A/N: Ok, so I wasn't going to post this. I really think that the story can stand alone as it was and that this kind of went into a different tone and may be detracts from the story. However, a friend convinced me that I really needed to post this, the reasons for this are in the author's note at the end of the chapter.

Please note: This does deal with a subject that is extremely uncomfortable and embarrassing for victims of rape. In some ways, it's worse than the violence of the act itself. You have been warned.

Chapter 10:

Three years later – Tuscany, Italy

"That's not how you set up the jack." Caroline snapped.

"Yes, it is. The car is off the ground isn't it?" Klaus snapped back.

"It's not in the right position; putting it there, it can roll off once you start taking off the lug nuts."

"Caroline, I assure you I have changed plenty of tires and I've never had a problem with the cars rolling off the jack." He told her frustrated.

"I'm telling you it's in the wrong spot." She insisted.

He stood up. "Do you want to change the bloody tire?" He yelled.

"I could do a better job." She yelled back.

"Ok, everybody just calm down." Stefan stepped up.

"There is no need to get this worked up over a tire." Rebekah added in.

It was supposed to be a nice relaxing ride through the countryside, but like almost everything else lately, it had just ended in a screaming match.

"I wouldn't be worked up, if someone would just do it right." Caroline wouldn't let it go.

Klaus through the tire iron down. "Tell me, is there anything I can do right?" He snapped. "You've been bitching about my driving, bitching about my feeding habits, bitching about my clothes even."

"You were driving too fast, you fed off that tourist and left him where anyone could see and it was supposed to be a nice dinner and you wore jeans!" Caroline yelled.

"All right, that its!" Rebekah interrupted. She grabbed Caroline by the arm and started pulling her away from the car, down the street.

"I wasn't driving too fast, I had to drop the tourist there because you were yelling at me so loud there were people on the way and those jeans cost more money than most Italian suits!" Klaus yelled after them.

Before Caroline could yell anything back, Rebekah turned her around and kept marching her forward away from the two men. Finally Caroline gave in and marched along side of her. They heard the sound of breaking glass. Caroline stopped and yelled back. "That's real mature. We won't get our deposit back now!" Rebekah again grabbed her and pulled her along. After a while, they came to a well worn path on the side of the road and Rebekah went down it, knowing Caroline would follow.

"Your brother can be such an ass!" Caroline swore. Rebekah looked at her out of the corner of her eyes.

They had left Mystic Falls at the end of the Summer, a year after Caroline's kidnapping. She had healed enough that she was no longer afraid to leave the house on her own,(although Rebekah was certain she knew Klaus had someone watching her at all times), but she didn't feel comfortable there anymore. She had changed too much and the town had too many ghosts in it for her.

Since then they had been traveling the world, the four of them. Quite honestly, it was the best years of Rebekah's existence. She and Stefan had gotten married a year ago and she viewed Caroline as a sister. Rebekah's relationship with Klaus had also become very close and she loved spending time with all of them. It was also nice to see the world through Caroline's eyes.

Not that there hadn't been hard times. Caroline was still prone to long periods of silence and introspection, that had to led to weeks of depression, they worked hard to bring her out of. There were also times where she had panic attacks or burst into tears for no reason that she could explain or understand.

However, there had also been great strides in her recovery. Rebekah remembered the first time they had seen the return of Caroline's smile, the bright one that lit up her entire face and made her eyes glow. It had been the Winter after they left, they had been in Sweden, in Jukkasjärvi, at the Ice Hotel. They had walked in and were surrounded by sculpted ice, glowing with different colored lights. Caroline had been in awe, completely overwhelmed by the beauty of it. She kept turning in circles to take it all in and she didn't even seem aware as her eyes lit up and a huge smile spread across her face. Rebekah and Stefan had watched in silence and then Rebekah had noticed the look of pure joy spread on her brother's face. He looked as if he just saw a unicorn.

The first time Caroline laughed again, a delighted sound that made her whole body shake; they had been scuba diving in Belize and had a dolphin take a shine to Caroline. It started swimming around her wanting to play, the two had started a game of tag, which ended in the dolphin spitting a stream of water in her face. For an instant Caroline looked shocked and then she giggled, the giggle became laughter. She laughed so hard she almost swallowed some ocean water and Klaus had swam up behind her to grab her around the waist and keep her above while she continued the water battle with the dolphin.

Unfortunately, she was neither laughing nor smiling right now.

"Caroline, sit down. We need to talk." Rebekah said sadly. Caroline looked at her, but came and sat down next to her under one of the trees along the path. For a while, Rebekah didn't say anything, they just sat and admired the Italian countryside and listened to the birds quietly singing in the trees.

