This is a Naruto Fanfiction Only.

A/N: Just so that we are clear, Naruto is the identity Shinju was forced to take after his sons betrayed him and carved the nine tails beats of out him. He is not getting married, because he is married to the mother of his children, and he considers Zetsu his daughter because she was made by his wife.

I was not surprised that out of all the guest suits, my team and I got the worst. Honestly I still think we should done these Exams back in Iwa, this place always has hated me, I don't see that changing any time soon or ever.

I told each of them to be careful and never take anything for granted, to always look at a situation from all angles, to look beneath the underneath as it were, to maintain their confidence and work together, I told them they are the representatives of our village to the world, but to me the most important thing is that they came back alive.

I know that I can't accompany them, and let's face it I do worry about them somewhat. It comes with being their instructor, after spending time with them, how in the world would I be able to say that I don't care. I went to the only restaurant that would ever sell me food and decided to have some ramen.

I know what most would think, ramen for lunch or dinner is fine but breakfast? Let's face it, there are no ramen stands or restaurants that serve ramen in Iwa, so I might as well enjoy it while I can.

I saw a person sitting on the same table I was on, "One Miso Ramen please, and what are you having Orochimaru?" That made the person become a little nervous for some odd reason and looked at me, she pulled down her hood and tried to smile at me, "You must have me mistaken for someone else, I am just having some rice before I have to go to the exams with my team from Suna."

I saw the old chef and for some odd reason he gave me the large bowl, I thanked him and gave him the money for my order, but he refused to take it. Told me it was a delayed birthday gift.

"Well you have the scent of a snake, I imagined there are only there are not many people that smell like that. Must mean your family are snake handlers then, my bad. I have to tell you out of this entire decrepit village this place is the only place I consider decent. The cook and his daughter are polite, kind and considerate to all customers. The food is great, I am going to miss it actually when I go back to my village."

Orochimaru just kept quiet as we both ate our food, I could probably talk to him about gender confusion after having swapped bodies that many times, but then again there was always a rumor that Orochimaru was actually gay. Zetsu told me some pretty funny things about him last night, I still think the entire rivalry with Jiraiya is because he secretly is in love with him.

As I finished my bowl, I placed it on the counter as I was ready to leave, "A wonderful meal, I sure wish I could convince you to move to Iwagakure. I know I don't have much of a chance of getting you and your daughter to do that, so thank you. I left the money in my bowl. Your kindness is the only birthday present I need."

As I walked towards the office of the Hokage a small child bumped into me, I could not help but to scream at the kid telling Konohamaru to watch where he was going, he could get hurt running like that.

I entered the place where all the other Jounin Instructors were meeting and sure enough there were instructors for all the villages present. "Sorry for the wait, did I miss anything?" This made the other instructors glare at me, guess they didn't like me being late, and yet Kakashi is not present, I sincerely doubt that they will glare at him the same way, then again the ones glaring at me were from Konoha.

"No, Naruto have not missed anything, we were having a rather heated discussion about your status actually. Some of the instructors of our village felt that you were not qualified to be considered to enter the exams much less be considered an instructor." That really made me angry, how dare he say I was part of his putrid village.

"I am an instructor of Iwa, my Kage tested me and I am recognized by him, further more I am not a ninja of this village, don't insult me or my village like that again, or I shall inform my kage of this and he doesn't need an excuse to hate this place even more than he already does now does he?"

I looked at him and took out my sword, "As for people doubting I am strong and skilled enough to be an instructor by all means attack me, but I am not as merciful as the Hokage there, you attack me and want me to arrange a meeting with your maker, by all means, I will help you meet the reaper, she is a good friend of mine."

That made a couple of the men see I was not kidding and some of the women blush for some strange reason. "There is no need for that Naruto, sorry for my mistake, it is just I still remember when you were a little boy living in my village, the Iwakage has informed me that you are indeed qualified and no I don't want to cause yet another war because of the hurt egos of a few instructors."

"As I was going to begin to inform you and the rest of the instructors the exams will be divided in three phases, four if there are too many students to attend the final phase, the first phase is a written exam to test the team's ability to gather information, the second will consist of a tracking and retrieval exam, the third and maybe fourth exam will be a tournament between the remaining students to show their abilities."

One of the instructors from the new Sound village decided to put up his hand, "And where will the second phase exam happen Hokage?" He didn't even smile when the Hokage told him the second phase is going to be in the Forest of Death.

"Great, my students alone, in a forest full of poison plants, killer animals, and god knows how many other dangers, this will be lovely, I wonder how many of their parents I will have to meet to inform them of their child untimely death."

I was sick of this already, I wanted to get back to my team and be able to be away these insulting egomaniacs. "The job of a ninja is dangerous, we risk our lives every day for our village and Kage, even more so for those that hope to lead teams, if you students can not handle the risk now as genin, then they have no business attempting to become Chuunin, as for the forest, if they are skilled and trained well, they are perfectly safe, the forest will provide them with everything they need."

One of the Konoha instructors was looking at me, I think I met her before once, Kurenai I believe her name is, "And what would you do if say an instructor or person not participating in the exams tries to harm or kill your team?" Well that was not the sort of question I was expecting from her, but if anything this should make it clear not to mess with me.

I looked at her and the glass near her shattered as the water hit the floor in the form of ice, "Why the only thing I would do is hunt down that person and kill him, then I would hunt down every relative that person has till there is not a single member of his family left." One of the men said I was bluffing, I picked a kunai and threw it at him, barely missing him as it became stuck on a nearby wall, killing a rather poisonous looking spider.

