Thranduil lay comfortably on the long chaise, the golden and red autumn gardens singing in harmony to the cool breeze all around the small gazebo. Alarya's head rested on his chest, her small body pressed against his as his arms remained loosely tied around her slim waist, his rich formal robes blanketing over her delicate figure.
She was angry with him, although only the Valar knew what he had done to deserve her anger. He had tried all day to figure out what he could have possibly done, and still had found no answer to that question. And to his further frustration, she was not explicitly shouting at him or pushing him away. No. That would only be so unlike Alarya. No, she had to communicate her anger through a cold mask of silent indifference, as if he should know what was causing her anger.
They lay in silence. They had done so for some long minutes now after he had ran out of topics to initiate a conversation- her comments only being a single word sentence in her perfectly calmed sweet voice, betraying no emotion whatsoever. He only guessed that whatever it was he had done – he had reached the conclusion that it must have been him the one her anger was directed to- could not have been as grave for she remained comfortably snuggled against him. No, indeed, more than angered she seemed to be resentful. But what had he done?
Trying to think of something else to say –something to which her answer would require more than one word- he let his eyes wonder about the small gazebo around them. It was the same gazebo in which he had first kissed her. Only remembering that incident made him feel like sending out an order to burn this gazebo. Not that he did not like it, no. It was gorgeous, and definitely one of the most peaceful places in all of his vast gardens. Nonetheless, given the current situation, he was starting to believe that this place held some kind of grudge against him and Alarya.
Of course, she remained silent, her delicate fingers toying absently with his, turning and twisting his various rings. He felt the gentle touch of her fingers stopping particularly at one specific ring on his right hand's index finger, starting to curiously pull it out before suddenly stopping, as if remembering that it was not hers to remove. Without a word – was that not exactly how the entire afternoon had gone? – he removed the ring with his own hands, placing it silently on her palm for her to examine. He knew that ring very well already, it was the King's ring, the one his father had passed down to him many years ago.
More long minutes passed, Alarya simply eying the ring semi-interested, placing it back on his finger once she got tired. Still not a word. He sighed against the top of her beautiful golden head, feeling her shift slightly to be more comfortable in his arms.
"Did you finish reading that book you were so intently reading?" He asked breaking the still silence, his voice soft, as if silently inviting her to talk to him. He was running out of questions he could possibly ask.
"Yesterday." There it was again, the one word answer. Her voice remained as flat and quiet as before…as disinterested. He felt like yelling at someone, ad at the same time kissing her and begging for forgiveness for whatever it was he had done. Had he offended her in some way?
"Did you enjoy it?" He tried again, ignoring the shortness of her voice, coaxing her to say something other than the obvious.
"Yes."
And he had failed…again. He closed his eyes in silent exasperation. Why could she not simply tell him that something was bothering her? was he supposed to guess. Not that he had not tried asking. Oh, he had tried. He had more than once asked if there was something wrong only to receive a short, flat, no.
She shifted again, turning to lie on her side, her right hand travelling to rest on his chest by her head. He rearranged his hold on her, his hand now absently tracing soothing patterns on her back. No, she was definitely not angry, he was sure now. She was resentful.
"Are you going to have dinner with me tonight?" He asked again, not settled on allowing the silence to claim them so easily once more.
"Have I not always?"
Oh, this time the answer was different. Valar, he felt like strangling someone. A question. Really? What was he supposed to answer now without sounding like an idiot. Yes? No? It was one of those cold questions that had no answer. Unable to contain himself any longer he pushed himself up on his elbows, Alarya rising to a sitting position at his movement.
"Arya, will you tell me what have I done?" He asked. His voice remained soft, completely honest, seeming to be almost pleading for an answer. Much to his surprise she seemed to be surprised by his question, as if she had not expected it all. But wasn't that what she wanted? Did she not want him to simply beg for her forgiveness for whatever it was had been his offense? Elbereth, this was so complicated!
"What?" was her only response, this time not cold or short but a single whisper entirely betraying her confusion and surprise. Had she not very clearly trying to state that she was angry with him? She had been irritated all day long, and as the day went by he had confirmed that her irritation had something to do with him.
"I have clearly done something that bothered you, but I cannot seem to figure out what. Will you please tell me so that I can properly apologize?"
Her eyes drifted to the floor, her expression unreadable for some silent moments. When her large forest green eyes lifted back up to meet his they seemed saddened, almost apologetic, but her expression not seeming any less indifferent and annoyed than it had all day long.
"You have done nothing wrong." She reassured him. Her voice was honest, entirely open and clear, and yet it lacked the reassurance in it, seeming to be almost flat again. Without another word, Alarya lay back down on the chaise, and he imitated her so that she could accommodate herself once again with her head on his chest. All right, now he was worried.
