My thanks have to go to Judy, as her review reminded me to put the first bit in - otherwise I would have gone rushing off in another direction!!
Enjoy everyone!
Ianto slammed himself down on the sofa, not the cosiest place in the world but it was the only place he could think of where Jack wouldn't completely have the upper hand. Jack wandered over much more slowly and sat at the opposite end, his coat over his knees, Ianto stared directly ahead.
This was so 21st century male thought Jack, no he corrected himself even in another 30 centuries would the less fair of the species ever open up voluntarily. Ianto looked moodily into thin air, his brain was actually racing with questions but all of them seemed to be twee or flippant and sarcasm would not get the answers he needed. As was always the case in situations like this they both started to speak at once.
"Do I have to read your mind?"
"Jack I don't want to pry but…"
They laughed nervously and Jack held out an expansive hand to allow Ianto to go ahead.
"I just so little about you, I could write it all on the back of a postage stamp and you know everything about me, it just seems a bit lopsided in a relationship." He paused, "If this is a relationship."
Jack scooted a little closer but still didn't touch Ianto.
"You don't want to know most of it." He looked directly at Ianto, "My past is chequered, I've been a Time Agent, a con man, a freelancer, a torturer, I don't want to remember most of that and I certainly don't want to burden you with all that."
Ianto sat silently digesting what Jack had said, but his mind kept telling him it didn't matter he still needed to know. He reached over and took Jacks hand.
"I don't care, do you think I am proud of my recent history? I don't want to judge you I want to be able to understand you."
"I've buried a lot of it, the bad parts that make me want to lock myself in the vaults, the good bits that make me want to cry. I can't even remember my family."
Jack looked the saddest Ianto had ever seen him, it made him want to take him in his arms and just leave well alone but he knew that would only make it all worse in the end.
"Our actions and memories make us who we are Jack, you can't go changing the past you keep telling us that and burying things can't help either, just think of me and Lisa by hiding my feelings I nearly killed us all."
"It wasn't nearly for me" he snorted with a slight grin to let Ianto know he wasn't angry.
"Exactly Jack, look at today for instance, by hiding things you mixed them all together and ended up with the wrong conclusion. How far would you have gone if I hadn't read those files?"
Jack sat back and hung his head back over the low back of the couch, the bones snapping back into place with a grating sound that made Ianto wince. For one so young he really did have wisdom beyond his years.
"I promise not to tell anyone and I also promise not to judge." Said Ianto quietly squeezing Jacks hand, which he would swear was shaking slightly.
Sometimes it would be good just to let it all out and share things with someone, just exactly what it felt like to be dragged back kicking and screaming into life but Jack was scared it was just too much to burden anyone else with. Just like he didn't want to explore the reason he hid some of his past even from himself, he was a fixed point in time things revolved around him. He was wrong, the Doctor had told him that. The thought that had been racing round in his head most of the afternoon and early evening was knocking to be heard, he had sat listening to Jenny babble on about all her different lives and thought of all the stories he could tell he had pinched himself until his leg was bruised and he couldn't stop himself from finishing the Artidium story. That had been a good time, the next year was a very bad time. Jack lifted himself back to a sitting position and then unexpectedly curled up against Ianto like a kid trying to forget a nightmare. The Welshman pulled him in tight and shushed him like a baby as he stroked his hair and then pulled his coat over him. Ianto rested his cheek on top of Jacks head and whispered soothing nonsense in Welsh at him until he felt some of the tension leave his body.
"Start at the beginning Jack, leave out the painful bits for now. We'll get through this together."
There was silence and Ianto wondered if Jack was asleep,
"Boshane was beautiful, warm sandy, peaceful except the days they flew over, and mostly they did pass over…"
Gwen woke up the next morning with a banging headache, no the banging was coming from the kitchen. She froze momentarily and then sat bolt upright, nearly breaking Rhys arm that was thrown over her in a sort of drunken hug.
"What you doing?" asked Rhys as Gwen started riffling through her bag.
"Shhhhh." She said putting a finger on his lips and pointing at the door.
Rhys pulled his head back a bit and looked at the clock before looking at the wide eyed Gwen staring intently at the closed door. He made a hissing noise and sat up.
"Don't you remember last night?" he said slightly loudly because that was what happened when he had a hangover.
"Rhys there is someone out there." She whispered dramatically.
"Your mate, god what was her name, Look how much did you have to drink last night?"
