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Chpt 11

Days Like These

Harry waved dully to Severus' door portrait that he'd got to know before turning away to trudge back upstairs. Another elf could bring his stuff from Severus' door to wherever he'd be now. The fact he didn't have anywhere new to stay yet was why he had to go see Albus.

And he had to take the long way because he didn't think he could go up those circular stairs safely in his shape, or condition. He blinked his welled eyes and wiped away the forced tears quickly. He didn't have anything to feel sorry for…he'd tried to explain…he had a reason why he couldn't…and you couldn't force someone to love you!

There's other kinds of love…

What did he mean by that? Love was love…and if he didn't feel it…there was no way he could be made to. And he cared about Severus too much to pretend to feel what he didn't.

By the time he made it to Albus' office he felt a little better and knocked on the door lightly.

"Come in." Harry smiled as he stuck his head into Albus' office.

"Hi." He stepped inside and shut the door behind him before heading for an armchair.

"Ah. Come to ask for a new place to stay." Harry cringed. "Don't worry we couldn't hear from up here. Hermione told me you might be in need so…they are connected to your classroom on the seventh floor with the hospital wing."

"Oh. Thanks." Harry smiled slightly. "Severus and I just had a horrible fight."

"He's just a bit hurt right now. You didn't mean it though and he's more sensitive than he likes to think. Besides what with Draco having visited him yesterday he can't have been in a good mood."

"Draco was here?" Harry paled and almost pushed back up out of his chair before the Headmaster stopped him. "Did Severus…that's why he was hurt!"

"Mr. Malfoy is still alive. His face I'd say is very battered but he's alive. So don't worry Severus won't be on murder charges."

Harry relaxed back into his chair slowly. "He could still be charged with assault."

"Well considering he asked Mister Malfoy to leave more than once before taking action against someone trespassing…" Albus shrugged with a twinkling smile.

"Okay." Harry sighed then smiled weakly. "Can you show me to my rooms?"

"But of course." Albus stood and swept from behind his desk. "Very nice chambers. A high view over the lake and forest. I thought you'd prefer that to the Quidditch pitch actually."

"You know me well." Harry followed him down the corridor with a laugh.

Hermione was hanging around the hospital wing as they passed and joined Harry on the way to his new quarters. "I'm sorry things didn't work out."

"I tried. That's all I could do." Harry smiled weakly.

"Here we are. Call an elf to bring your things and you can decorate as you wish. I'm going to head back to my office." Albus smiled cheerily and left.

"Well. Come in to my…empty rooms." Harry said opening the bare chamber wall and looking around the large space. "I hope you'll help me decorate."

"But of course." Hermione started conjuring and Harry started pulling around, since he wasn't supposed to be doing much to any magic. He stopped when she conjured a squishy replica of the chair he'd gotten from Severus and smiled weakly, pulling it towards the fire.

"Thanks. Do a leather one and you can sit across from me and talk…"

"Like Severus did?"

"It was fun." Harry said quietly, sighing as he flopped and sank into his chair. "We can do the rest later. I'm tired already."

"And we've only done the living room." Hermione laughed. "I'll get Ron and Remus perhaps to come in and help this afternoon. But you can talk to me now. Did it go that wrong?"

"Yes." Harry sighed. "He thought I pitied him and was trying to make excuses while I was trying to explain…it didn't really end angrily…but it was just…confusing…and sad. I don't love him like how I loved Draco. You know, when we were finally together when everyone knew, how…explosive I felt? I mean, that what being in love means to me. It's free and impulsive and all consuming…Severus said there's other kinds of love…but I don't understand what he means."

"There are Harry. The way you loved Draco was one way. It's a wildfire, a brightly burning nova that has all of your emotions in that time. But look at me and Ron. We have something that's both that and a content, quiet, 'just-there' kind of love. Severus seems to me the type for the latter. A nice, quiet, companionship kind of love more than an inferno. Because that kind of love lasts for ages…novas fizzle out Harry."

Harry blinked at Hermione. "Is it really possible to love like that?"

"I know it is." She smiled. "See how you survive without chats with Severus and quiet dinners together and silly or informative discussions by the fire and see for yourself…"

Harry flushed. "Do you think I'm in love with Severus like that?"

"I can't tell you if you are Harry. You'll find out for yourself." Hermione snapped her fingers and turned to the elf that came, asking it to bring Harry's things. She turned back to him after. "You stay here and relax. I'll sort out everything."


