The Bigger Problem


"Gingerbread Rush!" Lady Agnes shouts and flies down at him, swords crossed in an attempt to cut off his head. Zoro grits his teeth and raises his arms so that Hansel and Gretal ring against his manacles. Lady Agnes snarls, her impressive weight sending him skidding back a few feet as she leans into him. She falls with grace and pivots.

"Sugarcane Spin!" she says and starts twirling, fast, coming at him like some sort of demonic top. Zoro backs away, slipping for a split second on an uneven patch of ground and feeling the whisper of the sword slide over his skin. Just a cut, nothing major. His yukata suffers more damage than he does, practically falling off his shoulder. She's good for a normal person and her desire to protect her town gives her an added strength. She is out of practice, though, leaving at least a dozen openings even in her strongest attacks.

But Zoro just can't bring himself to deck the old lady. She is fighting for her town, even though he doesn't want to have anything the hell to do with it. She doesn't even want to be hurt in doing it which is why she's going all out, he can tell and winning that easily—it wouldn't be a win. It would be like…shoving a little kid off a swing. She stops, panting, and Zoro looks away from her long enough to see the other townspeople approaching his still prone nakama. It's only been a minute or so, and at least Chopper is still coughing and Franky has started to, as well, but Luffy is too still. He'd better not be sleeping.

Zoro sends his best glare at the villagers, promising the town is going to have a sudden rash of concussions and other unpleasant things if they don't back off, and they scatter back in a clump. Usopp and Robin still haven't come out of the green haze of smoke that's coming out of the door that one of the townsman is reaching out too close.

"You leave that door alone!" Zoro snaps at him and the man scrabbles back. Zoro sees the blade swinging for his neck out of the corner of his eye and dodges away from it and behind her, having to stand sideways so that he can keep an eye both on her and the townspeople below. Lady Agnes is panting, clutching her swords and glaring at him. She seems tired out but he knows she's preparing herself to fight twice as hard.

"Take care of the others!" Lady Agnes snaps, striking her swords together so that they clash and spark. Then she does it again. A third time. Not to encourage them, Zoro realizes, but in preparing for an attack. In the sparks of light he sees something like liquid shining along the blade. Her eyes narrow.

"I'll take care of him," she says. "Witch in the Oven!" She spits and clashes her swords and a fireball whips off them and comes flying straight him. Oh shit. Zoro jerks himself away from it just in time and straight into her whirling sugarcane attack which is driving him downhill and away from his nakama who are being slowly approached by the villagers once more. Alright. Enough is enough. Zoro briefly considers picking up Lady Agnes by the collar and throwing her like a cannonball into a knot of villagers when Chopper stirs and sits up, hacking a second or two before bolting to his feet.

"Ahh! What's going on?!" he cries.

"Ahh the monster is awake!" one of the villagers cry and they all stumble back a step.

"I'm a rein" cough "deer!"

"Hurry up and die!" Lady Agnes snaps, thrusting at him. Zoro dodges that strike and the other one, too. The thrusts are coming like punches. Not really a technique but she could refine it into one. Still, enough is enough and even though he won't throw her he can at least disarm her…which would be easier now that he could look away from the others for a few minutes.

"Nevermind, men," says one of the townspeople. "Get him!"

"B…but wait! I know you! You're Carvel-san! Y…you said if we let you sp…spray us it should be okay!"

"Things change, monster-chan," says a man with a grave voice. "I'm sorry."

Lady Agnes thrusts long, Zoro spins from it, getting behind her and grabbing her wrist, keeping a firm grip on her but trying not to bruise. She glowers at him.

"B…but we were go…gonna help!" Chopper says. And Zoro can see the townspeople are close. Too close. Chopper was still in Brain Point. Careless and stupid, just when they can't afford it.

"Shut up, Chopper. They aren't interested in talking," Zoro says, seeing Lady Agnes thrust out underneath her arm with her other hand. Zoro avoids that blade, too, letting it taste a trickle of blood from his side so that he can grab Lady Agnes other wrist without hurting her. Chopper looks at him, coughing a few times and the townspeople rush at once. It's almost too late but Chopper pops up into Heavy Point, knocking townspeople away with broad sweeps of his hands.