"Caroline, what's going on?" Rebekah finally asked.

"What do you mean?" She snapped. "Your brother is an asshole."

"This has been going on for weeks. You are always mad at him and the two of you are always fighting. It's getting to be constant."

Caroline glared at her and turned her head away. "So you are saying this all my fault!"

Rebekah sighed. She decided to try a different approach. "What is the relationship between the two of you?" Rebekah all but demanded.

That took her by surprise. "Relationship?" Caroline turned back, her face was beet red. "What do you mean? We're friends, you know that." She sounded very defensive.

"Friends? Right." Rebekah all but scoffed at her. "Friends who spend every moment together, who can finish each other's sentences, who hold hands and snuggle on the couch, who sleep together every night…" She looked at her sharply. "What are your feelings for my brother?" She asked. "Do you love him?"

"I…uh…I…." Caroline faltered. "I mean, he's always there for me, he makes me feel safe, he's constant, I know he loves me."

"Is that all it is?" Rebekah prodded her.

Caroline suddenly got very nervous. "Rebekah, you know I can't. I just…can't. We're friends, nothing more. We've discussed it. He knows that I can't and he understands."

"You've never even kissed, have you?" Caroline got even more uncomfortable.

"I just can't." She insisted. Rebekah sighed.

Caroline looked away. "

"Caroline, are you sure that these fights the two of you keep having aren't just sexual tension?" She finally just asked straight out.

"Drop it." Caroline snapped. "How many times do I have to tell you? I can't."

Rebekah narrowed her eyes at her. "So you aren't having desirous thoughts about my brother?" God, she didn't want to be having this conversation.

Caroline looked away. "Why won't you let this go?" Suddenly there were tears in her eyes. Rebekah wrapped an arm around her.

"Caroline, its ok." She told her.

"No, its not, dammit." Caroline insisted. "I'm tired of being a basket case." She wiped at her face angrily. "Ok, fine. There may have been some dreams or some thoughts lately." She admitted.

"That's ok." Rebekah assured her.

"NO! Its not." Caroline told her. She stood up and took a few steps away. "I just can't Rebekah." She took several deep breaths. "There's something I never told you. Its bad. I don't like to think about it or remember it."

Rebekah looked at her expectantly. "Caroline, whatever it is, you can tell me. You know I'm not going to judge you."

Caroline didn't say anything, just stared off into the distance. When she did start to talk it was so soft Rebekah struggled to hear even with her superior hearing. "When I was kidnapped, there were times when they were raping me that I had a….reaction." Caroline admitted softly.

"A reaction?" Rebekah was confused.

"Yes, a…." Caroline gestured because there was no way she could ever admit it out loud. Suddenly, it hit Rebekah what she was saying and her eyes widened.

"You had an orgasm?"

"Yes." Caroline cut her off. "I didn't want to and it was awful, but it happened." She started crying in earnest. "That's why I can't… I can't... I can't ever have sex again. I can't even stand the thought of it. All I feel is such shame whenever it comes up. It's like the two are linked in my head now. I hate myself. I'm so disgusted with myself." She sobbed.

Rebekah stood up and walked over to her. She stood right in her line of sight and forced her to meet her eyes. "Caroline, that wasn't because of anything to do with you. It was just your bodies way of trying to escape some of the pain, plus it was a just a biological reaction. It does happen."

"How can something like that just happen?" Caroline turned demanded. "How could my body betray me like that?"

"Look, I read a lot after this happened to you and the best way I read to explain it is like tickling."

"Tickling?" Caroline let out a harsh laugh through her tears. "WHAT?"

"Some people hate to be tickled right. They absolutely hate it, but still, when they are tickled, they laugh despite the fact that they hate it. The body has certain automatic responses to certain physical stimuli. We laugh when we are tickled. It doesn't mean it is a nice experience, or that laughing indicates wanting it. It's just a thing the body does."

She sighed. "That makes sense." She said sadly. "But it doesn't take away the feelings of shame I have. I know I'm being a bitch to Klaus. I know that I'm getting mad at him about things that never bothered me before, but it's like my only protection from feeling all that shame. It's my way of keeping my distance. I'm so confused."

"I'm your friend and I love you and I'm here for you, but this is something only you can figure out."

"I know and I'm trying, but it seems like it's getting worse."

