A/N: Okay so I'm really bad with updating on time, I get it. In my defense, this chapter didn't want to be written. I scrapped it like three times before I ended up with a version I didn't feel like setting on fire.

To Queen Mo-Freakin: I hope the cooking part of this chapter doesn't disappoint. Considering that in real life I'm an abhorrent cook, it's a miracle if got any of these scenes right. LOL ;-;

To Xenocanaan: I'm glad that you're liking the story so far!

To AwkwardBlackCat: I'm honored that you actually like my story so far! Like I'm little starstruck that you're liking Clem as a character, especially when your own characters are so well written (Aracelis and Lanfen- though I need to catch up to that fic lol). I honestly didn't think I would like writing Hanzo as much as I do. I just wanted a character that would be a good friend for Clem and Hanzo somehow popped into my mind. I'm glad that Hisoka isn't out of character. Writing him makes me want to scream sometimes. He's so finicky lol ;-; I really hope that the rest of this story is as enjoyable to you and I'm excited to hear what you like about the future chapters!

To Steph557: I'm glad you're excited to see what Clem makes. Thank you for taking the time to review!

To Angel Kiss666: It makes me so happy to read such nice review like this! I'm glad you're liking Clem and the things she gets up to when unsupervised. Cx I've actually written previous chapters from Killua's point of view but ended up scrapping them because I wasn't sure where to go with them. DO NOT FRET! You'll get a chapter with his point of view soon enough, but for now I'm glad to know you're enjoying Hanzo's side of things. My top 5 HxH characters? Hmm... They would have to be Hisoka, Chrollo, Killua, Kurapika, and Gon. There's a few more I like but those five are on the very top of the list. C:

To OperaEagle IcelynLacelett: I'm amazed by all the love Clem is getting! Hanzo is really fun to write so you can rest assured that he'll pop up a lot throughout this story. Clementine's interactions with Hisoka are going to give me gray hairs. The girl needs to chill with her sass before Hisoka murders her or something. I'm happy that the story is intereting enough to make your comment fragmented. Lol cx. I might just take you up on that idea bouncing thing one of these days if I ever find myself stuck on a chapter. Either way, thank you for reading!


"I'm so close to cooking you as a side dish," Clementine tells the animal that's bundled up in her spare shirt. She stumbles over a rock and curses under breath. Her head has been throbbing ever since she pried herself off that tree. Jerky movements only make the fogginess and pain worse.

" I can't believe I got smashed into a freaking tree for you." She mutters as she does her best to drag the dead boars behind her without aggravating the wounds on her back. She bites back a pained hiss when the boar catches on a tree root and she has to yank it by the leg to get it moving again.

Clem isn't a wimp or anything- she's just not crazy enough to particularly enjoy being in pain. Especially when that pain stems from splinters digging into her flesh and it kinda feels like she's been drugged. She knows she braced her skull and brain with her Nen before crashing into the tree, it the only reason she avoided broken bones and internal bleeding. So at least she knows she doesn't have a skull fracture or actual brain damage.

Besides, a concussion is the only thing that fits this bleary and heavy feeling in her body isn't it?

Clem honestly does not know.

She's not a doctor.

The animal in her backpack, which she moved to her front, blinks a slitted eye at her.

"You're not even that cute." She tells it spitefully.

Of course, she's absolutely lying. The tiny hybrid is the cutest little shit Clem has seen. She's sure it knows it too- since it calls her bluff and lets out an adorable chirp; a sound which, if her brain didn't feel so murky, would probably have her spinning in place and singing its praise to the heavens.

Her sensing stirs as auras come into its range. Human auras.

Clem trudges into the cooking area with a scowl on her face and drenched in blood. The headless and gutted boar behind her drags across the ground as she makes her way to an empty cooking station. She's had the displeasure of discovering, first-hand, that her ability is finicky and doesn't like to light up as brightly for animals that are charging straight at her than it does for people that are standing around and doing nothing.

Her back burns at the reminder.

She senses Hanzo and the others, changing her course in that direction. She's really not in the mood for the questions she knows they'll ask, but she's just spent the past however-long-it's-been wandering the forest with a weird kind of baby bird and a pig corpses as her only companions.

Maybe a little company will do her good.