"Pleasant as this is, cabin boy, you can't hold me forever," Lady Agnes says, dryly. "I heard you were supposed to be some sort of swordsman. Is this how you fight?"

"This isn't a fight, it's an execution," Zoro says. A stupid one. He wants to say something that would get her to see that she should be attacking those Lady Pirates. To get her on their side before anyone gets hurt that doesn't need to. But he isn't Luffy and there is too much else to think about right now. Like the fact that some of those guys have swords, damnit, and why isn't Luffy moving and where the hell are Usopp and Robin?

"It is what it has to be," says Lady Agnes. "You will die here. If not by my hands then others." She drops Hansel, the second sword he stopped and he can feel it fall past his leg and hit the ground. But her body is still tense. She's still planning an attack. But what? With one sword? She flexes her fingers and suddenly Zoro knows. That damned chackra dance. And he's put himself right in her range. If he lets go he might be able to get away but if she numbs him only a little.

"Man, what the hell kinda perfume was that?" Franky says and Zoro is glad to hear it, even if he's coughing like hell too. "I feel like I've been—woah. Hey, hey, what's going on here? If you guys wanted to party like this you shoulda said something earlier."

"Aah, no pants man is awake, too!" says one of the townspeople. Lady Agnes hardens her jaw.

"It doesn't matter how many of your nakama wake up, we're still going to kill you."

A pistol barks followed by Chopper yelps, Zoro's hands tighten just a little before he forces them to relax. It will be fine. Chopper will be fine. He can't let himself lose focus. This is about control. About not cutting the paper even though he can. Luffy wouldn't have given himself up if he wanted Zoro to hurt any of these people.

"Lucky I can't really feel that, pinhead," Franky says and there is the creak of something breaking. "And you're really lucky I've been having a good week, but if you don't cut it out I might just go a little crazy." Someone screams and goes flying down the road before landing hard in the dirt. Lady Agnes head twitches toward the sound but she doesn't relax a bit.

There is a quiet tapping sound. Feet. Someone is running up the hill. Zoro looks up and sees Sundae appear around the curve of the hill road, clutching his swords tied up in a black cloth. She is going pretty fast too, which is impressive considering the weapons are almost as big as she is. She slows at what she sees, her chest heaving and shouts:

"Stop it! What are you doing? Those are Zoro-san's nakama, right? You can't hurt them!"

"Sundae-chan," says a few of the men. The sound of fighting stops.

"Sundae, get away from here!" says Lady Agnes wrenching to look at the girl. Zoro uses the moment to push himself out of range of her fingers. Lady Agnes curses and lunges toward him but stops as Sundae comes running up to them, still holding the swords.

"Mama, don't!" Sundae says. Lady Agnes throws out her arm to bar her way.

"Whose the little sis?" Franky says.

"I don't know,"Chopper says. "I haven't seen her before."

"I bought your swords, Zoro-san," Sundae says, trying to duck under Lady Agnes' arm and squawks when the woman grabs the back of her shirt.

"Stop playing around, Sundae," Lady Agnes says, giving the girl a little shake. "These are pirates. Thieves. Murderers. Their lives belong to Lady Labal."

"No, Mama. We aren't pirates or thieves or murderers and our lives belong to that stupid pirate lady, too!" Sundae says, struggling. "So I don't think anyone should belong to her!"

"It's not that simple…"

Zoro starts up the hill. As long as they are arguing it seems everything is at a standstill. First he needs to check to make sure their damned fool captain is breathing and then go inside to look for the others. As he gets closer Luffy's chest doesn't seem to be moving and Chopper is still staring at the backs of the townspeople with wide eyes.

"Oi, doctor," Zoro says. Chopper looks at him and then down at Luffy and his eyes bulge.

"Oh no! Luffy! Don't worry! Hang on! I'll get it!"