That day passed in relaxation as no one let him get off his feet to help arrange his place but he didn't care about it as he felt sapped himself. The next day though he was bored however, sitting in his rooms all day with friends dropping by and only a book for company. Damn, he did miss Severus. He didn't necessarily listen to Harry's chatter but he'd at least hum or look at him once in a while.

He didn't even realize it was his birthday the day after until Hermione and Ron surprised him with a couple of house elves outside the door, early in the morning with a tray of everything he loved for breakfast. And dessert. The rest of the day sped by happily with him moving around the next two lower levels with Albus and Minerva and some other teachers that were beginning to return as the next year drew closer and Ron and Hermione entertaining him in his room. By evening there was a small party taking place in his rooms, with Remus, Hagrid, Madam Pomfrey, Ron and Hermione and their kids, Fred and George and Arthur and Molly and Albus and Minerva…okay, a big party. A few other teachers trickled in and out and Harry found himself looking around hopefully until Hermione elbowed him and shook her head.

"If you're looking for him…he's not coming."

"Did you talk to him?" Harry asked quietly leaning into her on the couch to be heard over the music and chatter.

"Sort of. He said he promised you something…" Hermione stood up and walked over to the pile of presents on his kitchen table and picked out one he'd seen her bring in. He took the flat box with a sigh and opened it, tossing the top and pulling back the wax paper to reveal a slab of Honeyduke's finest.

"He never breaks a promise." Harry murmured softly.


The next month passed quickly for him, brewing enough potions to keep the Infirmary restocked twice over, fiddling with some new potions he'd invented, preparing next year's speeches and pop-quizzes and tests and lesson plans and in general doing things to make himself forget about Potter.

He'd seen him once or twice wandering around the castle alone and once out by the lake when he'd been returning from the greenhouses with some ingredients. He looked even more adora…hugely, pregnant than he had before but pale-faced from lack of sunlight, being inside all the time, he presumed. But he wasn't Potter's caretaker anymore and he didn't have to care.

But he couldn't have been the only one worried as he watched Harry pick despondently at his dinner on the night of the Welcoming Feast, after spending half the time before fidgeting as if waiting for dinner and smiling glassily as he was introduced as the year's Defense teacher. He even turned down chocolate eclairs, which had Severus tapping his foot nervously under the table. Potter would never turn down chocolates.

He watched a wraith-like Potter leave the Feast early through his side door and gritted his teeth as he decided to talk to Albus after the Feast. He didn't know why he was surprised to find the man waiting in the hall way for him after all the kids had left.

"I can't believe you're actually letting Potter work with the way he looks!" Severus hissed under his breath.

"The kids aren't distracted by his condition. Or do you mean how drawn he looks?" Albus said moving towards the dungeons with him.

"You know which I mean!" Severus snapped. "He'll be sapping all of his energy dealing with those children everyday! And I still say it's too dangerous! Why isn't he eating properly! He doesn't look like he's being sleeping properly either and for Morgana's sake, he needs some sunlight!"

Albus twinkled suddenly. "That last comment was rather pot calling the kettle black Severus. But if you want answers to the other things I suggest you talk to Harry. Not me. He's been like that since his friends left. He's probably lonely."

The Headmaster turned back leaving Severus at the stairs on his dungeons gaping helplessly. Bloody twinkling long-bearded…he turned a dark scowl on a lagging student and followed them down the corridor to the common room. He wouldn't go…crawling back to Potter like some…love sick puppy…!

He made it through three days of watching Harry struggle up and down the stairs every morning, lunch and evening for meals before waylaying him the third evening as he started up.

"Potter…" Severus grated out lowly. He almost gasped at the same time Harry did when he turned to him. He looked like a bloody green-eyed panda with giant rings around his eyes.

"Severus!" He cringed. Didn't this man have any idea of the guidelines of secrecy! Like whispering!

"Come with me. We need to talk." He took Harry's arm gently and led him back down to the dungeons carefully, making sure no one saw as he shuttled him into his chambers before shutting the door quietly. He turned to the waiting man and pulled his wand, conjuring back Harry's chair. "Sit."

Harry blinked at him then looked at the chair before looking back at him. "What's this about?"

"You. Only you. Don't get any ideas." Severus snapped. "Sit."

Harry looked at him carefully before sinking into the chair and letting out a happy sigh.

"Gods, I don't think I was going to make it back upstairs." He said faintly leaning his head back.

