Okay peeps, with this chapter you're officially all caught up! Chapter twelve is almost done, and I had a dream about the ending of it last night, so expect that one too! And I promise I won't forget to post it here :P


Cas was on fire. Or, at least, that's what he thought must be happening, because nothing else could possible hurt this much. Things come in sharp bursts of pain on top of the constant burn, narrated by a smooth, accented voice he can barely hear anymore over the flames. Cas has long ceased trying to fight his way out, long enough that his fingers are numb as he hangs from his wrists. His last shred of control snapped long ago with a particularly vicious strike, the scream echoing back at him from the cold walls, and he hates this; hates giving the snake behind him the satisfaction of it, left with nothing but the taste of blood in his mouth. Things fade in and out for an eternity, a cruel trick that allows him to slip into the quiet blackness for a moment before being jerked back into hell. He hears the screams, knowing they are his and at the same time they are not, and something in him suspects that he's screaming even in the darkness; that it's become so automatic he doesn't even need to be conscious.

Things fade again, and when he wakes up it's to the sharp, prickling sensation in his hands before the fire rushes in. No longer hanging, he's just as still, sure that this is a trap; that the moment he twitches it will start all over again. Holding his breath, he listens to the silence for a long time before gathering the courage to open his eyes. It's still blurry, but he's alone, which brings both relief and terror. He's alone, but he can't know for how long. The only thought in his head is escaping, and this might be the only chance. He gets up by sheer willpower, and he would have cried out at the pain if his throat wasn't raw from screaming. Shakily, he finds his clothing, nearly losing his precarious balance at the waves of pain that accompany the shirt, and stumbles to the door. He knows he should be careful, quiet, but he rushes for the door anyway, tripping over the entry as he makes it across the street. Problem number two: he doesn't know where he is or what direction he needs to go in, but the loud noise behind him decides for him, and he runs down the street, just barely managing to stay upright.

He wakes up screaming and unable to breathe, the walls of his torture chamber still swimming in front of him. Vaguely, he hears his name being shouted above the noise, and he blinks a few times, trying to clear his vision. "Cas? Cas! It's okay, you're not there. Baby, look at me. I'm right here. You're okay. Just look." Finally, Dean's face comes into view, drawn with concern, and Cas manages a wheezing breath, his cries quieting. Dean must notice, because a little bit of relief leaks into his expression. "Hey, hey, focus on me. You with me baby?" He tries to nod, and he must succeed somewhat, because Dean sighs, stroking his cheek lightly. "Good. You're safe, okay? I'm right here. No one is going to hurt you." Unable to respond, Cas whimpers and grabs onto him tightly, feeling the anxious pounding of Dean's heart through his chest. Dean shushes him softly, holding him close as he trembles. "I've got you. It's okay. Just take it easy. I'm not letting anything happen to you." Surrounded by Dean's scent, the knot in Cas' chest loosens, and he manages to wrestle his breathing back under his control, though he can't seem to stop the little tremors that run through him. Dean runs a hand through his hair gently, humming softly in an attempt to soothe him and waiting patiently until Cas sniffs and looks up. "You alright?" he murmurs, gently pushing his hair back.

Cas nods, giving a little shudder as he wipes at the wetness on his cheeks. "Y-Yeah. I'm sorry."

"Don't you dare," Dean replies, kissing his forehead softly. "I mean, you scared the shit out of me when you started screaming like that, but it's not your fault." Cas looks up at him, surprised to find wet trails down his face too, and he reaches up to wipe them away lightly. Dean gives a sheepish smile, glancing away as he wipes at his eyes. "Yeah, I know, I know. I was just worried about you. You're sure you're okay?"

He swallows and nods. "Yeah. I think I just remembered a lot of what I was missing." He sighs, resting his cheek against Dean's chest and feeling his still-pounding heart. "I'm okay," he murmurs, smiling a little and rubbing at the spot gently. "You can breathe."

"I'm trying," Dean chuckles softly. "That was some wake-up call. Morning, baby."

Despite himself, Cas laughs. "Morning. I do my best. What time is it?"

