Chapter 11
I feel like I'm the one in trouble. Which is weird because I didn't do anything wrong. At least, I don't think I did anything wrong. I thought I had done the right thing last night. I still think I did.
But it could just very well be my dad overreacting again. He's been doing that a lot nowadays. He got home from hunting with mom and ran straight to my bedroom. Immediately, he had known that something was wrong.
"What happened?" He demanded. I didn't miss that his fury was directed towards me. Like he was angry with me. Seriously? Some guy breaks into my room and I'm the one who gets yelled at?
I didn't answer my father. At least not directly. I just replayed the whole event with my thoughts. Every few seconds my father growled. It was hard to keep going with him doing that the whole time.
"Why didn't you call me?" He asked, furious. "I could have been back in 2 minutes!" He used his hands when he spoke. He usually did that when he was agitated.
I sighed. "I was going to Dad, if he didn't leave soon." I avoided his gaze. I didn't want to look him in the eyes and see his enraged expression. It would just make me want to cry.
"No, you should have called as soon as he came. Do you realize the danger you've put yourself in?"
I couldn't believe it. The danger I put myself in? Is he serious? I didn't call Nahuel to come. He did that on his own. I didn't invite him in. He came by himself. I'm the victim; why should I be taking the blame?
But before I could respond with an impudent response, Mom came in the room.
"Hey," her voice was an octave higher because of her shock. "What's going on?" She looked back and forth between me and Dad, waiting for someone to give her an answer. Although I wanted to share my side of the story, Dad started talking first.
"Your daughter," he had said, emphasizing on the your, like he was disowning me. I knew he would never do that but it still hurt. "Let a boy sneak into her room, last night."
I gasped, getting angry. "Let? Let! I didn't let anything happen!" My temper started flaring up. I was yelling now. "I didn't mean for any of this to happen!"
"You watch your tone, young lady. You do not talk to me like that." His voice became softer, in volume. But the ferocity was just as harsh as ever. That made him even scarier.
My father had stepped closer to me but Mom, sensing his anger, stepped between us, as if blocking him from me.
"Enough, Edward," she said, putting a hand on his chest. "Calm down."
My father, still very furious, harshly took her hand off his chest. My mom looked hurt. There would be no soothing him now.
He growled. "I would never hurt her, Bella, You know that," Dad roared at her. He must have noticed the way she was positioned, making it look like she was defending me. "I'm just trying to protect her. But I don't see why she's making it so damn difficult!"
My eyes started watering, but I blinked back the tears. No way I was going to cry, not now when I was so angry.
"Edward, stop. Right now," Mom said, trying to reason with him. "This isn't helping."
My Dad looked at her, shocked. "This isn't helping? This isn't helping!" He was getting louder now. "Well, would you please tell what would help our child? Every day she gets into more and more trouble." He turned to me. "Let me protect you!" He roared at me.
The roar echoed in the silence. No one else knew just what to say after that. We all just stared at each other, willing another person to speak.
But I didn't want to speak anymore; I didn't want to fight. My heart was breaking. Dad, Mom and I never fought like this. Not once had my father yelled at me like the way he was doing right now. This family has always been perfect. We never had any issues. But now, we were fighting like we hated each other. Like we were never that perfect family. How could something so good, turn sour like that? How did things get so bad?
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to leave. I was still in my pajamas, but I grabbed a sweater and put on some socks and shoes. Ignoring the two sets of eyes following me, I walked right past them to the door.
"Don't you dare leave this house, young lady," my father whispered to me. The anger was still in his voice, but it was a little more controlled.
I ignored him and opened the door. Running out of my bedroom, I went down the stairs and out the front door. No one followed me. I didn't look back.
I've been running for a while now. It's almost morning. Since I didn't get a chance to sleep, I was really tired. I needed someplace to crash. No way was I going back home.
I decided to go to the park. I could sleep on one of the slides. It wouldn't be comfortable but it would do for right now.
To be honest, what I really wanted right now was Jacob. But I knew I shouldn't go to him. He would either take me back to my father, and I didn't want to go back to him just yet. Or he would help me hide, but sooner or later, my dad would find me and then Jake would be in trouble. I didn't want to get him into trouble.
Once I got to the park, I didn't even make it to the slide. I was too tired. I tripped over something, probably my own foot, and fell to the ground. Too exhausted, I couldn't find the strength to pick myself up. So I just stayed there and I closed my eyes.
It didn't seem like a very long time that they stayed closed. But when I opened them, I wasn't in the same spot I fell in. Looking around, I was a little surprised to see that I was under the slide. Confused, I sat up trying to figure out what happened. But then I saw that there was someone else in the corner.
I sighed. "Not again. Why can't you just leave me alone?"
Nahuel was sitting with his legs crossed, looking relaxed like he did this everyday.
"And a big hello to you too," he said smiling. I noticed that he didn't have jacket on. I looked down and saw that it was around me. Covering me like a blanket. "Do you mind if I ask, but what are you doing out here?"
I was a little disoriented since I had just woken up, so I didn't understand his question. "Hmm?" I asked.
"What are do you doing here? Sleeping on the cold ground instead of in your bed?"