I went to pick take back my kunai and looked at the instructor from Suna, "You really need to be more careful, there are quite a few insects that are poisonous." She looked at me and thanked me while her cheeks were bright red.

"Are we done with this meeting? I have to check if my team has finished what I left them doing." The Hokage told them that it was but wanted me to stay and talk, according to him it has been quite some time since we talked. I have better things to do that chat with him, but to refuse could cause an incident and worse it would be considered rude, a bad example to my students if they hear of it.

I sat down and his secretary brought us both a cup of tea and a tea pot, I swear she is the mother of that good for nothing banshee, not many people actually have pink hair, well that is not true, some people could dye their hair that way, but why? I took the cup and began to smell it.

"I am hurt Naruto, the tea is not poisoned." He took his cup and took a sip, I dumped the contents of my glass in a nearby potted plant, and the plant began to turn brown, till it finally looked as dead as I figured. I looked at the Hokage who was still staring at the plant, "You were saying this tea was not poisoned? If the tea was not poisoned then maybe the cup was, do you honestly think I would trust anyone from this village ever again?"

He threw my cup hard enough to smash it and then he picked up the pieces, he could tell as well as I could the cup was indeed poisoned. "That blasted Danzo, he must still think that killing you will give him the chance to recover the nine tails." I was not surprised I looked at him, Danzo was not someone who I would ever trust, in many times I suspected that the mobs that once tried to do me harm were motivated or began thanks to something he said.

"I will say this once again, there is no nine tails, the Biju are parts of my soul, with the memories and experience I have gained from finding and collecting these pieces, that brat has no chance in catching me in a scheme like this."

I looked at him and began to shake my head, I could think several reasons why he would want to talk with me in private like this, and not many that I would approve of. "So there is no chance for me to get you to return to the village is there?"

I looked at him and looked at the three man hiding behind the fake wall to my right, "You think I would gladly return to the place that has wanted me dead every day since I was born? You should consider this a favor, your village wanted me gone so I granted them that part of their wish, and once I regain the missing pieces of my soul, I will grant them the last part, the Naruto you knew will be no more."

Hiruzen actually looked worried when he heard me, maybe he still thinks he can use me or somewhere deep down he actually cares, a little too little, and a little too late. "Now I have been given permission to defend myself so your ANBU should not be wasted in following me, instead they should be more concerned with Orochimaru, I think I saw him at Ichiraku a couple of hours ago."

"I sincerely don't think he came back to the village with good intentions, but then again who can blame him, if the Chuunin Exams were not happening here, I would not be anywhere near this place. Like I said I need to check on the work I left my students to do, and word to the not so wise, if you attack me like I know you want to, I will kill you in the most horrific manner possible, and yes I do mean you Jackal."

I began to walk out and saw the secretary, she looked rather shocked that I was not dead, "Your ploy was not a terrible one Haruno, but then again, you are a few hundred years too early to get the best of me, be sure to train that daughter of yours, unless you want to hold a funeral for her, take this advice in thanks for the tea."

I was ready to get out when she finally regained her composure, I could feel her standing by the door, "YOU SHOULD BE DEAD! YOU KILLED OUR MOST BELOVED HOKAGE, BETRAYED HIS VILLAGE, AND STILL YOU DARE TO GO ON LIVING! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE ALREADY!"

I turned around after I opened the door, and I looked at the pitiful woman that screamed at me, "Sorry, but I don't do requests." I walked out of the place and headed towards the Inn where my team was, I hope they finished the assignment I left them.

As I returned I saw that they indeed finished making the seal belts I had left them, I told them to prepare emergency supplies and placed one in each seal on the belt, to place them so they would be useful on a moments notice. "Instructor I gather everything went well with the meeting?"

I looked at my student and smiled, "Nothing worth mentioning, dispel your shadow clones and follow me, I am going to take you three to eat at the only decent place in this entire village, you three deserve a reward for all your hard work, unless there is something you need to tell me."

They had nothing to say and I didn't want to keep my students hungry, they will need all their strength for what they are about to face, I also plan to leave a shadow clone in the form of a bead on each of their head bands. This place may be where the Chuunin Exams are happening, but that doesn't mean I trust them. It would be smart of them to finish off my students to weaken my village, so I will not leave them unprotected.

I know I should have faith in the abilities of Kenshi, Kirara and Sango, they are my hard working students, and they will make me proud of their abilities, except that we are in a nest of vipers, alright that was an insult, to vipers that is, I am not kidding vipers are nicer than the people in the village we were at.

"I keep telling you to have constant vigilance this place is enemy territory, oh, I know you are going to say we are not at war with this village, and you would be correct, except don't count on these people of being fair or that they would not do anything immoral to make sure you three fail, our village hates this place, don't think they don't feel the same way about our village."

Sango looked at me with this worried look on her face, "And then why are we even here? I mean isn't the practice of hosting these Exams on other villages supposed to be to help breed feelings of cooperation and feelings of good will towards each other?"

I looked at them and could not help but to shake my head as I heard what she said, "Never take anything for granted, always, and I mean always look the underneath of the underneath, they might want you to feel safe and secure, so that you drop your guard and stab you in the back when you least expect it. I have complete faith in your abilities and skills, just don't ask me to feel the same about these Konoha ninja, cause the only thing I am sure of is, they want me dead."