Wow...I got 50 reviews and I only needed 45...unless I miscounted...oh well, I got 50 reviews ::throws confetti:: mmkay...in this and future chapters, there will be a lot of...songs...cuz I love songs...and review please! I'll cry if you don't..



Oh yeah, // = song lyrics



















*The weeks came and went, but Paige seemed to drift further away from Jeff, she wouldn't let him touch her, and avoided him at all costs, but Paige was still the old Paige towards everyone else, the flame haired spitfire everyone had come to know and love, but something deep inside of her was different, something no one could quite explain, something that no one knew about, only her..*







It was Raw, Matt and Jeff were going to win the tag titles once more, Lita and Phoenix were standing outside the ring as Jeff perched up top and Matt executed a Twist of Fate, then Jeff did a Swanton bomb before covering and winning the match, Matt grabbed the belts and handed one to Jeff, who kissed it just as Lita and Phoenix slid into the ring, turning to their respective boyfriends and giving them a kiss, but Paige seemed rather hesitant as Jeff put his arm around her and lead the four up the ramp before they stopped, did the gunz, and walked backstage, Jeff's arm still around Paige, but once behind the curtain, Paige slipped from his grip, and walked nervously to stand beside Amy, "I'm going to get something to drink, anyone else want?" she sighed, shifting her weight uncomfortably, "Yeah" Amy said, Paige walked off down the hall, and Jeff turned to Amy, "Aimes, what's wrong with her?" he asked quietly, "I don't know" Amy shook her head sadly, "Something is though, maybe it'll just take time", "Amy, I've given her time, the fire about her I've loved for our whole lives, it's gone, you said it would come back, I've waited for almost a year, I don't know how much longer I can hold onto the hope that time will bring Paige back, healing time is over, time to move on with our lives" Jeff sighed, "Jeff, just, she needs more time or something, I don't know" Amy said, defeated, they rounded the corner, and ran right into Paige, she sniffed once, twice, blinked, "So you can't hang on any longer, huh?" she said, her words stung Jeff, then her eyes began to tear and she turned to sprint off down the hall, "Paige wait!" Jeff called, hurrying to catch up to Paige as she ran down the hallway, turning into the locker room, slamming the door, then throwing herself onto the couch and sobbing, Jeff walked in a few seconds later, apprehensively sitting beside her on the narrow couch, "Paige, babe, talk to me" he asked, brushing a strand of bright red hair out of her teary eyes, "Jeff, I'm so sorry, I...I never meant to hurt you so much, it's all my fault" Paige whispered, sniffing back a curtain of tears, "What are you talking about?" Jeff asked, searching for her eyes in the tangled mass of red, orange, and gold hair, "I know how much you wanted that baby Jeff, and I lost it" she looked up as a fresh batch of tears rolled down, "Babe, it isn't your fault, it's no ones fault, it was an accident, I still love you more than ever, I, I just want you back" Jeff said, sincerely touching Paige's cheek, she quickly stood up, avoiding his warm touch, "There are no accidents in death, a child, my child, our child, died, and you may still love me, and I still love you, but I can't stand to touch you, every time I do I feel this heart wrenching guilt that I can't explain" Paige said, pacing around the room in circles, she turned her head to Jeff, who was sitting on the couch, a look of hurt and shock struck on his face, "What are you saying?" Jeff asked, bringing his eyes from his feet to meet with Paige's eyes, "Jeff, what I'm saying is that I love you with all my heart, you're my best friend, but every time I look at you all I can feel is guilt and pain for what I've put you through, so I think that we need some time apart" Paige turned once again to face Jeff, tears evidently going to fall in both of their eyes, Jeff nodded, choking back the tears, "Anything, can we still be friends though?" Jeff asked, standing and taking Paige's hands in his, "Forever" Paige said, smiling only a little bit as Jeff leaned in for one final kiss, "I love you Paige, always remember that" he said before letting go of Paige's hands and walking out the door, Paige listened to his footsteps going down the hall until they faded and the door shut with a thud before she sat back down on the couch and began to sob, "What did I do?" Paige asked out loud, looking up towards the ceiling then lowering her head into her hands,*it's going to be so awkward for us to still be in an on screen relationship, still having to kiss and act romantic towards each other*, Paige sighed at the new thoughts and went to clean herself up, it was going to be a long night..