"I want to know why you're killing yourself going up and down for meals. You can just call an elf to your rooms."

"Yes. Then I'd be in there all day except for classes. And I wouldn't be seen weekends at all." Harry lifted his head and looked at Severus. "I feel awkward going to the staff room to just sit around in the free periods I have so I just go back to my rooms. But I can't be cramped in there all day. It's boring. I'm lone…well alone."

"Then choose trips more carefully. Come down to breakfast once or twice during the week, days you don't come to breakfast come to lunch and every other evening to dinner. How hard can that be instead of running yourself down!" Severus paced in front of him agitated.

"I'm lonely." Harry whispered. "I can't stay in that room all day."

"Then go to the staff room! It's only one level down. Drink tea with Minerva." He looked down to catch Harry staring at him hopefully. "What?"

"Do you ever go to the staff room?"

"No." Severus scoffed.

"There then. There's no one there to talk to." Harry replied. Severus paused and shook his head before moving on.

"You aren't eating and sleeping properly. And you need to go outside at least once a week for a few hours."

"Been watching me?" Harry quipped before he burst out laughing. "And please…don't make me laugh so hard when I'm this pregnant!"

"What, pray tell, is so funny?" Severus said glaring darkly. "And everyone's been watching you not eat!"

"You…telling me I need sun." Harry snickered, wrapping an arm around his stomach. "Gods, now you're giving me a stitch." He hiccuped and giggled again making him scowl.

"I'm supposed to be pale…you are not." Severus kneeled next to the chair and moved Harry's arms firmly. He spoke over his spluttering. "You should not be Defense teacher. I told you this job would run you down." He pressed his hands against the sides of Harry's stomach before rubbing gently towards his back. "But do you listen to me? Of course not…you know what you want to do even if it's going to endanger your life, not to mention your baby's…"

Harry jerked suddenly in the chair, startling him in turn to snatch his hands away.

"What! What? Did I hurt you…?" Harry was looking down at him confusedly, wide eyes blinking.

"I thought…thought I felt the baby move." His voice sounded disappointed. "Maybe you just pushed something."

"Hasn't it moved before?" Severus asked sharply. "You're starting your seventh month. The baby should be moving by now."

"I know but Madam Pomfrey thought I might have bound it by mistake when I was trying to save it. It hasn't been…active." Harry swallowed. "I hope it moves soon…she's been worried something might be wrong with it she can't tell…or it could be…"

"It's not dead." Severus said shortly. "A magical scan might not be able to tell if something was wrong with it metaphysically but if it's breathing the scan will say so."

"Then it's been really quiet…" Harry lowered his eyes and looked away.

"It's not dead." He found himself trying to reassure Potter. Hadn't he brought him here to chew him out? He sighed and started to rub his sides again. It was the big green eyes. All Potter had to do was bat his eyelashes a few times and…

"Huh!" Harry's body jerked again and he had almost pulled away before Harry clasped his hands. "Don't! Please…don't stop. I think…I really think it moved." A small smile unfurled on Harry's face as he replaced his hands reluctantly.

He watched as Harry giggled for no reason a few times, looking from his fireplace to laugh at him. "Oh yeah. It's moving." He laughed again. "I've got to go upstairs…to Madam Pomfrey…" Harry's breath hitched.

"I'm coming with you." He was up and helping Harry out of the chair before he could try. "I can't believe this is the first time the baby's moved…"

It was a slow thirty minutes up to the hospital wing as the baby seemed to have learnt to move on it's own and Harry spent a few relieved minutes laughing against various walls.

"Hell, I don't think I've felt this good since…I don't know!" Harry was leant against Severus as he stumbled them down the corridor to the hospital wing. "My baby's moving!"

"It's been for the past half hour Harry." Severus muttered. "Now please move your bloody feet. You feel like dead weight!"

Harry bit his lip with a smile. "Sorry." He pushed away gently and helped Severus get him down the corridor before pushing open the wing doors.

"Do I want to know why you're…Severus!" Madam Pomfrey exclaimed and he scowled.

"Please, if I've become popular someone Avada me."

Harry looked at him with a raised eyebrow before turning to Madam Pomfrey. "Poppy…the baby moved!"

"Really?" She shuttled him over to a bed. "Lie down and let me check it."

Severus paced by, twiddling his thumbs and looking over as she and Harry chatted together over the scan. He finally threw himself into a chair and stretched his legs lazily as they kept going on and on. About an hour later Harry finally sat up with a grin and turned to him.

