~Lizzy~
"Fine. You can come."
I blink in surprise.
Just like that?
"Yes. Well. I plan to." I resist the urge to look back at the graveyard at my back. "How soon can we leave?"
"Soon," he promises. "You need to call Shiro first."
"But-" He cuts me off with a wave of his hand. Keith reaches into his jacket's pocket an takes out his communicator.
"I know just how you're serious about this but he doesn't. Lizzy, you are going to have to tell him the truth."
Anything to get away from here.
"I will." His eyes study mine and I force myself to maintain eye contact. He finally nods and presses button. After a few seconds Shiro's face appears on the screen.
"Keith." He starts to say but then he sees me. "Lizzy, how are you holding up?"
Terrible. The worst fucking thing has happened to me and that's saying a lot.
I shrug. "I'm peachy." My heart squeezes. I used to say that to my mom all the times she asked how school went. I clear my throat and focus on the problem at hand. "Shiro, I would like, if you and the others allow it, to go back with you to Arus."
He looks like he already knew what I was going to say. I know that everything rests on his decision and I try not to scream at the anxiety as he takes a few seconds to gather his thoughts.
"Lizzy, you do understand that this is dangerous. We are at constant war with the Galra-your abductors. The life you will be entering is not a peaceful one." I bite my tongue to keep from interrupting him. "Listen, I understand that your life may on Earth may seem impossible right now but that doesn't mean that it isn't something you could have. I want you to think, to really think about this question. Can you honestly imagine living on Earth right now?"
I force myself to think deeply. But I already know what I'm going to say.
"No. I can't live here."
Through the screen Shiro nods.
"Okay. I have talked to Allura and Coran about it and she agrees. It's very dangerous. We are at war. But it's up to you." I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.
"Thank you. I won't let you down, I promise."
"I know you won't, kiddo." Suddenly I see why everyone on the team seems to have such great respect for Shiro. He's more than a great fighter or leader. He's...good.
"I know you may not be in the mood but Hank, Lance, and Pidge are going to some stores in an hour or so to get some provisions. This would be a great time to buy new clothes or supplies from Earth you won't find anywhere else."
"A shopping trip?" The words feel foreign in my mouth. Besides me Keith shifts.
"Shiro, I don't think this will be the best time for Lizzy to go shopping-"
"No, no it's okay." I tell him. "I'll go."
Keith looks at me. "Are you sure."
"I am."
Despite wanting to leave here as soon as possible, I know we won't leave until the others do. The last thing I want to do is be surrounded by my thoughts in the middle of the cemetery my parents are buried in.
"Well," Shiro says. "In any case, don't worry about the money, we've got that covered. Keith, watch out for Lance don't let him get into trouble." Keith looks like he's about to protest but he nods anyway. "And take care, both of you. I'll see you in a while. If any problem arises, call me."
"We will," Keith says. Shiro looks satisfied and disconnects the call. I stare at the black screen unable to wrap my head around the idea that technology-even human technology- has gone so far since my time. After a few seconds, I give the device back to Kieth and I feel the question he's about to ask. Are you okay? I meet his eyes and force a smile before he has a chance to open his mouth.
"Let's go?"
It's late morning on a Tuesday. Besides the shopkeepers and the sparse people milling around, it's pretty empty. But it still feels like the world's most claustrophobic place. My eyes dart around everywhere and it takes me a while to realize that I'm waiting for an attack.
"Those are cool shoes." I tell Keith as I nod vaguely at a shoe store. "They are real...shoey"
The poor boy looks so confused for a second."Are you sure you're-"
"Oh look! There they are." I sigh in relief as I take in the sight of the other Paladins. Pidge is wandering around pulling a Target shopping cart full of electronics behind her. Lance and Hunk are further back looking into a store and nodding excitedly. Pidge and the rest catches up with us.
"So I heard you were staying with us." I ignore the way Lance's eyebrows wiggle and I nod.
"Here," Lance's face suddenly lights up. He skips up to me, grabs my wrist and starts pulling me away. "Hunk, you've gotta help me choose some clothes for her."
"I have clothes." I protest.
"You're going to need more than the clothes on your back if you're going to go with us." He points out. I finally relent, only because I can't face Keith's pitying eyes anymore. I need to be with someone who doesn't know that my parents...