"Arya." He pleaded again, his voice nothing more than a whisper as his hand reassumed its task of tracing patterns on her small back. She did not turn to look at him, deliberately ignoring he had spoken at all.
He let out an irritated sigh, his worry quickly turning into annoyance. This however, proved to be the most stupid thing he could have thought of doing. In a second she was once again sitting up, brushing his hand away from her as her green eyes glared at him fiercely.
"Now you are angry with me?" She asked. Oh, that tone. He knew that tone. It was the tone that seemed to test him, daring him to answer her question only to let all of Mordor fall over him. This time he could not hide his utter confusion from showing on his face.
"What?" Was all he could think of saying at the moment. "Arya, I am not angry with you. Will you tell what is bothering you?" If so, she only looked more irritated than before.
"I told you there nothing wrong. Drop it." Not even a blind stupid troll would believe her voice. Why, Valar, why could she not simply tell him what on Arda had he possibly done. Patience, Elbereth, patience.
"Do not tell me there is nothing wrong." He said again, his ice blue eyes fixed on her large green ones, none of them looking away. She opened her mouth as if to speak, only to close it again, shaking her head slightly before starting to lay back down again.
"No, Alarya." He stopped her before she could once again accommodate herself against him, he too rising up to sit, both of his hands gently on her arms. "Talk to me. You are worrying me."
Again, those were apparently the wrong words to say. Her previously irritated green eyes suddenly darted to meet his, burning through his ice blue eyes with a new seething anger
"Oh, so you are worried now." She smiled as she spoke, such a threatening smile. He could hear the open sarcasm in her voice as her eyes continued to glare at him. So he had touched on whatever it was that was causing her anger, although he still could not fully understand.
"Of course I am." He answered, letting his eyes look directly on hers, not letting her look away, his voice still calmed. "Something is bothering you and I do not know what."
Again, wrong choice of words. Valar, he needed to remind himself to ask Lord Lasgaer for an instruction booklet on what to answer or say to her in these situations. Clearly he could not find the correct thing to say.
"Oh, forgive me, Your Majesty. I seemed to have forgotten that you are the only elf who requires an explanation for everything. Never mind the rest of us." She rose to her feet as she spoke, her eyes still glaring daggers at him. His irritation merged with frustration as he tried very hard to not loose his patience.
"Alary, what are you talking about?" He rose to his feet again, gently placing his hands on her arms, looking into her eyes firmly. "What have I done?"
"I told you have done nothing. Stop worrying about that." There it was. The flat voice again. This time he did not let the subject drop so easily.
"It most certainly does not look like 'nothing' to me." He pressed, his voice gentle, but firm. "What is happening?"
"That is precisely what I want to know, Thranduil. What is happening?" Her green eyes stared deeply at his. "What is happening? You know, after the first time I decided to ignore it, but this…this…thing…has happened to you twice now, twice, and I…I have no idea what is happening, and you do not tell me, nobody tells me, and I find myself just waiting for you to drop to the floor again….I…"
She drifted off, her words stammered. So her mood tied back to the attack he had suffered a couple of days ago. That was what was bothering her. A wave of relief washed over him as he heard what it was that was bothering her so much and he could not help let out a relieved chuckle, smiling now. Valar, he had been so worried thinking that something was happening to her.
This, however, was once again the wrong thing to do for her eyes once again darting to pierce his fiercely, seeming to find no joke whatsoever on her words. Valar, why had he not explained things to her earlier? He had simply forgotten, assuming –erroneously of course – that she already knew.
"Arya." He whispered again, his voice gentler now, no longer irritated or worried as his hand carefully brushed a strand of her golden hair behind her pointed ear. "Why did you not just ask me?"
Her eyes dropped to the ground, the anger suddenly vanishing from her face. When she spoke her voice was low, calmed, no longer that flat indifferent voice.
"I do not know. I…how was I going to ask you anything then?" Her large green eyes lifted to meet his, so open, so reachable. "You did not see yourself, Thranduil."
He closed her eyes as he let out a silent sigh. Why had this had to happen with her in the room? He knew it most certainly not have been a pretty sight, and wished more that anything that she had not been there to witness it. The last thing he wanted was to worry her or scare her…two things that he seemed to have managed to do already.
He sat back on the chaise, and this time she walked closer to him, choosing to sit on his lap rather than on the empty space beside him.
"I am sorry." He said as his arms wrapped around her small body, her own arms tied over his neck. "I do not know why I though you already knew. You know, if you had asked me I would have told you." He said gently, brushing yet another strand of her golden hair from her face.
Her large green eyes turned back to his, almost apologetic, a faint smile growing on her lips, no longer sarcastic or cold. "I…did not know if you would want to talk about it." She said, her voice low, as if almost ashamed of admitting that. "I did not know how to bring that up."
He let out another silent chuckle before placing a soft kiss on her cheek. "You know you can ask me anything."
