Ty:
I ran through the woods behind the hotel at a moderate pace with music blaring in my ears. Once in a while I'd look over my shoulder to see if Tank was still there. He'd better be, as I was running slower than I normally would. Alone with my thoughts I contemplated my feelings for Bay.
It was the oddest thing. Whenever I thought about Bay as a woman, as my ex-girlfriend, I could feel my anger at her consume me. I still couldn't believe that she'd keep my son a secret and last night I'd had the most horrible nightmare that I'd been lost in St. Louis and knocking on every door trying to find my son. I'd woken up bathed in cold sweat and I couldn't imagine what Angelo must have gone through last summer.
When I actually saw her it was a different matter. She was the mother of my son and I just couldn't be angry at her while Diego was around. Although for me the easiest would've been to just sweep my son up and disappear with full custody, I knew that he needed a mother and I was sure that Bay would be a good one.
I liked Tank. I confess that I would prefer to have no man in Bay's life interfering with the upbringing of my son. Being that this was not the case, I'd rather have him by her side than anyone else.
I was interrupted in my thoughts by Tank grabbing onto my shoulder. Irritated I yanked out the earphones.
"What now?" I asked him "You can't be quitting already, we've barely done 15 minutes."
"I can't go further, I won't make it back." He panted "How do you do it?"
"Do what? This? This is nothing, mate, we're made to do twice this distance with 30 pounds on our backs."
He looked at me miserably.
"I thought I was fit, man. I really did." He ran a hand through his damp hair.
I patted his back.
"It's ok! We'll get you there in the end. Head back if you want; I need another half-hour at least. I'll see you in the lobby in one hour."
He gave me a sad nod and I saw him run off in the direction of the hotel. I put my earphones back in and was happy at being able to increase my speed now.
Bay:
I was in so much pain. All they could give me was Tylenol and it only did so much. I still couldn't feed Diego by myself and was dependent on the nurses holding him for me. I felt tired and irritable.
On the other hand I was happy that the surgery had gone well and the doctors felt confident that I'd be able to start the therapy in two weeks.
At 8 on the dot I saw Tank and Ty entering the room. Did those two come in pairs now? I wasn't sure I liked that. Tank made his usual walk to my bed and kissed me. I smiled at him. Ty had scooped Diego up. He looked at me.
"I need to run some errands this morning. Do you want to go grab a coffee or something? I'll stay with him for a while."
I nodded. Was he kicking me out? I felt a wave of hurt run through me. Tank helped me out of bed and into my dressing gown and we went down to the cafeteria.
"I'm sorry about yesterday, Bay. I left at 2 and it took me four hours instead of the usual two. Traffic was horrendous." Tank looked at me apologetically.
I patted his hand "It's ok, I have no recollection of anything but this morning. It wouldn't have made a difference. How're your parents. Did you tell them?"
I saw a brief shadow creep across his eyes, but he hid it immediately.
"They'll be fine, don't worry. Just a bit shocked at the moment. You'll get to meet them soon."
I hoped that day would be far, far away.
"My mom is coming later, she took the afternoon off, she's been great." I said with a smile.
Tank held my hand.
"That's good to hear, you'll need her support."
We finished our breakfast and went back upstairs. Ty was sitting serenely in the rocking chair with Diego on his chest. I felt a tug in my heart. He got-up as soon as he saw us and handed me the baby.
"I'll be back after lunch." He closed the door behind him.
"I wonder where he's going." I muttered.
"He's off to the bank and to some shops." Tank ventured.
I looked surprised.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"He asked to borrow my car yesterday at breakfast." Tank said with a shrug.
I was absolutely dumbfounded. I didn't know where to start.
"Borrow your car? And you had BREAKFAST?" I felt my voice rise.
Tank smiled at me.
"Yeah, pretty awesome right? We also had diner and he's helping me a lot in the gym."
I was horrified. When had all of this happened? Had I been sleeping for that long?
"Why would he help you?" I asked tonelessly.
"I don't know. You told him to be nice after all." He shrugged.
"That's different Tank, I was trying for him not to punch you. Not creating gym buddies." I was still angry.
"He's a pretty decent guy." I could tell that Tank regretted his words the moment he said them.
"A pretty decent guy?" I lost it there and then "Have you forgotten what he did to me?"
Tank reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Of course not, Bay. I'm sorry. I meant he's been decent with me."
I couldn't really put a finger on what I was feeling. Should I be happy about this? I certainly wasn't feeling that.
"Why would he? I mean I'm his ex. There's no reason for him to behaving like that."
I saw Tank look at me critically.
"Do you still have feelings for him, Bay?" He asked slowly.
I felt close to combustion. I quickly took my hand out of his.