"It is." Rebekah told her. "I know how much my brother means to you, whether you are in love with him or not, and we all know how much you mean to him, but at this point, your relationship is getting toxic. You're hurting him." She told her seriously. "I know you don't want to and I know you don't mean to, but you are hurting him"

"I've been thinking about stepping back, maybe getting my own room, not spending so much time together."

Rebekah looked at her doubtfully. "Unfortunately, the two of you are so close and dependent upon each other, I don't think you could just step back now, if you tried."

"What are you saying Rebekah?" Caroline asked alarmed.

"I'm saying you need to find a way to come to terms with this." Rebekah said again.

"Or I should leave." Caroline finished her thought. Leave Klaus. Her brain didn't seem to want to process the thought.

"You don't have to leave." Rebekah reminded her. "You can find a way to come to terms with this, if anyone can, you can." She tried to be upbeat. "You need to figure out your feelings for him." Rebekah sighed. "If it is just a codependency, then maybe you need to take a few steps back." She told her hesitantly. Rebekah really believed that Caroline loved her brother, but she didn't think the other girl realized it because of all the other feelings that were confusing the issue. "If you do love him, then try to forgive yourself, understand that what happened wasn't your fault. It didn't make it any less rape. And you may find that your memories of this have clouded everything so much, that if you allowed yourself to feel desire again, it may not be anything similar to this experience."

"Rebekah, I can't. I just can't do that. I can't let myself go. You just don't understand."

Rebekah stared off. She didn't understand, no one could, except someone who went through something like what Caroline had. Rebekah wanted to believe that true love could conquer all, but this was the real world and sometimes violence won over love.

To be fair, despite her determination to overcome what had happened, Caroline had stated almost from the beginning, as soon as she was able, that she would never again be able to have a physical relationship.

"Well, maybe you can find another way to deal with the feelings you are having." Rebekah suggested, but she knew that wouldn't be possible either. "Take a few days to think about it."

"Yeah." Caroline agreed distantly. Rebekah knew the girl had already made up her mind though. It looked like the best years were going to be behind her soon.

~.~

The girls walked down the hill and Klaus grabbed the tire iron and threw it against the driver's side window, smashing it to pieces. Stefan sighed.

From down the hill they heard Caroline's voice yell back. "That's real mature. We won't get our deposit back now!"

Klaus' anger drained away and he slumped against the car. "I just can't win." He muttered.

"You know this isn't your fault, right?" Stefan asked him. Klaus just shrugged. "She's been attacking you for weeks now."

Klaus sighed. "I know. At first I refused to fight back with her, but then she accused me of treating her differently because she was weak and a victim. So I started fighting back, but that didn't seem to help either."

"We've seen." Stefan commented dryly. "Any idea what's behind it?" He asked.

"Maybe she's finally starting to blame me as she should." Klaus said.

"I don't think that's it." Stefan looked at him for a minute. "Maybe you two need to take a break from each other for a while. Maybe you are just too close and getting under each other's skin."

"You want me to leave her?" Klaus asked incredulously. "No. Never."

Now it was Stefan's turn to sigh. "Look, I know you don't want to leave her side, but if this keeps going, you may wind up hating each other."

"I could never hate her and if she decides she hates me, it's only because I probably deserve it."

"That's what I'm talking about." Stefan insisted. "Thinking like that isn't healthy. You have done so much for her, given up so much for her, but at some point you need to think about yourself."

"I do!" Klaus snapped.

"Really?" Stefan asked. "I love Caroline and I do hate what happened to her, but that doesn't change the fact that she's being a bitch to you. There may be reasons behind it and there may be some cause, but she's still being a bitch and unless she wants to tell you what those reasons are, she's wrong for treating you like this and you need to realize it."

"And what is it you propose I do?" Klaus asked. "I'm fighting her back."

"Yeah, because she wants you to." Stefan stated. "Tell her she's being a bitch and walk away. Leave the house, go out, get away from it." He looked at him. "What is happening here is the classic definition of a codependent relationship. You are making this relationship more important to you than you are to yourself,"

"That's not true." Klaus said defensively.

"That's not what it looks like." Stefan had been right when he had said that when Klaus finally admitted he loved someone and let them into his heart, he did it with everything he had. Stefan knew the hybrid would do anything, give anything for Caroline. Unfortunately, in doing that he was enabling this new behavior she had developed. "Klaus, you know Caroline, this isn't her and by playing into it you may be doing her more harm than good." Stefan studied him. "You also need to be willing to walk away. For her benefit and for your own. Sometimes the willingness to leave will set thing straight. You can be in love with someone and still take care of yourself." Stefan finished.

Klaus stared off into the distance. He didn't respond to Stefan for a long time.

