ok. Three part finish coming up for you guys, so tomorrow you will probably get another cliffhanger but please keep reading lol... Sorry if you don like, I'm mean I know... Have a merry Christmas?
An now on to the feature presentation
Since my last post things with Sherlock have calmed down and the kisses are shared commonplace little explosions, the one normal thing in the ever changing tide of bills and work. Mycroft and I have been planning a get together with everyone, including Sarah who heard from a friend of a friend of Molly's so that will be just wonderful. We are all going to I out for a nice night out at this classy bar that I found last week. But back to today. I've been (trying to) help mrs. Hudson with all of the baking for her friends and stuff, I just kind of stand in the kitchen most of the time for fear of burning the whole building down.
"John? Hello?" I snap back to the bowl I had been mixing which was now spilling on the counter and floor.
"Oh..." I look at the mess and flinch at the towel thrown at my face.
"You haven't been here you know. Well you're here, but..." I know what she means, I clean up the mess and rinse my hands before putting some more cookie dough onto a sheet.
"John you've forgotten the eggs.." She says disappointed and I step back to let her work her magic. I grunt an apology before I walk from the kitchen grabbing the paper plopping down on the love seat to wait for Sherlock.
"Good morning dear" Sherlock says with obvious sarcasm.
"Good morning?" I ask watching him walk to the kitchen for some tea no doubt.
"John we are out of tea." He calls from the kitchen.
"What I just bought some yesterday!" I ask nearly falling out of my chair. I hear him laugh as he glides up behind me,
"Good morning John" he says kissing me lightly before sitting down in the chair opposite smiling mischievously. I smile at him trying to find a good way to ask him to go with me to the dinner thing.
"Um, Sherlock?" I ask timidly
"Yes?"
"Do you want to go with me and everyone to the Christmas dinner I've been planning, Lestrade and Molly are invited. Oh, Sarah too." I rattle of my tongue racing itself.
"Mycroft coming?" He asks leaning back.
"Yes."
"I'm busy" he states simply.
"You have got to tell him sometime, he is getting as bad as I was you know" I retort my temper sparking.
"No, actually I don't." He says simply standing up to grab his violin.
"Sherlock, I tried to kill myself at least twice while you were gone. He is your brother for gods sake!" I yell.
Mrs. Hudson mumbles something about mail as she drops her whisk in a bowl of batter hurrying down the stairs for refuge.
"John. I don't have to tell him, and I won't. He sold me to Moriarty John, all because he wanted a few nonexistent tidbits. It is all his fault! Why the hell would I tell him! It's not like he cares about me" His anger fiery as ever. I am at a loss for words, he has never been angry with me (directly) before, and not ever since he had gotten back.
"He's your brother." I retort trying to sound fine.
"Yes, he is my brother and that doesn't change anything. If he wants to kill himself them let him do it. Brings up the question, if you tried to kill yourself then why the hell are you still here?" He glares at me face flushed with the most color that I had ever seen (with his being Sherlock...)
"What would you do if I was dead Sherlock?" I ask my voice cracking like dry wood.
"I lived without for a good year, why the hell couldn't i do it again?!" He yells stomping of to his room with the newly abused violin. This being the first time we had fought since he got back, I am full of hurt and exhaustion. What if he doesn't feel the way I do about him? Does he even love me? What if I did kill myself... There wasn't much to live for if Sherlock didn't love me. I make a decision then. I slip into my shoes and pull on my coat grabbing the rope from under a black light before rushing out the door. Funny how things can change from perfection to hell in a few minutes time.
