Hey guys, here's chapter 11 and we only have one more chapter to go!
Also thank you for your reviews and little suggestions, they really help out!
Disclaimer: I do not own SVU or its characters nor am I making a profit from this work
Enjoy x
She had never felt so sick in her entire life. Rachel had suggested she do a pregnancy test with one of the nurses before she left and she'd shakily agreed.
The nurse, Jenna had left several minutes ago and was about due to come back and deliver the news. Quietly, Lia hoped she weren't pregnant. She didn't think she would be able to handle that, no matter how much support she had because it would always be his baby.
Jenna returned a few moments later with the ultimate poker face, and she sat down in the chair next to hers to tell her the worst, that she was in fact pregnant. With Dan's child.
Growing up Lia had never particularly wanted children, but after meeting Dan all that seemed to change. Maybe it was just a fairytale thought of the future that distracted her from the true nature of their relationship. That Dan was no prince, nor was she some damsel in distress needing to be saved. However, in playing into his cruel games she'd made herself exactly that.
Lia spent the rest of the walk back to the apartment with a lump in her throat, reality having sucker punched her straight in the gut.
The thing that made her feel a little nervous was the fact she couldn't hide it from her brother. She was mostly scared of his reaction. Thinking it would be more along the lines of disappointment then joy. And of course, he would smile and tell her that it was a good thing, but he would be sickened, filled nothing more than anger. That she let this happen.
How could she let this happen?
X
It was mid afternoon when her brother arrived home with the news that their parents had rung, and were wanting to see her.
She shrugged and looked at the ground. To be honest, she'd expected that call sooner. She loved her parents dearly but didn't think she had it in her to sit in the same room as them and explain how she had ended up in such a situation. How she had become like the women in the movies, who were broken beyond repair. How their lives were a never ending disaster that just never seemed to give them a break.
The point in her situation, was that she hadn't helped it. She never tried to better it for herself. Instead, the hole she was in had sunk deeper and deeper without her even noticing.
Now she wasn't just 12 foot down, she'd had the walls cave in on her. Trapping her in a lifetime of consequence. Something she would have to live with for the rest of her life.
Maybe not, but she hadn't let herself think about that yet. She didn't feel she deserved to. What Dan had done to her was wrong, and she hadn't deserved any of his beatings or angry words.
But she never tried to get away, never truly fought back and she had to live with that.
Now she was carrying his baby, and nothing could make her sicker.
People would ask, where the father of the child was and how she'd ended up as a single mother. They would pity her and look on with prying eyes. Lia would be known as the beaten woman who'd broken her entire life for the sake of a man who never really loved her.
It killed her.
"I don't think I can see them yet. Maybe in a couple of weeks." Was her response and after that she fell into silence, unable to even fathom her feelings, her feelings that crushed the air out of her lungs and twisted her mind inside out.
With a sigh, her brother had nodded and he understood to a certain degree and the pain his sister was in was overly evident.
"Some of the team were going to come by later, they want to get some more information about you and… him." He finished shortly, almost lamely. He couldn't even say the man's name. Even the single thought of him made him angry, and oh the things he would do if the law didn't exist. But of course, it did.
"Ah okay I guess." That worried Lia, but talking about the times Dan had called her names seemed the least of her problems.
The faint heartbeat she thought she could feel in her stomach pounded through her head and she swayed on the spot.
"Lia, are you feeling okay? You look pale."
She waved a hand dismissively, but leant against the couch behind her before speaking. "I'm fine. Just stressed I guess, about all of this."
He nodded, and took her word. "It'll all be over soon Lia."
She nodded. No it won't. She thought. It won't ever be over.
X
Olivia and Amanda turned up, along with Barba an hour or so later and Lia was strictly professional as she'd told herself over and over again that this was like a job. She had to recite the facts and not think about it too much.
She sat at the head of the dining table, with the other four on either side of it, and all of them were watching her and she focused her gaze on the bottle of water in front of her.
"What do you need to know?" She was the first to speak out in the silence, and her voice was cool, unemotional and that was sad. She'd almost been destroyed past the point of feelings, but to Lia, this was a good thing, something to be used to her advantage.
"Any little details about the incidents you remember help. Days and times will help us form a timeline."
"I don't remember exact dates." Her expression flashed panic for a second, and sitting closest to her, both Amanda and Olivia caught that.
"That's okay. Just try your best." Olivia spoke up, soothingly so and was surprised to hear Lia scoff.
Lia wasn't used to being told that. She expected herself to be the best of everything without excuse. Being told to try her best seemed pathetic and that was how she felt. Pathetic and numb.
And with the dull throbbing in her head, of Dan's voice calling out over and over again, she told the tale of their relationship.
How they were a beautiful rose garden that turned to nothing more than dead roses, and prickly thorns.
X
It wasn't long after Lia had finished speaking that she'd moved away, and without so much of an explaination, had locked herself in the guest bedroom.
Sitting with her back against the door, she could catch bits and pieces of their conversation she found herself a little distraught.
Dan had done terrible, terrible things to her and there was no denying that. But she was carrying his baby. And for some reason Lia felt the need for Dan to know.
The voices in her head bickered back and forth. Dan had hit her and what was to say he wouldn't hit their child? But then again, he had talked about the family he wanted them to have with the biggest smile. One that took Lia to a place of childhood. Growing up with two loving parents, and her siblings.
The perfect family. One she thought she wanted.
