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Chapter 11- Discussion

Andria's POV:

I was absolutely in panic mode. I had been laying all of my clothes out for the trip to New York, which I was told was not for two days but for a whole week. My bed was covered in clothes, as was my chair and my entire rug in front of my fireplace. I ran my hand through my hair, pushing it back off of my face. Edward chuckled as he walked into my bedroom. I turned around and glared at him.

"I see nothing funny about this Edward Cullen! Ugh! We leave tomorrow morning and I'm still not fully packed! I have no clue what to bring with me. What are we going to be doing?"

"Alice hasn't told me," he said nonchalantly as he picked up a pile of sweaters on the chair to sit down and then set them back in his lap.

"Alice hasn't told me," I said mockingly and then placed my hands on my hips. "Alice doesn't have to tell you." I grinned wickedly and he shook his head.

"If you would just tell me it would make my packing a lot easier," I mumbled and started digging through my closet again.

"It would ruin the surprise," he said nonchalantly.

I carried out an armful of shoes and dropped them in a pile on the floor. "I've already been to New York City, Edward. There is no surprise."

"Yes, but not with the Cullen family." He grinned at me, and then stood up. "Alice will be here shortly to help you finish packing. She was planning on doing all of your packing anyway, but you've already started."

"Yes, because it isn't Alice's job to pack for me," I said as I looked through a stack of sweaters

Edward grabbed my hands and pulled me into the living room. "Alice wants to pack for you. Please just relax, it is part of the fun for Alice." He sat down on the couch and pulled me down into his lap.

A few minutes later the front door opened and Alice walked inside. "Hello," she said brightly to me and Edward and then walked straight back to my bedroom.

I looked at Edward and then followed behind Alice. I stopped in the doorway and saw that Alice was standing by my bed looking around her with a look of slight disgust on her face.

"I never was very good at packing. I have a hard time deciding what to take with me. Especially when people don't tell me what we are doing on a trip," I said as I looked back at Edward.

Alice looked through a pile of sweaters and held up a lavender turtleneck. She shook her head and then put it back down. "Your wardrobe is very colorful," she said as she scanned the room again.

"I like bright colors. Apparently unlike your family, who stick to blues and grays and neutrals," I muttered as I walked over by the chair and held up a navy blue v-neck cashmere sweater. "How about this one, Alice?"

"That will be fine. Here, let's make a pile of clothes that we are taking with us," she said as she swept the clothes off of the top of the bed in one quick motion. She took the sweater from my hands, refolded it and then placed it on the now clear spot on the bed.

Alice and I continued the same process of picking through the sweaters, shirts, pants, and shoes, holding them up to examine them and then either tossing them to the side or adding them to the 'take' pile. Edward stood like a statue in the doorway, thoroughly enjoying watching my ordeal. I snuck the lavender sweater, one of my favorites, into the 'take' pile. Alice noticed the sweater and smirked at me.

After an hour of going through my entire fall and winter wardrobe, Alice had packed two suitcases for a weeklong trip- full of mostly blues, grays, and neutrals like I expected- but Alice agreed to allow me to bring some brighter colors, ones she said 'enhanced' my eyes.

I sighed as I flopped down on the bed. "Alice, is all of that really necessary?"

"Yes, Alexandria it is," she said as she sat next to me, much more gracefully. "I'm bringing along an empty suitcase for you as well. You'll need a new summer wardrobe while we are there."

"Why? We're only going for a week!" I asked as I sat up on my elbows and looked at Alice.

She smiled at me, and quickly glanced at Edward and said, "Edward is in love with you, you're a part of our family, so we are going to show you how the Cullen family lives and travels."

I smiled at Alice, "The only trouble is your family doesn't have to eat," I said.

"Don't worry Andria, we won't forget to feed you. Besides, Renesmee said she was going to eat with you too- even though I think she would rather not eat human food- and Jacob will be there. He has to eat too."

I laughed and looked at Edward and smiled. "So what are you going to eat?"

"We are all hunting tonight before we leave in the morning," he said as he walked over to stand in front of me. I raised my eyebrow and inclined my head.

"Anything I can do for you Mr. Cullen?" I asked, unable to keep the smile from tugging at the corners of my lips.

