You hate me. I know you hate me. I haven't updated this for probably four months, but i had no idea where to take it, so i went with the classic with my own twist. and i will keep it t. barely.
Merry Christmas!
Warning:Swearing
"Spock…?" came a mulled voice from the bed across the med bay. Two green ears twitched as McCoy watched from where he had collapsed in a chair, cup of something in his hand, he didn't care what it was at this point. Maybe it was coffee, maybe it was brandy. He'd prefer the second.
Spock turned and walked to Jim's side, the man was just coming to and mumbling incoherently, before blue irises dropped their cloud cover and he smiled dopily up at Spock before pain washed over his features.
"Damn, what happened?" He rubbed his temples and McCoy should probably go over there, but Jim could take worse than this. A little head ache would help his character. Even if Spock was looking at him, was that pleading? Something was going on other than their usual sexual tension, something Jim obviously wasn't aware of because he was trying to lace their fingers together. With a grunt a few well-placed curses McCoy managed to get out of the chair and hobble to Jim's side.
"What hurts kid?" he asked as he pressed the back of his hand to Jim's forehead, frowning, and grabbing the tricorder, over his friend's body. It beeped at him, confirming his fear.
"My head, and is there a reason my fingers and toes are tingling? I think I was better yesterday," Jim's face scrunches up in pain.
"You're running a fever kid, I have no idea how you managed to say, let alone think through orders yesterday. The drugs and the poison really screwed you over, one or the other would have been fine, but together it's like acid running through your veins." Jim's eyes went wide in his 'adorable. It's adorable Bones,' puppy face, and please say he imagined Spock licking his lips like some hungry hobgoblin. "You'll live. You just have to stay here for a few more days so I can make sure you do and I can get all of it out of your system, Now," he smacked a hypo into his neck and Jim squeaked and slapped his hand to his neck, glaring menacingly at Bones. "That'll take care of the fever. Jim," Bones put on his serious face. Spock shifted his stance so he projected the air of a Commander, and not a lov-boyfr-gah he hated this. "Jim you need to tell us what happened with Madeline. If not as Captain, then as your friends we need to know." Bones put his hand on Jim's upper arm and squeezed. The shutters had come down across his friends face. This was usually reserved for questions about his childhood and teenage years, and regarding the scar on his back. Unlike those questions though, this received an answer other than one that involved a lot of cussing and consumption of alcohol.
"I, well, and then she, she just," an incoherent answer none the less.
"Jim, it is alright. You must try an answer comprehensibly." That was the first time Spock had spoken in lee of giving orders since they returned torn to shreds. The man in question took a deep breath and started over.
"I was about to die. The Kangar or whatever it was called had tossed me around a little bit, and was about to bite down on my neck. The thing was huge, I mean I felt its breath on my face and I knew I was a goner. And then Madeline, Madeline must have figured out it was attracted to blood, and she just cut open the top half of her arm," he covers his eyes with a hand. "The thing left, didn't even hesitate. Just jumped after her, and there was so much blood. It was everywhere, on her hands, on her neck and on her face and then the thing just grabbed her leg and started shaking her and I couldn't do a thing about it. She didn't even scream," Kirk sucks in air through his nose then takes his hand from his eyes, which were squeezed closed in pain McCoy couldn't fix. "I'm the Captain, I'm in charge. It should be me lying on that cot half dead and missing an eye, not a girl who shouldn't even be allowed to join the military," his voice is quiet. "She made the cutoff date by three days. Three damn days."
O0o0O
"Jim," Came a soft voice from across the med bay, and the man in question looked up from his padd. He would recognize that voice anywhere. Deep and rolling, like the bottom of the ocean.
"Spock, this is a pleasant surprise." He dropped the slim glass and metal object to his lap, revealing the gently scrolling text he had been reading, and forgotten to pause, when Spock stepped from the shadows. "Oh God Spock, you look terrible."