That's taken care of. Chopper will take care of Luffy, and Franky will take care of them both and now he can go in and get Usopp and Robin. He strides toward the house, the green smoke seeping outside and making his throat burn and eyes sting again. There are two looming shapes in the darkness, staggering then running toward him. Zoro braces himself for anything. Usopp and Robin burst out of the cloud, only just supporting each other. Usopp trips on something and they both come falling forward. Zoro catches them before they can hit the ground. Both are coughing and he can hear Usopp gag on something, sees a dribble of red on the ground as he carries them away from the smoke. It will be okay. When he gets closer Luffy starts coughing, too. Good. Everyone is alive. The rest will take care of itself.

"You don't look so good, Longnose," Franky says, taking Usopp from Zoro so that he can lower Robin to the ground without jarring her. She pulls at his sleeve lightly as if trying to thank him but is too busy covering her shuddering coughs, her eyelashes wet.

"Aah! What's going on? Why are they like this?!" Chopper says, having gone back into Brain Point. He rushes over to Robin and presses a stethoscope to her chest.

"Some kind of poison," Zoro says, turning to face the townspeople and fold his arms. Something inside of him unwinds a little. It's good to hear them alive behind them. It's good to stand where he should be, in front of them, protecting them. Though it would be better if his swords were at his waist and not down there were some little girl and her mother are arguing.

He sees Franky leave to go scoop up Usopp's kabuto and shut the door, loud enough to make a few townspeople jump. Then he strides back, pushing his sunglasses onto his forehead with his thumb, though why he has them on at night Zoro has no idea. "So much for a quiet date, right?" Franky grins, then turns and stops beside Zoro, setting the kabuto down before straightening and folding his arms.

"So much for that wrench set, too," Franky continues. "Don't think these guys are gonna be big enough to pay up." Franky looks at him. "Too bad you had to go through all that for nothing."

Zoro shrugs. In this case the past doesn't really matter. All that matters is getting everyone back to the Thousand Sunny, safe and whole and unpoisoned. In the distance he sees Lady Agnes start to come up the hill, looking pissed, Sundae right by her side. There is nothing in the girl's posture that is like a servant girl now. Her head is up, her shoulders square and she looks brave enough to take on a small army.

Lady Anges comes to stand in front of the townspeople like she had been before, legs braced, arms folded. Hansel is still missing from his sheath like a lost limb, a missing tooth. This woman sacrifices too much for stupid reasons.

"Sundae says you saved her life," Lady Agnes says. "For that, I thank you. But I can't let you leave here alive."

"I have to go back to the ship," Chopper is muttering. "I think I know but I have to go back to the ship."

"You can go!" Sundae says.

"No, you can't!" Lady Agnes snaps, pushing the girl behind her. "We've captured your ship. You won't be able to get back on it."

"Nothin' will keep us off that ship, lady," Franky says, cracking his knuckles. "I'll clear the way for you, doctor-bro."

"You'll have to get through us, then," Lady Agnes says, pulling out Gretal. "We'll fight you until we die."

"Mama!" Sundae cries.

"Don't… don't be stupid…" Luffy says, grates out. It's good to hear his voice again but Zoro is unprepared for the flood of relief that sweeps over him. Of course he knew that Luffy would be alright. He had no doubts. But it was always good to hear his captain's voice. He feels Luffy grip his sleeve as if to pull himself upright and stop to cough for a minute. Damn poison. What a dirty way to fight.

"Like I'm afraid of you, Mugiwara Luffy," says Lady Agnes. "You look half dead but even if you weren't I'd still fight—"

"I said, don't be stupid!" Luffy yells, standing upright and a little in front of Zoro. Lady Agnes takes a step back. "I promised the cake head guy that we would send those pirates flying for you," Luffy says, jabbing his finger at a flatheaded guy in the crowd. "We'll hurt you a lot if you fight us, even if we don't mean to!" He is breathing heavily, his breath rasping in his chest. Usopp and Robin are still coughing behind him. Zoro wants to kick someone's ass.

"Why should we trust you?" Lady Agnes snaps. "Lady Labal said she would protect us and look at what we have? A crumbling town full of old men and scared children."

"We don't want your home," Luffy says. "We have our own."

