Chapter 11
Sherry could hear the kids playing downstairs as they all laughed amongst each other in whatever they were doing. She heard Terri shush them many times saying that "Aunt Sherry was still sleeping." Sherry laid awake in her bed with the curtains drawn. She left the window open so she could listen just in case bullets started flying. She didn't know what the Saviors were planning on doing but she knew that they could retaliate at any given moment.
For the most part, Sherry couldn't sleep. She was dying of worry about her group. She hoped that Negan would be preoccupied with other things to even think about punishing the people she cared about. But she just told Rick the day before that Negan was unpredictable. She didn't know what to think.
Sherry stretched and finally decided to get out of bed. She had been out of Sanctuary for a whole day. Already it started to feel like centuries since she left. Sherry enjoyed the feeling but she wasn't sure if she was completely happy of where she ended up. Her friends in Sanctuary made her feel genuinely at odds with herself. She didn't know whether her emotions should be happy or sad. So ended up being emotionless just so didn't have to settle on either feeling.
She walked to the window and opened the curtains up. She squinted at the bright sunlight as she looked outside to see what the Alexandrians were up to. Everyone just seemed to mind their own business. She could almost see a cloud over everyone's heads.
Sherry knew that Negan's power was starting to infect this place. Last night, she saw how little of rations the McCoy family had for their dinner. Negan required half of all of Alexandria's supplies so everyone was already feeling the burden that was set upon them.
Sherry looked to the dresser that was already stocked with clean clothes that were her size. She walked to it and opened the drawers to see what she could wear that day. She smiled when she saw that most of the clothes were what she felt like wearing. They were mostly dark colors that didn't draw much attention to herself.
Once she found another pair of black jeans and a long sleeve black shirt, she put them on and opened her bedroom door. The noises that came from downstairs stopped as Jason and Terri's family knew that she was awake.
She walked downstairs with her socks and shoes already on and walked into the kitchen where everyone was eating small amounts of oatmeal.
"Good morning, Aunt Sherry!" Jenna exclaimed with happiness.
Sherry smiled back at her. "You have to be the happiest teenager I have ever known, Jenna."
Terri put a hand to her heart. "Don't even say it. I can't believe she's old enough to be one." She said. "What do you have planned today?"
Sherry shrugged. "It's near the first of March, right?" She asked.
Terri nodded. "It's March 8th, 2013." She said.
Sherry looked to Terri visibly confused. "How do you know the exact date?" She asked.
"Deanna's made sure to keep track this entire time." Terri said. "Amazing woman, isn't she?"
Sherry nodded. "To run a place like this, she has to be."
Terri smiled as she took a washcloth to the kitchen counters. "She keeps on reminding us of the little things that are still important to have in a community. She already told us once everything calms down that we're going to have a party in honor of you being the new guest."
Sherry gazed back at Terri warily. "Really?" She asked.
"Every new guest gets one." Jason said as he entered the kitchen. "Can you imagine our shock from arriving from Sanctuary then going to a party with friendly people in Alexandria? At least you have some time to digest everything."
"Although I'm guessing it hasn't fully sunk in yet." Terri said looking to Sherry in concern. "You didn't say what you were going to do today, honey."
"I was thinking about pruning some grapevines. Deanna seemed enthusiastic that she'd have some grapes this year." Sherry said.
They smiled in approval thinking that she was adapting to the new way of life inside Alexandria. Truthfully, Sherry just needed to get her mind off things.
"I'll see you guys later." Sherry said as she headed towards the front door.
"We'll have lunch and dinner for you whenever you are ready for it!" Terri called after her. "Wait! You didn't eat breakfast!"
Sherry stopped and tried to think of the last time she had breakfast. She shook her head and headed towards the door again. "I'm not hungry." She mumbled.
…
The grape vines suffered a lot from too much overgrowth. Sherry had her work cut out for her. However, it kept her preoccupied while she was in Alexandria and for that she was thankful.