"Yes, as a matter of fact there is Miss DeAngelo. I want you to be careful tonight when we go to hunt. The whole family is going and Jacob is going home for the night before we leave. You will be here all alone. I want you to be safe."

I smiled and then pointed to the well stocked gun cabinet behind me in the corner of the room. "Not a problem," I smirked at him.

"Guns can only protect you from some things, darling," he said as he bent over my body and kissed me.

"Ew," Alice said as she stood from the bed and walked out onto the porch.

I giggled against Edward's lips. He straightened and held out his hand to me. I took it and he swiftly pulled me into his arms. "Be careful tonight, my love, and sleep well. I will be here when you awake in the morning."

I smiled at him as I stared into his eyes. "Be careful yourself."

He nodded and tipped my chin to capture my lips once more. His lips left mine and traveled to my neck and collarbone. I inhaled sharply as his lips parted and he kissed me against my jugular.

"Goodnight, love," Edward said.

I smiled at him. "Goodnight. Goodnight Alice."

I watched them leave from the porch until I could no longer see them and then I went to take a shower. A long, hot shower.

As the hot water ran down my back, all I could picture was Edward and his topaz colored eyes. I could clearly see the love for me in his eyes. I knew I was in love with him, but my emotions were still mixed. It seemed like such a short time since Travis had died, and I shouldn't be happy this soon; or even in love.

I stood in the water a while longer and then decided I would rather relax in the bath. I sat in the tub, letting the water fill around me. I leaned my head against the tub and sighed.

Why was this so difficult for me? Why was it so hard to accept that I loved him and he loved me? Was it because Travis wasn't here to witness my happiness with me? I had witnessed his.

I had been there to give my consent to my brother dating my best friend, but no one was here for me. I realized Travis would never know Edward and it was like a knife to my heart. Travis was in heaven, so in a way he knew Edward, but he would never really know him. A tear rolled down my cheek.

It had been so long since I had thought of Travis, since I had cried over my brother. I remembered realizing what had killed him- a vampire. Travis had been killed by the same creature that I was in love with. I didn't dare say monster, because Edward was far from the monster that had killed Travis. The Cullens were not monsters, and that is why I was able to love Edward so easily.

He was different, but at the same time he wasn't. He was everything I had ever wanted and more. I had already given my heart to Edward, and I would give anything I had, to keep him in my life. I would fight for him and give my life for him. I wanted to be able to love him fully, no holding back.

I smiled to myself. I was absolutely sure of my feelings now. I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be changed- to be a Cullen, to be a vampire. I wanted to be able to love Edward completely, with everything I had, and I wanted to be loved with everything he had, without holding back.

He was so careful around me so he wouldn't break me. I wanted so much more. I wanted him forever. No matter what the risk.

I laughed as Emmett was barely able to close the back of my Explorer. "You can thank Alice for that." I laughed.

"Oh we know, we've all traveled with Alice before. Rosalie, Esme, and Alice's desire to shop has no limit," Edward said as he chuckled at Emmett, who was now loading up the Jeep. There were a total of twenty one suitcases. Each of the girls had packed two and the guys had only packed one. Plus Alice had insisted we would need four extra for shopping.

"How many vehicles are we taking to the airport?" I asked.

"I am driving you, me, Renesmee and Jacob in your SUV, Rose and Emmett are taking the Jeep and Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper are driving the Mercedes," Edward said.

"Oh," I responded as the Cullen family filed out of the house and to the line of cars where Edward and I stood.

"Are we ready?" Carlisle asked, his smile warm as he caught my eyes. I smiled back and nodded.

"Good, let's go," he said as he kissed Esme and headed to his black Mercedes.

The drive to the airport was silent. When we checked our bags, the woman at the counter was shocked. Carlisle handed her his credit card and smiled. The woman looked at the card and then at Carlisle and nearly fainted. I suppressed my laughter into Edward's arm. He stroked my back lovingly, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips too.

Once our bags were checked, we waited until we could board the flight. I was nervous and excited at the same time. We boarded the plane thirty minutes later, first class, which I should have expected. I sat by the window and Edward was beside me.

Once we touched down in New York, we were met by a limousine to take us to our hotel. The excitement of being in New York was growing in me as we came to a stop in front of our hotel. With Edward's help I stepped out of the limo and my jaw dropped. We were parked in front of the Plaza hotel in New York City!