Lady Agnes eyes widen and for a moment it looks as if she'll give in, but then she glances at Zoro and something comes over her face, not quite resistance but more like a challenge. She brings Sundae to her side who is looking at them…well probably Luffy…with wide-eyed wonder. He seems to inspire a lot of that.

"We'll put it to your swordsman," Lady Agnes says. "If we were to give you one sword, which would it be."

"Kitetsu," he says. "The one with the red sheath." Lady Agnes briefly grips the hilt and her eyes widen and then narrow as she snatches her hand away. She can feel it, he knows. The hunger. The greed. The desire to destroy everything it touches, everything that touches it. The desire to be the deadliest sword in the world.

"And why that one?" Lady Agnes says, her eyes narrowing further.

"It's my responsibility."

Lady Agnes stares at him. Zoro stares back. A wind like a soft sigh whispers and Lady Agne's eyes widen. Then she smiles in a tight painful way and drops her head.

"Better hurry to your ship, Monster-san," she says. "That poison is insidious. I'll send ahead a call to get you on."

"Right," says Chopper. "Usopp, Robin, don't move, I'll be right back."

Zoro hears him running before seeing him springing gracefully into Walk Point, with a few stinging coughs, and galloping down the road.

"And if you want to pay us back when we're done you can give us a huge feast!" Luffy says with a laugh and wide grin.

"Idiot. Don't talk about them paying us before we've even done anything," Zoro says, conking Luffy on the head which sends the rubber man into another coughing fit, but he's still smiling so Zoro guesses that's okay. Lady Agnes just shakes her head and pats the girl on the shoulder before turning back to the townspeople. Sundae comes running up to them, smiling.

"You guys are so cool," she says.

"Yep!" Luffy says, straightening. "Even if Zoro looks like an angry upside down ice cream cone with my hat on."

What? Zoro glares at him. For all the damn good it will do.

"He does! Oh wow." Sundae says before bursting into a giggle fit.

"He looks so dumb right?" Luffy says, laugh-coughing.

"You wear it then," Zoro says, taking the hat from his own head and smashing it down on his captain's. He doesn't look like a damn ice cream cone, angry or otherwise. Tch. It's almost as bad as marimo.

"Thanks for taking care of it, though," Luffy says. As if Zoro needs the thanks.

"Just keep it tied on, stupid. That's what the string is for."

"Pe…perfectly fine," Usopp wheezes and coughs in a small voice behind them. "Didn't hur…hurt at all…" he coughs some more. Sundae frowns and hugs the swords to her chest, looking around them and probably at the sniper.

"You look awful, Usopp-san," she says. "Are you going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine," Luffy says. "He gets all sorts of diseases and he is always okay."

"Diseases?" says Sundae.

"Yeah, like, can't-go-into-that-scary-forest disease or going-to-seriously-die-if-I-steal-Zoro's-swords disease. That one was new."

"Oi, oi." Usopp flaps his hands and coughs. "That's a to…totally different…" he goes into another coughing fit which sounds ten times worse than Luffy's. Zoro's chest tightens. Usopp will be fine and he knows this but that still doesn't mean he's not going to kick someone's ass for making him this way.

"Oh by the way," Sundae says. "Here are your swords, Zoro-san." She passes them to him, black cloth and all. It feels good holding the swords again. More than good. He feels completely balanced for the first time this whole night. But the black cloth is strange, it smells like cigarettes and a familiar spicy scent. What… Oh hell. Zoro takes a moment to slide his katana into his obi belt before shaking out the black cloth. Sanji's jacket. Of course. And it smells like that perfume. Damnit. He should have known something had happened when neither of them had shown up. The island isn't that large.

"That's your secretary's boyfriend's jacket right?" Sundae says. "I found it on the side of the road."

"Secretary's boyfriend?" Franky echoes. Zoro ignores him and crouches by Usopp who is resting his forehead on his knees and taking thick clawing breaths.

"Usopp," he touches the sniper's shoulder. "Did you see anyone else in the house?"

"Wha?" Usopp lifts his head, then shakes it, coughing into his hand a few times. "I ch…checked all the rooms. Didn't see—" he coughs. "Didn't see anyone."

