Whatever.
By
Rix Baez
China Doll –
No, he left me because he didn't find out until after I had Rex, and by then he had a new girlfriend. When they broke up we dated for awhile and he went to college, so I haven't seen him for a while, so now its kind of a long distance relationship, but he is a great father figure to Rex and will be a great one to Nero if we stay together.
After I got raped, I felt worthless like anyone who wanted me could just have it, I slept around for a while. I took drugs around the end of my pregnancy, I took a lot of stuff, I smoked, weed, sniffed cocaine, and I tried to kill myself numerous times, slitting my wrists, I tried to jump out of my mother's third floor window after I had the baby but she started screaming crying so I went back inside, I overdosed on Zoloft trying to get the voices, mainly Jared's voice out of my head. I was depressed and I still have trouble trusting men, I barely do.
My mom kicked me out because she said she wouldn't always be there to take care of me and that I have to pull my life together. She also said she can't deal with me coming home from work at 1 am, to wake up and see me past out on the couch. She doesn't believe that I'm working over time, she thinks that I am prostituting since I had slept around when I felt worthless. He wants me to move out to Fresno, where he is going to school, but I don't think I will.
Chapter 11 : Finding People Aren't Who You Think & Making Choices That Aren't At All Good
Rin ran to the bathroom, and then just remembered how even in a bathroom, a room that had locks and stalls. That even in there she couldn't manage to escape him. Rin sat in a bathroom stall sat on the toilet and cried. Then the creaking for the door opening filled Rin's ears, Kikyou had walked in. Kikyou was the school loner, she and Rin weren't so different. Kikyou was beautiful with long jet black hair, and deep brown eyes, her facial features were perfect, full lips and a long nose, with wide almond eyes encased with full thick long lashes.
Rin ceased her crying hoping Kikyou wouldn't hear, fearing that she to would be someone to judge her. Kikyou had went out with Naraku, she left him because he was abusive a beat her up a couple times, but he dared not touch her, her father was after all the sheriff of the town. Rin wiped her face with the toilet paper and came out of the stall. Kikyou looked at her through her long bangs, her face held no emotion. Rin looked at her the sorrow flooded her eyes again and suddenly something she would never expect happened. Kikyou walked forward and hugged her warmly. Her embrace was comforting and it felt safe. Rin cried on Kikyou's black guns 'n roses shirt. "Shhh…Rin…It'll be okay……I'll help you…I don't care what anyone says, I know you're not a whore…and I know you're a great person" Kikyou said holding Rin smoothing her hair with her.
Rin pulled away "Thank you, Kikyou, you really don't know how much that means to me" Rin said wiping tears from her face. At lunch Rin looked around to see the dirty looks on all the girls' faces, the only one who didn't look was Kikyou. Rin walked over to the table that only held Kikyou. When Rin sit down, Kikyou looked up with a slight smile on her face. Kikyou was a great person; it was hard to believe she didn't have many friends. "Kikyou, why do you put up with Inuyasha?" Rin asked softly. Kikyou was wearing black pants with converse. Kikyou played with the mush that was school lunch "Well, I can tell that your sister is interested but I think I may be in love with him, he is nothing like anyone I've ever met, he makes me forget about how I hate Naraku" she said "Kikyou…you're right Inuyasha is a great person and you deserve someone who can treat you like you deserve to be treated" Rin said. Rin and Kikyou talked and they got to know each other and soon were nearly like sisters themselves.
2 months later
(Pregnancy 7 Months)
Rin sat down with Kikyou out side the café. Kikyou's father came to pick her up, and smiled calling her, they lived at the end of town, they lived up town, where a lot of rich people lived. Rin sat down, on the ledge, and passing by was Lucas. He looked at her with a smile and asked her to walk with him, she accepted. "Hey, ummm…don't think I'm crazy but have you ever smoked weed?" Lucas asked her. Rin shook her head, she had never had smoked in her life, and the thought scared and yet intrigued her at the same time. "Wanna try it" he said taking out one he had obviously pre rolled and lit it then gave it to her. After awhile Rin didn't have a care in the world, she forgot about Naraku, she felt good and that was something she hadn't in a long time.
Lucas kissed Rin's soft pink lips and Rin kissed back, they got as close as they could with Rin's protruding stomach in the way, Lucas asked her if she wanted another blunt. Rin took it. He handed her a bottle covered in a paper bag, she took it and took a swig feeling an intensely warm liquid turn to fire as it went down her throat even at the unpleasant taste Rin kept drinking it. Before long Rin was drunk talking about non sense, Rin kissed Lucas deeply he kissed back with passion. When Rin woke up the next morning she was in an unfamiliar place, an apartment. She ran to the bathroom to puke, Lucas was sleeping in the bed. Rin looked in the mirror holding her hand to her neck where there was a bright red hickey. Rin gasped and put her clothes on walked into the living room where she saw about twenty blunts she grabbed them and shoved them in her pockets, and walked out the front door.
Rin walked into the café, Lea strode up to her "Rin where have you been?" she asked "I was no where" Rin said going to the back of the shop to put on her Lea followed her seeing the numerous hickeys on her neck and a little lower. "Rin where have you been?" she asked again "I told you already" Rin answered. They had worked till it was time to close shop and Lea had to go do some things. Rin ran upstairs to her room and took out one of the blunts. After that night she did it for weeks.
Then there had been that unlucky night when Lea walked in on her smoking the weed. "Rin what are you doing?" Lea looked around seeing empty liquor bottles and smelling the stench of weed. Rin stood struggling to look sober and not high and walked over to Lea "It's not what it looks like, Lea." Rin slurred the alcohol smell flowing out of her mouth. Lea looked down at the floor. "Whatever" Lea said walking out.
The next morning Rin left for school and on the walk home she was pulled into an alley way by Lucas. "Rin, what did you think you were doing stealing from me. You're gonna have to pay me back for that weed you took. And if you don't have the money you're gonna have to do some things for me" he said a coldness she had never heard in his voice. Rin looked up regretting ever meeting him. "I'll get the money…" Rin said fearfully. "No you're gonna have it in a week, I want 700 dollars you got that" he said "Its not worth that much, and I can't have it in a week" Rin said. "Well You'll be getting a rather unpleasant surprise then" he said holding a switch blade to her neck. He kissed her lightly, smirked and walked away.