She could feel when someone's eyes wandered to her by various people that wandered throughout the community. She would turn around and see people go about their business as if they weren't caught in the act of staring. Sherry decided to pay them no mind and just focus on her work.
With pruning shears in hand, she cut as many vines and branches that she deemed had no use. She started to think of when she would help her dad with the grapevines in their backyard. Even though tending to the garden helped her get her mind off the present, she couldn't help but focus her mind on the past.
Her dad was a proud Italian and loved everything that involved the atmosphere of Italy. Most of all, he loved the music and the food. When they would tend to the garden, her dad would always start playing Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin while they worked.
While Sherry was pruning the plants, she started to think of the melodies that were ingrained in her memory. She continued to work for several hours and would also fix wires that snapped in between wooden poles.
"That's a beautiful tune. Where's it from?" She heard a woman ask behind her.
The unknown presence made Sherry jump and she turned around to face the woman with the pruning shears aimed at her. Sherry breathed heavily as she recognized the woman from when she was taken from Sanctuary. Sherry put the shears down as she scanned the woman's conduct. The woman, who she remembered as being called Carol, smiled at her now with trash bags and gardening gloves in hand.
Sherry looked at her in confusion. "Tune?" She asked.
"You were humming." Carol said. "Where's it from?"
Sherry couldn't remember when she started humming. The music just played in her head and she got caught up in the memories. She calmed her nerves again and smiled back. "It's called Buona Sera. By Dean Martin." She responded.
Carol placed the trash bag on the ground while she put the gloves on. "Do you mind if I help you?" She asked. "I would like to learn what you are doing so I can take care of them when you leave." She looked up to Sherry for confirmation. "You said you are leaving soon, right?"
Sherry nodded.
"Why?" Carol asked.
Sherry looked around at the paradise surrounding her then she looked down to herself. She shook her head in distaste and went back to pruning the grapevines. "I just don't really fit here." She said.
"No one blames you for the things Negan has done." Carol said as if reading her mind.
Sherry stopped and looked to the woman. The woman smiled in comfort back to her and then started picking the old branches up that littered the ground.
"You can't blame yourself for things your husband has done." Carol said. "Like the scars on your back. Did you do that or did Negan?"
"He did but it was only because…" Sherry started.
"Doesn't matter what you did. You didn't deserve it." Carol said cutting Sherry off. "One day you'll realize that all the guilt he has put on you isn't really your fault."
"You don't even know me." Sherry said to her. She didn't say it in a way that was to offend. But Sherry knew there were only so many people that could have known what her situation was like.
Carol looked back at her but said nothing. She looked at her directly in the eyes with an intensity that defied Sherry's when she demanded attention. "I know enough." She finally said. "And I know that none of what's going on is your fault."
Sherry felt as if she had been reprimanded by her mother. It wasn't an unwelcome rebuke. She knew she had to be constantly reminded that there was only one person to blame for the things that happened in her life. Even though Carol didn't know the situation, Sherry felt that she had been through her own trials to know what she was talking about.
A mutual respect started to form as they grew into a comfortable silence while working the grapevines. Sherry was surprised at how many grape vines they had in Alexandria. Once they started growing, there would be enough for everyone to use for jams, grape juice, raisins and wine.
After a while, Deanna joined them and started pruning her own share. Carol and Deanna immediately started conversation about security and other things pertaining to the community while Sherry decided to keep to herself and let the older women talk to each other.
She thought of her dad once more. Sherry hadn't seen a hallucination of him in Alexandria yet. She wondered if she would see him at all. She knew that seeing apparitions was one step closer to being crazy, but she enjoyed seeing him in one shape or form regardless.
"Don't you think, Sherry?" She heard Deanna ask.
She turned to look at Deanna and Carol who both gazed at her expectantly. "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening." She said.
Deanna smiled and started working again. "I was telling Carol that once everything settles down, it would be nice to start doing some trades with our neighboring communities. Maybe members of Sanctuary would be open to that?" She said as she looked to Sherry.
Sherry shrugged. "It would be nice."