Lia was startled by a knock at the door then and quickly scrambled into a standing position. The voice on the other side let her know that it was Amanda, the blonde detective and after much consideration, Lia flicked the lock and allowed her in.
"You okay?" The southern detective asked and Lia shrugged.
"Wish everyone would stop asking me that." Amanda laughed and Lia turned and walked toward the small window that looked out onto the building next door.
Something about the idea that New York was beautiful made her chuckle then, and she sat down on the bed instead.
"Are the others listening at the door?" Lia then questioned harshly, still facing away from her.
"Nah, they're in the kitchen."
"Ah." Lia said shortly. "Can I ask something?" She then went on to say, and Amanda moved over to sit next to her on the bed.
"Sure, Lia."
Lia gave a faint smile. "I know this sound idiotic. But I recently got this news that I want to tell Dan."
Amanda didn't click straight away. "No Lia you can't. You need to put Dan behind you. Your future doesn't have to include him."
The encouraging words didn't make it very far.
"I'm afraid he will be part of my future." She paused, noting Amanda's confused expression. "Considering I'm pregnant with his child, and just don't tell anyone." She finished in a mumble.
Amanda was slightly gobsmacked, and simply placed a hand over Lia's until she came up with something to say.
"That doesn't have to change any of this." She settled on and Lia gave a nod despite the fact that carrying his baby changed absolutely everything.
X
The team said goodbye not long after Amanda left Lia in peace, and it was only when she noticed her brother standing in the doorway that she realised they had gone.
"Don't ask if I'm okay." She warned with a small smile.
"Well I know this may not be what you wanted."
"You're right." Lia sighed. "I didn't really expect any of this to happen. And I mean all of it. Why would Dan even like a girl like me? What did he see in me, that no other boy ever has?"
"I guess he was looking for easy prey." Carisi spoke truthfully and Lia raised her eyebrows at him.
"Wow. Low blow for you man."
He laughed, "Let me make it up for you. Pizza for dinner?" He asked, and at her grin, and nod he left the room to order it.
It was then that Lia realised that her future was completely up to her. She was no longer under Dan's control, and she had the ability to choose what she wanted to do with what had become of her life.
She did not have to raise this baby. She did not have to keep this baby, and above all, she did not have to tell Dan about it.
The two talked about general stuff over dinner, and Lia toyed with the idea of bringing up her situation, but each time she felt she was about to say something she couldn't.
"I know you're unsure about this whole trial thing, but it'll come up sooner rather than later and both Liv and Barba agreed that they want you to practice what you'll say during your testimony at the trial."
"Oh?" Lia mumbled and picked up another slice of pizza.
"They were trying to find an empty courtroom for tomorrow afternoon, to practice."
She didn't get to reply then, as the phone rang and she watched as her brother answered it. The conversation was short, and Lia quickly figured out that it was about what they were talking about just then.
"Tomorrow at 3pm." He confirmed and she felt a sick sense of dread cross her, but she met his gaze with a smile anyway because she was anything but weak.
X
Lia was left in the morning, with money for a taxi and the instruction that she was being met outside the court house by Olivia at five minutes to three.
Upon her brother walking out of the apartment for work, Lia had begun pacing, back and forth until she was light headed and nearly out of breath.
If anything, she suddenly wished she hadn't told Amanda she was pregnant. That made everything a little more difficult, and she realised this when she briefly scrolled through a list women's clinics that performed abortions in New York.
She made herself feel sick and had quickly exited out of the browser and deleted her history.
Everything told her that she didn't want this, but there was still a little something lingering below the surface telling her that a family was what she wanted. And it had been a concept that Dan had made sound so perfect.
Lia had absolutely no idea of what she wanted, and that fact brought her to tears, and she eventually found herself huddled in the corner of the living room.
Too often she had found herself cowering in the exact same position when Dan had downed one too many beers, but all of that seemed a blur then.
Without thinking, she pulled her phone back out and scrolled through to find Dan's contact.
She sat there for minutes, in a silent debate about what to do and in the end one side came out on top. What was one more call?
It rang several times before she even heard someone pick up and her breath hitched in her throat at the sound of the man who she once thought she loved.
"What the hell are you doing? I don't want to speak to you." The words cut through her like ice and as soon as she'd blurted the words out, she regretted it.
"I know. But, uh I'm pregnant."
She was cut off then, and as it dawned on her that she had quite possibly ruined everything she began to cry some more and suddenly the idea of playing the victim that afternoon felt like a terrible idea.
She was no victim. All of this she'd brought on herself. She wasn't worthy of having Dan charged, because in the end who could blame him?
She was never the one who left. All of those times she could have run to safety. Could have told someone, and she didn't. She toughed it out and never made it home to the finish line.
X
It was ten past three when Carisi, who was already deep in thought about his sister noticed his cell ringing.
The caller ID told him it was Olivia and confused, he picked up the call.
"Hey, are you guys finished already?" He asked lightly and heard Olivia sigh on the other side.
"Lia didn't show up Carisi." The words hit him hard, and instantly he knew something was wrong, moreso when he dialled Lia's number after hanging up with Olivia.
It went straight to voice mail.
"Lia's not available right now, please leave a message after the beep."
Lia didn't even make it out of the apartment.
Cliffhanger?
I'm already writing the last chapter and it is ACTION PACKED.
I don't really need any suggestions as I have it planned out how I like it, but please feel free to give me anything you want to see before it ends. It may not fit in, but I can try!
5+ reviews again?
Much love,
Liv x