"Just about seven," Dean murmurs. "A little early for a Sunday. Do you want to try going back to sleep?"

Cas shakes his head, unwilling to take the risk of slipping back into his nightmare. "Not right now. But you can, if you want."

Dean snorts, pressing a hand to his chest. "Nah, that's okay. I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep for a while anyway. Why don't we just relax for a bit, and then we'll get you cleaned up?" Cas nods, shifting until he can lay pretty much on top of Dean, pressing his face into Dean's neck. "Comfy?" Dean chuckles.

Cas nods, sighing. "I can't wait until you can hold me properly again," he mumbles.

"That makes two of us," Dean answers. "Soon. And once I can, I'm not letting go for a long, long time."

Cas smiles, pressing a soft kiss into his neck before looking up at him. "I don't think I have any complaints about that."

They spend the rest of the morning like that, lost in slow, lazy kisses until Cas' stomach starts to grumble. Dean chuckles softly, running a hand through his messy hair. "Come on. Let's go get you some food."

Dean helps him up, steering him over to the couch and carefully setting him down before disappearing into the kitchen. Cas watches him curiously as moves around the kitchen. "Dean? What are you making?"

Dean glances over his shoulder, grinning as he puts something in a pan. "You'll see."

Cas chuckles, reaching out for the remote and finding something to watch until Dean returns, setting a plate down on the table. "You made me chocolate chip pancakes?" he asks. Dean shrugs, settling beside him and laughing when Cas hugs him tightly. "Thank you." He glances down at the plate again. "You only have one fork."

Dean smiles and nods. "I know."

"You know," Cas starts, "I could feed myself…"

"I'm aware," Dean answers, spearing a bit of pancake and holding it out for him. "That doesn't mean I don't like doing it anyway. Unless you have any complaints." Cas shakes his head, smiling as he settles against Dean's side. Dean sighs happily, holding him close. After a while, Cas glances up at him. "You doing okay?"

"Me? Yeah, I'm alright. I'm not the one of us that was viciously attacked."

Cas shrugs. "Yeah, I know, but you're still upset. You're hovering. That's what you do when you're scared. I'm okay, Dean."

Dean sighs softly, nodding. "I forget how well you know me sometimes. I know you're okay. I just…it scares me how easily I could have lost you."

"But you didn't lose me," he murmurs. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, and I'm going to be fine, okay?"

"Okay," Dean murmurs, kissing his forehead softly. "I'll do my best, okay?" Cas nods, satisfied. "Think you're ready to get washed up now?"

"I…guess I don't have much of a choice," Cas answers uneasily.

Dean chuckles, kissing his cheek. "Don't worry. If Benny says it won't be that bad, I'd believe him. Besides, worrying is my job. Just think of how good it'll feel to be clean."

It does sound pretty nice to Cas, so he nods in agreement, allowing Dean to help him into the bathroom. He watches as Dean fiddles with the taps, occasionally testing the water in the tub and filling it a third of the way up before helping him undress. He rolls the bottoms of his sweatpants up, and Cas chuckles. "Thinking about joining me?"

"Just a precaution," Dean laughs. "Let's see how this goes before we decide if I should join you or not. Now, let's see what we've got." Cas stays still as Dean carefully unravels his bandages, gently peeling the gauze away to reveal the marks underneath. He winces slightly, but it isn't half as bad as he thought it might be, and he holds onto Dean's arm for support as he carefully steps into the tub. "Take it slow," Dean murmurs as he hesitantly sinks down into the water. "It might take some getting used to."

The water just barely laps at the lowest of the marks, and while it's uncomfortable for a few minutes, the sensitive skin soon grows used to it. "It's not bad," Cas answers in response to Dean's questioning look. "I think I'm good."

"Good," Dean says, relieved. "Step one down. Now, onto step two. Benny said this might sting a bit. I don't want to hurt you, so please stop me if it's bad."

Cas nods, bracing himself against the walls of the tub as Dean scoops up water in a cup, carefully pouring it down over his shoulder blade. His breath comes out in a soft hiss, and Dean pauses. "I'm okay, I promise," he assures him. "It does sting, but keep going."