Gwen rolled her eyes in concentration for a nano second and the memories of the conversation flooded back to her, she stopped fiddling and sagged the adrenalin that had masked the morning-after head was dissipating. Rhys got out of bed and flung the curtains wide, the bright light making them both shield their eyes.
"She better be making bacon and eggs." Said Rhys padding over to the doorway, his hand was on the handle before Gwens brain caught up with her visual cortex.
"Stop!" she shouted wincing at the noise, Rhys looked at her
"We're late enough as it is." He replied infuriated, Gwen looked at the clock and saw it was nearly 9am.
"Just put some clothes on before you go out there eh love."
Breakfast wasn't bacon and eggs but Jenny had prepared coffee when Rhys had pointed out the jar and had made him toast so he could run out the door, muttering about Danish pastries and the Maccy Ds on the corner of the estate. Gwen had showered in the hope of driving the fuzz out of her brain, but wasn't spectacularly successful. She came back into the living room drying her hair with a towel to find Jenny standing with the bags from yesterday packed and ready to go.
"Well I'll be off too, many thanks for putting me up last night." She said extending her hand.
"Oh, you don't have to go yet do you, look I'll give you a lift wherever you're going if you like."
"You left your car at the office." Jenny pointed out handing over a cup of coffee. Gwen took it and took a sip.
"Oh yes, I forgot, look are you alright after last nights session?"
"I'll be fine Gwen, I've done all this before remember." She took a deep breath in, "Clean break start again, reinvent and move on."
Gwen nodded and wished she hadn't, she could almost hear her own thought processes even though the blood was swishing through her ears.
"Look take my number, at least let me know you're alright even if you can't tell me where you are."
In the end they had shared a cab as far as the train station where Jenny had got out with a last hug from Gwen and a promise to call from Jenny. She knew she didn't mean it but thought it would mean she might get way sooner. She had waved as the taxi had disappeared and gone to walk in the station waiting in the impressive ticket hall until she thought that Gwen had gone completely and turned round to get into town. Her head was still fuzzy and she really felt like coffee which was so human and so unlike her, however a quick check of her pockets reminded her she hadn't expected to be doing this so had no money on her at all and no cards with which to get any. She could have screamed at her own lack of planning, she had talked to Tosh about rift activity and found out that while it was more frequent than the 50s it was still unpredictable and could be days between. Besides she was over the whole ending it thing. She stopped walking, partly because she had no idea where she was and also because it was difficult thinking and walking with a head like this. Money, that had to be her top priority, no money and she was stuck in Cardiff for the foreseeable future. The laughable thing was that she was in no way poor, in fact she could probably buy and sell most of Cardiff but as it was mainly held in a nice little facility in Switzerland it wasn't much help.
"Think" she said out loud and getting a funny look from a passer by. She needed to make a phone call, but she didn't even have a coin to use. Not a problem, reverse charge it she thought trying to remember if she knew a reverse charge number. This wasn't her normal thinking process it was so slow and painful, perhaps she should have taken up the offer of a hotel and recovered for a few days. She stumbled into a phone box and stabbed at the phone until the operator answered and realised that the number of her banker, which was seared on her brain like her own name, wasn't there. She stuttered a few times and the operator got shirty hanging up. Jenny leant back against the cooling glass and rummaged in her bag – she knew there was pen in there somewhere and finding it she picked one of the cards advertising ladies services and turned it over and tried to reconstruct the number from her addled brain.
Back in the Hub Gwen had gratefully taken the mug of coffee Ianto had proffered as soon as she came through the cog. Strong with cream, greatest hangover cure in the world he often said, Gwen no longer asked how he knew she was hungover or how in fact he had been ready with the mug when she entered. She took a great sniff of the brew and sank into her chair hoping that in two minutes time she would be able to face the flickering computer screen.
"Gwen I want the expenses sheet on my desk in an hour" shouted Jack, not a little louder than normal, from the gantry, she looked up with a start to find him grinning above her.
"You are a slave driver Jack Harkness, I will take this up with my union." She said putting the mug down and tapping in her password.
"I count unions in the same breath as Weevils and you know what we do with them." Said Jack smiling.