"Do you think that a bad idea?" Deanna asked.
"I just don't know what the future holds. It's tough to plan when everything isn't set in stone." She said.
"Understandable." Deanna grinned. "I have a tendency to plan ahead of things."
"Your planning is what has made Alexandria great though." Carol said.
"Thanks. However, if it wasn't for your group, I shudder to think about what could have happened." Deanna said then looked to Sherry again. "Carol's group has done a lot for us. They are all leaders."
"Morning, Mom!" Sherry heard behind her. She didn't know why she was so jumpy today. She knew there were other people that lived in Alexandria but didn't expect the people would come up and talk to her. In Sanctuary, she was treated like Negan's wife. Hardly any Saviors spoke to her on a daily basis for fear of making Negan angry. The ones that did approach her were expected. She didn't like surprises.
Sherry turned around to see a tall man that smiled to Deanna. He looked to be a little bit older than she was and knew that it was the one living son that Deanna had. He smiled to Sherry and she could see the immediate attraction he had to her. It made her feel uncomfortable when he still looked at her.
"Sherry, this is my son Spencer." Deanna said. "Spencer, Sherry is new to our community."
"It's nice to meet you." Spencer said and stuck his hand out for Sherry to shake.
Sherry shook his hand but he held her hand for a little longer. She knew he was just overfriendly but she couldn't shake the panic she felt. She could hear them talking amongst each other as she looked around her in alarm. Sherry knew she was looking for Negan. She started to fear for Spencer who she just met. It was the reaction that Negan would have wanted her to have.
Sherry felt like she needed to get out of where she was or else she was going to have a meltdown in front of the strangers around her. She could hear the noise of iron on flesh while it burned. She could almost hear Dwight's yelling in agony until someone broke her concentration.
"Sherry, help me put these vines in this garbage bag over here." Carol said calmly. Sherry felt snapped back into reality as she looked to the woman. Deanna and Spencer were still talking about other things but Carol looked at her with worry evident in her face. She didn't know Carol's back story but she knew Carol knew what Sherry was going through.
Carol was suggesting that Sherry take a few steps away from Spencer without it looking completely awkward. Sherry was thankful for the rescue and walked away and towards Carol. The distraction helped Sherry not have a flashback to her time in Sanctuary.
"You don't think that was a dumb plan?" Spencer asked his mom as they continued to talk about Alexandria.
"I think Rick knows what he is doing and we should trust him." Deanna argued back to her son.
Carol looked to Sherry and muttered quietly so Spencer wouldn't hear. "Some people disagree with Rick's methods." She said.
Sherry nodded in understanding. "Opposition is always expected." She said quietly. She thought of Haruki in their meetings together as a group. Opposition didn't last long in the scheme of things with their new world.
"Don't you think we should just listen to what Negan has to say and let everything cool down?" Spencer asked. "We'd be protected by him and his men. It's not the worst thing in the world."
Sherry snorted at his remark to herself as she kept to her work.
"Do you disagree?" Spencer asked her.
Sherry was surprised that her reaction to his words didn't go unnoticed as they were all looking at her. "I'm here and not in Sanctuary. Of course I disagree." She said.
"And who are you exactly?" Spencer asked.
"Negan's wife." Sherry said. "And you should trust me when I say that you shouldn't trust him."
Spencer stood dumbfounded as he looked at her in bewilderment. Sherry knew he had nothing else to say while he was around her.
Sherry paid him no more attention as she looked to the grapevines. "I think we are finished." She looked to Deanna in question. "Is it okay if I go beyond the walls for a little bit? I'll be back before sunset."
"Alone?" Deanna asked.
Sherry nodded. "I'll be okay."
"I can send Spencer with you…" Deanna started.
"No." Sherry said. "I can take care of myself. I have a knife with me. I know you guys are low on ammo so I won't ask for a gun."
"Please be safe out there." Deanna said.
"I will be." Sherry said and picked up a couple of garbage bags full of vines. "Where do you want these?"
