing with his hair.

"I did like her quite a lot.," he explained, "And perhaps even more so because I liked you… I dunno how that works, exactly. It was a bit confusing. And so I hesitated and messed up and she ended up with Lance, which kind of sucked."

He straightened up a bit and ran his fingers along the edge of Merlin's face with a smile, "That is, until you asked me to dance, and I thought fuck it. Mad or stupid or mistake or whatever. You were all I saw the rest of that night. Well, you and the bartender. Needed to get the booze from somewhere."

Merlin laughed softly. Arthur looked strangely pensive, staring at Merlin as if he were trying to figure out how he was put together.

"It's almost a bit creepy, really," he mumbled, "How easy it is to let everything else disappear when I'm with you."

When Merlin left Camelot to go home for the holidays, he felt good about it - it would be nice to go back to his mother for a while, to make sure she was okay and to grieve together over the grim revelation from a few weeks back. And it was nice to feel that he would be looking forward to getting back, he had someone to miss and someone who would be missing him. His reunion with Hunith was tearful but also full of smiles, and she was very glad to hear his good news. She asked after his health, and that of Gaius, who Merlin still occasionally visited, although he hadn't really dropped by him much lately. Around Christmas Eve, a thick envelope arrived from a woman Hunith had been corresponding with in Bosnia, in Balinor's hometown. Inside were some pictures she had found with him in them - gathered from people who knew their family before they were wiped out. Hunith choked up almost immediately upon seeing them. All those years ago, a short time after she found out she was pregnant, she had had a breakdown resulting in her throwing out all the photos she had of herself and her child's father, something she had regretted the moment it was too late, and then every day since. For Merlin, the experience was strange - seeing the face of a man he had never known, but who should be familiar. He could see the resemblance - he had the same dark hair, and there was something in Balinor's facial structure that he recognised from his own reflection. They cried on each other's shoulders, but agreed that it was a nice Christmas gift to receive. Merlin took one of the smaller pictures, which showed Balinor and a woman in a shawl who looked to be his mother, and put it in his wallet.

Ealdor was nice and quiet compared to the hustle of Camelot. Mother and son had a calm Christmas together as always. One source of entertainment that was new, though, was the frequent text messages Merlin received from Arthur. Apparently, the Pendragon Christmas celebrations were rather different.

"BLARGH."

"Do you know what the HELL these are? I won't even tell you what I think it looks like."

This message was accompanied by a picture which Arthur, if his clothes hadn't so often "accidentally" found their way into other people's - mainly Merlin's - laundry bins, might have recognised as a set of plastic rings to keep socks from separating in the washing machine. Merlin wondered who on Earth would think he'd appreciate that gift.

"I do NOT like the suggestive way my uncle's looking at Morgana. He's on my mother's side, so they're not technically related, but he's twice her age and it's CREEPY."

"No-one has said a word for an hour and a half. I wonder what would happen if I just stood up and yelled "I'M GAY!"?"

"NO I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT jeez. I'm bored, not suicidal"

"Big jet set Christmas party with the rich and famous. Bet you wish you hadn't left me alone now!"

"Lord have mercy. The whiny whoop-dee-doo lady is at this party. Kill me."

This made Merlin snigger. The "whiny whoop-dee-doo lady" was a singer whose song was quite frequently played on Camelot radio stations. Arthur harboured a strong dislike for it, and frequently pointed that out.

"I think whoop-dee-doo lady fancies me."

"MERLIN."

"Life lesson learned: Don't go to parties with whiny whoop-dee-doo ladies."

"No, seriously. There's now a picture of her circulating which has me in it."

"YES god damn it it IS EMBARRASSING. Erk."

"Thankgodtheydon'tknowmynameifyoubreatheaword ofthistoanyoneIwillkillyou"

"Oh, and by the way"

"I miss you."