AN: It took me a while to update and when I finally do, it's only a short one... But I'm having some sort of writer's block here, I guess :(
Anyway, let me know what you think, thanks :)


Peyton sat down on the ground, her back leaning against her bed. It had been six weeks since Nathan was gone. Only two more and he would be home again. She hadn't heard from him ever since he left. She wouldn't let him get away with it that easily though. Peyton was determined to stay in his thoughts. She got her microphone out and started talking:

"Hey Nate, it's me again. I haven't heard form you since my last CD, or letter, or whatever you would like to call it. I hope you're ok and I hope you still like to hear from me. I just hope you don't hate me right now. I miss you, I guess. I miss someone to talk to, someone who will tell me everything is going to be ok. My life's pretty messed up right now. I still haven't heard from Lucas. Or Haley for that matter. No surprises there though. But I miss them too. I'm not very good on my own. Especially with everything that's going on right now.

I hardly get out the house these days. I can't be bothered to dress myself and go outside. I just do the necessary groceries and go right back home again. I just want to lock myself in my room, listen to what you call 'crappy music' and wait till everything is back to normal again. I don't know when that'll be though. Maybe never.

My birth-mother, Ellie, is still around even though I pretty much told her to stay out of my life. I guess I could try to talk to her, but as most of my problems revolve around her, I don't think that's such a good idea. It looks like you're stuck with me. I'm just going to keep sending you my thoughts and you just do whatever you want with them.
I really don't know how to deal with Ellie. I mean, technically she's my Mom, but emotionally she isn't. I guess her showing up after 17 years and trying to be a part of my life is her way of trying to bond with me. But why, why now. Why did she had to wait that long? And why couldn't she wait any longer, till, I don't know, I'm like 50 and have my life completely organised. At that point, meeting my mother shouldn't be that big of a deal, I think. I don't know. I just really want to know why she's here now. Somewhere deep inside I really want to get to know her, because after all, she's my mother. I must have inherited some things from her. But if I do get to know her, if I let her into my life, I'm afraid it'll feel like I'm betraying my Mom. Like – hey Mom, you've been dead for quite some time now, I just figured I should move on and find myself a new mother. That's really screwed up."

Peyton thought about what else to say, but couldn't think of anything. Actually, she could think of a lot of things to say but didn't feel like it because she still didn't know how Nathan felt about her.
"I'll talk to you later, Scott."

With that Peyton ended her recording, got an envelope out and wrote Nathan's address on it. She got dressed for the first time in a couple of days and went outside to the post-office. After Peyton was done she went home again and put on her music. It took 6 days before she got a reply by email:

Hey Sawyer, I just wanted to let you know that I don't hate you. How could I? But being here has really made me think about everything that's going on right now. You. Haley. Basketball. Everything. And right now I'm at this point where I just don't know what I want. With my life, with you, with Haley. I hope you understand that.

I'm really pulling for you Peyton and hope everything will work out for you. You deserve to be happy. But I can't make any promises.

- Nathan

Peyton read the email over and over again with tears in her eyes. She couldn't be mad at Nathan though. Peyton knew how hard this was for him. She really hoped he would choose her over Haley. But right now, everything was possible.