Dean sighs, but nods, continuing to let water run down his back, and after a little while Cas relaxes, the stinging sensation gone. "Better?"

"Much," Cas assures him. "Actually, it's kind of good now."

"Well that's good to hear," Dean chuckles. "It looks pretty clean. Let's clean the rest of you up, shall we?" He grabs a washcloth, dipping it into the water and lathering it with soap before carefully running it over Cas' skin. Cas mewls softly, pressing into his touch, and Dean grins. "Enjoying yourself?"

Cas nods. "You have no idea how amazing that feels…"

Dean smirks, squirting shampoo into his hand and beginning to massage it into Cas' hair. He chuckles at Cas' moan. "Should I stop?" he teases.

Cas shakes his head hard. "Don't you dare!"

He laughs, nodding and continuing the motion. "Hey Cas?" he says after a moment, "How do you feel about going on vacation? Once you're feeling better, I mean."

"Vacation?" Cas asks curiously.

Dean shrugs. "Yeah. I was kinda thinking that maybe we deserve one after all this. I mean, you're on break until August, right? And I'm sure Bobby wouldn't mind if I took a few days off. It might be nice, to get away somewhere for a while. We can go anywhere you want. As long as we don't have to fly there."

Cas laughs, considering it. "I don't know where I'd want to go, but as long as you're there, I'd love to go. You're right, we do deserve it. It would be nice."

Dean smiles, carefully rinsing the shampoo from his hair. "Good. I think so too. And we don't have to decide immediately."

"Actually, I might have an idea," Cas murmurs after a moment. "I think I know someplace you'd like."

"Oh?"

Cas nods. "Yeah. But I want it to be a surprise."

"Fair enough," Dean chuckles. "Whatever makes you happy."

"Does that rule apply to everything, or just to vacation?" Cas smirks.

Dean laughs, leaning in to kiss him softly. "Whatever makes you happy, baby. Though, speaking of happy, there is one thing I'd like to ask you about."

"Oh?" Cas asks, raising an eyebrow at him.

Dean rubs at the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah. Well, you know how you were telling me a couple of weeks ago about how your landlord is a self-righteous dick? You said your lease is up soon, so I was kinda thinking it would be nice if you didn't have to deal with him anymore. Maybe you could…I don't know. Come here, or something, instead…"

"You mean like…move in with you?" Cas asks.

"It's closer to work for you," Dean babbles, looking down at his lap. "So you wouldn't have to drive so far…"

Cas chuckles softly. "Dean…"

"And then you wouldn't have to deal with him…my landlord is pretty awesome…and, you know, it might be kinda nice…"

He only stops when Cas presses a hand over his mouth. "Dean," he repeats, laughing, "I'd love to move in with you."

He moves his hand to reveal Dean's wide grin. "Oh. Good. Okay. Good."

Cas shakes his head, pulling him down by the collar of his shirt to kiss him hard. "Did you really think I'd say no?" he asks. Dean shrugs. "You big dummy. Help me out of here, will you?"

Dean chuckles, carefully helping him out of the tub and holding out a towel for him. When he's mostly dried off, he takes it again, gently patting his back dry. A knock at the door startles him, and he frowns. "Who's that?"

"I don't know," Cas shrugs. "But you should go answer it. I'll finish getting dressed." Dean nods, walking out into the living room and opening the door.

He's not sure what he expected, but it certainly wasn't a fuming-mad Gabriel and a confused-looking Sam. "Okay Dean-o, where is he? What have you done with him?" Gabriel asks, jabbing a finger into his chest as he storms into the apartment, Sam trailing behind.

"The hell…What in God's name are you talking about? Why are you here?"

Gabriel snarls at him. "My brother, you ass! I've been trying to reach him for two days, and his phone's been dead the whole time. I've left him a hundred messages. I went to his apartment, and his neighbors said they haven't seen him. I know you did something to him!"

Hearing a commotion, Cas finishes pulling his sweatpants on and walks out into the living room just in time to see Sam grab Gabriel before he can lunge at a shocked-looking Dean. "Um…what did I miss?" he asks, puzzled.