He received a raised eyebrow for that comment, and Jim's face warmed. "Eur… I uh… I didn't mean it that way. You just look really tired." Spock's lip twitched sideways in what Jim thought was the beginning of a smile. Wow. His first officer must be halfway to death.
"It is all right Jim. I understood your connotation. I have not slept or eaten since our return from Hadron XIII. This would logically lead to my rather fatigued appearance." The man took three long strides across the room to stand by Jim's bed side. Another wow was appropriate for the situation, as Spock had just called him Jim. Twice.
Jim raised both his eyebrows at Spock for that comment. "You haven't slept? Why not?"
Maybe it was his imagination, but it seemed like Spock flinched. It had to be the half-light playing tricks on him.
"That is why I am here now. Doctor McCoy suggested that I visit you and… talk about it. He seems to believe that I am having nightmares, which is not a sound diagnosis because Vulcans do not dream, let alone have nightmares," Jim watched Spock rationalize his fear of sleeping through his dark, human eyes.
"Did you try right after?" Spock nods sharply, not meeting Jim's eyes but looking right over his head, brow faintly scrunched as if he was looking at some interesting specimen.
"It was not a sound decision. There were too many duties to attend to, now that I am acting Captain, as well as the head of the science department. Vulcans can function off very little sleep." His voice was tight, so under his control Jim was afraid Spock would break his jaw before his control snapped.
"Spock," Jim said softly, patting the bed in an indication that his first officer should sit. The half-Vulcan made no move to do so, until Jim shifted his jaw and his face altered into his command sequence. Spock almost sighed, and Jim watched him catch his reaction as his elegant legs bent beneath him and the bio-bed dipped under his weight. "You keep denying it Spock, but you are half human." He puts a strong hand on his first officer's shoulder, and he watched with mild horror as the back literally crumples before him and Spock loses his perpetually exquisite posture.
"I realize this Jim." And in those words is all the conflict, all the pain from the last few days wrapped into a neat little sentence. Jim wants to see the beautiful man's face, but he is turned away from him, and all he can do is keep pressure on the elegant back.
"What have they been about Spock?" it is the 'I don't want to startle the rabid animal' tone that washes down those pointed ears.
There is silence in the private room in the sickbay, excluding the gentle whirring of the air unit.
"Everything," Spock's voice cracks, and Jim's heart is literally shattered into a thousand pieces. "I see everything; experience it again and again in excruciating detail." Jim gropes down the black clad leg and grabs Spock's hand, but there is no reaction. "Sometimes they are in sequence, sometimes not, but every time I close my eyes…" He hears a long intake of breath, but cannot see it because Spock is still facing away from him. "Your raping is there full clarity. And how I could not protect you."
He hadn't told Bones about that, and didn't plan to any time soon. It was the one thing he wasn't going to talk about. Ever. Except with Spock, because obviously the man was tearing himself to pieces over it.
"Spock, look at me." There is a long pause.
"That would not be wise Captain." Is the low response.
"Spock," desperation filters in Jim's voice. "Please." There is no movement. Jim releases the elegant hands and takes Spock's chin in gentle fingers, turning his head so blue eyes meet endless brown ones. The circles underneath are like two green hued bruises, but that isn't what scares Jim. Moisture glitters on the edge of those glorious brown eyes, and Spock looks away in shame.
"I am sorry Jim."
The man shifts to get up, but before he can Jim grabs Spock's hair and pulls his face down so their lips meet. It is a clumsy kiss, but the love and desperation bleed easily through. Their second kiss is much more controlled, and heartbreakingly gentle as Jim takes Spock's lower lip into his mouth. The soft pressure burns in Jim's blood, and he wants to be closer, he want to be so close they never have to leave each other. Spock's fingers brush over his and Jim opens his hand to him kissing him in the Vulcan and human way at the same time.