The examinees she's passed stare after her with wariness and something that feels like fear, though muddled enough that it's only after her aura has spread out around her- and against that of the people near her- that she can put a name to it. She's guessing that the blurriness, the lack of distinction between one aura and the other, comes from the fact that these examines have auras so weak that if she wants to decipher each individual one then she has to put some effort into it.

That, or it could just be the mild concussion she might have.

Either way, she pretends she doesn't hear the whispers that follow her every step-

"Isn't that the girl from earlier? She's covered in blood!"

"She's insane. I knew there was something off about her."

-until she hears a voice as smooth as a blade before it cuts open someone's throat, tangled with an aura she's been getting far too many chances to familiarize herself with.

"That color suits you."

His voice isn't the loudest; a low timber that she could have easily missed amidst the clamor of other sounds surging around her. But, the moment her tongue tastes bubble-gum every nerve in her body becomes attuned to his presence.

Good instincts, a part of her purrs in satisfaction, predators aren't meant to be ignored.

"I'm glad you think so," She retorts, pretending that her heart isn't thudding against her ribs and that she's more at ease than she really is. "I was worried you wouldn't approve."

Hisoka chuckles and his citrine eyes curve upward in mirth as if his aura hadn't stirred awake at the sight of her drenched in blood and they hadn't tried to kill each other a few a hours before.

"It's an enticing color," He murmurs and his aura flashes with bloodlust for a brief second.

She opens her mouth to add something like 'Are you sure it matches my eyes?' before the smell of charred meat rises to her nose and she's thoroughly distracted. Clementine looks past Hisoka, to the cooking stations around them and something inside her heart breaks.

On spits all over the cooking stations are the entire- uncleaned, unskinned, uncut- bodies of boars over flames too high. She tightens her fingers around the leg of her own boar defensively, as if someone will tear it from her grasp and throw into a fire just so they can watch it burn.

"Hisoka, what's going on here?" She whispers as coils of black smoke rise from the cooking stations. The meat doesn't even resemble meat anymore. She's not sure it can even be called meat at this point. "Why is everything burning?"

The magician's aura is amused. "It would seem that some people took the term 'roast pork' literally." His eyes turn to his own cooking station- where his own pork is turning a golden color. "What a waste don't you think?" He adds with a nonchalant hum that is reflected oddly in his aura.

Emotion swells in her chest and threatens to burst.

"You're all sick." Clem manages to choke out as someone's boar bursts into actual flames. "What the hell is wrong with you people!? Are you actual idiots?" Her voice grows louder the more she speaks.

From a distance, she feels Hanzo's aura perk up at the sound of her voice. Then she feels him move towards her when he hears that she's actually yelling at people and not just making conversation.

"YOU'RE TOO STUPID FOR THE OXYGEN YOU BREATHE," She shouts, eyes flashing with fury and fingers itching to start throwing knives. She meets the glares of the examinees around her with a burning stare and lips curled into not quite a snarl. "I SHOULD SET YOU ALL ON FIRE."

"YOU ALL SICKEN ME." She says to the examinees near her and adds after a second of consideration, "Not you Hisoka. Your pork doesn't look so bad."

"I'm touched to have your approval," The magician looks amused when he replies, so Clem considers it a win. She clears her throat to continue.

"BUT THE REST OF YOU ARE VILE!"

Hanzo's aura twitches with every insult and threat that comes out of her mouth. He's close enough that Clem can see his eyes widen at the blood on her clothes. The sight stalls him for a moment-

"YOU HEATHENS! YOU FUCKING ANIMALS!"

-before he jerks into motion and is beside her in the blink of an eye. His hand is over Clem's mouth immediately, muffling her curses.

Clem shoves away Hanzo's hand, gulping in an enormous breath of air before shouting, "I WILL NOT BE SILENCED!"

Hanzo slams his palm back into place over her mouth without batting an eye at her outburst.

"She'd love to stay and chat," Hanzo says cheerfully to the enraged examinees around him. Clementine squirms in his grip. It's clear she'd love to do more than chat if she has the chance- like show people to what her fists taste like. "But she really should get started on her cooking now, so I fear she doesn't have the time."

He drags her away without another word, throwing a bright, "Nice seeing you, Hisoka!" over his shoulder before quickly fleeing from the scene; Clementine fighting him the entire way.