By the time the girls came back everyone was extremely subdued. There was a new rental car waiting for them and they all headed back to the villa they were staying in, not a word was said the entire way back.

~.~

The next morning, after a night of very little sleep, Caroline got up and went for a walk around the country side trying to do some thinking. The problem was that everything in her brain was so jumbled. She knew she cared about Klaus, but she couldn't be certain that her feelings went beyond friendship and gratitude. Add in to that her new feelings and her reactive, bitchy moods, Rebekah was right, this was getting toxic. She didn't want to hurt him, not after everything he had done for her. At this point, she was taking advantage of his feelings for her and making him a punching bag when he didn't understand or deserve it.

She realized that she had no other choice, but to leave. She couldn't stay here knowing she was hurting him, not for her own comfort. Decision made she headed slowly back to the villa with fear and dread inside of her.

When she got back she noticed immediately that the car was gone. She went inside and found Klaus reading on the sofa. She looked at him questioningly.

"Rebekah and Stefan headed into town for a wine festival. They said they'd be back tomorrow." He told her.

"Oh." She said. She had been hoping for Rebekah's support with this, now she felt alone and her fear went up a notch.

"Are you ok?" He asked studying her.

She debated for a few minutes. She could wait until the others came back. Avoid the issue until they returned, but somehow that seemed so cowardly. She needed to face what was going on.

"Not really." She admitted. She sat down in a chair across from him. He put down his book and gave her his undivided attention.

"What's wrong?" He asked gently. Even after how she had been acting, he still wasn't able to stay mad at her, that knowledge made her feel worse.

"I'm sorry I've been such a bitch lately." She said finally. "I've been…." She stuttered, uncertain what to say. "going through some stuff lately and I have been taking it out on you." She finished lamely.

Klaus sighed. "I don't know that I've been handling it properly either." He said.

"The thing is," Caroline said. "I think that enough time has gone by and that I'm ok enough with everything, that maybe I should leave, go off on my own."

Klaus' eyes widened and he felt like he had been punched in the stomach.

Caroline wouldn't meet his eyes, she just stared at the floor, but she continued speaking. "I mean, I appreciate everything you've done and all, but maybe it's time I went out on my own for a while." She finally looked up and gave him a weak, slightly sick smile. "It's not like I can use you for a security blanket for the rest of existence."

Her words hit him and he swallowed. He knew that it was probably too much to expect for her to ever feel for him the way he did for her, but to hear her state he was just a security blanket, hurt. He felt like she was cutting his heart out. He wanted to argue with her, insist she stay, and tell her it wasn't safe for her out there alone in the world, but then his conversation with Stefan came back to him. Was he doing her more harm than good? Had their relationship just become toxic and codependent?

He closed his eyes. Maybe the way to fixing it wasn't just a willingness to leave, but a willingness to let go.

"If you feel that is best," his voice came out hollow. "Then you should go. I don't want you to stay if you are unhappy."

Caroline felt tears well up in her eyes at his words. This was real. She was leaving. He was going to let her go.

"It's not that I'm unhappy." She felt the need to explain. "It's just the way things have gotten, maybe a little space would be a good thing."

He didn't look at her, but she could see the pain in his eyes. He nodded, but didn't say anything. Caroline sat there for a few more minutes, but didn't know what to say to make anything better for either of them. Finally she stood up and walked to the bedroom; if she was going to do this she should start packing.

She looked around the room she entered and her tears poured over her eyelids and down her face. She sat down on the bed and looked around the room. She was going to do this, she was going to leave. She ran her fingers across the book next to the bed. He was reading Dante's Inferno to her at night when they went to bed. She fell asleep every night listening to his accented voice, she was going to miss that so much.

She pulled out a suitcase and started opening drawers to put her clothes in. As she opened one drawer she found the box with the dried flowers he had given her. It seemed wherever they went he would pick her at least one wild flower and unable to watch them wilt and die, she started drying them and put them in a cedar box she had gotten on their travels. He was always surprising her with simple gestures like that. She swallowed and put the box carefully in her suitcase, along with the contents of the drawer.

She opened another drawer and found the dress she had worn at her last birthday. Rebekah had decided that since Caroline had lost the war over the decade dance, they would have a 70's themed party for her. Caroline smiled at the memory of both Klaus and Stefan's grumbling but finally consenting to dress accordingly. They had danced the entire night and it had been a wonderful time. She and Klaus actually did make great dance partners. Caroline sat on the bed staring off, lost in her memories.

She noticed one of his shirts lying on the bed and picked it up and inhaled his scent. That would be something else she missed about him.