He had to admit it sharing did feel good, not that he has shared that much with Ianto. Sure he had given him the edited version of what he wanted to remember and Ianto had listened until he had decided to stop, Ianto hadn't pushed for more details because he recognised the step forward and didn't want to spoil the progress. As a consequence Jack felt more alive today than he had done in a long time and was bouncing with energy and annoying everyone with his chipper attitude. Tosh and Owen had come in together and been subjected to ten minutes of innuendo and suggestion till Owen had snapped back and started about Ianto. In retaliation Jack had thrown work at them till they groaned under the weight of files and Owen had retreated to the autopsy bay, Tosh took the files and smiled serenely – seething inwardly.
The Hub was quiet as everyone worked, Tosh had come back from looking something up in the achieve and started to chat with Gwen, quickly getting round to the shoes, Tosh smiled wondering how she could be talking about something so inconsequential while working on a paper about the effects of a massive rift flare on Cardiff – not pretty. Gwen finished off the expenses claim and looked at the eye watering figure at the bottom, Jenny hadn't wanted half the stuff but Gwen kept claiming that she looked to good not to have it. Not that cash flow was a problem for Torchwood anyway just Jack liked to pretend that there was some reason to do paperwork like a real office. Most of it went straight into the furnace.
She handed the paperwork over like some naughty school girl and waited for the funny crack or snort of derision, but neither came.
"You going to stand there all day or are you going to sit down?" asked Jack without looking up, adding the paper to his out tray without even looking at it. "Did she get to a hotel ok last night?" he asked looking at her.
"Well no, she stayed at our flat, we had a bit of a session." She said sheepishly.
"You don't say." He said snorting and crossing his arms across his chest. "What more did you find out?"
"Well we didn't really talk about that."
"Oh come on you are telling me that Gwen Cooper did not find anything gossip worthy after a full night of interrogation."
Gwen picked a pencil off the corner of the desk and wangged it at Jacks head, the twisting missile missing him by mere millimetres.
"Oi that could have hit me and scarred me for life, destroying my matinee idol looks." Said Jack flashing the grin that melted hearts throughout 17 galaxies and more time zones than was legal. They dissolved into giggles. Finally when they both regained control Gwen leant forward onto the desk.
"I did learn one thing that I used my police powers of deduction to add to previous information and draw a conclusion." She said mysteriously. Jack drew closer.
"She doesn't know who sprung her from the vaults, but she knows it was an inside job."
Jack raised and eyebrow
"And?"
"Well a few months ago during a rather heated game of truth or dare you did admit to being suspended after leading a break out which felt noble for the first few weeks but less noble when you couldn't afford the rent and couldn't get a job because you didn't exist in the employment records." Jack looked at her
"I did work in the cannery – strictly off the books and boy if I never have to smell fish guts again." He gagged at the thought of it, and as normal when he hadn't been looking for trouble it had found him in the form of alien fish in the mix and had luckily got him back in the Torchwood good books.
Gwen let the two thoughts collide together in Jacks head and then pushed her chair back a bit,
"You see the missing few pages at the end of the file might have been the investigation into the break out, tosh recons the tear was fairly recent – no dust on the edges you see. Funny how things seem to fit together." She said raising an eyebrow.
"I see how with brains like that Cardiffs finest catch so many of the wrong criminals." He said, then realising that she could be offering an olive branch he murmured "Could be I suppose, I wasn't alone that night you know – I just took the fall because I knew Torchwood would still need me. But I did change when I saw what they were doing down there. It all disappeared to One by the time they reinstated me." He took a deep breath in and it momentarily entered his head that Ianto and now Gwen was too much of a coincidence but he trusted Ianto and well Gwen was Gwen and after all that was why he employed her.
Jack looked at Gwen and realised she was gearing up for a friendly interrogation session and that would be too much.
"You know what" said Jack standing for dramatic effect "We need a team building day, howd'ya fancy a bit of sea, sand and…" Gwen put her hand up to stop him before he got any further.
"What? I was about to suggest a bag of chips covered in salt and vinegar and oddles of tomato ketchup." He smiled again.
"You know Jack Harkness I have never known anyone make Barry sound so inviting, even if you are changing the subject. Last one to the SUV has to carry the candy floss." She said leaping to her feet, hangover gone. Jack went to grab her and missed, following her out into the metal landing shouting to everyone to get to the SUV immediately while Gwen giggled down the stairs. Tosh looked at the screens perplexed as to the emergency, Owen gratefully took the excuse to lay down his equipment and Ianto stood quietly in the shadows for a few seconds taking in the difference in Jack when he was happy before entering the Hub and running to the car like everyone else.