She puts her hands on her hips and eyes the pork on the spit. The meat is turning a nice golden brown and the seasonings atop of it give the cooking pork a savory scent.

Clem nods to herself. Things are going well so far.

Besides her, Hanzo clears his throat. "Clem, I know you're upset. But don't you think making me watch over this strange creature is an… odd way for me make it up to you?"

"Hanzo," Clementine chirps brightly, "If you take a step closer to that stove, I will go out of my way to break as many of the shinobi teachings in front of you as I can."

The ninja's aura recoils in horror but Clementine doesn't feel bad for him. It's not like she's actually done anything to him. Well, anything besides shove her backpack, full of tiny animal, into his arms and do her best to salvage his boar after the ninja's horrifying attempt at cooking it.

The look Kurapika shoots her from her own kitchenette is full of wry amusement though concern curls the corners of the blonde's mouth downward. Kurapika already yelled at her for being recklessly stupid. Clementine appreciates her concern even if the lecture wasn't really needed. She doesn't plan on a repeat performance of the tree stunt.

Gon is intently staring at the boar Clem dressed for him over the fire. It's only the promise that she'll be more careful in the future if he makes sure the pork doesn't burn that has his attention so riveted on the pig. The fact that Killua is poking him in the ribs every time he loses focus helps things along.

In regards to Killua, the white-haired boy had glanced at her, narrowed his eyes, and huffed, "I killed my pig without a single drop of blood on me. You're so messy." To which Clem, being the mature adult she is, pulled down the skin of her eye and blew him a raspberry.

Leorio, on the other hand, is distressed enough that Clem sees it painted across his face clearly. He's been scowling at her since Hanzo dragged her over to their corner of the cooking area and has twitched every time that she is in clear pain. Clem isn't sure if it's because she's drenched in blood or if he developed a nervous twitch in the time she's been gone but she wishes he would stop being weird already.

"That's it!" Leorio shouts, throwing down his briefcase on the counter and rooting through it. He stomps over to her with hands full of medical supplies and face twisted in a mixture of embarrassment and disbelief. "If I let you walk around with that injury it'll just get infected and you'll be extra annoying to deal with." He sets the supplies on the counter next to her, "Sit down and tell me where you're injured."

"Eh, what?" Clem replies intelligently and blinks as the words process. She sits down. "Well, there's my back. "

Leorio's face twitches and he takes a breath to compose himself. "Yes, you moron, that much is clear. What I want to know is if there are any other places that are injured."

Clementine thinks about the question for a second before patting herself down. "I don't think anything is broken but I hit my head pretty hard earlier. There's also my hands but those were hurt before the exams." She brushes fingers across her throat gently. "There might be some bruising on my neck but not anything serious since I can still talk just fine."

"That's not how you check if there's damage," Leorio mutters and grabs a pair of scissors. "I'm going to have to cut your shirt so I really hope you have a spare shirt.

Clem hums noncommittally, "There should be one in my bag."

She keeps an eye on her slowly cooking pork and on Leorio's as well, since he's doing her the favor of fixing up her injuries. He moves to face her back and Clem has to restrain the urge to flinch when she feels him start to cut away at her tank-top. She's been too distracted to notice the pain earlier but wow, her back hurts a hell of a lot.

"By the way, I got thrown into a tree. So there might be splinters." She adds after a second of deliberation and jumps at the feeling of his breath washing over her back as he sighs.

"A goddamn tree," he curses and gets to work. "Why am I not surprised?"

Clementine is really glad that she lowered the heat for the cooking pork because picking out all the splinters from her back takes longer than she expected it to. Then again, she's not the one with a good view so she'd probably miss a few if she had done it herself. It still hurts though and she hears Leorio mutter something about having to really make sure that she doesn't get an infection; and that she got lucky that all of the blood of the boar is on her front and not her open wounds.

The boar is about done when he wipes down her back with a strong smelling disinfectant that makes Gon sneeze from a few stations away and tapes down gauze to her back. Leorio stands up and stretches before dropping to kneel in front of her.

"Let me see your hands now," He tells her, almost kindly, as if this moment between them of doctor and patient is enough to wipe away his previous anger at her staying behind to face Hisoka with him.

Clem knows that it did for her.