"You can drop them off at a couple of houses. They can use the vines for kindling." Deanna said. "Waste not; want not."
Sherry left without another word towards the gate outside of Alexandria. She needed to breathe and feel what it felt like to be out in the open space once more. Most of all, she couldn't deal with the waiting for what was going to happen in the future.
…
Sherry toured Alexandria's surroundings for the rest of the day. Once she finished circling around the gate's perimeter she started venturing further into the surrounding forest. Judging by the sun, she hypothesized it was nearing nightfall. She didn't have a destination in mind.
She should have felt safe inside gates but instead felt reminiscent of the six months before she ever came upon Sanctuary. She remembered a time when she hated sleeping on the forest floor. Now she only craved about the days when her group lived like vagabonds. At least they were free.
She walked around the forest while the sun started setting. She looked up to the sky and saw there wasn't a cloud in sight. She decided that she should try and head back to Alexandria before it got too late.
As she was heading back to Alexandria, she walked slowly and heard everything around her. Suddenly, she felt on edge. It was too quiet. She felt as if she was being watched. Immediately, she thought of Negan. She knew he probably knew where she was. Sherry hoped that he wasn't coming to take her back already. She knew that was always a huge possibility but didn't want it to happen yet.
She stopped walking and tried to hear everything around her once more. Then she heard growling coming to her left. Adrenaline started flowing through her as she smiled wide. She only had her knife with her but she knew she was going to have fun killing something outside the walls for once.
She looked to her left and saw three walkers headed her way with the intent to eat their prey. She walked away from them and unsheathed her knife. She stopped and waited for them to walk the rest of the way towards her. Sherry was ready to fight them.
Then she heard a silent whoosh as a walker fell to the ground with a bolt to his head. Sherry turned to see where the bolt came from and saw the man named Daryl standing behind her.
The growls got closer to them as he quickly loaded another bolt. She turned to see the walkers getting closer and decided to not wait up for Daryl to load his crossbow. She kicked the closest walker as hard as she could as it tumbled backwards and ran into the walker behind it. They both fell to the ground while Sherry took her knife to the first walker's head. The other walker started to stand up once more as it looked to Sherry with hungry, dull eyes. She took her knife out of the one walker and held it up high to strike once more on the last walker that was posing a threat. Another bolt whizzed by her side and hit the walker in between the eyes. The growls stopped and all was quiet.
Sherry turned to look at Daryl with wide eyes. She felt on edge once more with overwhelming helplessness taking over. She hardly knew the person that she was alone in the forest with. She wanted to tell herself that he was a friend of Rick's. She trusted Rick. But she didn't know Daryl.
"I could have handled that." She said as she gestured towards the walker. He walked over to the two walker's with his bolts and yanked them out of their skulls.
"Yer welcome." He mumbled back at her. "Why you out here by yerself?"
"I needed some space. How did you even find me?" She asked.
"Tracked you." Daryl said. "You ready to head back?"
"Are you my escort or something?" Sherry asked.
"Nah." Daryl said. "Just ain't safe out here."
She eyed him and then looked down to her feet. "Promise you won't try anything as we head back to Alexandria?"
He nodded. "Long as you don't try nothin'." He said.
They started walking back towards Alexandria but stayed off the road just in case any Saviors decided to scout that close to their boundaries. Daryl said nothing to her and she said nothing to him. Her thoughts weighed heavy on other things than small talk. Daryl didn't seem the type to take about trivial things either.
Once they could see the front gate to Alexandria, Sherry stopped. She felt a melancholy take over her as she stared at the gate. Sherry had so much to contemplate in the last couple of days and it seemed as if everything just started to pile up on top of each other.
"What's the matter?" Daryl turned to see her still not moving a step forward to the gate.
"I don't even know where to begin." Sherry said. "You can go ahead. I don't feel like going back in there just yet."
"Why?" He asked skeptically but his voice was full of concern at the same time.
