Sooo…I just wanna say thanks again for the awesome reviews! They made my dayyy! Hah, before I start this chapter though, I'm going to tell you about something that you probably don't care about.
So I wake up this morning all "Lalala, it's 10am and I just woke up! Lalalalala!" then, I heard a noise while I was about to come down the stairs, and I was like "Oh, fuuuuuuuucccckkkk no."
So I went downstairs to investigate, right? It was my fucking stupid ass eight year old brother…grrr…he's not supposed to be home. He's supposed to go to grandmother's house and not be here. I'm the only one that's supposed to be here.
I HATE watching my brother. Wanna know why? Because he's annoying. He eats food weird. He sasses me. Can you believe that? No, no. I do not take eight year old sassing. That will not fly with me.
So I call my mother, because this is the second time she did this to me. Wanna know the difference between this time and the first time? The First time, she texted me, telling me that she left him home with me. It still pissed me off then, but at least she told me.
Yeah, so she leaves my eight year old ass-licking brother home with a sleeping girl who hates his guts and doesn't tell her. I could've been sleeping until way after noon, okay. Yeah, so, back to the story.
I called my mother, all pissed off and what not, and she answers all cheery like, right? So I tell her to stop leaving him home with me. And she's all like "Oh, I was going to be late for work so I had to leave him home with you…"
Well, that's no excuse, mother. You're late for work practically every day. When you leave someone for another someone to baby sit, you're supposed to tell the babysitter, and another thing. I expect to get paid for having to watch, feed, and care for this little ass licking brat. But don't expect me to do it nicely. I intend to be a bitch while I tend to his every fucking need…yeah right. I'll be a bitch, sure, but I'm only going to feed him.
Stupid brothers…wake up earlier if you don't want to be late, stupid mother….
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…but I own a Deidara Akatsuki ring! It's my most prized possession at the moment…
My head hurts. So bad. I hear these muffled voices, but I can't tell where they are coming from. I opened my eyes, only to close them from the offending sunlight that just blinded me.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I turned myself over onto my side. The voices stopped. Someone touched me. I screamed, my eyes shooting open. Hey, look it's my brother….what's his name again?
Amon? No, that isn't right… Axel? No, no. Alec? No, I don't think so…Alex? It seems familiar, but it doesn't quite fit… Jugo? No, he's not freakishly tall. Narutard? No, no, who would name their child that? I would…no I wouldn't, people could make jokes…what's his name? God dammit!
I coughed. "Kalika? Kalika can you hear me?" my brother asked me.
I blinked a few times, looking downward. "Who…? Am I Kalika?"
"Y-yes, you are sweet-ums," a woman said. I turned my head to look at her. She's not a woman, I laughed. That's…that girl. My friend. The one with the obsession with Tobi. "Do you remember anything about the last few days?"
"Uh…I don't know," I said. "What happened?"
"The Akatsuki…" she trailed off.
"What about them?"
"You really don't remember anything?" my brother asked gently.
They were looking at me so intensely. I started panicking. What's going on? Who…who am I? What can't I remember?
I can't breathe. Now, the girl is crying and the boy's comforting her. "D-don't…cry…" I managed to gasp out.
My brother looked at me, telling me what happened during the past few days. When he finished his story, I looked at him. "That's not funny! I can't remember anything and you're making jokes? That's…terrible!"
"I'm not joking, Kika," he told me."
"It would be horrible to joke like that…" the girl added through her sobs.
"Prove it to me!" I demanded. "Show me proof that the Akatsuki were in our homes!"
My brother sighed and left the room, coming back in a few minutes later with a pile of things in his hands. He held up a receipt for…Friendly's. "This was from exactly to days ago when you took Tobi and Deidara out for ice cream."
"No, it could have been us three," I denied.
He sighed. "This is a piece of Deidara's hair."
"Anyone could have blond hair, though…"
"I didn't want to do this, but…these are your Akatsuki rings. The ones that you cursed," he held them up. They were all on the same chain now, covered in blood.
"How'd you get those-"
"I told you Tiffany took them. The curse was broken."
I shook my head vigorously. "No, no, no, no, no, no," I said. "There's no way."
"Feel for yourself," he handed them to me.
As I felt the chain, I felt that my magic wasn't on there. It must've been broken, but…I feel someone else's magic…who's?