"Nope," Clementine carefully gets to her feet. "I'm not giving you my hands right now."

Leorio's turquoise aura swirls around him in irritation and mild hurt.

"I don't want your pork to burn," she tells him with a smile, "They're old injuries anyway, so bandaging them after we serve the examiners their food isn't a problem right?"

His- vibrant azure sky overhead, the indigo of an ocean spread against the horizon- aura settles down and Leorio quints at her suspiciously. "Yeah, whatever," He mutters and gathers up his medical supplies.

"But-" He points a finger right between her eyes and Clem nearly goes cross-eyed staring at it. "Don't think you can avoid it forever!"

"Yeah yeah, okay." Clementine laughs and turns off the fire under her pork.

"Everyone, it's time to turn off the flames." She says and bounces in excitement.

"Now comes my favorite part."

The others follow her lead and put out their fire. But it's Gon that voices the question she can see on everyone's faces.

"Ne, Clem what's your favorite part?"

Clementine strokes the back of one of the provided kitchen knives gently and grins.

"Presentation."


The neatly sliced pork is layered in a line straight across the plate and seasoned with some of the spices she always keeps handy. She carefully arranges some of the greens that Kurapika had been kind enough to share with her and drizzles a little bit of sauce made from fruits she found on the trek to the cooking station earlier.

"Fail," Menchi tells another of the examinees that set their pork in front of the Gourmet Hunter. The woman looks bored as she sits on her fluffy chair. Her chin is in her hand and she's glaring at the long line of examinees waiting to present their cooking to her.

"Fail." The Gourmet Hunter tells Hisoka fearlessly, "There is nothing that makes this dish stand out, no spices, or seasoning."

Hanzo is almost up next and after him, Gon and Killua.

While she had wanted to help them with the entire cooking and preparation portion of this phase, everyone had turned down her offer and done their best on their own. Of course, she made sure that their meat wasn't over or undercooked but besides making sure they knew they could use the spices she has with her Clem didn't do much to help with their dishes. Therefore, she's worried about how they'll do.

Kurapika seems to understand how important presentation is but Clementine can't remember seeing her season her pork at all. Clem will admit that her dish looks nice though.

"Fail." Menchi drones again and when its Hanzo's voice Clem hears asking why she feels her heart sink to her stomach. "It was incredibly salty. What did you do? Dump the entire salt shaker on it?"

Oh dear god. Salt. Is that was Hanzo was pouring onto his pork earlier?

"Fail," Menchi tells Gon. "Did you seriously just cover the entire thing with pepper?"

Christ. Is that why there was hardly any pepper when she needed some?

"Fail," Menchi says to Killua with an irritated twitch of her eye. "Shoving chocolate bars into the meat ruins the natural flavor of the pork."

Killua did what now?

Leorio steps up to the plate with a confident swagger and a little Hunter Association flag placed on his pork. Menchi looks like she's on the verge of flipping over the entire table, which Clem would fully understand if she did, and seems to give Leorio the benefit of the doubt. She tastes the pork and promptly spits it out, giving into her urge to kick away the table. "FAIL. Who in their right mind would put all these spices together? You didn't even bother to see if they'd clash and ruin the entire dish, did you?"

Why is she even surprised anymore?

At this point, Clementine is the last person in line, while Kurapika is a bit ahead of her. If there is anyone that Clem can be sure won't fuck up the simple act of using spices, it'd be the blonde. Kurapika's pork looks golden and the way she sliced the meat and stuffed fruit and greens in the spaces makes the meal appear delectable.

Menchi's face shows just how impressed she is by the presentation of the pork and when she brings some to her mouth, Clementine is praying that it tastes as good as it looks.

Of course, since the Gods love to shit on Clem and everything she loves- Menchi spits out the food and shoves the plate off the table in rage. "The pork has absolutely no flavor. What the hell did you do to make this so tasteless? FAIL."

It's a miracle that Clementine hasn't started hyperventilating yet and by the frantic beating of her heart, she has a feeling that miracle won't last very long. Her hands tremble as the line shrinks.

And when it's finally her turn to place her dish in front of Menchi, she robotically places the dish on the table in front of Buhara and Menchi, looks into the Gourmet Hunter's bright green eyes; and all the carefully prepared speeches she's come up with while waiting for her turn flee her head in the same way her soul seems to be leaving her body.