He moves his lips quietly, reveling in Spock's warmth and softness. A hot tongue begs entrance and he allows it, letting Spock shift closer so now he's pressed up against the back of the bed and Spock is straddling him. The easy exploration is turned into a fierce desire edged with need. Jim gladly obliges Spock, glad that he feels he can make the first move toward heat.
Then he feels something shift, and suddenly Spock is biting his lips, his hands are digging their nails into his back and the press of his hips is greater against Jim's, who lets out a faint moan when those thin hips grind against his own. He didn't mind of course, but the fact he got Spock to kiss him at all in such a public place shows something had to be a little off. Especially since now he was trying to get Jim out of his shirt. Jim was nearly recovered, but he couldn't have sex yet, Bones had made a point to tell him that 'extensive activity. Yes Jim, that includes sex,' wouldn't be feasible for a few more days.
He forced himself to pull away from Spock, who tried to come back after him and he had to crane his neck to prevent it.
"Spock," he panted. "We can't do this yet. I'm," His train of thought was broken as Spock began working his neck. "I'm not ready," he gasped, arching up under Spock as those elegant hands trended downwards. "Spock," he said, voice slightly sharper, commanding. His first officer's face broke away from his neck. And for the first time, Jim was a scared of Spock.
The Vulcan's pupils were blown all the way to the edges of his irises, the heave of his collar bone and there was a feral twist of his lips and hood to his eyes, which conflicted sharply with the straining control evident in the sharp line of his tendons in his neck and the hopelessness in his eyes.
"I can't," he choked out before plush lips came crashing down on his again. Jim tried to struggle away, but iron hands grabbed his wrists and forced them above his head.
"No," he snarled, and that did not sound like Spock. Then his eyes shifted again and Jim saw his Spock. "Pon Farr."
"What's-" but he never finished his sentence as his lips were once again captured. Soft fingers brushed across his hair and he felt Spock reach for the meld points. Jim knew after that there would be no return.
"Jim, I heard some- Oh God damn-it! I told you not to have sex! Why don't you listen to me?" Jim caught sight of a very irritated Bones "You could at least have the decency to stop in my presence Hobgoblin," as he stomped across the room and grabbed Spock's shoulder in an attempt to pull the Vulcan off. Spock turned to him and snarled, and Jim's blood went cold. A shiver racked his body and he tried once more to squirm out of the Vulcan's grip, to no avail.
"Damn," McCoy breathed. "Hold on Jim, keep him from melding with you at all costs! I'll be right back!" Jim wanted to shout after him, but he was a little preoccupied
When Bones reappeared he was totting a hypo and placed it into Spock's neck, pushing it down with a hiss. Immediately Spock's eyes rolled up into his head and he collapsed on top of Jim. Bones shifted the heavy weight off and placed Spock beside him instead.
"He said it was Pon Farr," Jim muttered as he pressed the provided gauze strip to his bleeding lip. "What the hell is Pon Farr?" Bones eyes flickered to Jim, a sad smile quirking at his lips. "You know, obviously." Bones snorted.
"I think it's time for you to go on a road trip," Bones drawled and heaved Jim to his feet, supporting the weakened man over one shoulder and proceeding to his office one shuffling step at a time. When Jim collapsed in the seat across from Bones he shot him a lazy smirk.
"You realize I could have walked that right? And I was just too lazy too?" Bones rolled his eyes and shoved the dusty medical (paper!) books aside, revealing a collection much more worthy of sampling.
"Remember, if you tell Scotty where this is I 'accidently' give you the wrong hypo, Right?" Jim nods numbly and gladly takes the glass poured for him, downing the fire in one gulp. It numbed the bruises starting to bloom on his skin.
Uncharacteristically, Bones didn't take a swig.
"So, what is Pon Farr?" Bones just watched Jim for a few moments before lacing his fingers together and sighing.
"Remember when Spock attacked you on the bridge?" Jim nods, wondering what that had to do with Pon Farr.
"Well, keep that in mind."