"They're on that weird ship," Luffy says with such dead certainty that Zoro knows he's right. And then he suddenly remembers something else about the ship. Something Lady Agnes told him, hours ago it seems. It better not have been hours ago. Zoro surges to his feet. She is talking with her townspeople, her back turned to him.

"Lady!" he calls and she turns, blinking at him as if surprised at being talked to. "When is that rip tide?" he asks. Her brow wrinkles in puzzlement and then recognition and she takes her octopus watch out of her… out of there. After a moment an expression comes to her face that makes ice stab through Zoro's gut.

"In about ten minutes," she says. Shakes her head. "I'm sorry but if your nakama are there…"

"We'll get them," Luffy says, taking Sanji's jacket from Zoro's hands and sliding it on. "Show us how to get there."

"There's a path at the top of the hill that they use to get to that bay," Lady Agnes says. "But I don't think…"

"I'll show you the way," Sundae says. Luffy smiles.

"Thanks, little fish-chan. Zoro can carry you," Luffy says, moving to kneel beside Usopp. "Yosh, let's go, Usopp. Franky, you can take Robin."

"Wait a second," Franky says. "Didn't Doctor-bro tell us to wait? I don't think movin' them will be a good idea."

"Chopper will find us. We all have to go together for right now," Luffy says in his serious voice. "It'll be okay." Then more gently. "Comon', Usopp."

Usopp grabs onto Luffy's shoulders with shaking hands and Luffy lifts him up. Franky seems like he wants to say something, then shrugs and lifts Robin in his massive arms.

"You okay?" Franky asks.

"Absolutely," Robin says, her voice creaky. Zoro looks at Sundae, a little at a loss on how to carry her. If they meet any of the Lady Pirates on the way up he's going to have to fight them in passing and he's not going to do it with a kid in the crook of his elbow.

"I can ride on your shoulders," she says and Zoro kneels down so she can do so, grunting a little as her sharp foot catches him in the ribs. He now knows a little how a tree feels. She sits on his shoulder and there is a small flare of pain as the bullet whines about its presence in his shoulder. Doesn't matter. Small fingers curl into his hair.

"I'm not very good at directions but I can tug at your hair the direction you should go." She giggles. "Like a horse!"

Whose a horse? Zoro wants to say but Luffy says:

"Okay, let's go!"

And they go. Zoro runs as swiftly as he can while paying attention to the little tugs at his hair. Left and then right and then left again and south twisting this way and a little north here and a really freaking hard left that makes him wonder how much hair he has lost. He knows they are close when three bulky men come to bar their path. Zoro sweeps out Wado and knocks them aside before sliding it back home, never breaking his stride. There is a line of trees here on either side like a hallway with a gap at the end where there is nothing but black sky and blacker water, shimmering with moon.

"Woah!" Sundae says, and Zoro stops, skidding a little on the grass and almost to the edge of the cliff. Luffy and Franky come up beside him and stop. They are silent a moment, except for Usopp and Robin coughing. The path down to the bay is there, they can see it clearly, but there are no paddle boats and the ship itself is already far out. Really far out with its sails up.

"Oh no," Sundae whispers.

"I hate to say this," Franky says, voice a bit rough, breath rattling. "But it's lookin' pretty bleak."

"We just have to," Luffy coughs. "To stop the ship, right? Take down the sails."

"I don't know what you could do that with, short of fire," Franky says. "Even then it's not a good idea. On a dry night like this there's no telling what else will catch." Not to mention the wind, Zoro thinks.

"What if…what if we…just get the ropes…" Usopp says.

"Sure, that will cut down the risk a lot but, even in the daylight, that would take a pretty crack shot at this distance.

"That's no problem," Luffy says. But there is a problem when Usopp tries to stand and just sinks back to his knees, coughing. Zoro feels his teeth clench tighter. Damned poison. It's not like he can even do anything against it. Luffy coughs a few times and then lifts Usopp up, trying to hold him upright.

"Won't work…" Usopp says. "Even if you cough a little…it'll mess…mess things…"

"Then I won't," Luffy says.