I reached out and touched Kakuzu's ring. I felt a pulling sensation and got dizzy. Then suddenly, I was standing behind Sasori, watching a different me bother Kakuzu about giving me a dollar. I laughed. That is exactly something I would do!
I felt someone's eyes on me, and I turned. I came face to face with Deidara. He's holding Kakuzu's ring.
He smiled, holding it out to me. I returned his smile, reaching out and grabbing the ring. I felt the pulling sensation yet again and I was back in my room with my brother and the girl, Alex. "Did I bother Kakuzu for a dollar?"
"Yes," Alex laughed. "Then you told him you lost it and asked him for another one. He got up and almost tried to kill you, but then Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara stepped in front of you, stopping him."
"Is that what you saw?" Adam questioned me.
I nodded. "Yes. I believe you guys. I'm sorry that I put you through all that! I…I'm so sorry!"
They smiled. "You've put us through worse," they said in unison.
I laughed. "You bet your biscuits I did! Oh, my god…What happened to my walls?" I screeched.
"I yelled at you for not putting out a fire and you got really pissed, but then Tobi came up and he cheered you up, but then he was sad, so you took him out for ice cream, but he demanded that his sempai come, too."
"Oh…that's cool, I guess… so what happened to the Akatsuki members?"
"Well, everyone except Pein came into our world, which is weird seeing as his ring was gone too, but they were destroyed-"
"Hey! Wait a minute! While I was seeing stuff with Kakuzu's ring…Deidara was there. I don't think I remember him being there in that room when that actually happened…but he was there and he handed me…That's it! He handed me Kakuzu's ring before it was damaged-"
"So, that's why you have two Kakuzu rings?" Alex asked.
"Babers," I said. "What if I could get all the rings before-"
"No, if Deidara saw you that that means you can alter things," Adam interrupted. "You could ruin the whole time thingy."
"You're right…so…they're all dead?"
"Dead and gone…" Alex trailed off, sniffling.
"I'm going downstairs," I said, swinging my legs off the bed and standing up. "I need some sad time pudding."
I walked out of my door slowly. Slowly making my way down the hall and down the stairs. If what they told me was true, then I lost my first boyfriend…damn that sucks…I'm gonna need a lot of sorrow-drowning-out pudding. I hope I didn't eat it all the last time I was happy…
I was in the kitchen, looking at the slice in the countertop near the sink. I smiled. "I did that when Stephanie was here…" my smile faded. "That was right before…"
I shook my head, making my way to the fridge. As I reached out to open the handle, I realized that I was still holding the rings. I breathe caught. I just killed ten members of one of the most popular animes ever! That cannot be good…
"Kalika-Chan!" oh goodness, if I think about them really hard. I can still hear Tobi calling my name in that cut little Tobi was of his…
"Kalika-Chan! TOBI WANTS To KNOW If YOU ARE OKAY BECAUSE Tobi IS A GOOD BOY!"
I screamed. I know I have an overactive imagination, but this is ridiculous! "Tobi stop it!" another voice came. It kind of sounded like a British man…
"But Kalika-Chan thinks Tobi is a good boy. Kalika-Chan told Tobi that she thinks Tobi is a good boy! Did Kalika-Chan…lie to Tobi?"
I blinked and rubbed my eyes, realizing that I was crying. I turned around. There in all its evil psychopathic, murdering glory stood the nine members of the Akatsuki. "Wait! Where's…oh, never mind…" I said, remembering that I had killed Sasori.
"You are Kalika, is that right?" Pein asked me in that—A/I: SEXY!—voice of his.
"Y-yes…" I said. "Why?"
"Because you are the one who killed Sasori."
"Oh…well you see, it wasn't exactly my fault. See, he killed my sister to whom I had just made up with and I was kinda pissed off so I just…yeah…"
"He was always saying that true art is eternal," I heard a voice say. I smiled. "How ironic! Now he's dead!"
"Deidara, shouldn't be more…mourningful?" I questioned. "He was your partner after all…"
"Yes, but he tried to hurt you."
"Technically he tried to hurt me and kill all of you," I shrugged. "So…how'd you guys survive?"
"We wanted to ask you the same question," Pein answered.
"Oh…well, I don't know. I was, like…passed out for twenty-four hours, so…yeah…"
"Leader-sama," Konan asked. "Can we go find the others?"
