I'm kinda leaning towards making the Godfather thing into a full fic. A few people didn't seem to like it, though. But I should have pointed out that it was not meant to be a comedy. Anyway, I hope a few more people will give me some input on it. I'll probably write a sequal later, but without more reviews that is all you're getting. (I myself thought the Godfather parody was cool...)
Anyway, it is time for another interview! This time... Kon!
Interview: Kon
"Quit pokin' me..." Kon grumbled as he swatted at whoever was trying to wake him up. The poking continued. "I said cut it out!" Kon snarled as he opened his eyes. He froze when he saw his surroundings. No longer was he laying on Ichigo's bed sound asleep. He was now laying on a sofa in a dim lit room. There was a desk next to him, and some guy in wierd clothes was jabbing him with a stick. "Who are you?!" Kon jumped to his feet.
"I'm Agent HUNK!" the guy happily replied. He continued to poke Kon, and an awkward silence followed.
"Okaaay..." Kon stared at the guy. "Am I supposed to know who you are or something?"
"Nah..." the guy shook his head, which was covered by a gas mask and helmet. He was also wearing a black leather uniform and a bullet proof vest.
"Why are you poking me?" Kon's eye twitched.
"Because it is fun," the guy cheerily replied.
"CUT IT OUT!!!" Kon grabbed the stick and snapped it in half. "Why am I here?! How did I get here?!"
"I brought you here to interview you," Agent HUNK shrugged. "Anyway, you can call me H..."
"Interview me? About what?" Kon sat down on the sofa and surveyed the strange guy named H.
"Things..." H shrugged. "I was going to ask a few simple questions..."
"What's in it for me?" Kon narrowed his beady little eyes.
"5 bucks?" H held up a five-dollar bill.
"Done deal," Kon yanked the money out of his hand. "Ask away."
"What are you?" H pulled a clipboard out of his desk and a pen from his pocket.
"I'm a mod-soul!" Kon boasted proudly. "I can run really, really fast and kick the crap out of anything!"
"And you live with Ichigo and Rukia?" H scribbled a few things down.
"Yeah..." Kon nodded. "You're not a cop or anything, are you?"
"Heck no," H chuckled. "I'm just a curious guy with too much time on his hands..."
"Oh..." Kon shrugged. "Next question."
"What are you feelings about them?" H asked.
"I hate Ichigo. He's a pompous jerk with no respect for anyone other than himself," Kon growled.
"Oooh, harsh..." H scribbled on a certain page. "Rukia?"
"Ah, Rukia. Sweet, sweet Rukia... I love her so much, and yet it is as though we are not supposed to be together!" Kon sighed. "Fate seems to transpire against us..."
"Dude, you're a talking toy and she's a friggin' psycho!" H pointed at his bandaged knee.
"HOW DARE YOU INSULT RUKIA!!!" Kon dove at H, but was smacked down onto the desk by the Clipboard of Doom.
"Bad kittie... lion... plushie... thing... yeah..." H tossed Kon back onto the sofa. "Don't try that again."
"Ouchie..." Kon mumbled.
"Ichigo's family?" H asked the next question.
"HIS SISTERS ARE FROM HELL!!!" Kon screamed. "And his dad is nuts!"
"Tell me something I don't know..." H lolled his head from side to side. "About his dad, at least... You don't seem to like anybody from Ichigo's family."
"I hate Ichigo the most, though..." Kon hissed. "I would love to see him die. Then me and Rukia could run off together!"
"Hah, what are you gonna do? Hire a hitman?" H chuckled. Suddenly, a rope descended from a hole in the ceiling which nobody had noticed until just then. Somebody slid down the rope and dropped down right in front of Kon and H. "Oh heck no..." H slapped his gloved hands over his face. "WHY?!"
"HI THERE!!!" Dr. Insane-O waved at the distraught author and confused plushie. "Did somebody inquire about my services?"
"Are you a hitman?" Kon stared at the lab-coat clad madman.
"If the price is right," darkness burned within Dr. Insane-O's eyes behind their monocles.
"Dude, why are you here?" H pointed at his friend. "You were just supposed to be in one chapter!"
"The fans loved me," Dr. Insane-O shrugged. "So I came back."
"Yo, hitman guy," Kon waved to get his attention. "How much to kill Ichigo?"
"Five bucks?" Dr. Insane-O shrugged. Kon suddenly shoved the 5 dollar bill from earlier into his hand. Dr. Insane-O looked at the money and smiled. "Done and done!" With that, Dr. Insane-O scurried back up the rope and dissappeared from view.
"What just happened?" H asked after several seconds of silence.
"I hired a guy to kill Ichigo so me and Rukia could run off and live happily-ever-after," Kon smirked.
"Okay, just making sure..." H sighed. "I have a bad feeling about this..."
"Okay, back to the interview!" Kon yelled.
"Oh, right..." H picked up his clipboard. "I don't really have much else to ask you. I'm more worried about my friend going to kill Ichigo..."
"Why? It isn't like Ichigo is important," Kon smiled.
"Okay, yeah he is. He's the... nevermind. That isn't the problem, though," H shook his head.
"What is the problem then?" Kon asked.
"My friend is an idiot..." H replied. "A seriously big idiot."
"Oh..." Kon paused to consider that fact for a second. "Does he give refunds?"
"I doubt it..." H sighed. "I doubt it..."
Moral of the Story: Kon knows how to make a deal. Too bad they aren't good ones...
Next chapter: Assassination Attempts!