"Get to the point Bones,"
"Okay, okay, hold your god-damned horses. I'm one of the few human doctors who know about Pon Farr, and don't tell any of the pointy eared bastards because even though I have one under my care, they didn't want me to know a thing-" Jim raised an eyebrow at bones playful bitterness and the doctor shook his head to snap himself out of it and clearing his throat awkwardly. "Anyway, old Spock from the alternate future, which induced a minor migraine, told me about it and his symptoms in particular. He said it is a cycle in which 'Every seven years a Vulcan is driven to find a mate' aka, have crazy sex or die trying. They get the blood fever, and they die within eight days of insemination if they don't 'mate'. However, certain stimulants can cause a Vulcan to enter the state early. Spock his particularly delicate physiology, and his Pon Farr is not a regular cycle, and can be induced by trauma of some kind. This includes exposure to rare microbes," Bones shoots Jim a glance. "And extreme stress."
"So you're implying that this is the second time Spock has gone into Pon Farr… with me?" Bones nods at Jim's tentative conclusion.
"There are three ways to get out of induced Pon Farr. To remove whatever caused it in the first place, kill, or fuck. I described what Spock did to you on the bridge to his older self, and some of the symptoms beforehand. After his planet was destroyed, you can believe the grief was unmanageable. He didn't eat, made illogical—no-illegal decisions, and choked you half way to death."
"So he was going with the second option," Jim says, and Bones pulls at his collar.
"Uh… well," Jim raises an eyebrow and Bones shakes his head, downing his drink.
"Anyway, Sarek snapped him out of it. Now however, he's fallen back into it with the stress and drugs from the away mission, but I wasn't sure until he started raping you back in there." Rape. That word had caused all this to begin with. "So we just need to figure out what's causing it this time to force him out of it."
Jim pauses, and turns slowly to Bones.
"That isn't going to be possible."
"Of course it's possible Jim-"
"I'm going to have sex with him," Jim says determinedly, though he isn't meeting Bones eyes.
"No. You can't, not for a week. Not in your condition. He'll kill you."
"Bones, it's just sex. I've done it plenty times before," Bones hands grip his shoulders across the desk, knocking aside his glass and spilling the dregs onto his desk.
"You don't get it. This isn't just some random one night stand, or a two-month relationship, and it's not just crazy sex. What he did to you on the bridge? At the beginning Jim, that wasn't killing. That was the beginning of sex. And he determined you too weak to be his mate, so he tried to kill you instead. And he will meld with you Jim, that's Vulcan sex. And when he does that, your minds will be intertwined forever."
Jim gets this determined glint in his eye and Bones knows he cooked. "If I don't he'll die Bones. I can't let that happen." Bones sighs and runs a tired hand through his hair.
"I know Jim. I know. Maybe we could get Uhu-" Jim glares at him and he holds up his hands in defeat.
"Sorry, bad idea. Well, at least wait a day, then we can see what we can do-"
There is a bang and they both jump, turning to the sick bay. The doors to Jim's personal room are sliding closed and Spock stands there, chest shuddering. His plush lips are drawn into a snarl and his eyes flicker wildly. His knees are bent and hands splayed, he looks like he's about to attack something. There is another clatter as the contents of a medical tray are tossed to the floor. Spock pauses and closes savage eyes, drawing in a deep breath. His head snaps in their direction, and McCoy chooses some colorful swear words to describe their predicament. Jim grabs the communicator off Bones's desk.
"Captain to Bridge."
"We read you Captain."
"Lock down the medical bay. Yellow alert."
"Yes sir."
He snaps it closed with a flick of his wrist as Spock's hand slams against the now locked door. Through the small window they can only make out his face, and he is looking at Jim like he's starving, and the Captain of the Enterprise is a five course banquette.
"Still feeling so noble?" The pair jerks as Spock slams a fist into the glass, and it holds for the first impact, and even though its reinforced the cracks glittering there tell you it won't hold a second time.
"Shut up Bones."