I sniffed. I didn't know how much I should tell him. "I didn't want to stay home," I said truthfully.
He scoffed. "Why not? Did you get in trouble?" He chuckled at the absurdity of that. He didn't know that I actually did get into trouble. I looked at him, my expression grave, waiting for him to figure it out.
Eventually he did. His expression turned to shock. "Wait, what?" He asked in disbelief. "You got into trouble?"
I nodded.
All the humor left his face. He looked like he had just received bad news.
"Why? Why did you get into trouble?" He asked.
I sighed. "For having a boy in my room." I looked at him, glaring.
He knotted his eyebrows in confusion. "But- did you tell him? Did you explain what happened?"
"Yup. And I was still the one he yelled at."
"He. Meaning Jacob?"
I shook my head. "No. My father."
Nahuel sighed and sat back, his eyes wide open looking completely flabbergasted. He looked at his hands. "I did not know that was going to happen," he said slowly, articulating each word. He glanced up at me. "I'm sorry."
I rolled my eyes. "You're always sorry."
He sighed. "Yes. You're right about that. But I didn't want you taking the blame for this. You didn't do anything wrong."
I didn't answer. I don't know why I was talking to him. I don't why I didn't just leave right now. But it was too hard to move. I was so comfortable right now. And, whether I liked it or not, having Nahuel here made me a little calmer. It made no sense, I know. The guy who's the cause of all my problems is the guy who soothes me.
My life is so complicated.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked me.
I looked at him. He was asking me to talk to him? To confide in him? What? Why would he think I would do this? After everything that happened?
I realized, he just wanted things to go back to before, where we would talk about anything for hours. But that all ended when he kissed me. Things were never the same after that.
I want so bad to believe that Nahuel was this bad guy. That's what everyone else thought. I would be easier to deal if I thought that. But deep down I knew that there was some good in him. I knew that there was a lot of good in him. It bothers me that he so rarely shows it.
"Nahuel," I started. "Why do you do this?"
He looked confused. "Do what?"
"This. You act like a bad guy, like you're a mean person. When we're around other people, you make it look like you want to hurt me. But I know you better than that. You're good, and your nice and you go out of your way to help me. Why do you constantly show other people your bad side?"
He looked at me, surprised. I hoped that he'd give me an honest answer.
He looked troubled, like he was thinking of what to say.
"I-I don't know," he whispered not looking at me. "Everyone was just so quick to judge me after I… after I kissed you." He sounded ashamed. Good.
"So instead of proving them wrong you made yourself into the person that they thought you were?" I asked. He nodded his head. "Nahuel, that's crazy."
He smiled sadly. "Yeah, I'm a little crazy."
I scoffed. A little crazy. "No Nahuel. You're really crazy. Too crazy for me."
"No, Nessie. I'm crazy about you. There's a difference."
I gasped. He smiled again, still sad. "But you already knew that, right? You know how I feel about you."
I looked down at my hands. I waited a while before I answered. "Yes. I know."
"Does that make you sad?"
I frowned. "Does what make me sad?"
"Knowing that I love you." I looked up at him. I already knew, but just him saying the words, it made it seem more real.
"Yes. It does make me sad," I answered, truthfully.
"Why?" He whispered. I looked up at him. It was clear that he was hurt. His eyes were watery.
"You know why."
"I want you to tell me."
I sighed. "Because I don't feel the same way."
It was silent. Nahuel took a deep breath, and he let it out slowly.
"I'm sorry," I said. "And I'm not just saying that, I'm really, really sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, Nahuel."
"Why? You don't love me." He looked down at his hands as he spoke.
"Yes, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you. Because I do. I care about you more than you know. More than Jake wants me to. I'm just sorry it's not the way you want me to."
He sighed again. "I'm sorry, too." With that, he stood up, and walked out from under the slide. I noted his expression. He looked…defeated. I realized he was hoping all this time that I loved him. But now he just can't deny it anymore.
"Where are you going?" I asked him.
"I'm going to find your father. I'm going to tell him that last night wasn't your fault."
I smiled. "Thanks but I don't think that would help. It'll probably just get me into more trouble."
He sighed. "Then I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't correct the mistake I made. I'm sorry I have to leave you to clean my mess."
This apology, so sincere, was real. I can tell. He was feeling guilty about all the things he's caused me. I didn't want him to suffer like that.
"It's okay, Nahuel. I forgive you. It'll be alright for me. My dad's never stayed mad at me for too long." It was kind of a lie. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad barred my windows when I got home. But I just wanted to reassure Nahuel.
"You should go back to him soon. I'm sure that the longer you stay out here, the worse it will be."
I nodded. "Thanks."
And with that he left. I watched him run away into the forest, and I wondered if I would ever see him again.
I sighed. Standing up, I realized that he left me his jacket. It'll be hard explaining this to Dad. Or Jake. I didn't know which was worse. Oh well, they would just have to deal. I started running back home. Hopefully my dad has calmed down. If not, then this would only get worse.
I was close to the house now. I could see it. My dad should know by now that I was here. If he was angry he would have came out and dragged me back inside. Since he didn't, I took that as a good sign.
I stopped right on the front porch. Taking a deep breath, I opened the door.
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