"Poppy said your massage probably stimulated him to move." Harry pushed off the bed. "Why didn't we think of that?"

"Because you're both chattering twits." Severus muttered under his breath.

"Anyway, I need to get to bed…" Harry stopped by Severus' chair and waited for him to get up. "Would you like a cup of tea? I'm just next door. Well, two doors down actually."

Severus sighed, put-upon. "I may as well. I wasn't done talking to you."

"Ah." Harry quipped. "Come then."


"So what else is there you have to," Harry patted his moving stomach lightly, heading to the fridge. "Uh, talk to me about?"

Severus was sitting at his kitchen table watching him carefully as he made tea. He poured a dab of milk into each cup and added sugar to one before stirring both and bringing them to the table.

"I was serious when I said you weren't eating properly. And it doesn't look as if you're sleeping properly either."

Harry paused over his cup before heading back to the fridge. "I've been worried about the baby actually. That's why I've not been sleeping or eating properly…and I have kinda been down since my friends left…and Remus has gone back home and it seems like life's moved on again without me. Also since you stopped helping the guy from that firm's been stalling me to make me enlarge the house." Harry fretted, digging in the corners of the shelves. "Ah."

He pulled out a wrapping of wax paper and set it on the table proudly before hitting it lightly with the sugar bowl.

"You didn't eat it?" Severus looked from the chocolate slab to him. He flushed lightly under the stare.

"Well…it didn't feel right. But it's better now. Want piece?"

"How are you going to eat it hard?" An eyebrow cocked and Harry smiled proudly.

"Look…" He took a piece and dipped it in his tea for a few seconds before pulling it out and sucking on it with a grin. "Seeh?"

Severus' lips curled. "I think I'll pass."

"So yeah. That's why I've not been eating properly or sleeping much. And I've been so tired just climbing up and down stairs I've not had any inclination to go out." Harry wriggled forward on his chair and took another piece of chocolate up.

"You should be able to eat and sleep properly now. I'll talk with Mr. Stretzoph about your house," Severus lifted his teacup with a dangerous smirk. "And you will be going outside."

Harry gestured with his half melted chocolate spike. "In order to force me to go into the sun that means you'll have to go out yourself. Can you risk it what with your part vampire ancestry?"

Severus scowled. "It should simply prove to the younger years that I'm not a vampire then."

"Ah. But that'd ruin your rep." Harry nodded sagely, sucking on his chocolate.

"My reputation will survive." Severus put down his cup and stood suddenly. "I need to go."

"Mm! Wait…wait, wait." Harry licked his lips. "One more thing, can you do what you did…you know to that room in your chambers, to my bedroom?" He stood too. "Hermione tried to imitate it but it's not quite right."

Severus withdrew his wand and followed his pointed finger to the doorway of his bedroom while Harry wrapped and replaced the rest of his chocolate.

"It's done." Harry turned to see Severus at the doorway to his suite. "Eat breakfast up here tomorrow and I will…come up to the staff room for lunch." Harry smiled as Severus sneered disgusted. "I'll come to help you down to dinner."

"Great." Harry smiled. "I missed…I missed being your friend."

Severus nodded sharply. "Goodnight."


Severus opened the door to the staff room and edged inside against the wall before sitting on the far end of the table wearing a scowl. Flitwick was in there blinking at him in surprise while Minerva looked over the paper while drinking her tea.

"What ever are you…" Severus cringed at Flitwick's squeaky voice and cursed him internally for attracting Minerva's attention just as Potter came in.

"Kids are beasts! I'm almost wishing I took your advice." Harry sighed as he, something between wobbling and stumbling, came in and plopped down with his wrapped chocolate in the chair next to Severus'. He snapped his fingers and an elf popped in to ask what he wanted. "What do you want Severus?"

He scowled at Minerva. "Nothing."

"Okay." Harry said cheerfully. "Severus wants…a grilled cheese sandwich and umm, no chocolate right?…uhh, a treacle tart. With a glass of…butterbeer." He finished in a grin.

"Exchange the treacle tart for a slice of ham on that sandwich." He changed. Harry shrugged.

"I'll take his tart. And I want a…ohh, I feel like a pizza." Harry's mouth turned down suddenly and his lower lip stuck out.

"Oh Gods." Severus muttered under his breath.

"What is pete za?" The house elf looked confused.