Sherry looked to him and then looked back at the gate. Alexandria was everything she wanted in a community. In that moment, she thought of what it would have been like if her group came to Alexandria before Sanctuary. Hannah and Dean would have settled down and watched children play. They would've comforted each other in their personal grief and spent the rest of their lives together.
Haruki would have been alive. He would have eventually learned skills that could have proved useful for everyone. There would have been no reason to sell anyone out. Takuya would have been able to keep his best friend.
Yolanda and Jenna could have been together and they would have let their adoptive mother and daughter relationship blossom.
Things would have turned out drastically different for Dwight and Sherry. They could have been something. They would have avoided a lot of heartbreak without Sanctuary even being a memory.
Sherry felt as if everything was so messed up. She was glad that Jason and Terri's family received the happy ending they deserved. To her, everything else felt up in the air. She hated the feeling of unknowing. So much of her family were still suffering in Sanctuary. She didn't know if they were dead or alive even.
Sherry didn't know if it was desperation or if she even trusted the Alexandrians. She knew Jason was on their side and seemed fine with the authority, but she dealt with untrustworthy people before. She didn't want to put all of her eggs in one basket but felt she didn't have a choice.
She sighed and looked to Daryl. "There is so much that's fucked up right now. I don't even know where to begin." She said.
"Like what?" He asked after several moments of silence. Sherry could tell he teetered on trying to care yet didn't want to impose on her thoughts. He didn't seem like the person who talked about feelings.
"I don't know where to pick up a life. I don't know who the person was in Sanctuary that I used to be." Sherry confessed. "Who am I supposed to be now? After everything that has happened it's not the easiest to pretend it didn't happen. Jason and Terri have gotten used to how things are in there. I still feel like I'm suffocating."
Daryl didn't say anything but listened to what she said. He looked down to his shoes as Sherry could see thoughts rolling in his head. He wasn't a talker. Especially to people he hardly knew. She didn't expect him to say anything. She didn't expect him to understand what was going on in her own mind.
"Maybe things will get better sooner than you think." He said.
"I hope so." Sherry said.
"You can trust Rick." Daryl said. "He'll take care of all the shit that's happenin'."
"Again, I hope so." She said.
They stayed silent as Sherry stayed put. She still wasn't ready to go back in Alexandria. "How were things at the Kingdom?" She asked.
"They're joinin' up with us." Daryl said. "We had some new people come to Alexandria that want to help too."
Sherry nodded. "That's good. That'll help a lot."
"We should get inside." Daryl said.
She took a deep breath and nodded again. "Okay." Sherry said.
…
They made it inside the gate as they both went their separate ways. Sherry started walking to Jason and Terri's house that was further into Alexandria. When she got closer, she could see the lights were still on and the house appeared to be in an uproar. It was past dinner time and she didn't expect the McCoy family would have company this late. Sherry walked closer to the house and could hear Jenna wailing. Alarm hit Sherry as she started sprinting towards the house as fast as she could.
When she got to the house, she could hear multiple voices talking with one another. She opened the door and walked into the house. She stood frozen at the sight in front of her and hoped she wasn't experiencing another hallucination.
Jenna and Yolanda stood next to each other with their arms wrapped around each other. They both looked to Sherry with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. Kevin stood close to the two of them as he also smiled in Sherry's direction. Jason and Hansen looked to be talking to each other but stayed silent to look at yet another reunion among their friends.
Sherry's lip started to quiver as she covered her mouth. The people that she worried about were in Alexandria. They were finally safe. She closed her eyes while tears fell. Sobs started to escape as she fell to the floor. She couldn't take the amount of gratitude she felt at that moment.
Yolanda and Terri immediately rushed to her as they both knelt next to her. They hugged and cried with her as they all felt happiness to finally be together again. Another weight fell off of Sherry's shoulders. The responsibility for Yolanda and Kevin's life was no longer her burden to hold.
Yolanda smiled and held Sherry close. She cried with Sherry as they both mentally thought of their two years in Sanctuary together. They both had been through so much. It was hard to imagine it was over.