Dean turns first, relieved, and reaches out for his hand. Gabriel's eyes flick over to him, and he sighs. "Goddammit Cas! Don't scare me like that! I was about to take out a missing persons report on you. Where the hell have you been?" He pauses, glancing back. "Let go of me, Sam. I'm not going to kill your brother. Yet."

Cas frowns in confusion, looking between the three of them. "Gabriel, what are you doing here?"

Gabriel frowns at him. "You haven't been answering my calls for days. You were supposed to meet me for lunch yesterday. When you never showed I tried calling, and your phone was dead. So I went to your apartment, and everyone said they hadn't seen you for days. So I got Sam to take me here. You can't do that to me, Cassie. I thought you were dead somewhere!"

Cas sighs, holding a hand up. "Gabe, I'm sorry. I completely forgot about lunch. My phone died two nights ago, and I haven't gone home for the charger yet. I was dealing with something. I'm sorry for scaring you. Now, why don't you come sit down? Want a drink?"

"He needs one," Dean mutters. "What about you, giagantor? Why would you bring him over here?"

"I'm sorry Dean, but you weren't answering your phone either. I was concerned. I didn't think he'd try to kill you like that."

Cas turns towards the kitchen, and Gabriel gasps sharply. "What the hell is that?!"

Cas frowns, puzzled for a moment before it dawns on him. "Oh. There was an incident." Gabriel only looks even more furious, and Cas steps between him and Dean before he can do anything. "Woah, hey. Gabe, it wasn't him, I promise. I've been here for the last two days because Dean's been taking care of me. Look, why don't you just go sit down and we'll talk. I'll tell you the whole story, I promise."

Gabriel casts Dean another disapproving look, but pulls Sam into the kitchen. Cas sighs tiredly. "You think it's about time we came clean?" Dean murmurs.

He nods. "Yeah, I think so." Cas sits down at the table, grabbing Dean's hand and starting at the beginning, with the start of their relationship, and going up until the incident. "So after I escaped, I came straight here. I guess I was pretty hysterical, and I wouldn't let Dean take me to the hospital, so he called one of his friends to come fix me up. I guess my phone died sometime during the night, and I wasn't thinking about it. I know it looks bad, but I'm fine. I didn't mean to worry you, but you know Dean would never hurt me." After a minute of silence, he glances up from the table to find Gabriel sitting in shock. "Gabe?" he says cautiously. "You okay?"

"I…Yeah," he says finally. "Just…a lot of information. You're sure you're okay?"

Cas nods, relieved that he seems to be taking it well. "Yeah, I'm going to be fine. Dean's been taking good care of me."

Gabriel looks down sheepishly. "Sorry I tried to attack you, Dean. Thank you for helping my brother."

"It's okay," Dean answers. "I know you were just worried." He glances over at Sam, who's thinking in silence. "Sammy?" he asks cautiously.

"Yeah, sorry. I just…do you know who did this to you, Cas?"

Cas shakes his head a little. "Not yet. I don't remember a whole lot about him. But we're trying to find out. I'm just glad it wasn't worse."

Gabriel makes a thoughtful sound. "I still can't believe it."

"Believe what?"

"That my little brother is having kinkier sex than I am," he answers smirking.

Cas sighs, looking over at Dean. "There's the Gabriel I know."

Gabriel chuckles. "Come on, it's a compliment! I'm actually kind of impressed. Whatever makes you happy, Cassie. Well, seeing as you're alive, I guess we should probably get out of your hair. And charge your phone, would you? I don't want to have to kill your boyfriend unless you're actually dead."

"Point taken," Cas chuckles, shepherding him out the door. "I'll see you later, Gabriel. We'll reschedule lunch."

Dean sighs as the door closes behind them, wrapping his arms around Cas' waist. "Well that was something."

Cas nods. "Sorry my brother tried to kill you."

Dean laughs, kissing him softly. "It's alright. I suspect it won't be the last time."


Woohoooo! So many updates. Please remember to review! It makes me so happy!

Love,

TheSongSmith