"Fine. Okay, let's go." Lance pumps his fists in the air and lets go of my wrist. I follow him and try not to look back at Keith.
"What store should we go to Hunk?" He asks his friend. Before Hunk can even respond, Lance swirls around and grins. "Where do you want to go? It must have been months since you've been to an actual store."
If I'm going to be living with all of them, they might as well know the truth.
"Actually it's been thirty-six years."
They freeze. Hunk is the first to get it and soon that same pity fills his eyes. Lance is still looking at me like I made a joke.
"You mean..." Hunk starts. I avoid Hunk's eyes to not look at the pity in them.
"Yes, my parents are dead. And my friends all have children of their own." I say calmly but inside I'm feeling anything but that.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"
I nod because I don't trust my voice not to crack. Next to me, it finally dawns on Lance.
"Wait. You mean... You're from the past. How?..." I open my mouth to speak but the damn words won't come out.
"Lizzy!" Pidge catches up to us as she pulls the shopping cart behind her. "Let's go look at the radios. I need them to make this transmitter that I've been working on." She pulls me away from them and squeezes my arm reassuringly. "Hunk," she calls out without turning back. "Just buy her the necessary clothes. Don't let Lance choose them."
I hear Lance protest but Hunk agrees anyway.
"It looked like you needed help." She says once we're out of earshot. "I heard about your parents. I'm really sorry. I understand what it's like to have your family taken from you."
I look at her and I see pity in her eyes. But also understanding. It transforms the pity into compassion-suddenly, I feel a flood of warmth towards her.
"Thank you.I...that means a lot." That's all I can say because I feel if I even say another word on the subject, I will start sobbing in the middle of the mall. Thankfully, she seems to understand this and nods.
"You're going to love it in Arus." She says as we enter an electronic store. "I'm personally not that much of an outdoor girl myself but it's really pretty. I mean, sure we have attacks on the base but that's to be expected."
We head towards the antique section of the store, passing futuristic devices on the way. I swallow the urge to ask Pidge what every little thing does. We reach the antique part and I find that basically everything that I had from Before is here.
"Aww come on. Is the iPhone 7 really that antique?" She examines the device I'm pointing to.
"Yeah, the iPhone company went out of business like ten years ago."
"Wow."
"What are the transmitters for?" I ask as she shifts through the antique radios. She smiles, happy that someone is taking an interest in her tinkering.
"I want to hook up the lions with emergency transmitters. Just in case the transmitters in the lions stop working-believe it or not, it's happened a few times before."
"You could do that? Construct a transmitter from old radios?" I ask in amazement. Pidge beams and nods excitedly. She begins to explain exactly how she plans to do it in rapid fire electronic jargon and I try my best to keep up. When she finishes I have a vague sense that I understood it. My gaze wonders and lands on a television set. I remember what Keith told me and that sparks an idea and for the first time that day, I feel excited.
"Hey Pidge, I have an idea..."
As I talk, her smiles grows wider and wider.
Two hours later, we emerge from a movie store with a USB type device full of thousands of movie titles. Turns out in the future, one doesn't need to buy the whole DVD. They just need to download it from a store. The shopping cart has a new addition- a television-or at least what passes for a television. The device looks like a simple a five foot stick but the screen is a hologram.
It turns out that Pidge knows a way to connect the TV to the castle's power source. I briefly wonder what Keith's reaction might be. I choose all the "classics" that I think they would like and in turn, Pidge choose all the "modern" movies that came out after I disappeared.
"You need to catch up on your culture." She told me as she added movie after movie. "And that includes watching all the movies. And shows."
Oddly enough, that statement didn't hurt as much as it should. I feel a wave of guilt as I realize that I'm adapting to all this quicker than I should.
"Lizzy," Pidge starts as we start to head back to out previously arranged meeting spot. "Are you sure you want to go to Altea?"
"I'm sure."
"Why?" She asks genuinely curious.
"I just...I can't stay here. I feel out of touch with everything- like everyone is living their own life but I'm still stuck in the past. I feel..like a ghost."
I feel relieved to finally say aloud those words and thankfully she nods. She understands. That alone- knowing that I have a friend in the world- is enough to make things okay. Not everything, it will be a long time for everything to be okay,if ever; but enough so that the world does not seem so lonely anymore.