She put down the shirt suddenly as realization struck her. She wasn't upset because she was afraid to go out on her own. She was upset because she was leaving him. She was going to miss him. There would be no more long conversations, no more smiles just for her, no more reading to her in bed, no more silliness just to get her to laugh. The idea of it made her feel awful.

She stood up and walked back into the living room. Klaus was no longer on the sofa; instead he was staring blankly out the window. She looked at him and knew suddenly, just knew in her heart, she couldn't leave.

"I can't do it." She said into the room.

He turned and looked at her. He looked so sad, but also confused by her statement. "Can't do what?" He asked.

"I can't leave." She stated. "I can't leave you." She clarified. She crossed the room and looked up at him. His face was such a twist of hope and misery. "I love you." She told him. "I am in love with you." She took a deep breath and let out a small laugh. "It's not just some codependency. It's not just because you make me feel safe and secure, it's because I love you. I love the time we spend together, I don't want to leave. I want to try and do this. I want to try and be a real couple."

He looked at her amazed. Only Caroline could do this to him. Only she could take him from absolute despair to elation in a few moments, but he still needed to be sure.

"Caroline, are you certain?" He asked her.

She laughed again. "Yes! Yes, I'm certain. I went in there to pack and all I could think about were all the things I'd miss about you. I wasn't afraid to leave, to be on my own, but the thought of not being with you was breaking my heart."

He grabbed her and held her tight. "I don't want to leave." She said again. "I want to stay with you, if you'll let me."

He pulled back. "Of course I'll let you." He still held her hands.

She looked away for a second. "I still don't think I'm ready for…"

"I'd never pressure you." He assured her.

"No, you wouldn't, would you?" She said. She looked deep into his eyes for a minute, then leaned up and gently pressed her lips to his. He kissed her back lightly, but took her lead and didn't press into it. After several seconds she pulled back and smiled at him. She stroked his forehead lightly.

He closed his eyes at her touch, but opened them again quickly; wanting to bask in the look she was giving him.

"Wanna go for a walk with me?" She asked.

"Would that be our first 'date' then?" He said with a smile.

"It sounds like a nice one."

"I'd love to." He told her.

She laced her fingers through his as they went outside and glanced down at the entwined hands. She felt a spark of something. It wasn't desire or anything that heavy, it was just excitement, pleasure at the simple contact. She squeezed his hand and felt him squeeze back lightly. She realized that eventually she would be able to overcome the last lingering shadow. With Klaus beside her and his love, she trusted him enough that eventually she could let go and they could have a normal physical relationship. She looked up into his warm eyes. Even if she couldn't, he would still love her and stay with her and that fact made her even more certain that she would be able to cross that bridge eventually.

"I still say you drive too fast." She told him with a laugh as they headed down the driveway.

"Sweetheart, we're in Italy, if I don't drive that fast, they will run us over." He told her, he stopped and looked at her. "You are seriously never going to cut me any slack are you, Miss Forbes?" He asked her.

She gave him a smile and walked ahead of him. "Someone needs to keep your ego under control."

He reached out for her waist and tickled her lightly. She let out peals of laughter. She found she didn't hate it.

A/N 2: I decided to post this for two reasons.

One: I wanted to address the issue of dependency, if someone becomes a 'savior' and protector to a victim, how do they know when their feelings are real or just security and gratefulness.

Two (and this is also the reason why I was very hesitant to post this): I spent a few years when younger, living on the streets in New Orleans. While there I encountered girls who were victims/survivors of rape. I can remember conversations about some of their experiences. I remember the biggest cause of shame and trauma came from the fact that at some point during their abuse they had an orgasm. It was something that made them doubt themselves and their entire view on sex. I did some reading on the subject while writing this story, I found that while it may not be a common occurrence, for many survivors it can be the hardest thing to come to terms with. It is also something that is very rarely talked about even with therapists. To that end, there isn't any conclusive evidence on how much it occurs.

I don't know if I did either topic justice and despite my friend's advice I'll defer to the readers. If you think it's done poorly or detracts, I'll remove this chapter and just post the Epilogue tomorrow.

I stand by my statement that this is a work of fiction and I don't mean for it to be a PSA, but a close friend of mine convinced me to include this chapter simply for the fact that it is rarely discussed and very rarely reported due to the shame associated with it. As I stated in the beginning, if anyone has experienced any sort of trauma like this, please seek help. As I found, there are many places you can go for support and many of them allow you to be anonymous.

As always, thank you for reading, for the nice comments, favorites and follows.