"Feelings for HIM? Have you lost your mind? How could you think that? He CHEATED on me!"
Tank got-up then. He slapped his forehead.
"Right! So it's ok for you not to have feelings for him, but not ok for him not to have feelings for you. Is that what this is about?"
He was sounding angry. So was I.
"Oh Tank, don't be stupid. Of course it's not."
He turned towards me.
"You know what? I think it's exactly that. He's hurt your pride by not worshipping at your feet."
"Has he said anything?" I was confused.
"Said anything about what? You? No, he hasn't. Look, you should be happy here. I'm with you and he's embracing the situation. You're acting like a spoiled brat as far as I'm concerned."
Diego started crying then. I turned towards Tank in fury.
"Just get out of here."
He did and I started crying.
Tank:
Christ, I was furious. Talk about being selfish. Not wanting to be with the guy, but not accepting the opposite either. I didn't even trust that she didn't have any feelings for Ty.
I almost blurted out what he'd told me, but had just about managed to contain myself. I don't know if it was a guy code of honor thing or wanting to protect her feelings. I just needed some air right now.
I made it as far as the parking lot, then realized I didn't have a car. Fuck!
Ty:
I stopped by the Bank of America branch in White Plains and took out 8.000 dollars. It was almost my entire savings, but I left a cushion for some of my own expenses. Next I went in search of a shop that sold baby stuff and found a place called Buy Buy Baby in Yonkers.
I made my way there and explained to the sales girl that my wife was expecting and we needed to get the stuff for after the baby was born. I didn't really want to go into more details.
One hour later I was finally at the cashier and felt exhausted. Most of what I bought were clothes and the two big expenses had been the car seat with the stroller and some sort of high technology swing that seemed to be the latest rage according to the girl. It looked like a spaceship hanging from some sort of contraption and it had music and 8 different swing settings.
I shouldn't really be buying this taking my finances into account, but I just couldn't resist. Half an hour later I was back at the hospital. I took the clothes out first as they were the main priority and left the rest of the stuff in the car.
I walked-up to the room and saw that Bay was alone and struggling to get a crying Diego in a position that she could feed him. Her face was scrunched up in pain. I dropped the bags by the door and quickly went to help her.
"Easy Bay, I've got him. Why didn't you call for the nurse?"
She looked at me gratefully "They're doing the shift change and can't come right now."
She was struggling with opening the buttons with her left hand and I grabbed it.
"Here, let me." I quickly undid the buttons and placed Diego in the same position as yesterday. I inadvertently brushed my hand across her breast and she flinched.
"I'm sorry." I muttered quickly.
She blushed "It's ok. Thank you."
I looked around the room "Where's Tank?"
I saw a shadow pass across her eyes.
"He left hours ago. We had a fight."
I nodded "How did he leave? I had his car."
She shrugged then looked at me with tears in her eyes.
"Why are you being nice to him?"
I looked at her puzzled.
"Isn't that what you wanted? He's your boyfriend."
She looked sad.
"I meant that you shouldn't knock him out. I didn't realize you'd be car pooling."
I nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I don't know myself, he kinda ran into me in the gym and I ended-up helping him out. He's a nice guy, Bay."
She looked at me disappointedly. Then she sighed.
"It's ok I guess. I wasn't expecting it, that's all." She looked towards the door "What's that?"
"I went to get some stuff for Diego. It's mostly clothes and other stuff he'll need. There's also a car seat and a stroller in Tank's car."
I saw her tear up again.
"Oh! Thank you." She said with a small sob.
"Hey, it's ok. Are you all right?"
"I don't know. I'm in terrible pain, my hormones are all over the place, I was awful to Tank and I just feel like crying all the time. What if I can't do this, Ty? What if I'm a terrible mother? What if I can't give him what he deserves?"
I cupped her face and wiped one of her tears away with my thumb.
"Bay, look at me! He'll be fine. You're a great mother. I'll always be here as well. We can do this. Just because we're not together doesn't mean we love him any less."
She smiled at me sadly and nuzzled Diego's head "It's going to be ok, I promise." She said to him quietly.
Diego had finished eating and I buttoned up Bay's gown again and held him on my shoulder.
Once he had burped I laid him in his cot and sat on Bay's bed. She smiled at me.
"You're so good with him. I just texted Tank to say I'm sorry."
I reached into my pocket and took out the envelope.
"I went to get some money for you. There's around 7.000 in there. I don't have any more right now, but I'll also make arrangements to transfer you a part of my salary."
She opened her eyes in astonishment.
"Ty, I can't…"
I interrupted her quickly.
"Don't even think of it Bay, this is our son, we share the responsibility. I'm sorry I don't have any more. Do you want me to put it in your bank account for you?"