There is no space between the words she comes up with, no breath.

"IhopeyoulikewhatImadebecauseifyoudothenIcandiehappy." Clem spews out with wide eyes and shaking hands. Her aura whips around her in distress, curling around her body like a second skin and leaking into the air. Menchi's aura feels speculative and it's reflected in the sharp gleam in her gaze as she looks over the dish placed in front of her and back up at Clementine.

"Doesn't look half bad," She murmurs before leveling a glare at Kurapika. "But looks can be deceiving." Clem holds her breath as Menchi picks up the fork and sinks it into the pork that Buhara is staring at with drool dripping from his chin.

The blue haired woman doesn't immediately spit it out but Clem still feels like she's standing at the edge of a cliff with one foot off the ledge.

Suspense sucks, she thinks as Menchi's aura spikes.

"Not bad kid," the Hunter says after the silence has stretched out long enough that Clem would rather be set on fire than stand it for a second longer. "This actually tastes like food."

Clem reels back as if the words just finished punching her in the face and presses a hand to her heart. It races under her palm. She can feel the pounding of it in her ears.

The genius Gourmet Hunter Menchi just told her that her food is edible?

She must be dreaming. If she is, then she doesn't want to wake up.

"What do you think?" The Gourmet Hunter passes the plate to Buhara, who shovels most of the pork into his mouth enthusiastically. He makes a sound of agreement.

"You hear that, kid?" Menchi sticks her fork into another piece of meat. Her emerald gaze scans the impatient examinees watching the events unfolding with eyes growing in realization. Some of them have snarls of rage twisting their faces. Others, watch on with both pride and disappointment.

Menchi gestures to Clem with the fork and grins. "That means you… PASS!"

Clementine swoons, eyes bright, cheeks flushed and smile wide.

"Th-thank you," Clem chokes out. This doesn't feel real.

Around her, the combined aura of the examinees ripple with shock, and a second later a tension she hadn't noticed snaps. Voices surge up. Auras fester.

Chaos descends.


"Isn't this exciting Clem?" Gon asks her as they're hanging thousands of feet from the ground. He is freakishly unbothered by the situation they're in. Unlike Leorio over there, whose ashen parlor is making Clem a little worried that his grip is going to slip and he'll plummet to his death.

Killua snorts from Gon's other side. "It's only fun if we don't die, Gon."

She mentally agrees with him, not that she'd voice it aloud since it would make the smartass kid more insufferable. "It gets the blood pumping more than killing a few pigs does, that's for sure."

"The teachings of Ninjutsu don't mention anything about this kind of precarious situation," Hanzo muses, "But I suppose it does make good training for the arms."

"That's a very… positive outlook you have there, Hanzo." Kurapika says with exasperation in her voice. "Although Clem, I am confused as to why you decided to join us. You passed the earlier exam so there really was no need for you to take part in this challenge."

Clementine laughs nervously. Saying that she jumped off a cliff so that she could present her celebrity crush with an egg isn't something that she's willing to confess. She spits out a lock of hair that is blown into her mouth by a slight gust and clears her throat.

"Peer pressure is a hell of a drug. I didn't want to be the only one to not jump," She settles on telling them, "Also don't you think this is wonderful bonding experience?"

"You're the weirdest girl I've ever met," Killua tells her dryly. His aura tells Clem he's amused so she doesn't take what he says as an insult. It doesn't stop her from giving him a snide reply.

"I'm pretty sure I'm the only girl you've ever talked to."

Clem cackles as a flush decorates the boy's face.

"Th-That's not true!" Killua sputters and kicks a leg at her.

She swings out of the way and sticks her tongue out at the white-haired boy.

"Why are you so flustered then, huh?"

"I'm not flustered, you idiot woman!"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP SHAKING THE WEB!?" Leorio shrieks.

"It's almost time to let go," Gon cuts in with a serious voice belied by the excited spark in his eyes. His voice is almost lost in a surge of wind that floats up from below.

Around them, people let go of the webs as it starts to unstick from the canyon walls. They fall to their death with a scream.

More people let go while they wait, and wait, and wait- trusting in Gon's word.

"Now!" Gon shouts.

As one, they let go of the thread.

Then they fall.