Carlisle tipped the bell hop handsomely to bring our twenty one bags to our room. We walked inside quickly; the clouds were beginning to dissipate in the sky. Alice checked us all in, and then we headed to the private elevator.

"A private elevator, really? Alice what room are we staying in?" I asked as we all walked into the elevator.

"The Royal Plaza suite," Alice said as she smiled at me.

I remained calm on the outside, but inside I was screaming. I had never been in a hotel even remotely this nice. Alice slid the key through the door and swung open the massive wooden doors to our suite.

I followed Edward into the large and ornately decorated living room and sat down in an armchair.

"Ok, Andria we are putting you in the master suite and Renesmee and Jacob in the others, since you three are the only ones who sleep." Alice instructed.

I nodded and then smiled at Renesmee as we both jumped up and ran to the master suite.

I entered the room and stood still. The room was a soft cream color with dark mahogany wood floors. There was a fireplace on the wall opposite the large bed. I jumped on the ornate king size bed and was immediately in love. "I feel like I'm on a cloud."

"Shall I purchase an identical bed for you back home, darling?" Edward asked from the doorway as he walked into the room.

"No, mine is just fine." Edward gave me a skeptical look. "Besides I won't need it forever," I said as I hopped off the bed and began exploring the rest of my room, including the bath and separate dressing room. Renesmee went to explore hers.

Edward followed me into the dressing room. "What do you mean, you won't need it forever?" He sounded upset.

I turned to face him. I could see the hurt in his eyes "I want you to change me one day."

"One day, as in many, many years from now," Edward said gravely.

I shook my head. "No, like in the next few years," I paused, "or sooner."

"No," he said firmly. I winced; I knew he wouldn't like this idea, he had already hinted at wanting me to remain a human for as long as possible and he abhorred talking to me about changing me.

"Why not? I know I love you Edward, I want to be with you forever."

The pained look crossed his face again as he softly stroked my cheek. "What about your beautiful soul?"

"I'd rather have you. We've had this part of the discussion, Edward. I don't believe I will lose my soul. It's who I am, and changing me won't change my soul. Plus I don't want to be that much older than you."

"You won't be darling, I have almost 100 years on you," he said smirking, trying to lighten the conversation.

"Edward, you know what I mean!" My anger was growing; why couldn't he just see how I felt.

"I want you Edward, I want to be a part of your life forever," I whispered. I looked at my feet and then back up at his face. "I love you, I love you more than anything in the world. I was unsure, what I felt at first, but I know it. I just know it- I know what I feel and I know what I want. I want you."

Edward closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. "Just because I don't want to change you doesn't mean I don't love you, Alexandria."

My heart was pounding; I knew he could hear it. I felt like my heart was breaking; maybe he didn't love me as much as I loved him. Could he ever love me as much as I loved him?

"I know that, Edward," I said as I turned my back to him, trying desperately to hide the tears that were welling up in my eyes.

"Then why do you want me to change you so soon? Think about what you are giving up Alexandria! Your future, children, a real man who can grow old with you."

"I'm not giving up anything that I'm not willing to, Edward. I have thought about this. I know what I want," I said, raising my voice as I whirled back around to face him.

He sighed and closed his eyes again. When he opened them, he looked down at me with love and compassion. "Do you want children, Alexandria?"

I looked at him, puzzled as to why it mattered. "Yes, but you can still give me a child."

He wrapped his arms around me tightly. "It's not safe, Andria."

This time I sighed. "You had Renesmee. Why should it be any different for me?"

"If you think I don't love you Alexandria, you are very mistaken." His voice was stern, but he wasn't mad. "I love you with every fiber of my being, and because of that love I cannot and will not risk your safety or your life."

"I would," I said. "For our child and a life with you, I would offer my body, heart, and soul to the devil if it meant I was able to keep you in my life forever."

Edward looked into my eyes. "That is what you are doing." He mumbled something else incoherently and then smiled at me. "You aren't right, Andria."

"No, but you love me for it," I said as I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and pressed my cheek against the hard muscles of his chest. I inhaled his magical scent and knew that I was where I wanted to be. I knew I was with the person I was meant to be with.

Edward kissed the top of my head. "We will discuss this later. In Forks, when we aren't here on a vacation for you."

Then we walked into the living room to discuss with everyone our plans for the week.

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