"Nooo~!"
Four cups had slammed back down on the table for the fifth time that night, and for the fifth time it was my hand that was plucking another treat from the small cask upon the table.
"Better luck next time, hon!"
The innkeeper hugged his disgruntled wife to console her. He seemed happy that she had met her match, as that meant someone else was enjoying the literal fruits of his labor for once. Our hosts had generously brought the pears the innkeeper had pickled to the table, in order to raise the stakes on our little match. Humans sure loved their drinking games.
"Hmph! He's even letting her win, I'll wager."
My companion was on the receiving end of a deadly glare, but even half-drunk he was up for the challenge.
"I just don't like sweet things as much as spirits."
I could vouch for that. He always left the treats for me. He was the type who would eat the bitterest rye bread and drink the sourest sap-like wine. Of course I had been doing my best to refine his palate, but lately I found myself wishing he would return to his miserly ways. The innkeeper and his wife seemed to have finally realized how cultured we actually were.
"Looks like you two're pretty good at this."
"I daresay he'd make a better taverner."
The innkeeper couldn't hold in his laughter anymore, earning him a rude shove. His wife then turned her attention to me.
"Just how could you fall for such a boring man?"
"'Tis precisely what I wish to ask you."
It was an obvious ploy; obvious enough for me to hear my companion sighing beside me. The innkeeper, on the other hand, was not going to let that stand. It seemed at least he was willing to play along.
"Who ya callin' boring? Why, I've got the most interesting story of anyone in town!"
"You twit. Do you really think your little stories can impress travelers like these two?"
"Now you said it!"
The two of them were clearly enjoying themselves. I could tell that my companion was shooting me a sidelong glance, worried that I considered him boring. It was my turn to sigh.
"I'll have you know that if it weren't for me, this little town of ours would be far more drab!"
"So you say!"
I sometimes wished my companion could get as riled up about things as this innkeeper. To this day he was still incapable of losing his temper with me, and that only made it all the more painful to remember the one time he had ever done so.
"At least let me tell my story before you scoff at it, woman!"
His wife turned her back to him, crossing her arms to complete her snub. Undeterred, he turned to face us and launched into a rambling tale.
"Now then! Years ago when I was just a lad, I worked for a man that even dirt would call old. Yardel was his name, and he was as surly an old grump as ever there was one."
His wife snickered, but none of us moved to remind him that we already knew who Yardel was.
"He'd beat his workers with a switch if he thought they weren't working hard enough, and he wouldn't pay 'em nothing but room and board! Now how's a kid supposed to strike off on his own like that, I ask ya?!"
He slammed his cup on the table in what seemed like genuine annoyance.
"Anyway, I got tired of his rotten attitude, so one night I took a shovel, uprooted one of his precious saplings, and ran off with it!"
His wife impatiently nudged him with her elbow, her arms still crossed.
"Hmph. You didn't make it very far, did you?"
"Of course not! I barely made it to town here before I finally collapsed! But that's besides the point!"
"Oh, do go on."
She shook her head incredulously, clearly having heard this story before. Her husband ignored her and swept his arm across the table to regain our devotion.
"As I was sayin', I somehow found my way into this old abandoned building, and hunkered down for a while. Old Yardel was furious! I could hear him stompin' around lookin' for me! But I stayed hid, and the old coot was none the wiser!"
His wife sighed, unable to contain herself any longer.
"And just whose home were you squatting in?"
"Jeez, I was just getting to that part!"
He turned to us and drew in a deep breath to steady himself.
"So anyhow, I hid in this building I thought was abandoned. Turns out that the owners were just away, lookin' for a new place to move to. So guess who came waltzing in one day, only to find a stranger lying in her bed?"
There was no need for him to point so rudely at his wife as he said that, and indeed she nearly yanked his thumb off for doing so.
"And she takes one look at me hugging the last of my preserves in the cold, and shouts at her parents to go call Yardel!"
"Would'a served you right, too!"
He brushed off her challenge and remained focused on us, drawing in and speaking in a hushed tone.
"But'cha know what? They didn't kick me out. I begged 'em not to, of course, but they listened! Not like this one!"
This time he rudely nodded his head toward his wife instead of pointing, but that only made her reach for his earlobe.
"Yeoow!"
"I couldn't believe his nerve! And my parents bought his sob story, too! Even said he'd come in more handy than I would!"
It seemed these two were truly made for each other. They were like two old hounds growling at one another over the last piece of meat, even if they would end up tearing it in half between them.
"Anyway, long story short, I lived with 'em until the day they finally up and moved away. But you'll never guess who else decided to stay behind."
His wife shook her head in an annoyed manner, and crossed her arms again. Against all odds, it was my companion who spoke next, in a hushed whisper directly into my ear.
"Heh... reminds me of someone else I know."
I jabbed him in the side to keep him quiet, just in time for the innkeeper's wife to chime in.
"What's a lass of fifteen to do? Just be dragged around by her parents? I was glad to be rid of 'em! If only you'd gone too!"
The coy smiles on their faces made it clear where their true feelings lay. I wondered if this is how my companion and I would behave in the future, but then decided he would never have the nerve.
"That didn't stop you from kicking me out! If it were later in the year, I'd have probably froze to death!"
His wife simply rolled her eyes and let him continue.
"All I could do was tend to the garden and try to get her to see reason. Lucky for me that pear tree bore fruit, or she'd probably have never taken me back."
"Damn my sweet tooth! If only everything green I touch didn't turn to ash!"