"You just want to go see your boyfriend," Pein replied. "Go ahead."
"Thank you, Leader-sama." And she scampered away down the hall. Okay, no, she turned into paper and…flew down the hall, but same difference.
"Pein-sama," I asked, being all formal and whatnot. "Have you ever had pudding?"
"What?"
I opened the fridge and pulled out a pudding cup. Opening the lid, I grabbed a spoon and handed the items to him. "Here, take a bite!"
"It could be poisoned."
"Really? Really? Would you like me to take a bite?" so I did. Mmmm, pudding. Yummah yummah yumm!
He shrugged his shoulders and took a bite. His face went from stoic and unfeeling to a look of bliss.
"Do you LOVE it?" I demanded. He nodded vigorously, shoveling more spoonfuls into his mouth.
"See? No one can resist my loving nature! Because I'm BOX FIST MAN!" I giggled. "No I'm not, but I like pie."
"Loving nature, hmm?"
I turned around, facing the speaker of those words. "Hey, Dei."
"I missed you, un."
"I'm sorry for, you know, knocking you out," I said, pouting up at him. he laughed, stepping close to me.
"That's alright, hmm," he smiled, looking down at me with his one showing eye.
"Are you sure?"
"What do you mean, un?"
"Are you sure you're okay, Deidara-kun?"
He smiled. "I don't know, un. Why don't you kiss it and make it better, yeah?"
"Whatever you say, Deidara," I smiled, standing on my tiptoes—God I'm so short—and pecking him on the cheek.
He shook his head, grabbing my waist and pulling me towards him. I grinned as his lips met mine. Giggled against his mouth and I felt him grin. I don't know how he puts up with me.
"Aw, man! The bitch is with that fucker?" I heard Hidan yell along with a string of profanities that would make the Elder Swear look lame. (A/I: if you don't know what the elder's swear is. Then go onto YouTube and type in Potter Puppet Pals Wizard Swears, and watch it. I personally like the Vortex and Mysterious Ticking Noise the bestest.)
I pulled away from Deidara, and faced Hidan. "What's the matter Hidan? You jelly?"
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"You jealous? You jelly? Huh? Huh? Huh?"
Deidara put his hands on my waist again, pulling me back to him. he whispered in my ear. "I don't know how I put up with you…"
I laughed. "Me neither!" I noticed something, though. Something wrong. I turned around, looking past Deidara. "Yahiko! Pein! Cease your vast consuming of my pudding, you monster!"
I ran over to him, pulling his head out of the fridge and noticed that there was a pile of empty pudding cups. "You…you monster! How could you! now you're going to pay!" I growled. "You will face my wrath. Feel my FURY! YOU WILL TREMBLE BENEATH MY ALMIGHTY…" I took a big breath of air, looking around as I did. A few Akatsuki members were trembling. Tobi looked like he was going to pee his pants! "Deidara!"
I started to giggle uncontrollably at the looks on everyone's faces. "Deidara, Pein ate all my pudding!" I whined like a little child. "Blow him up! Make Pein go BOOM!"
"Uh...I can't do that, un…"
"Why not!" I cried. "He's being mean to me! Don't you care?"
"Of course I care, un. But he's my leader. I'm not allowed to blow him up."
"He's not your leader," a deep voice replied. "I am!"
We turned and looked at Tobi. "Madara Uchiha!"
People got these 'what-the-fuck' looks on their faces, and I had to be the one to shout, "WHAT? NO YOU'RE NOT! IN THIS STORY YOU'RE JUST TOBI! YOU'RE NOT MADARA!"
"Well, the author lied! I AM Madara Uchiha! And there is nothing you can do to stop me! Mwahahaha."
"Well, there is one thing," I replied.
He abruptly stopped laughing. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I heard the author was going to end the chapter now, so…I think that stopped you."
"But there will be another chapter, yes?"
"I…don't know…"
"Just kidding. I am Tobi. Tobi is a good boy."
The end! So what did you think? Should this be the last chapter? Or should I have an epilogue thingy. If I am to have an epilogue, what should it be about? I don't know what to do! I'm so confuzzled. Anyways, if this is going to be my last chapter, I love you all. Thank you for reading! Please review and tell me what you think!
Loves and hugs,
Yours psychotically,
Vee