"Let me do it," Zoro says because Luffy will never forgive himself if he messes up Usopp's shot. Zoro helps Sundae down then takes Luffy's place behind Usopp. He holds the sniper with both arms and lets Usopp lean back against him a little so he will be steadier. Though Usopp's curly hair is tickling his nose and he hopes to hell he doesn't sneeze.

"Yosh," Usopp wheezes. He sets the kabuto on the ground and it trembles back and forth and then stills as a vine of hands wind out of the ground and hold it secure.

"Little to the right," Usopp says, and the weapon shifts just a little. Usopp loads a ball into the slingshot, mutters something, then coughs and sucks in his breath, holds it. He pulls back on the slingshot and for just a moment Zoro can see the power in it, the tension of the strings, the pull of Usopp's arm at just the right angle. Usopp lets go. The ball flies, streaking into flame, arching high above the water, straight and true toward the ship For just a moment before the ball of flame snaps through the ropes, that are no more than spiderweb thin from here, Zoro knows he has the strongest damn nakama in the world.

Usopp reloads a second time, cracking a ball into the yardarm and snapping the ropes there so the sail swings to one side. He gets the ropes of the other sail as well before he starts coughing again, so hard he can't stop and Zoro helps him down.

"That was a super shot, longnose," Franky says, turning his head away. "Really super. Inspirational. Not that I'm crying."

"That was really cool," Sundae says. "But the rip tide will take them far out. Mama says you can go for a really long way on that without even having to sail."

"We'll just have to get out there," Luffy says. "I can rocket one of you out…" Maybe, but a gum gum rocket would only take them a little under halfway if he is any judge and he doesn't think he can swim that far in…the less than ten minutes they have now.

"I dunno," Franky says, wiping at his eyes with his thumb. "I could add a Coup de Boo to that and get further but that would use a lot of cola and with this damn tickle in my throat, I won't be able to swim as fast." He shakes his head. "I can see me gettin there just in time or just a second too late. 'Course I could push Swordsman over here pretty close with a strong right. Think you can swim fast enough?"

Zoro nods. There's not really any other option.

"You're gonna be out over water, though, Mugiwara," Franky says. And he would sink. Like a damn hammer.

"O…oi, L…Luffy," Usopp says, clenches his hands. "I'll…I'll…" and then doesn't say anything else but Zoro knows what he means. Luffy does too, because he smiles.

"Okay, Usopp. I'm counting on you." Then he spreads his feet, coughs twice and takes a deep breath. Zoro automatically shifts to one side so he won't get his eardrums blasted out.

"OIII! NAMI! SANJI! ZORO'S COMING, SO DON'T GO ANYWHERE!" Luffy bellows, his voice echoing over the water, bouncing off the hills. Robin makes a sound that's either a laugh or a cough. Zoro rests his hands on his swords and hears the clink of metal. The manacles. Zoro cuts them off quickly and the leg irons, too. Then remembers Usopp's. The last thing they need is for Usopp to be weighted down as well.

The sniper is huddled over again, coughing and sounding miserable. Zoro needs to get over there as soon as possible while Usopp is still conscious.

"I'm going to cut those off of you," he says, unsheathing Wado. Usopp looks up at him then holds a hand out, telling him to stop.

"W…wait…it's…" he coughs a few times. "Okay… I don't…th…think I ca…can stay still enough…"

"You won't need to," Zoro says, a little annoyed. Even though Kitetsu may disobey him now and again Wado always goes exactly where he wants it to.

"They're waiting," Luffy says in a tone that says it's time to go. Zoro can hear Usopp swallow and the sniper ducks his head and holds out his hands. Zoro cuts him free easily then sheathes the sword and starts to turn away when Usopp says:

"H…hold on." He fumbles in his bag a moment before holding out the fan and Zoro's bandanna. "They spray right…right in the eyes. Don't for…forget."

Right. Zoro takes both, shoves the fan into his obi, next to Yubashiri, and ties the bandanna around his head. Things go dark and he can scent blood on the wind. His luck is returning.

"Send those guys flying for me, Zoro," Luffy says and Zoro nods. As if he would do anything else.


With thanks to the Effie the Great who does nothing but fic ping me. 3