~ Chapter 10 ~
When the door opened and out walked Edward, Jacob felt like groaning because the last thing he wanted was to see or talk to the vampire. But Edward didn't seem to share his thoughts.
Stubbornly Jacob stared straight ahead with his arms crossed over his chest. Edward looked at him for a moment before sitting down next to him.
"I know I screwed up-"
A snort was his only reward for his confession.
"And I want to apologize for it."
It didn't give him a snort this time so he took is as courage to continue.
"I know I screw up when it matters-"
Another snort.
"And I guess I deserve your attitude."
Jacob still refused to look at the vampire.
"Okay, so I don't know what to say to you."
"That's something new. You always had something to say when it came to Bella."
Edward lowered his head and looked at his hands. "Yes." he didn't have the strength to think too deeply on Bella. "I still love her. If it weren't for you then I would marry her in a week."
"So what's stopping you?" Jacob questioned. "You didn't have a problem with stepping over people before. As I recall you had no problem rubbing it in my face."
"I never rubbed my marriage in your face."
"Oh, right. That hasn't happened yet." Jacob fell silent once more.
Edward mulled over his next question. "How do you feel?"
"Feel about what?" he so didn't want to have this chat.
"About Bella?" Edward asked. "You did have a crush on her for a long time."
"Yeah, well, I grew out of it." The shifter confessed. "Not much to do when she married your ass and had your kid. She nearly died for it, and then she was turned into one of your people." Jacob shook his head and leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees. "I never had a chance with her even if you were dead. No pun intended."
Awkward silence filled the air and all Jacob wanted was for the leech to go away. Of course didn't he have that luck.
"Did you... find... anyone else? After Bella I mean." Edward looked through the corner of his amber eyes at Jacob who still wouldn't look at him. He could faintly read that if the shifter did, then he would most likely clock him. Not that Edward felt he would stop him if he tried to hit him again.
With a new snort Jacob shook his head in disbelief. "No, I didn't find anyone after Bella. I've spent all my life as a virgin." Now Jacob looked at Edward. "Like you did until Bella." he sneered.
"So you ne-"
"Of course I found someone, asshole. Although I never found my imprint it didn't stop me from having fuck buddies." If Edward could have blushed he would have at those words. "Do you want to know what we did too, because I tell you... It would be very pornographic."
Edward tried to look at anything except Jacob. He tried to block out the thoughts of all the things the shifter had done in bed. And outside bed. "No. I don't need to know that so would you please..." he tried to say the words with his hand because he couldn't find the words. "please, stop think about it."
"What leech? Too much for you? Oh, that's right. You haven't done Bella yet so that means your still a virgin." He smacked his lips in fake understanding. "That's too bad. But look at this way." Jacob looked like he was searching for the right words before he said, "At least you haven't fucked everyone over yet."
"Just shut up." Edward hissed. He sensed the reaction his vampire nature had on the shifters in La Push. If he hadn't been under the invitation of the Black family he would have to run for it. But strangely, Jacob who sat beside him didn't react at all to his hissing.
Edward's chest rose in agitation but the look that Jacob gave him was even more unsettling.
"How does it feel to be alive?" Jacob stood up next to Edward. "Better than playing dead like you've done for all your undead life." He walked over to stand in the open area in front of the house. "It hurts. It's painful. It's full of things you don't want to hear. Well, news flash leech." He turned to face Edward, the pale light of the moon high-lighted the older Jacob. Taking Edward's breath away by the tragedy he was portraying. "That's what life is like. You've just been busy running away from it since you turned vampire. If it hurts, hit it. If it bites you in the butt, bite it back. If you can't have what you want, then find something else to fill the hole inside. Life isn't over just because you lost one person."
Jacob looked at Edward where he stood in the shadow of the house, the light of the moon making a path to him.
"If you have something to say then speak, leech. Not all of us have your gift of knowing every rotten thought others have about you. But it beats having to doubt and guess what they think about you. The way you felt about Bella when you first met her... that's how everyone else feels for their whole life. Unless the other opens their mouth and actually speak, we have no idea if they want to kick us in the nuts or kiss us."
The vampire felt his feet lead him out into the opening and he walked over to stand a few feet from Jacob. He watched the shifter's face for a minute before he opened his mouth.
"Do you have to be so vulgar when you speak?"
Jacob looked Edward from head to toe before the ghost of a smile touched his lips. "Only when I know it will get on your old prissy nerves."
"There's nothing wrong with being old fashioned. All you teenagers think only about how you have to do everything before you're of age."
"Says the 100-year old virgin. If I can drink, fight, and have sex then I'm not complaining."
"I rather be a virgin than a whore."
"Hey," Jacob got his attention. "If you want to blow me all you need to do is ask."
A thought came into Edward's head and he wanted to gag.
"Ugh. Carlisle? Seriously?" He wanted to burn the picture away from his mind.
Jacob raised his hands as if stating something obvious. "I tried, but your dad is more of a tight ass that you are. With so few of us left in a tight spot, and with a vampire no less, there's no wonder there are offers. But don't worry." the look of disgust on Edward's face made him want to assure his virgin mind. "All I did was act as a blood bank. We never touched each other in any other way."
"That you could even think about it." Edward took a step back.
"Don't judge the innocent. If it's any comfort, your dad died preserving his wife's honor. You got to admire that in the old man." There was true admiration in Jacob's voice.
The shifter looked up into the light of the moon, letting it wash over his face with it's pale color.
"All that ever happened between us was for survival and comfort." his voice sounded aged now. So much older than his appearance gave way for.
Edward stood still. Not wanting to disturb the creature standing in front of him, washing in the moon. While he was completely unaware of being watched from the house, Edward felt his heart start to ache as he watched Jacob.
TBC