"I know." She said, showing him another small smile.
"What is it that you want to know?" He asked her, her emerald eyes looking into his for a moment before she spoke.
"What happened to you?"
How to answer that question? He remembered this attack vividly. It had probably been the strongest one in long years. He did not have a lot of coherent memories of the time after it happened, only that he had felt the worst he had felt probably in his entire life. He did remember Alarya, though vaguely. He remembered her voice, but could not recall what she had been saying. He had not been able to notice anything else apart from the slipping pain inside his head.
"I guess there is not really a term to name what you saw happening to me a couple of days ago. I would call it an attack. It is not really easy to explain. Where to start? You do know that I wield old magic, do you not?"
"Yes." She answered. "Everybody knows that."
He nodded his head before continuing.
"Well, I would not precisely call it magic, but there is not a term for it really. It is more a kind of perception…a sensibility….to other powerful forces, either from nature or not. Why are you laughing? Stop laughing, Arya, I am trying to explain."
Her sweet giggles filled the gazebo, floating easily in the air, as if the wind longed to carry that sound with it wherever it went.
"I am sorry." She said, trying to stop her sweet laughter. "Continue… it is just, when you put it that way…oh, my sensible King." She laughed, mockingly caressing his cheek.
"All right, conversation is over." He narrowed his eyes at her who immediately stopped laughing.
"No, no, no, I will remain quiet, I promise. Please tell me. Continue."
He eyed her carefully, watching her forest green eyes looking at him with anticipation before he reassumed his explanation.
"Very well. I was saying, I can perceive other forces, whether from nature of not. I can sense their energy and they can sense mine. I can reach to them, call upon them to create a connection that allows me to sometimes manipulate them, at the expense of my own energy. It requires immense concentration and control of every single move. Once this connection is created, whatever it is the force I'm focusing on and my own spirit create a bond, and that is what allows me to channel my powers through that force. It is what allows me to protect the borders, to keep the darkness at bay. The longer this connection lasts, the deeper it penetrates, and if I were to loose control or let myself slip, I can allow that connection, that bond, to stop being in balance and the other force can absorb more energy than I have to give, pulling me until I cannot pull back out."
Her emerald eyes were looking at him attentively, her expressions serious, absorbing every single word he had said. He hated to have to explain all of this things, to her he would explain a thousand times if it was necessary.
"Can that…." She stopped, as if trying to find courage to voice her question. "Can that…kill you?"
That question. The only question he wished she would not have asked. He could not lie to he, no matter how much he wanted to. And yet, he did not want to tell her the truth either.
"Yes." He admitted. "But that would be a very extreme case in which I am not careful enough or in which a third person interrupts the connection abruptly." He added, trying in vain to sound somehow reassuring.
She remained silent for a moment, her green gaze dropping to the floor.
"How is that related to what happened to you the other day…the attack, you said." She asked, her emerald eyes lifting to meet his once more.
"That is where I was headed. In the same way in which I can perceive those other forces, those other presences, they can perceive me. Sometimes a very powerful presence can accidentally reach me, or sense me, pulling into my mind. Such a happening can also be on purpose, as one force tried to penetrate my defenses and into my mind. Sometimes I am able to tell who this force is, others it seems impossible. At times I can feel before hand the presence tugging into my mind and I can block it, at others, it is either too strong for me to pull away, or it catches me off guard. An attack like the case is what you witnessed."
She was silent again, and he waited patiently.
"Does that happen often?"
"There is no way to know." He answered. "If your question is if it usually happens this often, then no. Three unwarned attacks this close together is very rare."
He did not go into detail, there was no point in scaring her. Three attacks as strong as the ones he had suffered recently was most rare and worrying. Most of all, they had all been form the same force, the same presence. He remembered it vividly, the blinding pain in his head, the voice wracking his skull in the black tongue trying to penetrate all of his defenses, trying to weaken him, to make the protection around his realm fall. For the third time, the force had failed in its attempt, but he was starting to worry that if it kept trying, if the attack grew stronger, he would not be able to stand it and his barriers would break. He knew exactly from where this attacking presence had come, such information had not revealed itself until the latest attack, that it was that what worried him the most. It came from Dol Guldur. The old fortress was no longer empty.
Alarya had remained silent, simply seeming to be absorbing all of his words, looking thoughtful.
"Who knows about this?" She asked, her voice merely a whisper. He simply smiled at her, placing a soft kiss upon her cheek before answering.
"Very few elves. Doronor and Cunir, Melnor because he must, and I would say only the group of healers and servants you saw at my chambers. It is always the same group of elves for they know what to do. I would say that only Doronor, Cunir and Melnor- and you now- really know what is happening, the others have an idea but do not get details on it.