"Are you tired, sweetie?" Yolanda asked. Sherry knew she meant more than physically exhausted.
Sherry nodded and kept on sobbing. "I'm so tired." She responded.
"It's almost done. Everything is almost over." Yolanda said.
Sherry wiped at her eyes and looked to Yolanda. There were so many things to ask her. "How are you here?"
"Dwight smuggled us out the morning after you escaped. It turned out to be a good idea. Everyone was too distracted to notice that we were missing."
"My sisters are still in Sanctuary?" Sherry asked referring to Negan's other wives.
Yolanda nodded sadly. "He would've noticed they were gone before Dwight could have gotten them out." She said.
"Dwight and Takuya?" Sherry asked. "Where are they?"
Yolanda took a deep breath and looked at her. "They are still in Sanctuary as well. Dwight is going to play as a double agent so everyone who allies with Rick has an advantage." She explained.
Sherry felt a lump form in her throat but she knew Negan wouldn't kill any of them. They were each too valuable to him in a fight against the other communities.
Jenna joined them on the floor and smiled. "Thanks for keeping my mother safe." She said.
Sherry started crying again. She made a promise to Jenna long ago that Yolanda would be alive for them to see each other again. She was glad she was able to keep her promise.
Yolanda held Jenna's hand and looked to everyone with a smile. "So what do we do now?" She asked.
…
Rick came over to their house shortly after followed by other Alexandrians. Daryl, Carol and Carl were among them. Deanna came with her son Spencer who still looked bitter about their entire situation. Sherry didn't pay him any mind as she refused to have anyone rain on her parade. Most of her original group were together again.
A woman named Sasha joined them along with a man named Eugene. They both looked skeptically at Sherry but didn't say anything to her. She knew there were many in Alexandria who didn't trust her because of her status she had in Sanctuary as Negan's wife.
"Can I have everyone's attention?" Rick said to the house full of people. Everyone quieted down as they looked to their leader. "We are going to war with Negan. Soon. From what Dwight has told us, Negan is playing dumb. He'll come here in a couple of days to pick up supplies like he said he would. Before then, we're going to go on a supply run but we're going to make a detour to the Kingdom. Everyone in our allied communities will start training for war. Eugene has started a project on how to make more ammunition for us all. Hopefully that will be done on time?" Rick asked as he looked to Eugene.
"I assure you, my bullet will be done and will cause much affliction to the bastards on the other side." Eugene said in a one toned voice.
Rick nodded. "If Negan is going to play dumb, we'll play dumb too. And when he comes here to pick up supplies, we'll attack the Saviors on our turf." He said.
"When do we leave for the Kingdom?" Jason asked.
"We'll leave as early as tomorrow." Rick said. "I need some of you to stay to take care of our elderly and the children. We prefer anyone who is able bodied to come with us to the Kingdom so they can brush up on target practice and other combat skills. Anyone who is skilled at patching people up that wants to learn more from Denise should stay here."
"Mister Grimes," Yolanda started. "How many nurses or doctors do you have?"
"Not as much as I would like." Rick said.
"I will stay in Alexandria to learn and help Denise and Terri." Yolanda said.
Rick nodded then looked to Kevin and Hansen. "What about you two?" He asked.
"I'll fight." Hansen said. "I'm old but I am a good shot."
"It's a matter of war where death is bound to happen. I'm not a fan of killing but I will do my part regardless of my opinion." Kevin said.
Rick looked to Sherry. "I've seen you with a gun. You could help us a lot in a pinch." He said.
"I'm in." Sherry said assuredly. "You know how many times I have wanted to kill a Savior but never got the chance?"
Rick nodded. "Alright, then it's settled. We'll travel to the Kingdom tomorrow and then we'll go on a supply run. Once Negan comes here to pick up said supplies, we'll make the first move. Everyone clear?"
Everyone nodded to consent with Rick's plan.
Sherry took a deep breath and smiled. She could feel the end of an era come to a close. She just hoped her friends and herself would live to see the end of it.