She nodded "Thank you."
At that moment Tank walked into the room. I quickly got-up.
"Thanks for the car. It really helped."
He nodded at me. I looked at both of them.
"Do you mind if I take Diego out for a bit? It's a nice day outside." I asked Bay.
She nodded and I rummaged in the bags to find him proper clothes and changed him quickly. Once he was all ready to go I left Bay and Tank to sort out their differences.
Bay:
I held out a hand to Tank and he took it suspiciously.
"I'm sorry Tank. I really am. I was confused and in pain and I just don't have a hold over what I'm feeling right now."
He sat on the bed and nodded.
"Ok."
"I'm glad you and Ty get along, I really am. It makes life easier." I smiled at him. "Can I have a kiss?"
Tank smiled and kissed me. We didn't get much time on our own as Kathryn came soon after. If she was surprised at Diego being out with Ty, she didn't let it show. We chatted amicably for a while until Ty got back. He nodded at Katherine and handed Diego back to me. He stood awkwardly at the door.
"I'll head back to the hotel now." He looked at Tank "I'll call a cab."
Tank got-up as well "No, I'll leave with you. I think the ladies need some time to catch up. I'll give you a ride."
Now my mother looked confused. Once they'd left she looked at me open-mouthed. I tried to put-on a cheerful expression.
"I'll explain." I did and managed to keep my emotions in check until my mother had left two hours later.
It was only then that I allowed myself to cry. I couldn't get Ty's face out of my head as I thought back on our joint feeding session. There'd been nothing there, I might as well have been the clerk at the bank. Confused at my own feelings I fell into a fitful sleep.
The Hampton Hotel, Westchester
Tank:
I watched as Ty lifted and lowered the bar at a steady pace as I stood over him. He'd finally let his guard down and agreed to let me help him with his weights. That must have been a really big step for him.
I looked at his arms and once again swore to myself to put-in more time at the gym and less time having diner.
"Why did you enlist?" I'd wanted to ask that question for some time.
Ty paused momentarily to look up at me, then continued at a slower pace.
"I don't know. I like to tell myself I didn't have a choice in the matter. I had a bit of a rough upbringing, had lost the three construction jobs I'd worked in. Then one day I walked into one of those recruitment centers and they made it all seem so easy."
I nodded. He didn't seem to be uncomfortable talking about the matter.
"Have you ever killed someone?"
I saw a shadow move over his eyes and regretted having asked the question.
"Yes." He said in a low voice.
"Listen, I'm sorry man. I shouldn't have asked that."
"It's ok. I'm a soldier, it's what I'm trained to do."
"How do you live with that?"
Ty took a deep breath.
"Their faces haunt me during the night. I try to replace them with the faces of the soldiers in my platoon who I saved by my actions. It doesn't make it alright, but it helps."
"Do you ever regret having enlisted?"
Ty had to think about that one for a minute.
"I used to regret it every single second of my day. Now with Diego here I don't know. I might be able to provide better for him with what the Army pays than with the odd job here and there."
He seemed surprised at his own answer and stood up.
"What's with all these questions? Are you thinking of joining?" He made a gesture for us to switch positions.
Once I was down I thought about my answer.
"No, I don't think so. I'm fascinated. I never met anyone like you before, and in some ways I'm envious."
"Envious? Of me?" Ty scoffed "That's the silliest thing I've ever heard."
I shrugged as I started my exercise.
"You got to make your own decision. Here in the East Coast, your life is planned out from the moment you're born until you die. I had to do well at school; I had to go to college. I had to join the fraternity. I have to become a lawyer and join my father's firm up in Boston. My one rebellion was to take the football scholarship down in KC instead of going to Stanford. My father will never forgive me for that. He'd have gladly paid twice the cost of college."
Ty looked puzzled.
"Seems like a pretty good life. All I've ever wanted was for someone to make the decisions for me."
We stopped talking then and I concentrated on my work-out. An hour later I was collapsed on the floor panting.
"You did well." I heard Ty say.
"When will we stop?" I croaked.
Ty laughed "For today it's enough. In the long run, when you can do this."
He did a handstand and walked the length of the gym on his hands.
I groaned when he collapsed next to me.
"That'll be never." I was sure about that.
He drank greedily out of his water bottle. I decided to ask my next question.
"Are you and that girl still together?"
That's when I saw him shut-down.
"No."
He picked-up his towel and started walking towards the door.
"I'm going back to my room. I need to send some e-mails. See you tomorrow."
I was left with an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.
Slightly longer chapter here. I hope I did a good job.
I think I'm a bit over my head here with the complexity of everyone's feelings.
I hope you like it. Next chapter will be short and funny for a change.
Are you rooting for Tank or Ty?
Please review.