"Listen carefully. Get two slices of bread and spread some tomato paste on one. Then melt some cheese on top. Some pineapple, pepperoni and mincemeat on top of that and then grill it in the oven for ten minutes. Stick the other bread on top and bring it up." Severus rattled off. Flitwick and Minerva stared, as Harry nodded smiling suddenly.

"That'll have to do. And I want a butterbeer too. Do you have all that?"

The elf popped out with a nod and Harry turned to Severus. "It's a good short term alternative but when I live in Godric's Hollow I have to be able to get pizza delivery people in. Or I'll die."

"With the kinds of spells we're putting on the house you'll have to change pizza places every month. What with drivers forgetting where your house is after they leave and money appearing they don't know where from." Severus pointedly ignored the eyes he could feel on him and talked to Harry. "And what did the brats do today?"

"Oh, do not get me started!" Harry moaned. "A first year Gryffindor got it into his head to skip some chapters and try out a spell in his book…" Harry was still talking when the food came and kept going between bites with Severus nodded along, half-listening. "…so horrible when I was a fourth year! Then again I was busy that year so I didn't really have time to cause trouble…" Here Severus inserted his snort. "Hey, trouble came looking for me! So yeah, this other smart Gryffindor gets in his head…"

"Do you realize it's all Gryffindors that have been giving you trouble?"

"They just want to show off for me." Harry licked some tomato paste off his fingers making him twitch in his seat. "I think it's sweet."

"It's sweet huh? What'd he do to the classroom?" Severus arched an eyebrow as Harry blushed and muttered.

"Burnt the curtains. Professor Flitwick, I borrowed your pronunciation speech. They needed it. Desperately." Harry shuddered. "But apart from the panic about the burning curtains and a small jinx match between two boys…it was all good."

Severus stared blankly. "Told you."

Harry sighed biting into his treacle. "Yeah. Yeah." He pushed forward his wrapping paper. "Chocolate?"

"No thank you."

"What some err, Minerva?" Harry asked awkwardly. "Filius?"

"No thank you." They chorused together, both watching the spectacle. Harry shrugged.

"More for me." Harry nibbled on some chocolate happily while he sat back and stared around bored.

"How did you sleep last night?"

"Mm? Mmm…" Harry swallowed. "Good. Like a log. Pillows under the back to help me get up. But I tend to want to sleep on my side. It's bloody awkward being pregnant." Harry shook his head. "Men don't appreciate women enough."

Minerva suddenly shot Harry a bright smile and came over. "That is so true…" Severus cringed moving slightly away from the table in his chair as Flitwick suddenly hurried out.

I can't believe you started her up Potter. He shook his head as he watched Harry flounder under her onslaught of feminism and stood.

"Thank you for lunch Harry but I have a class right after…Have fun." He almost grinned with the evilness of leaving Harry there with Minerva in battle mode but settled for a small sneer as Harry's face went appalled.

He left just before the pout could be armed and heard his name squeaked as the door shut. The rest of his afternoon went well with children cowering under his sudden threatening smiles. He finished up his last class of the week by wishing the kids good luck and resisted an evil chuckle as several scrambled over each other to get out. Oh, life was good. He found himself back in his chambers preparing for dinner before he headed up to Harry's chambers.

He came in after Harry called for him to come and sat watching the fire on the couch.

"Hey. Sorry about that. Did you do something to your hair? It looks…fuller." Harry paused with his head cocked before shrugging. "Gods it's really getting embarrassing trying to find dress shirts that still fit me, even with enlargement charms." Harry pulled his robes over his clothes and clasped them shut. "Okay I'm…we're hungry." Harry rubbed his stomach.

"He's moving?"

"Yeah. He has when you've not been here." Harry smiled. "Was worried he only liked yours hands or something."

"And what would be wrong with that?" He raised an eyebrow at Harry's blush and waited. "Well?"

"Nothing." Harry kept his eyes on the floor. "I just might not be able to promise him…well, your hands on my body…but anyway let's go to dinner!" Harry's cheeks reddened.

"You don't have to promise him anything yet." Severus said evenly. The silence was heavy as Harry read into his double entendre, or he hoped he did, before Harry cleared his throat.

"I'd just rather he didn't have any expectations. For now." Harry lifted his eyes to meet his before wobbling adorably to the door. Somehow though, as he followed Harry out, the prospects seemed much better than they had last month.


A/N: Awwwwwwwww.

Everyone say it with me! AWWWWW! gooooood. Isn't it sweet?lol