She simply nodded her head before leaning back against his chest, his arms instinctively wrapping around her body to hold her closer. She seemed thoughtful, but no longer angered. No. She was peaceful, not particularly liking the information she had received, but nonetheless he could tell that knowing was all she had desired. He could feel her calmness through their bond, mixed with a hint of worry that he absolutely wanted to make disappear.
"Arya." He said, his voice low, barely audible. She lifted her head to be able to gaze into his eyes, forest green irises so open and deep, like endless pools of swirling melted emeralds. "Thank you for being there…for staying."
His voice betrayed his honesty, barely even audible. He had not yet thanked her for staying with him for both occasions. Mostly, it was because he really did not know how to thank her. Such a thing did not come easy to him. The others usually stayed because they had to. He was their King. But once again, this small gesture of hers had come as something that felt oddly new to him, such a small thing that he did not know he had never known all of his life. It was like her pinecones, like her hand simply stroking his hair. He wished he could somehow let her know how much had her sole presence there comforted him. It was a strange sensation, one he had not felt for many long years. She was no healer, and yet presence had provided the exact kind of comfort and ease that he had needed. All he had wanted had been her company.
She offered him one of her dazzling smiles before kissing him fully on the lips. "Anytime." She said, her voice coming out so easily. "Besides, I myself had never slept more comfortably than that night."
It was his turn to laugh, remembering her delicate figure simply rolling to snuggle deeper into the covers as morning came, not wanting to wake up just yet. Valar, how much he loved her, and she had no idea. He lay back down on the chaise, Alarya coming to lie almost on top of him, propped up on her arms over his chest.
"You did not answer my previous question." He said. "Would you have dinner with me tonight?"
Her sweet laughter floated in the air, the expression on her face looking as if her answer would be obvious. "Yes, of course I will. I do every night, Thran."
His smile only grew wider at the shortened name. She rarely addressed him anything other than his full name, and when she did he felt like kissing her to no end. Unfortunately for him –well really this was never unfortunate – she seemed to know precisely what she would obtain with that shortened name, for every time she used it she would leaned closer, waiting for the kiss she knew she had won. And, as every other time, he kissed her.
"I do not mean if you will sit at my table tonight." He clarified once they broke apart. "I mean if you would sit by me, on the place that you know is yours."
Voice about their relationship had spread throughout the entire realm, but still he had not yet made an official announcement, nor had they made any kind of public appearance together. He knew it was not easy for her, and she had enjoyed the slight relief of still sitting at the long table like all the other high ranking elves and ladies, along with both of her parents, never really claiming the place to his left, which she had known that for a while now had belonged to her.
A bright smile crossed her face, that smile that could make the sun look pathetic.
"I would love to." She said and he could not stop himself from placing another kiss on her sweet lips.
For the first time, that night, the seat to his left would be occupied by the rightful person, and not merely another of his advisors of members of the court for the sake of not leaving that place empty. And yet, what he could not wait was for that place to officially belong to her for the rest of eternity.
"I love you." The words surprised him as they left his lips, as easily as if they had wanted to be said out loud for long days now. He had not yet told her that, and could clearly see that the words had caught her completely off guard in the surprised expression of her face.
"What." She breathed out, deep green eyes looking at him perplexed, as if she could not believe his words.
"I love you." He repeated. Once again the words came easily. This time, he saw her lips illuminate in a bright smile, emerald eyes sparkling with a look he had never before seen in them, a look that he wished would stay there for forever.
"I love you too." She said, and just like that, his heart flipped widely, not able to stop himself as he once again pressed his lips to hers in a deep, passionate kiss. So at last, he had found the correct choice of words.
He still found it hard to believe that Lasgaer had already given him his daughter's hand, now all he needed was to propose to her. He already had the ring. Yes. He had had the master jeweler working on that particular ring until it was absolutely perfect. Now all he needed was to somehow figure out the size of her finger to have it adjusted. But how was he going to get a grip of one of Alarya's rings in order to get the size. A new idea suddenly popped into his head and he turned to face her just as they rose from the chaise, starting to make their way back into the Palace.
"Alarya, if I were to have a little fun with one of your cousins, which of the three you I choose to pick on?" He asked her. She turned to look at him curiously, laughing lightly at the idea of him picking on one of her cousins.
"Agoron." She answered easily, moving closer to him as he wrapped an arm around her back. "Definitely Agoron. And if you were to scare him a little, I would enjoy that very much."
So Agoron it was. Yes. That poor elf had no idea what kind of mission he was going to ask of him…
So here is chapter 11! Again, sorry for the wait! I hope this time it did not feel that long! I hope you enjoy this chapter! And please let me know what you think! I enjoy all of your comments!
Also, again, thank you soo much to those of you who reviewed my latest chapter! You are the best! Mary Elrondile, Jibril-Kadamon, Kirschflower, Nowa1, AmazingWriter123, Tincalad, R2-D2106, and Martine9295.
Love,
Elena