*At the Hotel*

Matt and Paige sat in the hotel room, Paige in the chair beside the glass door, watching the rain as it pelted down, Matt sat on the bed, watching TV, Paige's eyes were red and puffy, and every now and then a new wave of emotion would overtake her and she would begin to sob again, the rain that poured down from the dark sky seemed to just darken her already sad mood, the tears began to once again flow as she remembered a song..

//I don't know what's happening to me

I can't remember things I used to believe

I caught myself just the other day

stealing color from words and leaving them gray//

What had happened? She used to be so outgoing and just a very fun person, but lately she couldn't do anything, her phrases like "Live for the moment" meant nothing anymore, she had forgotten how to be happy, she knew it, *What's going on!* her mind screamed, *Where did you go?* she asked herself, something had to be done, she had to get out, Paige suddenly jumped from her chair, and without a thought, she burst out of the door and ran barefoot through the cold rainy night, "Paige?!" Matt yelled, jumping to his feet and grabbing his jacket, then following her outside..



//Yeah, I've fallen down a time or two

but no one was looking so I'm not telling you//

*I've had my share of screw ups, more than most people knew, and they didn't need to know, Jeff knew some of these, the rape, that's one thing I don't want anyone else to know, that was a big screw up, but this one was above it all, I just don't want anyone else to know that I can't control myself anymore*, these thoughts were racing through her head as she listened to the rhythmic thud of her feet against the wet pavement..

//I've got to make it better, make it all right

got to find me a ladder to reach the light

got to move to the exit, single file line

before the fire spreads to my head and burns my mind//

*Something has to be done, I can't go on like this, I have to find myself again, ha, 4 years ago I thought only crazy people needed to "find their selves", but if I didn't know any better, I would say I'm well on my way to going crazy*, Paige payed no attention to the fact that Matt was on her heels and gaining fast, or the fact she was soaked and beginning to shake involuntarily

//It's been real but it's time to go home

time to change back to the clothes that I own

I could use some heavier shoes

to ground me in feelings I don't want to lose//

*It's high time I get back to my old self, the old Paige, the one I was before all this happened, I don't recognize myself anymore, I just want to get back to my old skin, but the real Paige is lost in a whirlwind of emotions, and all I want is to get down, to get back to my old self, to stay put in the feelings I had before, to be like I was before all this happened*, Paige's tears mixed with the rainwater that fell across her face, a searing pain shot up through her legs and the rest of her body, she couldn't run anymore, so she collapsed to the ground, sobbing and staring up at the rain pouring down from the sky, Matt ran up beside her, his soaked raven hair hanging limp beside his head, he stuck out his hand to help her up, Paige took his hand and allowed him to lift her to her feet, "Paige, what's wrong, tell me" Matt said, wrapping his arms around her and looking into her watery blue eyes, "I want to be the old me, but I don't remember how" she sobbed, Matt pulled her close and allowed her to sob into his dry shirt, when she finally calmed down, Matt pulled her away, "Just think Paige, you know, in your heart, you know, and I'll help you too, so will Amy I'm sure" Matt said, then kissed the top of her head, "Let's go inside, you're soaked" he said, taking off his jacket and wrapping it around her shoulders, then putting his arm around her and leading her back towards the hotel..

//And all this time, I never knew

that it ever meant anything to you//



I love that song, it's called Make It Better by Evan and Jaron, so..5 more reviews, k? Reviews make me really really happy in all the chaos...I'm thinking about a sequal to this...because I've been writing this for so long, it'll feel weird not writing about Paige and Jeff every afternoon..so, what do you think? Tell me nowwwww! If you review....Paige might let you pet her devil kitty, Kaos...