In an amusing twist, his wife was blessed with looks and wit, but that was all she had going for her. It was obvious she had no choice but to take him in.
"So it turns out that even a runaway orphan like me has his use."
"Hmph! Just be thankful that you had the sense to take a pear tree with you."
My patience with these two would have long been at its limit had they not been our hosts. But as a Wisewolf, I knew when to be thankful, so I nudged my companion so he would continue the conversation.
"Uh! So... that's what you meant when you said this town would be more drab without you, huh?"
"Hmm? Yup! If I hadn't brought that pear tree with me, this place would be a sorry sight now."
His wife turned and shot him a sharp glare. It was obvious that he had intentionally avoided saying the line she wanted him to say. Seeing her pout with her hands on her hips made for quite an amusing scene.
"You dimwit! At least let me hear sweet words if I can't have sweet pears!"
I could no longer stand to remain silent when I saw the thoughtful look in my companion's eyes. I could not have him learning the wrong lessons.
"Then this village is a haven for orphans...?"
I purposely trailed off, inciting the response I was hoping for.
"Haven? Well, I guess it might as well be."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, ever since ol' Yardel kicked the bucket, all his orphans came over here."
That had to mean that Yardel often hired orphans to work for him for room and board. I decided to play dumb and milk the innkeeper for information.
"Ah, I see... still, there are quite a few orphans, are there not?"
"Sure are. All 'cause of the plague, just like the last time."
To my surprise I heard my companion shift uncomfortably in his seat. I was now compelled to push the topic.
"Oh, I am sorry, I did not realize-"
"Nah, don't worry about it. Not like you could'a known about that. Yardel just got lucky. Tiny hands are better for packin' fruit into casks, you see. His goodwill was also good for business."
"Ah..."
Despite him listening in, I could tell that my companion's mind was drifting. I had to discover why.
"But you know, Yardel did have a soft spot for hard workers. Usually he'd just boot the older kids out the door, but it took him a lot longer for the ones that took his lessons to heart."
It felt like I was on the verge of a major discovery.
"Lessons?"
"Aye, lessons. All that stuff about coin and swindling people out of it. I could never stay awake for 'em. All I remember was him sayin' that the business world was tough, but I had no interest in that kinda stuff."
The innkeeper got a sharp knock on his head for daring to say that in his wife's presence.
"And now look at you! Maybe if you listened to those lessons we wouldn't be barely scraping by!"
"Aw, jeez... this again? It's not like you had the patience for such things either."
I tilted my head inquisitively at the innkeeper's wife, whose face reddened slightly.
"She'd always run off when her folks tried to teach her how to run this place. And I wasn't gonna push my luck anymore. Turns out that running an inn's about all I'm good for."
To my shock, my companion's lips finally moved.
"So that's the punchline, huh? I guess the alternatives were just too 'drab', were they?"
The innkeeper's hand was suddenly rubbing the back of his now-red head.
"Heh... well, I guess you got me there."
His wife turned away with a pout on her face. I could not blame the innkeeper; who would want to say something as cringe-worthy as 'this place would be far more drab if my wife had left?'
"This one also makes me say embarrassing things like that."
"Why else would I stay with such a boring man?"
I folded my arms and glared at him deviously. I had to make it clear that he was ruining my interrogation. The innkeeper seemed to notice my glare, but not its intent.
"Oh ho? Finally warming up are you?"
"Hmm?"
"I was just wondering if the two of you had the fire to last even a single winter up here in the north. Haven't seen anyone so stoic since those pilgrims back when I was a kid."
Curiously that seemed to trigger something in my companion. Perhaps he was finally nearing his limit.
"Pilgrims?"
"Yup. That's what we thought you were, until we saw nothing but a wagon full of booze behind you."
My companion's eyes had brightened up considerably, just the way they always did when he became a merchant. But this time it seemed different somehow.
"Hah! I guess not! I didn't know pilgrims came this far north."
"Yup, surprised us too. I still remember that long line of covered wagons crawling over the hills. I wondered if some king had come to annex our land or something. But no, they just wanted to settle here. Heh. Yardel's eyes nearly popped out of his head when they said that."
I listened patiently as my companion spoke with the innkeeper. Evidently, most of the settlers had a difficult time adjusting to life in the north, and in the end nearly all of them succumbed to the plague when it struck.
"That was the first time the plague hit us. Kind of odd that a bunch of Church people were sent here by God, only to be taken to heaven a year or two later. Their habits somehow stuck with us in spite of that, but I guess all we could do at the time was pray."
"I see. Makes me wonder where they were from? Sounds like they can't have been cut out for life in the north."
Hearing my companion chat with the innkeeper was slowly bringing things into focus for me. It was actually a bit overwhelming to consider why he would be asking such questions now, when he had been so disinterested before. I looked at his cup, worried about its lack of liquor, and the innkeeper's wife produced another bottle from under the table.
"Ah, sorry, but we're down to our last bottle."
I quickly poured the contents of my own cup into my companion's and held my hand out for the next round.
"Hey! Holo... jeez!"
Despite his reaction, I knew how much he could still handle. I had no desire for him to end up on the table just because the innkeeper's wife was overzealous. If we paced ourselves, he could continue enjoying himself for a good while longer (and I might have some of my own questions answered). I announced my intentions clearly.
"Fear not! We still have a crate of apple wine to get through!"
The woman slunk back, but I was too busy stealing a glance at my companion; I could not help but watch his hand shoot up to his brow in quiet frustration.
